Is being a Henchman a good career choice for Gothamites?

is being a Henchman a good career choice for Gothamites?

Lots of job opportunities.

Of course, just look how smug those gentlemen look.

Yes. They get dental.

Considering how many abandoned factories and warehouses there are. The working class suffer from employment issues. It's either henchman or bartender in shady bar frequented by henchmen.

Good money. Police are generally paid off and leave you alone. There's really only a handful of vigilantes in the city, they can't be everywhere at once and they only catch on to what the boss is up to three or four jobs in.

If you do get caught, sit tight and keep your mouth shut. Any evidence collected by the masked heroes generally gets thrown out by the judges, on the take or no. Except for Batman for some reason, accredited member of the Justice League my ass.

For the Penguin, yeah. He pays well, doesn't go up against Batman often, and is far less likely to kill you or do something worse than the other rogues.
Just keep your mouth shut about his appearence, mind your manners and don't be near him when he's angry and I'd say it's a pretty good gig.

depends on which version of batman

In this economy? You know it is.

How come you think there's all these empty warehouses around. Gotham stinks, and if you wanna keep your belly full, you sign up with the weirdo in the fancy pajamas, keep your mouth shut, and hope the Batman don't break your jaw or knock loose too many teeth when he takes the guy down.

Batman villains ranked as henchmen options

>DECENT CAREER CHOICE TIER
Killer Moth
Maxie Zeus

>SURVIVABLE TIER
Penguin
Riddler
Mr.Freeze
Ventriloquist

>RISKY BUT STILL OKAY TIER
Poison Ivy
Two-Face
Anarky

>RISKS OUTWEIGH BENEFITS TIER
Ra's al Ghul
Bane
Mad Hatter
Killer Croc
Hugo Strange

>OH SHIT NIGGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING TIER
Joker
Black Mask
Scarecrow
Professor Pyg

Two face is bottom tier bro.

It's a 50/50 with Harvey and that's way more than what other rogues give you

Move Strange to Risky but Still Okay (free therapy!)
Move Poison Ivy down- with a caveat that she moves up if you have a femdom fetish.

Bane also could move up, barring DKR style League Bane.

>free therapy
>from Hugo Strange
No, thank you.

move down two-face (50/50 odds of him just shooting you for no reason)

move up Bane

I agree otherwise

Is there 50/50 chance he will pay you?

Helthcare sucks but that's why we rob banks

I wouldn't trust ivy unless my skin was green

the penguin sounds like the best to work for,
>fancy club
>he's sane for a bat villain
>you just got to get used to the smell of fish

Way I see it with all the regular and super crime in that city you're either in the know of what's happening or it's happening to you unawares.
Of course it can still happen to you while on the job but at the very least you had a heads up when to cut and run.

So for me I usually digest it less as a matter of occupation and more survival. Being a chump in Gotham doesn't gain you anything other than maybe a panel on the victims spread for Batman to angst over before entirely forgetting by the time Alfred calls everyone for dinner.

Hey, she likes trees too, and most of them have brown skin.

Largely depends. You'd have to be desperate and have nothing to lose if you want to work with Joker.

>Poison Ivy hates humanity in general and has no quarrels with brainwashing you to do shit that will get you killed
>Still okay
Nigga, what?

I was gonna ask why Gotham is so shitty, but the biggest employer in Metropolis is Lexcorp...

>Poison Ivy
She doesn't have henchmen, user, she has mind controlled slaves.

>I was gonna ask why Gotham is so shitty
Comics just chalk it down to built ontop ancient Indian burial ground.

Shit that needs to be a T-shirt

i'd move Croc and Ivy to the bottom and bump bane and strange
Whats so bad about black mask annd pyg, tho?

Talking about the minutiae of being a henchman in Gotham is always comfy as fuck

I knew a guy who worked for the Pyg.
He dont come around no more.

>i'd move Croc and Ivy to the bottom and bump bane and strange
I agree.
>Whats so bad about Pyg
I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

She had those henchwomen in B:TAS, though that was because she didn't have her plant powers and was instead a mad scientist with a supercharged immune system, so she had to make do with what she got.

Riddle henchmen here. You's guys are alright, dont go to Gotham station tonight.
Tonight we bring down the Bat!

Why hasn’t the FBI gotten involved with Gotham City? The place is crawling with domestic terrorism

I'm guessing we're talking about hippy eco terrorist Ivy here

geniune quetion, never got around reading Morrisons run
Also Black Mask seems too classic gangstery to really act so much against his own henchmen

>classic gangstery
different user but that sounds bad too
like a joke I heard
'talking to the mafia is like giving oral sex to a woman, one slip of the tongue and you're in the shit'

absolutely, but remember we are comparing insane cime bosses amongst themselves, literally any henching would be dangerous by itself

He's a classic sociopath, like a fairly realistic and more fucked up portrayal of one then something like the Joker.

All of his henchmen are lobotomites. Like at least some of Joker Henches survive. Anyone who works for Pyg gets a mandatory doctor checkup.

Being a thug in Gotham is a harsh work. I wonder, there could be a story about a henchman who must get his green question mark suit ready to a job interview with The Riddler, but his fellow thug ripped the thing apart so he could make a double-color suit for a gig under Two Face orders and... shit goes on and on.

There is a excellent story of Michael J. Straczinsky in witch Spider-Man meets this taylor guy who works for superheroes and supervillains alike. Its so fun.

Gotham lacks stories like that, exploring the human life in such a colorful city.

I've always wondered how the joker keeps getting henchman after a while, I'm sure some of them are loyal but he has way too many for that to be the case for all of them

You have to choose between working for Joker, Scarecrow, or Pyg, no other options. Who do you choose?

>Henchmen
>Thinking it's worth shit due to capes
I'm telling all you blokes now, get into the glass business.

Pretty much every night, I got museums, banks, apartments, everything calling my place up asking for window or glass roof replacement. I mean, yeah, those places then turned out to have been crime scenes but watcha gonna do, yeah? For some reason, the capes here just hate windows or glass rooftops, or glass walls, etc.

>Michael J. Straczinsky in witch Spider-Man
interesting, issue please?

>get killed as a joke, experimented and traumatized for life or outright lobotomized
can I pick Ivy?
gonna get fucked up all the same but at least it will be almost pleasant

In order of people I'd want to work for as a henchman,

1. Penguin
2. Lex
3. Riddler
4. Harley (not joker)
5. DOOM

Under no circumstances would I work for

1. Joker
2. Killer Croc
3. Osborn
4. Ivy
5. Batman

Scarcrow.
Constant nightmare fuel is horrible but it's better then possible death and/or torture with Joker or reassured literal torture and then figurative death with Pyg.

I would assume the Henchman that work for Joker are ones that no one else would hire due to violent tendencies. I mean Penguin Henchmen are brutes but seem to be more classy, ditto for Riddler. Basically Joker is the only one crazy enough to hire his clowns, but that is head canon that keeps me sane.

Here's an odd thought experiment. In the Justice Lords universe or one where heroes are villians, who would be the best to work under as henchman?

I also assume you have to be female to work under wonder woman?

Joker.
Scarecrow might be less of a homicidal maniac most of the time, but his goals are generally bound to fuck over his henchmen. And his backstory outright establishes that he is poor as fuck because he spends all of his money on research and books. He probably pays the least of all the Gotham rogues and I'm pretty sure the only reason anyone works for him is blackmail.
And I am absolutely terrified of lobotomy and the sheer state Pyg's Dollotrons are, so absolutely no.

If I'm having to choose between these three I'm already in too much deep shit to try and bargain better offers. So at least with Joker I have a slightly better certainty I will get paid (unless he decides to burn all his money again because lolsorandum) and not be left a horrifically broken shell waiting for death (Joker tends to kill his goons quickly and leave the tortures to the victims)

I remember this one greentext someone made about a henchman at a bar talking about working for Mr. Freeze.

Crane is an alright guy. Off the clock you could probably have a decent conversation with him.

I feel like with joker there's at least a chance we're pulling off regular crimes like robbing banks rather than insane citizen targeting plots of mass destruction. I mean the bank robberies would probably just be to fund one eventually, but still

that's not really unique in the DCU

it's also actually cursed, so they'd need to figure out how to break that first

If you don't mind being talked down to. He's probably got one of the biggest egos of the lot.

I mean, I've went to college and everything but he literally invents new mind-altering gasses and drugs on a daily basis. He's sort of earned it.

Crane is just as egocentric as The Riddler and ten times more sadistic.
He does have some allright moments but I would rather not take my chances

>UNLIKELY TO BE KILLED BY YOUR BOSS
Killer Moth
Maxie Zeus
Mr. Freeze

>STANDARD GANGSTER
Penguin
Black Mask
Riddler
Bane
Ventriloquist

>50-50 ODDS
Two-Face

>YOU'RE PROBABLY CRAZY YOURSELF
Poison Ivy
Ra's al Ghul
Mad Hatter
Killer Croc
Hugo Strange
Joker

>OH SHIT NIGGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Scarecrow
Professor Pyg

What's the context for this ?

>STANDARD GANGSTER
>Riddler
I wouldn't say there's anything standard, or gangster, about Riddler's methods.
Also, Black Mask is not on the same level of "okay" compared to Penguin or Riddler. He's one of the biggest edgelords in the Rogues gallery and makes a habit of sadistically killing his goons.

I would sign up to be Poison Ivy's mind-controlled slave

I'd risk it with Crane. There's not a lot I wouldn't do for a cute tsuntsun like him.

>Hatter
>not under unlikely to be killed by your boss

Just put on the damn costumes he wants and you're fine. I've never seen him in a comic go out of his way to be an asshole to his help.

I feel like Ivy would be a better boss if you're female, but not by too much, you'd just be slightly less likely to get fed to a plant. Only slightly though.

His help is usually brainwashed by hats.

I think Croc is a swell guy this time around, he's Roy's AA sponsor and is doing a king of the homeless kinda deal,

>Ok guys. We need a uniform, as you're my henchmen.
>We could all wear tuxedos like you, Boss.
>But then how would they know who's boss?
>You've got a purple top hot and umbrella, we'd all have matching black hats
>I like this idea, how much does it cost per person?
>I dunno, I guess seventy bucks at least
>Hmmm, bit pricy. How much is a black shirt with a printed word on it?
>About twenty dollars, sir.
>Hmm ... much better.
>We can have them all say Penguin
>No, let's have them all say "Henchman." ... but keep the hats!

I'm not trying hang out in the sewers all day though

Croc depends on the writer. He can be anything from a scaly thug to a man-eating monster.

That depend.

Do you have to pay for the suit?

Depends on what kind of a 401K plan you have.

You cam reuse the costume as Green Lantern cosplay too!

>Also Black Mask seems too classic gangstery to really act so much against his own henchme

You must not have read the stories where Black Mask was a psychotic cult leader who was into cutting yourself.

>Implying Ra's hires bums off the street

>bartending for badguys
I feel a life change coming on

Joker's henchmen have their own gang whenever they aren't working for the Joker. And they still dress as clowns. This is despite Joker being notorious for killing his henchmen.

Plus Joker has a habit of employing circus freaks.

>Freeze
>safe
Nah. He wouldn't go out of his way to kill you but the work environment would be so hazardous that you'd almost be at some risk. And he wouldn't even give a shit at all. He's cold like that

There's always pic related. It's the story of a dude who henches for Joker. The tone is very different from what you're describing (this was right after The Dark Knight, when Joker was at maximum edge), but it still manages to be darkly funny a few times. And it's kind of fun as an experiment, even if the content is pretty bleak.

If he had three Snow Bunnies working for him then I'm sure it aint that bad

>buy abandoned warehouses
>convert to a bar for mooks
>they blow their stolen money there all the time
>penguin might come by if its nice enough or catches the eye of the nightlife
>might strike a deal if you treat him well
>get insurance because you know shit will go down
>occasionally bat might come by and rough shit up
>worst case joker or somebody blows it up, have escape plan or dont be there on certain days

SLACK

morrison has a prose story in his bat epic about a joker henchman

Croc should be on Joker tier, he might eat you.

>I never read Hitman
Fuck off casual

Joker's henchmen in the Tim Burton movie were stylish as fuck.

>worst case joker or somebody blows it up
Let me fix that for you
>>worst case joker might just take me over or just kill me out right and take my money