How do i find a 6ft thicc QT like jasper to be my personal bodyguard and personal cum dumpster?

How do i find a 6ft thicc QT like jasper to be my personal bodyguard and personal cum dumpster?

Jasper Thread.

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Why does she make the heart go yonder?

Jasper is like, 9 feet tall, not 6

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Even better

>How do i find a 6ft thicc QT like jasper
Leave your basement

You probably couldn't find both. Not with skill in both professions while maintaining an Olympic lifter's physique at least.

Watched some documentary recently though: apparently body building takes a lot of time and money so a lot of people competing are strapped for cash. Some do escorting. So maybe you can pay someone to cosplay her for you.

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>ywn get the chance to fuse with jasper and stay
No real girl can compare

>Some do escorting. So maybe you can pay someone to cosplay her for you.
My body is ready

>not wanting to teach her how humans fuse
Thats what i want to do with peridot and lapis

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The Hillary shill mod goes after me but allows stuff like this. Wow.

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>tfw she will be redeemed and won't return as a rampaging force of nature with a thirst for vengeance

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She was jobbed out hard enough for her to lose all the momentum as a villain. If she comes back as an antagonist I guarantee you'd see her losing to Connie because "look how much our Mary Sue has grown lol".

They telegraphed her face turn pretty hard when she was corrupting, but I guess it is the lesser of two evils.

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>Connie

what would a Stevonnie-Jasper fusion look like and how cute would she be

I doubt she's going to shapeshift a vagina for you, user. Hope you like it intercrural.

>she will be redeemed by steven instead of greg dicking her

>They telegraphed her face turn pretty hard
I don't think they plan very far ahead
SU comes across as pretty amateurish

Does this fusion produce the most perfect warrior in history?

>power
>grace
>pretty face

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It would have a really good mix of offensive and defensive abilities, just imagine a gigantic, buff, and feisty Stevonnie that can move as fast as Jasper. Maybe Jasper's helmet would even turn into armor

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It's not exactly about planning ahead. They already established the plot points that paint her in a sympathetic light, and established characters that would be the necessary pieces to pull the trigger on the redemeption when needed.

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at last the Green Martians have managed to breed with the Red Martians. God bless Dejah Thark.

Jaspers jobing is a large part of why I dropped the show.

but user think of the children monster heels are scaaaary you wouldn't want the villains to seem too intimidating would you

Pearl x Jasper is the superior ship

Oh boy a best gem thread!

OP, don't. She's a he.

second-best being Jasperidot.

honestly, the best is a three-way.

out of all the thicc girls on /co jasper is by far the ugliest, genuinely disgusting.

Your taste is disgusting

oh baby this a good thread

On Silk Road?

In any case, you will need a LOT of money to find a girl
>Of that size
>Who still looks hot & cute
>With the capabilities to be a bodyguard
>AND is willing to be a cum dumpster

'cum dumpster'. The term should carry a summary death sentence. No trial, just up against the wall.

Yeah better to just find a big girl and train the other stuff

>Is made to be a tank
>Knows literally nothing about human anatomy, limitations, desires and emotions
>Wouldn't give a flying fuck if she did
>Very probably feels like a moving granite statue

No, no real girl can compare... literally any of them would be better. At the very least they could give you a handjob.

or a wrestler.

The best Jasper ship is Jasper x Happiness.
But Jaspearl, Jaspidot, and Jaspis are all great too. If Jasper ever gets redeemed I hope there will even be Jaspnet moments.

She will... vengeance on the one who deceived her: Yellow Diamond.

Unf.

>what would a Stevonnie-Jasper fusion look like

...Vast. Like a warrior goddess such as even the Norsemen could not imagine.

>and how cute would she be

- Jasper's animalistic passion
- Connie's intelligence
- Steven's kindness

Double unf.

don't they usually keep their hair short though?

I bet John's son was happy his dad's last name wasn't Clifford.

>No tuft of golden fur peeking over the edge of her bikini bottom
Weaksauce.

But how would you induce her to be both strong and submissive?

Because it's an exploitable weakness. But Jasper wouldn't care about that.

not as a rule. all the ones i know pull it into ponytails.

being at the top of your game can illicit feelings of loneliness that make you long for someone else worthy of a challenge. Being the best is really a test of how well you can stand isolation.

I can live with ponytail jasper

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Find a gym that's next to a bdsm club

>being at the top of your game can illicit feelings of loneliness that make you long for someone else worthy of a challenge.

That would imply user is capable of being such, but then why would he even need a body guard?

Why would a subbie want to get swole?

If they are like Jasper, they would just hit the gym and flaunt their strength to cover up their self perceived weakness and insecurities, but underneath that are just really desperate for any kind of intimacy and even feel like they deserve to be punished, maybe they would take pride in how much abuse and punishment they can endure

No I mean you get the girl to be the best at what she does. This makes her enjoy pretending to let you dominate her because she longs for someone who can actually take her power away.

Jasper needs someone who is strong and can treat her right, she needs to be taught how to love and respect herself by receiving lots of rough but consensual loving and fugging.

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So you guys want a butch gf? Cause Jasper's pretty fucking butch.

ya

>the only people with Jasper's physique are mtf bodybuilder trannies with hair extensions

The original design isn't even remotely attractive.

She-bear mode is too rare.

I wanna kiss her nose

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>knew someone who had jasper's body shape
>good personality too, kind of fucked up and had troubles, but wanted to be the guy to help her with it
>blew it by being an orbiter, turned out she had a girlfriend, but then got dumped by said girlfriend, never went for it again cause I thought she thought I was disgusting, eventually she terminates friendship
>can't watch jasper eps anymore because its too painful by association
>can't even fap to the r34 anymore without getting sad

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Eh... I want to like Jasper, but her personality is too similar to Bowser's for me.

And yes, I know people like her for that same reason.

>being THAT much of a self-loathing beta that you become blind to your enormous luck

Man, if I were you, I would have bought the helium tank by now.

>this story doesn't end with nudes
>this story doesn't end with a homemade sex tape
>this story doesn't end with cute cuddles
>this story doesn't end with user livestreaming his suicide

For what purpose

>Knows literally nothing about human anatomy, limitations, desires and emotions
>Wouldn't give a flying fuck if she did
That does sound like women alright...

>never wanted to fuck a statue
pleb tier

>actually did cuddle with her once watching movies, pressed me against her tits, fucking amazing
>thought she was just taking pity cause I was going through a rough patch myself
>was so worried about ruining the friendship that I never pressed forward
>only have the confidence to approach women now that I lacked back then and the fact that I wasn't and acted like a sleazebag is probably why she ended friendship
>no matter how many girls I get laid with or how many other relationships I've had, I still think back on that cuddle in her big bara arms and big bara tits on a cold winter afternoon and weep over what could've been

I came here to fap, not to feel.

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>ywn run your hands up and down her finely sculpted abs
>ywn cup her firm, buoyant breasts
>ywn smell the luscious forest of hair on her crotch

J U S T
U
S
T

We are the architects of our own hells user.

lol u fucked up
my gf 6 foot 5 nigga.
she aint stronk but dat ass tho so im damn happy

isn't Jasper a maniacal war machine with a deep hatred for Earth that could probably take out a human being in the blink of an eye?

why don't you guys just settle down for something like a Padparadscha?

>he is not immediately and permanently turned on by the idea of a war machine hating every fiber of his being

Get a load of this fucking pleb

Given what you've said, she probably was taking pity on you

Would it be a better show?

Lapis would drag it down

No, but it would be interesting.

damn okay

She'll have a butt once I convince her to try eating. I can work with that.

And also this is the best ship. She doesn't have pink hair but she checks off most of Pearl's other boxes.

Yes, like all of them