Horrible comic dialogues/quotes thread

Horrible comic dialogues/quotes thread
Just post the worst written shit

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/xDDw6WzUqus?t=62
youtube.com/watch?v=iVzAMmpMra8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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That is some bad dialouge

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This one's from that one garbage Wolverine MAX series from few years back.

geez this is horrible

s'why I saved it.

Just found this in another thread

Is she talking to herself?
so she's crazy

Stand back fuckwits, it's Bendis time.

>Who won the last world series
>Who was the last American idol
>attended a Nascar race
What point is she trying to make? I'm American and these are all things I don't know or haven't done.

The point is that Paul Jenkins needs a strict and physically strong editor who would smack him across the face every time he makes a moronic idea such as this one or that garbage with Wrecker in Fallen Sun.
I wouldn't be so mad if he was an all-around hack, but he also wrote some of my favourite Spider-Man stuff, so he can do good shit which makes his blunders that much worse.

blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

>that garbage with Wrecker in Fallen Sun
Could you remind me?
Oh my god, Sentry didn't fuck HIM as well, did he?

What kind of idiot writer doesn't realize how that is going to sound barely a couple years later

That's the kind of dialogue Vader would have in the ST 2bh

>Try not to CHOKE on your ambitions
shit, you're right

I would pay for someone to read out unfiltered Bendis dialogue and show how unnatural it flows.

Anything from this Tome of SHIT. Singlehandedly made me an antisemite.

I don't get who's speech balloon is who

I blame pic related for single-handedly ruining Joker writing forever

>The Thing's flashback on Sentry's funeral
>after Wrecker almost kills a bunch of kids Ben Grimm flies into a fit of rage and almost kills Wrecker but is stopped by Sentry because "heroes don't kill"
>Wrecker escapes later and kills a school-bus full of kids just for lulz after which Ben Grimm, one of the most likable cape comic characters I've ever seen pretty much says "I don't give a shit about these kids, I hated Sentry because he was a better man than I am"
I'm fine with capeshit morality usually, yes "Joker kills dozens of innocent people and dresses them as clowns, after which Batman beats him up and sends him to Arkham Asylum so he could escape and start all over again" is fucking stupid, but at least it makes sense for characters, but this shit just pisses me off.

I forgot my commas because I'm so angry with this shit story. It's so weird that the same man who wrote the original Sentry mini which I liked wrote this tripe.
I wonder if Paul Jenkins is just a half-retard or was he maliciously making it shit to get back at Bendis for ruining his creation.

Helen Keller could tell and she's dead

Context: Rachel has hots for the sentient drug Sublime, the entity singlehandedly responsible for humankind's hatred of mutants.

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Post the rest of this

I think you win. That dialogue sucks!

Please tell me that is supposed to be sarcastic

Is she talking to Wolverine?

Inb4 unsolicited opinions on israel

illuminatingcomics tumblr com/post/125835148455/sitting-a-five-pages-parody-five-pages-five

The lack of subtlety is on spot

This isn't so bad. It's a little sadistic, which is how I picture Vader in his downtime, when he doesn't have to stop everyone else in the Empire fucking up the Emperor's shit.

These are all copypasta material. Especially the interviewer.

Somebody's watched too much Monty Python and thought they could translate that into a single comic pane.

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>What am I, google?
What a fucking hack.

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Batman Beyond had a better version of the same exchange.

youtu.be/xDDw6WzUqus?t=62

(start at 1:02)

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The kind of but that exact line? No. That shits far to lengthy to imagine James Earl Jones in a mask saying. Can you actually imagine Vader's slow intonation actually continuing on with "you'll have to be more specific". That's a line of snark, not malice and Vader ain't snarky. The first sentence though is fucking great.

Okay, aside from ALL the stupid shit, which is layered in a complex mire of fucking stupid:
>Always the Bride's Best Archer, never the Archer-Bride
What word is "Archer" supposed to be replacing? It's like a play on words, without ACTUALLY PLAYING ON WORDS.

Jesus, Gabby is so shitty I bet she can't even write a check straight.

I know this is a horrible dialogue thread, but are you trying to make some OC with that retarded as fuck comment?

>That's a line of snark, not malice and Vader ain't snarky.

>Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.
>He's as clumsy as he is stupid.
>Apology accepted, Captain Needa.

His answer should be "Who gives a shit?" He's Captain America, not Captain Pop Culture.

Morrison introduces a lot of ideas that work well when he is personally handling them, but become retarded as soon as anyone else touches them.

>thicc ginger whore
"Oh please elaborate"

I'm glad she's dead

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Yo hold on, you're getting in the way of a perfectly good circlejerk.

It probably works better as spoken dialogue, or at least rapidfire dialogue in general works fine spoken aloud. The problem is that it doesn't work as written dialogue. Even under the best circumstances, shifting the speaker every half-sentence only works for so long before starts having trouble keeping track of who is saying what, and eventually they lose track of what the point of the conversation was to begin with. This isn't a problem in spoken dialogue since you can audibly distinguish between voices, and actually hearing characters peak over each other makes things easier to follow than just seeing half a sentence written on a page. This is just exacerbated by how every one of Bendis's characters talks exactly the same, so these rapid-fire exchanges are even more difficult to parse.

Basically, the problem is that Bendis is writing for comics when he wants to write for movies.

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>These are all copypasta material. Especially the interviewer.
I’m fairly certain someone’s did write an orkified pasta version of the America Chavez one.

Actually, can kids these days answer wtf myspace is?

>I bet she can't even write a check straight.
You're so homophobic.

Did you just say "Bendis time?"

Beter version youtube.com/watch?v=iVzAMmpMra8

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Bendis... the writer?

That's the most comic thing I've ever heard

I don't think they can.

That's an awful lot of words to say nothing at all.

What was the offending statement?