How long would the tf2 mercs last in Marvel/DC...

How long would the tf2 mercs last in Marvel/DC? Keep in mind Scout survived a payload tier explosion while already having his torso injured.

And heavy can heal from bullet wounds by eating food.

I think they might do reasonably well and memorably as a quirky mini-boss squad. I think most heroes might be able to overcome them in one way or another though, just on increasing scales of difficulty.

When you say "increasing scales of difficulty" do you mean for certain heroes in each universe or for each merc?

well, the minute they actually capture or kill one of the superpowered beings in either universe, medic is gonna be upgrading the mercs

god only knows where that ends

Depends on how they're played.
Narratively they'd probably be played as a comedic group, not an actual serious threat.
While they might give their opponents a run for their money they're not going to be able to kill anyone, and probably won't die themselves.

>Medic extracts Mandrill's scent glands

>Medic gets his hands on Cap's super solider serum.
>Soldier drinks it thinking it's "rations".

For certain heroes, I mean.

I mean, The Question would have a lot of trouble facing them head on, and even face some strong opposition on the indirect front, but I still think at the end of the day the team could be beaten by The Question.

on the flipside, the mercs are kind of fun because while it's possible for low-power heroes to beat them, I could still see them as being able to stall out superman for an appreciable amount of time too.

I mean, not win, no, but if time is of the essence for supe's they might hold him for a few seconds.

Tough question. The TF2 mercs never seem to question why there's dozens of copies of themselves wearing a different color shirt, so potentially they're all clones being constantly churned out.
Individually, they wouldn't last long at all. But there would still be all nine mercs in some form or another running around at any given time.

>Medic finds a hero who's powers are alcohol based and gives it to demo
>Also probably runs a super power chop shop on the black market

"God, that tasted like crap. Hey doc, what's in this?"

"Typical things. Sugar. Cream. Blood."

"Blood? Are you freakin' serious?!"

"Well, I suppose calling it blood at zis point is a bit inaccurate. It's been so mutated by genetically altered spider venom zat it's a unique serum of its own."

"Oh God... I'm not gonna turn into some crazy spider monster, am I?"

"It's not an experiment if you already know vhat's going to happen, Scout! At worst I'll still be able to milk your fangs for more serum."

individually, they wouldnt stand a chance. together they could probably take down galactus himself.
teamwork is kinda their thing.

>The TF2 mercs never seem to question why there's dozens of copies of themselves wearing a different color shirt, so potentially they're all clones being constantly churned out.
Because it is literally never addressed in the story. Not in the comics, not in the shorts, not in-game, it's just completely hand-waved as a "don't think about it, it's a video game."

Can an ubered heavy beat up superman?

... can you uber superman?

He could survive his onslaught but no, he wouldn't be able to defeat him. The real question is if a uber heavy could defeat someone like Gorilla Grod.

No, uber doesn't prevent knockback so Supes could just super breath him away for 8 seconds or whatever.

Soldier wouldn't need it, he's already invincible. All those "kill me make me stronger" pills he stole from Merassmus would do the trick.

Speaking of Merasmus, would he be considered a hero or a villain? I mean, he only really goes after the mercs and they kinda deserve it when you think about it. He didn't even hurt that lady that told him his house was a raccoon sanctuary.

Superman would need to have his heart modified with the attachment Medic put in heavy, it's kind of implied that's what makes uber charge possible.

It really depends on what level of gameplay-story segregation we're dealing with here.
Like are all the abstracted game abilities something they have as powers, such as Heavy's sandwich letting him regain health?

Well obviously the Heavy's sandvich would let him regenerate. That's literally the entire point of the weapon. Trimping would also be a cannon thing since it's such a big thing in the community.

Merasmus would instantly be attacked because heroes judge books by their cover (with good reason). Since Merasmus also owned the immortality pills that Soldier ate i can only assume that he can come back from the dead as well, so it'd probably just turn into a eternal game of "technically this is self-defense" on both sides.

Well to be fair Merasmus doesn't act very evil half the time. Not to mention someone like Spiderman would probably back off when he realizes his mistake.

He'd probably do rather well in DC as long as he managed to get all the villains to fuck off his property and the superheroes straightened out. I've never read a single Marvel comic, but i have this strange feeling that Marvel is full of cunts that'd try destroying him if they so much as saw him ask someone for spare change.

To be fair he does have allot of artifacts that eat souls. The gargoyle is just one, the bombinomicon is the literal devil of the TF2 universe, and the hat he wears also eats souls though soldier used it as a bowl. To be fair though, he never seems to feed innocents to it. Mainly just criminals, like for example the mercenaries. He'd be like the darker, more funny version of Dr Strange.

Merasmus having the bombinomicon would probably put him in a favorable light since he's the only person keeping bomb satan sealed. Also If Dr Strange is half the cunt that he is in the movie I'm sure everyone who has met him would prefer a evil version of him as long as he wasn't a self-centered quip machine. And now i want to see the Punisher running around wearing his soul eating hat.

I guess it would depend on where Merasmus where to set up shop. If he set up shop in Gotham then chances are he's basically boned because Penguin unless he ends up working for him to pay his debts. I mean Merasmus can one shot a mercenary and has kill me come back stronger pills. If he set up in Metropolis he'd be fine, though it'd be a pretty major storyline as Supes has to convince Merasmus to stop feeding his magical artifacts souls. Could be damn interesting if that's the only way to keep the bomb devil in check.

Well I think that's because a normal human's heart would explode from the Uber energy. So the question is whether Superman's heart is stronger than a Mega Baboon.

how would Saxton Hale fare in marvel/dc

I wonder why with all these SFM videos with pretty good copycat voice acting, no one has ever adapted the comics? That shit would get millions of views.

>How long would the tf2 mercs last in Marvel/DC?
Comic characters resurrect from the dead all the time. They literally never die for real.

A comedic Kraven type who shows up to pick fights with interesting opponents.

Not sure why anyone thinks they'd need to "last", the mercs do simple task/good pay contracts and keep their heads down otherwise, admittedly some of the work has its odd quirks in the big picture but as for their side of things it's usually just turf security or sabotage.

Only person who might draw any attention is someone like Spy who can be Chameleon meets Mysterio at times and his overall espionage thing might put his nose in the wrong place. I also doubt Medic's interest and involvement in any practical methods of re-engineering, seeing how it's been established as Engineer's family who were behind Australium's life extension applications.

I thought he was eating his heart medicine.

>Spoiler
I'm pretty sure it would end up in superman fighting the bomb devil

To be fair, the bomb devil has knowledge and presumably power over all bombs. So what kind of bombs does the DC universe have? Because a fight like that could easily end in the Earth being destroyed.

HEY SUPERMAN
YOU'RE UGLEH

Isn't Superman weak to magic? I'm pretty sure that Merasmus is one of the few people that could actually pose a threat to him due to his immortality, ability to come back stronger than before, and his magic.

True, but Merasmus wouldn't pick a fight with Superman. If anything, they'd be good friends for the most part. But if they did come to blows Merasmus would be a pretty good threat, to the point where Lex would likely try to manipulate him into fighting Superman.

About the same amount of time as any other minions.

>Scout can send any character flying with his homerun taunt. He's the physically weakest of them all.
>Can somehow dodge fire damage while on fire due to bonk as well as explosions going off under his feet despite still being knocked back by it.
>Engineer has gotten a large number of high end diplomas.
>Heavy is fucking Heavy.
>Medic can heal someone to full health in a few moments.
>Soldier and Demo blow themselves up to get around the place faster and do it very often.
>Lasting as long as mooks.

...

>die all the time and quite easily
>No real powers, just skills and tech
>seem to be entire armies of them that all look the same...like minions.

>>die all the time and quite easily
To clones of themselves with literally the same powers.
>>No real powers, just skills and tech
>Being able to survive a payload tier explosion while injured and fighting off a entire army of Soldier clones isn't a power due to the sheer endurance you would need.
>Being able to send someone literally flying with a swing isn't super strength.

Pretty sure only Soldier and possibly Medic can take on the entire hero/villain lineup. Medic has souls and made the deal with the devil. Soldier took kill-me-but-come-back-stronger pills. All of Marvel and DC would probably just quit out of sheer frustration of the two.

Plus God is literally on Scouts side.

Better question: Is there any Marvel or DC character that could survive a fight with naked Soldier covered in honey?

Hercules is the only person that comes to mind

>lose to less than street lever
>stall out herald tier

Drugs kids, not even once.

I figure they wouldn't be villains(for the most part), so I imagine as long as they aren't causing civilian casualties or intrude too much on certain hero's territories(like say Gotham City) they'll do fine

well I doubt he'd be able to beat him, but considering what an Ubered Heavy can potentially do(as seen in End of The Line), I imagine he'd be able to do one hell of a sucker punch on him

“Before it was a Bomb, the Bomb was an Idea. Superman, however, was a Faster, Stronger, Better Idea.”

>Soldier meets Captain America
>Soldier accuses him of being a filthy commie spy and tries to murder him
>Cap kills Soldier in increasingly stupid ways but he keeps coming back
kino

Give one good reason why Soldier would jump to that conclusion.

>I imagine he'd be able to do one hell of a sucker punch on him
What if that punch was after he ate the buffalo steak sandvitch and he had mini crits?

Not standing for the national anthem when the baseball game three states away just started

He learns the Colombians have turned our Nation's capitol into a district under their domain and embarks on a one man mission to liberate America.
Captain Commie stands in his way.

>tiny baby men implying that heavy isn't strongest there is

He did not punch Hitler hard enough

Soldier is fucking crazy. The usual reasons.

That's a slightly fair enough reason.

Captain America has joined Hydra at least once or twice. How many times has Solider joined the forces of communism?

Could Medic help Peter cheat Mephisto?

>Engi combining Lantern Corps rings with the Wrangler for different sentry abilities
>Engi combining Lantern Corps rings with the dispenser for different buffs
>Every merc putting on a GL ring so Medic can combine his medigun and a BL ring for infinite kritz
>Demoman being able to talk to Mjolnir the same way he can with the Eyelander
>Eyelander and Mjolnir banter
>Scout fucking around in the Speedforce, annoying the shit out of the Flashes and Death
>Heavy getting GAMMA'D and being able to turn into a Hulk
Alternatively:
>Hulk Hands as a melee weapon for Heavy
>they're literally Hulk's disembodied fists, courtesy of Eyelander

>thinking someone could be stronger than a mega baboon

What are you, gay?

>Saxton replaces Kraven in the Venom ongoing
>finds out about the underground sewer dinosaurs
"Bidwell, I have a proposal for you."

Wow what is this? Whose souls does medic have?

It's implied the Mercs. Medic comments shortly after that page when Blue Heavy Classic rhetorically asks why they all can't just stay dead that it's because they have no souls with which to depart.
Thing is Scout and Sniper die in the comic, though both instances are implied to be near death hallucinations, but overall the comics take their liberties so I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

...

...

What if every single merc's power level is based on the best player at their class if they were in Marvel or DC hypothetically? For example, what if Canon Soldier is as dangerous whenever b4nny or tagg plays him combined with his lore abilities? Same goes for the other mercs.

I'd say it would also depend on loadout.

>Justice League is on patrol for nine new "supervillains"
>they hear an explosion in the distance
>one of them gets hit with a market gardener and falls
>there is another explosion as he rocket jumps away while screaming "HAAAAHH"

> He strafes back and begins to market garden everyone else while bunnyhopping

I would read "scout's worst double dates" so fucking hard oh god

>Pyro reflecting Soupman's eyebeams back at him

Spy would solo the Justice League

Where would Saxton Hale (and by extension Mann Co.) stand in either universe?

Those cuts of Engie dancing in between frag clips kills me for some reason (also that Soldier at the end)

Okay, so let's say we establish them in marvel.

They'd be a low tier merc team. Mostly villainous, taking jobs from figures like Kingpin and so on, but they'd Be more heroic than that. Shocker, Suicide Squad, The Rogues, Taskmaster... Villainous enough to be amoral in the pursuit of money, not villainous enough to work for something like an anti-human alien invasion or a multiversal death cult.

They'd be minor villains. The sorts of ones the heroes would finish whupping before a larger crisis in the first 10 or so pages of an issue. Even then, They'd occasionally have a part of a story where they show off or get some good feats in.

If I was to do a Team heavy story, I'd have Arcade involved. He'd build a new arena and probably wrangle some X-men or newbie heroes into playing a game of Capture the Flag, But the heroes would have bomb collars on.

Then there would be the reveal that the arena is built to self destruct anyways because Arcade's a dick, so the team and the heroes would find a way to break out after beating the snot out of each other.

>They might hold off Supes for a while.
The TF2 mercs are Bugs Bunny tier. They'd outright kill Superman if it was funny. The guy has an obvious glaring weakness, his secret identity is a regular subject of ridicule. Superman is one of the heroes weaker to having the rug yanked out from beneath him.

Imagine it. Scout would get a baseball bat with Kryptonite nails hammered into it, Pyro would run distraction with acts of serial arson, Engineer would build some sort of Lex Luthor contraption but dumber and less predictable, Heavy and Medic would team up with some sort of Kryptonite uber charge, and Spy would disguise himself as Louis and screw with Superman's head - Spy's critical failing moment would be when he transforms into Jimmy Olsen and then gets subjected to a classic Superman "prank". Or may he'd disguise as Lois and get kidnapped.

Point is, Supes has the critical kryptonite weakness explicitly so that people below his weight can still get in the ring with him. He's designed to get his ass handed to him by anyone who can shake a green rock at him.

Someone like the Question or Wolverine would be a whole lot more likely to get an edge over the mercs, and they'd only lose if it was funny enough for the mercs to roll over them in some kind of circus clown display.

Where would HHH, Monoculus, the Administrator, Team Fortress Classic, Gray Mann (and his robot army) be in Marvel or the DCU?

No idea on some of those. Some TF2 stuff are really just jobbers to the mercs. TF classic was depicted as more competent and serious so I assume they're grounded and have limits the modern TF2 mercs don't have. Gray Mann is a classical corporate villain, so he's in that scalable Luthor-tier where the writers could have him pose any threat they wanted, depending on what he builds and how much of his infinite resources he funnels in.

The administrator is the final villain.
A mastermind behind a long plotline.
In the final confrontation she would transform into her ultimate form via australium.

What about War! though, were Blu Soldier and Red Demo became friends?

The humor is based on opposite expectations. someone like The Question would treat a mercenary gang as a severe potential threat until he sees them in person and realizes they're a bunch of short-bussers. On the other hand, someone like Superman is used to fighting other demigods and would probably handle the TF2 crew with kid-gloves, underestimating how resourceful/unpredictable/annoying they could be.

It'd probably wind up with Soldier deciding to hit Superman over the head with a rock, said rock turning out to be an inexplicably acquired 5lb chunk of kryptonite.

Really that's all you need. He heard Cap joined Hydra, Hydra was an enemy in world war II (which obviously means it was a commie), and of course "it was a doppeganger" is just the sort of thing a lying commie would say, just like "I don't want to fight you", "get out of my house I'm calling the police" and "Hi mister! My name's Sandy, I'm three."

>"It was a doppeganger" is just the sort of thing a lying commie would say, just like "I don't want to fight you", "get out of my house I'm calling the police" and "Hi mister! My name's Sandy, I'm three."
I read it in his voice

That's what I was going for. Glad I succeeded.

Who would win, Saxton Hale or Gorilla Grodd?

My money is on Hale if it's one on one

they would be a strong street level team. Probably like the rogues.

Since Heavy can punch out all the blood in the human body then my money is on him. Bonus if they touched Sasha while he was eating steak.

Are they bad people?

Just one more day to finish your contracts, faggots. Tick Tock.

Contracts can be finished whenever. You just won't be able to buy the pass anymore

Good and Bad are hard to apply to them because they don't really think through their actions.

Soldier kills people regularly, but he honestly believes he's fighting for truth, justice and the American way.

Sniper and Scout have parental issues, to different extents, and they're mostly in it for the money, but have been shown to not be sadistic, and they've looked out for others on the team before.

Spy is aloof, but seems pretty amoral if you're not on his team. Again, he helps out the others and even pretended to be Tom Jones to tell Scout he's proud of him

Heavy and Demo are trying to provide for their families.

Medic and Engineer disregard anything not in their fields, but Medic has brought team members back from the dead (but also stolen their souls (but also uses that to trick the devil))

Team Fortress isn't good or evil. If you pay them for a job, it'll probably get done, just not in the neat, clean way you were hoping for.

In that respect, they're not so much good or evil, but a Force-A-Nature

...

Quick fix does but that doesn't give you invulerabality like medi-gun. However considering the bullshit heals you can get with Medigun uber+sandvich, if Supes doesn't no-sell the medic first then heavy could stand there like an idiot and tank all the damage.

Honestly uber Phlog Pyro with Thermal Thrust and Powerjack would be a hilarious villian against supes as Pyro giggles when Supes starts fires with his heatvision. Although Pyro would work better as a Batman villian who is so sickeningly joyful and creepy, the Joker runs to Batman begging for protection.

quick-fix medigun

Saxton Hale can kill ANY animal.

This. Especially since the Phlog causes its targets to spontaneously combust! Even Asgardians would probably get fucked by that.

>Soldier kills people regularly
They all do since they are mercenaries