New Racist/stereotypical comic idea

Me and a few good friends have devised some C-Rate superheroes with either Stereotypical superpowers or Racist superpowers and I think this fucker needs a damn comic. Simple writing won't do it justice.

First I'll post the very basic plot, then the character bios. This plot was made up an hour ago and needs polishing, but it has the spark needed to make something beautiful. So please join me as I try to pitch this idea.
The trade between Life and the Towers.


The Comic's main plot is simple.
The major villain will be a giant man with two heads, each one shaped like one of the Twin world trade center Towers. The comic will start by showing each hero doing their own thing in different City Environments. But then a massive villain the size of a full Office Building(basically massive). This villain will be named "The Towers". Each hero save for Comrade shows up to fight the villain.
In the end they will all fail despite teaming up. Then one hero who didn't use their power decides to end it all on their own. Muhammad Man sets his Hooka down and steps onto his flying carpet. Waving goodbye to his new allies he flies off at breakneck speed towards The Towers before slamming into them and vanishing in a massive explosion.

The Tower's fall and the heroes think they have won, but nobody celebrates due to the loss of Muhammad man. It is just as the heroes move to leave that The Tower's begin to stand back up. Enter Comrade Chernobyl for the very first time. We then learn that the towers go down with two explosions, not one as he nukes them.

Essay Man. A janitor by day a Taco Vender by night this man general works a very tight schedule with also being a drug dealer every other afternoon. But when somebody needs help he becomes ESSAY MAN!
As Essay Man he wears a Luchador mask and a tiny cape. He's still obese and shaped like a pear with arms, but he has superhuman strength. Aside from the mask he also wears a little sombrero on top of his mask and a tiny guitar on his back. Along side him is his Pitbull named Max that is always on a very thick chain.
Essay Man has two weaknesses. He can't speak English properly and he doesn't have a green card.
He powers up by eating a taco.
Juan Deltorro is his secret identity.

Muhammad Man. By day an Oil tycoon by night he ditches his spiffy suit for classic Islamic robing and a turban to become MUHAMMAD MAN! His only true superpower is that he can self destruct, but only once as it kills him. To compliment his Heroic life choices he has a metallic Hooka as a weapon and a flying carpet as transportation.
In combat he can use the Hooka as a club to beat enemies. Not only that but the Hooka's tube can be removed to expel all of the trapped smoke inside onto the battlefield effectively giving everyone contact high while also rendering visibility to almost nothing.
Muhammad Sandavar is his secret identity.

The Squint. A financial advisor to Muhammad by day he takes a new intellectual heroic route. Wearing a pressed Three Piece Suit he has a magical Katana on his back at all times, even in normal life. The sword possesses the souls of all of his ancestors up until the sword's creation. His power of superintelligence rellies on his mind being melded simultaneously with every ancestor in his blade to create the most intelligent man on Earth. He uses wonky inventions (Asian Goonie style machines that break half the time and are stupid in function) to win fights. He never uses the blade because his main weakness dictates that he becomes a retarded Sushi maker if the blade ever breaks.
Kimmy Jong is his Secret Identity.

The Hippie. A man who lives in a tent by day and fights crime as a junkee at night. The Hippie is a hero at all times as he has no social life and lives like a classic Hippie in the woods. His superpower is that his body gains different powers from different drugs. Speed gives him super speed. Meth gives him the power to shoot teeth at people like a gattling gun. PCP makes him invulnerable and incredibly cocky. Shrooms gives him time manipulation. Opiom gives everyone he touches an overdose. Heroin gives him the power to grow a needle out of all of his fingertips with which he infects a heroin high and shares aids with his opponent. Cocaine gives him lazer vision (Nobody knows why).
His weakness is that over the course of the comic he very slowly gains immunity to the drugs which also weakens his powers.
His other weakness is his drug dependancy.
He also buys from Essay Man.
He has no name. He's lived in nature for so long that he has become the very essence of a hippie.

The Pimp. A Pimp by day a Pimp based superhero by night. The Pimp is a classic stereotypical black pimp with purple leopard print coat, diamond grill, gilded gun and flashy cane. He is always shadowed by a very large black man in a basic black t-shirt, this man acts like a bouncer and will do most of the fighting for the Pimp. If the Bouncer falls the Pimp can tap his cane three times on the ground to summon a hooker from thin-air. The hooker has two powers, one of seduction, and the other to inflict any sexual disease she wants on whoever she kisses. Not only can he summon a hooker from thin air but if the Pimp slaps you three times you are mind controled into working for him.
The Pimp's weakness is Law Enforcement and bullets. He also can't resist three things. Watermelon, Kool-Aid, or Fried Chicken. Being subjected to any of these turns him into a raving monkey. If you strap chains around his wrist he can't move.
However if he turns into this monkey form he strips naked and becomes Chimp Boy. A rabid monkey that jumps at things. As Chimp Boy he also wears a belt with Bananas on it that he uses like guns. The bananas do nothing, he's just a stupid monkey making bang noises while shaking a banana. Chimp Boy is a pro-level Basketball player.
Tyrone is his secret identity.

The Hipster. Nobody on the team likes the Hipster. A vegan by day a Vegan by night. His power is Hindesight and being generally annoying.
Nobody cares about his secret identity. But his name is John.
His weakness is fucking everything. Dis bitch is Yamcha. Like seriously. Idc if you kill him first.

The mime. This black and white man is his character day and night. Once a mime always a mime this man never speaks and has several powers. he can generate baguette's by opening his mouth and pulling one out. Not only can he pull out stale baguettes with the hardness of brick but whatever he mimes actually happens. If he mimes an invisible wall nobody will be able to pass. If he mimes a rope the enemy will not be able to move their arms and will be pulled around. If he mimes a sledge hammer he can hit enemies. If he mimes a car he can actually drive around.
His weakness is a white flag. Whenever near a white flag he is forced to speak and has no powers. He just screams swears in French while powerless.
His mother died in childbirth and his father died in an accident on the way to the hospital. Because of this and his innability to speak the Mime was never named. He is always a mime, saving the day or not.

The Flame Twirler. A stage actor by day a hero of fire by night. The Flame Twirler is a Hawaiian man who at night dresses up in a skirt of leaves and a shell necklace. Aside from these he is completely naked. His transportation is a surfboard that generates a small wave when he stands on it. He can breathe fire and carries around a double-ended torch. He fights using basic martial arts and his staff, his rarest attack is his flame breath.
His weakness is sharks and he has an innate fear of the Japanese. Whenever he hears The Squint speak he loses his mind and runs away.
Harry Honolulu is his secret identity.

Mullet Man. Gas Station owner by day wife beater by night. This racist and misogynist piece of mountain trash walks around smelling like cigarettes and dirt. He wears a pair of faded work jeans, a cheap belt, and old boots. He always has either a cigarette or a toothpick in his mouth and his hair falls low behind his back in the form of an untidy mullet. He has several powers. The most well utilized of his powers is his super mullet that can grow or shrink at Mullet Man's will and be used like a whip. He has some mental control over the mullet and uses that control to aim as he whips his head forward.
Mullet Man's other powers involve beer and his gut. Drinking cheap beer gives him these two powers, one is that his Beer Gut grows large and can be used for huge smashes. The second power gained from cheap beer is that he can slap any woman and she will be forced to make him a sandwich and get him a new beer. She will not have control of her body until she does this, fighting is mostly futile but the control can be escaped.
Mullet Man's weaknesses are Hair Care Products and a strong independent woman.
Billy Bob is his secret identity.

Last one I promise.

Comrade Chernobyl. Born in the fire and radiation of Chernobyl this man is your classic Gopnik by day and acts the part in battle. Yellow Adidas track suit (for uranium), cigarette, golden chain, whenever he shows up he is doing the Slav squat. Give him a bottle of Vodka and the problem is fixed. Comrade Chernobyl has the power of intense Uranium and nuclear attacks. His stomach has evolved to be a nuclear reactor. Rather than eat or drink to fuel his body instead a Nuclear reactor generates all the energy he needs and more. The reactor itself generates its own uranian, but only when he drinks Vodka or eats potatoes. One bottle of Vodka will sustain him for several days, but he chugs the alcohol like water giving him plenty of extra Uranium and Nuclear energy to last a fight.
He utilizes the Reactor within his stomach to spit Uranium. He uses this like a ranged attack to burn villains and give them Cancer. But if he spits Uranium into his hand he can compress large amounts of it like snow into a snowball. When he does this he creates a mini-nuke that he can throw at enemies for major splash-damage.
Dimitri Chercovski is his secret identity.

TL;DR

Then you're missing out.
This shit is fucking amazing.

>This shit
It sure is.

what kind of mental illness is this

>essay man

"Trying WAY Too Hard: The Comic"

Seriously, fuck off with this FATAL crap.

Hey man if one night of laughs and joy with my friends is trying WAY too hard. Then fuck it I tried way too hard.

Is you a black man.

Oh shit you found the punchline

>Hey man if one night of laughs and joy with my friends

>with my friends
then keep this shit with you an your faggot friends retard.
dont try to spread your shit in-jokes with everybody dumb-ass there your and your friends in-jokes.

Go home Sup Forums, you're drunker than usual.