Reminder: nobody masturbates in the DCU

reminder: nobody masturbates in the DCU

So what does this mean for sigil magic?

>that explain a lot about the DC universe

Truer words have seldom been spoken.

Makes sense

BASED GAIMAN
A
S
E
D

I don't get it.

>nobody masturbates
>universe is filled with fetishistic thirsty murderperverts in skintight suits

>fetishistic thirsty murderperverts
Sounds more like Marvel to me.

it's really both

Why would there be? This is a world where each hero has at least two villains who have no goal in life but to fuck them, and that's excluding their actual love interest(s).

So why was Constantine allowed to masturbate?

Maybe there'd be less villains if they could unload some of that frustration

DONT MASTURBATE!

That's what I'm saying, they're already all fucking each other

Constantine is a loser by DC superhero standards, of course he'd be flogging the hog while Chad Kent and Stacy of Themyscira destroy a few steel-reinforced beds

You can’t stop him

Well, there's your canon explanation. The Wrath of God himself will melt your ass if you fap.

So much rape

Almost like superhero stories are for kids.

Think about it, if Darkseid could just yank one out every now and then, do you really think he’d be so obsessed with reshaping the universe in his own image? No, he wouldn’t care because be’d Be able to masterbate.

>Sandman
>for kids

Thats fucking stupid, whats the point? I mean, sandman had alot more fucked up shit then masturbation in it, so its clearly not a censorship thing. Is the reason theirs so many supervillains because their constantly disgruntled that they dont know how to get their rocks off?

Sandman should never have been part of the DC Universe. Look, all due respect to Sandman but it's ridiculous of Gaiman to get on some high horse about a superhero universe over masturbation.

>no-one masturbates in the DCU

>every male from 11-80 who ever saw Super-Girl, Power-girl, Black Canary, Catwoman, etc never once jerked it to them

yeah sure

So why do they have porn? did superman make a movie that was useless to everybody?

Back when heroes were still heroes. I miss the good old days. What happened? Why does fiction have to deteriorate like life?

>the editor
You mean Karen Berger?
You mean the greatest editor in the history of comics?
You mean this was back when Sandman was still in the DCU and it was pre-Vertigo?

Yeah, it's good to not have masturbation references in DCU comics coming out in the 1980s, Neil.

FFS. You can really tell that his cult family screwed him up sometimes, can't you?

>Useless to everyone
Maybe people use it to get revved up and then fuck.

Even super villains have to respect Gaiman (Neil, before Zod).

When your comics feature heavy shit anyway, it's silly to have a rule against a vague allusion to masturbation and then to justify it not with "we have a rule against it" but "masturbation simply doesn't exist in the DC universe." One is strange but practical, the other is patently absurd because I would wager 99% percent of humanity has or will have masturbated at SOME point.

don't be silly.

I suppose.

It's just taken out of context to make it seem like something else. By "not in the DC Universe" the editor probably didn't mean "nobody ever masturbates" but more likely "we don't mention that stuff in DC properties" and Gaiman made a joke out of it.

of course they probably meant that, it's still ridiculous to say something like "there is no masturbation in the DC universe" because it's like saying "there is no sleep in the DC universe," it's almost unimaginable and simultanteously kind of hilarious

or "nobody poops," that would be more accurate probably

Props to the original Star Trek. If you had the original blue prints to the Enterprise (published in 1974, I think), they showed a toilet right of the bridge.

You know...

For the Captain's Log.

>The only way to permanently defeat Darkseid is to show him the Anti-life ejaculation

>the anti-life equation is actually just a guide on how to properly masturbate

haha

>no masturbation
>every city in DC is a perpetual crime ridden hellhole
I guess that works.

>anti-mind

I've never understood this complaint because the masturbation reference is still in the fucking comic. It's the bit where a serial killer at the "cereal convention" talks about how he beats off furiously and then cuts up his victims' bodies into pieces just as he did in his youth with porno mags and cats.

Christ, Gaiman is the definitive normiecore for redditors. I'm so sick of seeing this lunatic be discussed.

>normiecore
>redditors
Please talk like a normal person, and not a deranged asylum escapee.

Normal people aren't on Sup Forums so take your Gaimanshit back to the normal world, you faglover.

>"Sneed's Feed and Seed"
>Formerly Chuck's"
>Syllables align to "Chuck's Fuck and Suck"

...

I figured that shit out years ago, which explains why I have no life.

How fast do you think Superman could masturbate?

How is Gaiman a fag? He regularly has threesomes with Amanda Palmer and Stoya.

Also cuck soyboy and an inferior writer, unlike sigma male Vox Day, auteur of Alt*Hero.

You are now imagining Darkseid's O-face

>autist of Alt*Hero

Somebody post the panel.
You know the one.

>some stupid worthless roastie censoring Neil Gaiman

Who is this and why wasn't she fired immediately?

The fucker would probably rub one out on your best couch, just to mess with you.

no one wanks because everyone gets laid?

>She

There is your problem. Females play this game of being grossed out by the very idea of male masturbation, the idea of men having sexual release they don't control of profit from, while glorifying their own masturbation as some divine act of sisterhood with their vaginas.

Kek

>she
that explains a lot

It was most likely Karen Berger, and again... she probably meant to say "You know, Neil... we're already getting away with a lot of stuff. Upper management will probably cancel us if you make blatant reference to somebody jacking off." She was really supportive of the Sandman series, and did help push for the Vertigo line to be created so more mature content could be included....

It makes for a better story the way Based Neil tells it, but that's what writers do.

>With mastubation there is no sex
>Without sex, there is no baby
>Without babies there is no life
Everything makes sense now

it's DC tho, retard