AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS

AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS

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Ah...FUCK! It's Zeus... sigh... get your chastity belts on...

LIKE THAT WILL STOP ME!

He'll just go for your mouth and behind.

youtube.com/watch?v=ehLVcUJj6ME

>tfw criminally low r34 of the muses

AND THEN ALONG CAME RA

When did I put sour cream on my celery?

Underrated movie.
>GOAT villain
>Borderline Superman story
>Great visuals
>Kickass setting
>Never feels dull or slow
>Underrated songs

Furfag

>CAME ZEUS

Yeah, he sure did.

Interesting that Hades is the villain in this film when he doesn't particularly do anything wrong in most of the myths. A lot of actual Greek stories are pretty hardcore though, so I don't blame them. Seeing Typhon would've been cool.

But he WAS the chastity belt!

>Borderline Superman story
Not really, is just the basic hero story.

Hades is literally the most benevolent of all gods.

You used to be cool, man. What happened to the Zeus that used to turn into a cow, and pick up chicks?

Hephaestus was a bro to.

He wasn't benevolent. Hades was "fair". Everyone died, and everyone would eventually serve Hades. So he could afford to make deals and things like that, because he'd win in the end anyway.

It really sucked to be dead in Greek Mythology and Hades was responsible for that.

Dionysus is the most underrated God, making crazy parties is literally his job for all eternity and he never get tired

youtube.com/watch?v=_LhmpuFFC2U

HONEY
YOU
MEAN
HUNKULES

>I only know mythology from memes!

I'm usually against character assassination and retcons but it was a great decision to not make Hera a complete bitch in this.

His cultists frequently would dance until they died, though.

It was pretty much Superman, user.

>Race of extremely powerful beings
>Hero is born to revered parents
>Hero is tragically taken from his home and placed on earth
>Hero is found by farmers who realize he's super strong
>Hero becomes a farm boy until he realizes his origins
>Hero decides to use powers to become a hero and uphold his legacy
>Villain is a schemer who utilizes other resources to defeat the hero because he'd have no chance one on one
>Love interest is a spicey female with an attitude

youtube.com/watch?v=UcRtFYAz2Yo

AND THEN ALONG CAME A BOWL OF ASSORTED GRAPES

Dont be an idiot too.

He was RK9, not "benevolent", even the otger gods and mortal humans didnt liked him.

Its always funny to me how Sup Forums exagerates it. It went from "you know, Hades wasnt literaly satan" to "Hades was the nicest and most inocent and jolly god of the greeks" wich is also incorrect.

That's just the basic Hero's Journey plus a couple of cliches, you tard.

>Villain is a schemer who utilizes other resources to defeat the hero because he'd have no chance one on one

I don't know user...

I feel like Hades was more powerful and could kill pre-god Hercules.


They just never fought directly even on the show, because it would ruin Hades's mask.

Honey you mean Cuck-ules

Die in a fucking fire you normie faggot.

But Hermes was also largely nice.

It's not a Sup Forums thing. There's been a widespread cultural shift to Hades the nice guy over the past two decades or so. I would actually say it started as a reaction to this movie and the way it presented him, but like with everything else the internet cannot into nuance so they went all the way to the other side.

Was he?

>say that to my face and not online. see what happens!

Well compared to the rest of the gods

As far as I recall all Hephaestus wanted to do was make cool fucking weapons / armor / contraptions all day and occasionally pass em off for people to get / find. He wasn't really a dick to people

I think the main time he got payback one someone was when his wife Aphrodite cheated on him with some other god so he trapped them in some enchanted net or something while they were banging / were about to bang and hung them up somewhere so all the other gods could laugh at em

You mean superman is a herkules story?

i think that god was ares

Which god is better?
>Zeus: rapist
>Poseidon:rapist
>Athena:punish rape victim
>Ares:cause random wars many times for fun
>Hera:punish Zeus rape victims
>Demeter: punish the entire world because her daughter go visit her husband every year

At least Hades only do his job, unfortunately he's just too damn good at it.

AND THEN ALONG CAME IZANAGI

probably, I think it was Ares or Apollo

All of that are cliches used in stories for thousands of years.

It was, I'm honestly surprised he ever got any considering he was such a fucking pussy.

And then along came Tezcatlipoca:

youtube.com/watch?v=ITstgdnmp6Y

...

Even Disney knows Zeus is black

FOUR
HANDSPANS
WIDE

AND THEN ALONG CAME VISHNU!

GOOOOOOOODDDSSSSS

What would a Disney film about Horus be like? I guess they would have to remove all the dick, rape, and sperm references though.

[AGITATED HAWK NOICES]

Might as well change the setting if you're gonna remove something so vital

youtube.com/watch?v=kc-d0uT6YJE

HE HURLED HIS THUNDER BOLT

He will impregnate you damnit, one way or the other. You do know he impregnated someone by golden showering them?

But the premise is interesting. It's not like Hercules is much faithful.

Most of them weren't rape victims though.

I mean the line between rape and seduction in Greek myth is murky at the best of times, but the stories very rarely mention or even imply that the women were unwilling to sleep with the gods.

Compare the story of Medusa to the explicit rape of Cassandra by Ajax the Lesser. Cassandra is entirely blameless in the endeavor while Athena completely wrecks Ajax's shit.

PROMETHEUS
R
O

Hermes was cute

It's more like if Hades was the god of the heavens, or Heracles being the son of Hera oh wait

Having the muses be gospel singers was a pretty inspired move

>Not Huitzilopochtli

I CAN'T STAND FAKE ASS BITCHES

With Greek gods you are basically fucked if you do fucked if you don't

Girl decides to fuck Zeus? Hera most likely fucks her or the child over

Girl refuses? Zeus fucks her anyway or screws her in some other way which then potentially leads to the Hera situation anyway.

Heck just look at Medusa. She gets raped by Poseidon within one of Athena's temples and she gets turned into a fucking snake haired lady (as a punishment or "blessing" depending on the version of the story) by Athena

I knew what it was instantly but I still clicked on it
Kys normie scum

LETS KICK TUT!

This is a Superman movie

>Heck just look at Medusa
It's like you didn't actually read what I wrote.

You seem upset.

You make a compelling argument, user.

thanks carlos

>God of War gets BTFO by lame god with a fucking fish net

that makes it even funnier

I like the movie but it's basically a Superman movie disguised as a Disney movie. For fuck sakes he even has the spit curl

on his world, the H stands for Hope.

Sometimes you luck out and get a happy ending.
Actually I only know one greek myth with a happy ending. The rest are brutally sometimes senselessly tragic.
Didn't some of those contraptions just end up being rampaging robots though? Like he just set a mechanical bull loose on the countryside just because he could make a mechanical bull.

Benevolent is a strong word, but he was certainly one of the least asshole-y gods. Aside from kidnapping Persephone, he didn't really do much. He even let some of the Greek heroes take loved ones out of the Underworld, granted they followed his instructions, which they usually failed entirely on their own.

He was the original mad scientist

>god of shopkeepers and merchants, travelers and transporters of goods, and thieves and tricksters

You guys still enjoy Hercules.
But never once do you remember the best hercules.

youtube.com/watch?v=XQFVRBPHyvc

>better song.

>Sometimes you luck out and get a happy ending.
You're still talking completely over my point.

>Actually I only know one greek myth with a happy ending
Stop reading tragedies then. There's a fuckton of happy ending myths.

Why doesn't Disney do a Blu-ray release of Hercules show, Aladdin show, Timon & Pumbaa ? There has to be a market for those right? Especially if they time it with a re release of the movie on Blu-ray

Dont waste time with the faggot, its obvious that he doesnt know shit about mythology, apart from what he learns from memes.

I think I meant to link the other guy.
Also name six happy myths.

Prometheus was a TITAN

i.imgur.com/tU7Yq9l.jpg

S'good.

>Cronus, the edgelord son of Uranus and Gaia, cut off his father's enormous penis with a sickle while he was fucking his mother, then proceeded to throw it into Earth
>he mocked his father Uranus and called him "Titan" which was an insult back then
>Uranus, told him that his sons would eventually kill him, partly because he was pissed off, but mostly because he wanted to fuck with his mind
>Cronus basically said "lol, whatever Dad, you have no dick"
>he then went to fuck and impregnate his sister, Rhea, but remembered his fathers words
>so he did what any sane deity did in the Greek mythology
>he ate his fucking son right after it was born
>Rhea was horrified, but not horrified enough that she wouldn't let him do that exact same thing a few more times
>5 more times, to be exact
"Hardcore" is one way to put it, yes.

Greek deities can't die.

I really like the Titans design.

ZEEEUUuUUUUS!!!!!

I like to think that all religions are right, and that if you believe in X, you will have the ramifications of X-religion. The only way a deity of that religion dies is if no one worships them.

In this case, the Greek Pantheon are weak.

Tell me I'm not the only one who was kind of into this.

...

Not at all

That whole sequence was unreasonably lewd

Don't even care that it was two goblins in costume, would smash that horse ass like Thor smashes jotuns

I watched that movie all the time as a kid.

How were Hercules and Xena as shows? I remember my Grandma used to watch them.

SHES A FRRRAAAAAAUUUUUAAARRRFFFFFF

Admetus, Perseus, Odysseus, Aeacus, Orestes, Menelaus and Atalanta all got their happy ending, off the top of my head. A number of Zeus' mistresses like Europa and Leto also had happy endings.

And all of Greek comedy is happy and silly, regardless of whether its dealing with mythological characters or mundane ones.

webm

Sounds like Warhammer40k lore.

They were alright. Xena was the better show, especially near the end. She went full Kratos and murdered most of the Gods.

>All of Greek comedy is happy and silly
Bitch do you even KNOW who Typhon is?

>ahahah look at that guy banging my wife and laugh at them

Untrue, Cronus actually retired to Italy and died of old age iirc