Hey Sup Forums

hey Sup Forums
tell me about Bendis

Bendis? The comic book writer Bendis?

Yeah, that funnybook guy, that Bendis.

You want to know about Bendis?

Brian M. Bendix, the biggest bastard on Earth.

I havent heard this name in years....

Is a god

Bendis being bald is the worst-kept secret in comic book industry.

Funnybooks? You mean, like, comics?

Better than Johns.

Also better than Snyder
His recent stuff has been abysmal but his past work proves he has talent.

>Proves he wasn't always so terrible
Ftfy

It's weird when he shows up in Nailbiter

>I was only nine years old
>I loved Bendis so much, I owned all his comics and merchandise
>I pray to Bendis every night, thanking him for the dialogue I have been given
>"Bendis is love," I say, "Bendis is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Bendis
>I respond "I'm a faggot?"
>He says "Yes, you're a faggot"
>I say "But I'm not gay"
>He says "I meant faggot as a generic insult, not to call you gay"
>I respond "It's still pretty homophobic"
>He punches me and sends me to my room
>I am crying now, because I wasn't finished talking
>I go into my bed and it's very cold
>I feel a warmth moving towards me
>I keep feeling a warmth moving towards me for 5 panels
>I feel something touch me
>2 page spread
>It's Bendis
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear, "Wanna read my latest comic?"
>"Your latest comic?"
>"Yes"
>"You came to my room to show me your latest comic?"
>"Why else would I come?"
>"I thought you were gonna have your way with me"
>"You're 9 years old, anyone who could possibly think that would be a twisted freak"
>"A twisted freak?"
>"Yes"
>"Can I just read the comic?"
>"Go ahead"
>He grabs me with his chubby nerd hands and puts me on my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I open the comic for Bendis
>He wasted several pages on characters eating and doing nothing
>It hurts so much, but I do it for Bendis
>I can feel my brain tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Bendis
>He laughs a mighty laugh as he ignores established continuity
>My dad walks in
>Bendis looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all over now"
>"Who the fuck are you? I'm calling the cops!"
>"You were supposed to say "It's over now?""
>Fuck you, what are you doing with my son?"
>"You're no fun"
>Bendis breaks all the toys in my room and drops his mic
Bendis is love, Bendis is life

>but his past work proves he has talent.
This meme again...

....... I am scared because I am a DC reader..

Oh my God!

I'm sorry for your loss

Memes and jokes aside... has he ever done anything good, like what was his best work?

He has one (1) hit, which is Alias.
I actually fucking hate it. It has all of his shitty dialogue tics, the plot is meandering and boring, and Gaydos' art pulls the whole thing down.

yeah, he's famous because he wrote the scripts for gilmore girls. rather than be funny or clever, it's just a bunch of fast talking and stating the obvious. the andy warhol method of writing

His Ultimate Spidey is pretty damn entertaining. Scarlet was very good but abandoned. Powers is ok, Fire was good, spider woman was decent
his x-men, moon knight and guardians were crimes against humanity

Aside from Alias, people like his ultimate Spider-Man unremarkable teen drama with Bagley already past his prime (I can understand why people like the soap opera but claiming it's hot shit is ignorant), and his Daredevil, which I tried to read but dropped after a few arcs because it was just Benis with a bit of restraint.
Some also cite Torso but honestly, how many people read it?
I did but wasn't impressed since I don't remember anything.
I get headache looking at pages from Powers and don't see why I should keep trying to read his shit.