I believe it's time for our Spider-man of the week. Tonight's episode is about yet another green-skinned villain but this there's invisibility and animal cruelty so I guess it's kind of different.
The trick when you're running a show on a budget is to make things invisible so you don't have to animate.
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Previous episodes
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And continuing our vote til I run out of episodes
Do I keep going?
And if I do continue, what do I continue with?
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Let's get this show on the road.
*Yawn* spending all night assembling a Rube Goldberg machine kind of takes the fun out of super science
But how else am I going to make my own Grade A medium pink Pepto-bismol from scratch? The swill they sell in stores can't compare.
Medicine smoke. Don't breathe this.
Came out a little boiled but that's probably a good thing, right?
And I wonder what'll happen you add milk to it?
What next? How about putting it in a centrifuge and zapping it with lightning. That has to make something happen.
Charles Manson! Come! Who's a good boy? You are! Yes you are! Who's a hungry pupper who's going to help with this experiment? Who's the pupper who's gonna help daddy get the Nobel Prize?
WHODAPUPPERGONNAHEPDADDIEEE?
AREYOUGONNAHEPDADIEEEEE?
YESHUARE YESHUARE
SUCHAGOOBOYYYYYY
MMMMNUMNUMNUM SUCHAGOOBOYYYY ONLY THE BEST FOR DADDY'S BIG BOY
Charles Manson, Be sure to drink it all up for daddy so daddy can watch what happens to you.
People may ask who would name their dog Charles Manson. A genius. That's who.
Borf?
Bump. This is funny.
Eureka! I've done it! This random mixing and matching chemicals has finally paid off! I've unlocked the power of invisibility in drink form!
But what should I call it? Invisodrink! Rolls off the tongue
30 years they said that combining household items wouldn't amount to anything and boy are their faces red! Well maybe white because they're all skeletons by now but if they were alive and here with me now they'd be embarrassed!
WOOF
That time I combined a power drill with a table and a laser to open safes? Nothing compared to invisibility.
See? Safe open
And that time I combined a gramophone and a vacuum to suck in money to a beat? Small time.
Oh god I can't wait to drink it. Huh it changed color when it cools down. Ok could use some artificial coloring but other than that it's perfect.
AHAHAHAHAHA
Everything I needed to know about science I learned from /ck/ cringe threads and /diy/!
Charles Manson! I'm invisible too!
Huh, for some reason I thought I'd be able to see the dog since we're both invisible. A minor letdown.
We have company arriving soon and I wouldn't want this collar giving away the surprise. Sit Charles Manson! Stay!
"Spider-man! You made it!"
"Mr. Mayor, could you try labeling your doors? I tried them all getting here and I feel like I'm in a goddamn Silent Hill game.
Mayor: I called you here for your positivity, not to get sassed at. I get enough of that at work. You going to help us with our problem or not?
"Oh and let me introduce to you Big Boss, he runs the political machine around here and pulls the string behind the sham that is democracy"
"Hey, how's it hanging? I'm Spider-man!"
How's it hanging? Very low. We're sick and tired of people robbing our banks lately it's really ruining the mood around here.
Mayor: The police are baffled, they're robbing banks like we've never seen before. No culprits or anything and that's why we called you to solve our problem.
You're calling me? What do you expect me to do? I'm no detective.
What did he mean by that?
I mean I'm a costumed crimefighter and I specialize in fighting other costumed crime fighters but if you want me to do the police department's job I guess I can lend a hand.
"Excellent! Just the kind of enthusiasm I was looking for! You're hired!"
"Can I have my hand back?"
"NO."
This crime spree could only be carried out by a plotting mastermind but who is this invisible brain behind it all?
Gangmembers, welcome. You see me, Dr. Vesparian, looking like a normal human being one moment...
And the next? Completely naked! And I'm fucking invincible!!!
Wow! Not only are you a super criminal but you're a super flasher too?!"
Removed from the shackles of clothing there's no limit to the dastardly deeds you could accomplish now!
Yes, quite. And now that I've unlocked the power of invisible I'm rearranging the power structure around here. Don't worry, I'll let you have some of the profits. You are my henchmen after all.
Wait a second I thought you were the henchman. You give us a plan, we rob da banks and you get a cut to fund those experiments. We've been doing all the work. Why should we take orders from you?
You can't see how fair I've been?
No Doc, I can't see ANYTHING
And what if I put my glasses down here and walk away from the table. How are you going to stop me?
Then I'll shoot wildly and I'm bound to hit ya!
He's not bluffing! We've lost a long of gangsters this way!
Charles Manson! KILL!
HELP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
I give up! You're the boss!
Knew you'd see it my way.
Charles Manson LEAVE IT go to your Nightnight
On second thought it's too drafty to be nude at this hour except for the pants. That's gone for good. Now onto business. I have our next plan of action prepared and this is my presentation.
This is our target for tonight. I drew this myself.Spider-man is the street-level hero most likely to get in our way and if we can eliminate him then we'll rule the underworld.
He's like 9 feet tall! How on Earth are we supposed to kill that giant?!
Idiot! No one said it was drawn to scale! .He is not 9 feet tall!
We need to think outside the box and do what he'd never expect. What we'll do is set up a trap and lure him in not unlike a big game hunter fishing for eagles. And when he sees the bait and takes a bite then we'll bite back!
Charles Manson no! I didn't say bite now! Bad dog! Very bad dog! Go to your box! I SAID GO.
The bank's quiet but there's that big hole in the door. I should probably tell someone about it.
Hello? Anyone here? There's big hole in your bank and you should probably fix it.
...
Walloping websnappers! This bank is getting robbed by a Masterhand lookalike with alt colors!
>Charles Manson! KILL
Who're you he talking to? That's not my name!
FUCK
The hell was that?
OHGOD
Spidey Sense! You're not working! How could you do this to me?!
YAMERO
>menacing dog noises
The Hound of the Baskervilles? At last we meet
Alright pupper you're going on a walk... on a very short leash... across the room.
...
No air for you until you behave
I don't care if the people on the internet declare a jihad against me for this. That is a BAD DOG.
Breaking news! Tonight someone robbed the 2nd national bank and once again no one spotted any criminals
But the police did recover Spider-man's shredded costume and have advised that there is either a naked Spider-man running around or Spider-man's been obliterated. Spider-man expert J. Jonah. Jameson has issued a curfew and has advised everyone to lock their doors except for Betty Brant who is to deliver him a sandwich.
In other news, the crown jewels of Carbombya are due to arrive in the city tonight and will be held at the 3rd Tibetan bank
The crown jewels will be under armed guard by a very heavy Giant and a tiny, tiny man.
With Spider-man out of the way not even Goliath could keep us from those jewels
Mayor: Spider-man, I'm frightened.
Big Boss: I am too. I need reassurance and I need it now.
And he's probably going to show up tonight
Yeah and who's to stop him? Not you!
Spider-man: Relax, I've got a plan and had to fake my own death to do. You've made the preparations?
Mayor: Yes, we've been remodeling the bank and installing what you requested all day and have made the phone calls you desired.
NOW GIVE ME THAT HAND SPIDER-MAN
That was part of the deal
But what possible use could you have for an ice cream truck and a bank vault at this hour?
Don't worry it's going to be sweet and sticky by the time I'm through
Big Boss: What did he mean by that?
Mayor: We will find out together
"I've not seen anyone, how about you?"
"I've seen someone!"
"Besides me!"
"Nevermind."
Someone's trying to prank me I can feel it.
My hat! I need that for the bald spot!
There my hat is at!
*BONK*
Combining a popcorn bag with hard broccoli ... what will I think up next?
Now where would the good jewels be?
"Yo!"
"Spider-man?! You're alive!"
"So you noticed!"
And I'm here to give you a double scoop of whoopass
Dr. Vesperian: Marshmallow topping! Why you!
Spider-man: Visionary putting the topping first? How kind.
Spider-man: Lemon Sorbet next!
Dr. Vesperian: Marshmallow and Lemon don't go together!
Chocolate!
Spider-man: And pistachio and vanilla! How'd you like that?
>Muffled crying
Can't forget the jimmies on top
Have I gone too? Possibly, but good luck eating your way out of deadly dessert
Spider-man's been in there for a while do you think he's coming back? He said he wanted Spider-man head and he'd need money to get it but he was giggling the whole time so I don't know if we can trust him.
"Keep waiting. We need our captive. Dr. Vesparian used to work for Baskin Robbins and he stole valuable company secrets when he defected. We can't leave without him.
Mayor: You caught the bad guy and the gang was waiting around in the back just as you said! I like the bowl you have it's very cute.
Spider-man: Thank you.
Mayor: But how did you know?