*blocks your path*

*blocks your path*

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I'm hispanic, that legit scares me
beware the sandal

>When they finally say her name at the end and it's my name

Welp. I got that one low-tier Disney princess, I guess I've got an old lady shoe-maker, too.

Danger level 3, still not as bad as "el cinto"

Mama NO

So you never got el gancho?

No, I was never aborted.

I got the electric cord tho.

MAMA NO, LO SIENTO

>"remember son, beating the shit out of you with a Sandal for being a little piece of shit who don't obey orders is love, beating with anything else is abuse." Dad

>picks up phone, dials US-ICE.

>when you're a white kid over at your mexican friend's house and his grandmother is always strict with him but super nice to you and gives you plates of food to take home
>she also lets you pick oranges from her orange tree
g-gracias

what's the rule when someone younger than you does it?

Child Beating Instrument of Choice:
Mexicans: Chancla
American Blacks: Switch
American Suburban White Fathers: Belt
American Matriarchs (Mothers to Grandmothers): Wooden spoon
Religious Teachers: Ruler

What are some others?

>tfw black

I wish I got hit with a shoe, desu

My grandma used to take those plastic sticks from McDonalds balloons and use them as a disciplinary tool.

And lets you fuck her.

you cannot defy la chancla when used by a woman
unless it's a little girl, in that case you laugh at how it doesn't even hurt

Russia: vodka bottle

>Religious Teachers: Ruler
and dick, if catholic

dude no

No joke, I'd fuck Miles Morales grandmother

Jesus Christ, no. Someone get that guy some help.

they even captured the way mexican grannies dress so perfectly
I can even know how she smells just by looking at her

>Coco is all about family.
>Main character's family is so terrible they're willing to let their youngest grandson be stuck in hell because he wants to play music.

Fuck this movie.

...

at the end is all about family

>I got the electric cord tho.
One of my friends got the chord too, right when I was visiting.
Most I got was the belt.

They would've caved but Imelda would've thrown in that part about never forgetting his family.

dude, yes

That's right Jay!

I am going to have a lunch with the director at the Pixar campus as part of a charity thing. What questions should I ask?

Ask him if Imelda really would've let Miguel become a skelly if he wasn't willing to accept her conditions.

My mother would scold me in front of my friends in Spanish even yell shit if I pissed her off.

But she was always nice to my friends. One time one of my friends accidentally spilled soda in her white carpet and she was all "Oh it's OK user's friend, accidents happen" but I dropped a dorito on the floor and it was "VERAS QUE COCHINO ERES user! ¿ACASO TE CRIÉ COMO UN CERDO ? ASGAFDGPENDEJO!SJWSYIREEEEEEEEE!!!!" and she did it in front of my friends.

But man Mexican moms and grandmas would yell at you even if it isn't your fault, case in point
youtu.be/s7A-GFss_qo?t=7s

Only a mother or matriarch may wield it, everyone else it's powerless in their hands.

It's like the dads with their belts.

Thanks! That is a good one.

>fucking Sup Forums actually delivers for once

Yeah I can't understand a lick of that but it's definitely bringing back memories.

...

Just saw this and it's scary how accurate they got it. She's basically my mom.

>the 12 inches of justice

probably my favorite wizard magazine joke.

>Varillazos

I wanted to beat the shit outve this old ugly crone. Music is essential to life fuck this dryed up cunt for banning it

That was Imelda who banned music.

She was still at fault for continuing it and being such a mean harsh dick

...

The video? She's lifting the board so he can find something but then she lets the door fall on his head and then gets mad at him for it and even tells him "I TOLD YOU! IT WAS GOING TO FALL"

It was clearly her fault but she still blames him.

>Mama whips out the telephone cable

Please. You're more likely to be abused by a public school teacher or an Oxfam worker than by a priest.

American Black user here
My dad used a belt, his hands (open fist or grabs), and would routinely threaten to do weird stuff to me. Like, if he said or did something that made me cry, he’d threaten to put me in a dress for the rest of the day for acting like a little girl. That sort of weirdly specific thing.
Aparently, it was all he knew, because his dad used full on emotional and mental abuse, along with whatever was closest to him/ his hands if he was pissed enough. I am truly lucky I never got to meet the bastard, because he would have fucked me up like no one’s business. My dad probably threatened all of that weird stuff because my grandpa either did it to him or one of his seven brothers.
My mom didn’t get anything cruel, but she got unusual stuff. Sometimes, her mom would string together leaves into a leaf whip, and these were those very durable leaves with the pointy tips. God knows how she did it, but I’m told it stung like hell and would cut your bum or thigh if you were unlucky.
I’ve also heard of other black kids getting beat with frying pans, rolling pins, and even just full on punched or pushed down. Worst case scenario, you get a cruel and unusual punishment, like you get your head shaved bald and the kids at school tear into you for it.
It’s kinda weird, but I don’t think I turned out too bad. Hell, in spite of all the things my dad had do deal with, my dad went on to be pretty successful and raise me in a nice town where no one gets shot far away from the shithole he grew up in.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that black parents are horrifying at best. There’s a reason you hear some black people say, “Boy, I’m bout to beat yo ass” when they talk to their children. Because they were really, really going to beat your ass.
I can’t even hear someone say, “Boy” in that one voice without thinking of how my dad would talk before he whipped me.

Jews: Hormone blockers

Like Vanart shampoo and herbs?

Thank-you. Thank-you. I'll be here all week... remember to tip your waiter.

ba-dum-TSHHH!

>El Gancho
>The Hanger/Hook.
The fuck she gonna do with that?!!?

>American Blacks: Switch
The hell is a switch? A lightswitch?
Also, Caribbean parents'll beat your black ass with a belt. A leather belt.
Hell, they have a belt that's purely for discipline to inject fear into your nappy ass head. They don't wear that shit. That shit's for your ashy ass and your ashy ass only, so when you hear that clickity-clack of that belt getting pulled out of the top ass drawer labeled belt locka, you know your cracka ass better be doing some fucking homework cuz it might just lessen the beaten on your ungrateful bitch ass

True fucking story

abort you

Can you explain user?

A switch is the small branch of a tree.

Green tree branch. Flexible tough and make a whip noise when swung at your behind

Canadian Black: Grenada

I agree with this post should be a leather belt, or a hand (open or closed)

>*Summons more of its kind and brutally mauls you and your family*

Woolie's Family: Breakfast

is there anyone stronger than miguel azul?

>electric cord
That thing changes a man for life

You Spanish have it rough, huh?
Worst I got was a smack on the wrist.

Seeing as how he's still Disney's thing, see . The Heartless would make mincemeat out of him.

Gohan Blanco

Aaaah the memories of trying to run up stairs away from my father and then being dragged back down.

Kids these days on't know...

Korean mothers use thin sticks to lash at your calves. Shit stings like a motherfucker

>American Blacks: Switch

Should change that to American Black Grandmothers

>outlived some of her own descendants

DEPRESSING!!!

>American Matriarchs (Mothers to Grandmothers): Wooden spoon
That's it? Y'all had it easy. My mom had one of these things that she beat us with.

>American Blacks: Switch
Also orchard owners. The fun part was when they let you go out and pick the stick to be hit with and you thought the small ones hurt the least.

Whip you with it, hurts like a motherfucker and will draw blood if your grandma is pissed and possessed with the spirits of all past pissed grandmothers. Only happened once when I decided it was a good idea to steal my father's shotgun and sneak out to camp in woods for a night with my friends when I was 12. Neosporin and bandages on my asscheeks for two weeks straight.

Funny thing was my dad just took me aside and gave me the pistol safe combo after she told him and said to just take that next time so grandma would be less likely to notice it gone from the cabinet.

they weren't talking about priests

I know this feel.

>American Blacks: Switch
Maybe 50 years ago
there aren't too many trees in the projects

It's literally whatever your parent can pick up that will hurt you
Belts, shoes, electric cords, etc etc
I think I got whiplash onetime from being slapped so hard

>that clickity-clack of that belt
fuck, I still have nightmares

I sometimes wince when people walk by my bedroom door too fast

>American Blacks: Switch
Grandpa's weapon of choice Even made us pick it for him

>American Suburban White Fathers: Belt
What my dad did

>American Blacks: Switch
won't hitting someone on purpose with nintendium qualify as some sort of war crime?

my parents used a slipper, belt or backscratcher
whichever was convenient

>yell at you even if it isn't your fault
this desu

not exactly beating instrument but...

beans

parent does their best zod/hela impression and makes a child kneel on these for indefinite periods of time.

A switch is basically a tree branch stripped of branches, part of said punishment also would involve the child cutting the branch themselves (hence the phrase "cutting a switch").

Chinese: Feather duster, or a bamboo stick

>German kid is misbehaving
>His mom is called in
>Has a big metal spoon for some reason
>Goes into the teacher’s lounge
>Boils kettle
>Puts big metal spoon in boiling kettle water for a few seconds
>Wraps handle in a tea towel
>Walks back into the classroom brandishing spoon at her son
I’ve never since seen such fear in a person’s face.

Shit that brings me back. I had a fear of the spoon for so long. The only reason it went away is because I became a masochist who wanted the spoon and she never used it again after I started moaning and getting hard during a beating

>dials ICE on a Mexican living in Mexico

A couple of excerpts from one of my favorite books, Cheaper by the Dozen.

>Grandma averred she was a great believer in “spare the rod and spoil the child.” Her own personal rod was a branch from a lilac bush, which grew in the side lawn. She always kept a twig from this bush on the top of her dresser.
>“I declare, you're going to catch it now,” she would say. “Your mother won't spank you and your father is too busy to spank you, but your grandma is going to spank you till your bottom blisters.”
>Then she would swing the twig with a vigor which belied her years. Most of her swings were aimed so as merely to whistle harmlessly through the air. She’d land a few lights licks on our legs, though, and since we didn't want to hurt her feelings we'd scream and holler as if we were receiving the twenty-one lashes from a Spanish inquisitor. Sometimes she'd switch so vigorously at nothing that the twig would break.
>"Ah, you see? You were so bad that I had to break my whip on you. Now go right out in the yard and cut me another one for next time. A big, thick one that will hurt even more than this one. Go along now. March!”

>Mother disapproved of all forms of corporal punishment. She felt, though, that she could achieve better results in the long run by objecting to the part of the anatomy selected for punishment, rather than the punishment itself. Even when Dad administered vitally needed punishment on the conventional area where it is supposed to do the most good, Mother tried to intervene.
>“Not on the end of the spine,” she'd say in a voice indicating her belief that Dad was running the risk of crippling us for life, “For goodness sakes, not on the end of the spine!”
>“Where, then?” Dad shouted furiously in the middle of one spanking. “Not on the top of the head, not on the side of the ear, not on the back of the neck, not on the elbow, not across the legs, and not on the seat of the pants. Where did your father spank you? Across the soles of the by jingoed feet like the heathen Chinese?”
>“Well, not on the end of the spine,” Mother said. “You can be sure of that.”

>mom spanked me with pic related after removing the ball
Surprisingly hurt quite a bit.

>tfw you wished for the sweet embrace of the sole just to avoid the verbal punishment
There's no one better to destroy you mentally than an enraged hispanic mother

Corporal punishment was literally the straw that just about broke my back. My mother would whip my back, legs, and ass with a belt until I snapped and somehow got the belt away from her, enough to smack it across her face until I wrenched my arm from doin it so hard. Then I ran outta the house while she screamed. I was able to be put into foster care after that and I couldn't have been more grateful. I'm okay now.

>Parents abusing me made me depressed
>now they have to deal with a depressed non-functioning adult
serves them r-right
right?

So, you literally got a paddlin'?

So did it work

asked by a person that was not smacked with objects and only got hand spankings up until 5

*backs up a couple steps*
Yo, Kronk! Come get your mom, dude!

Literally the worst non-villain pixar character.

Jewish Mom had me with the fly swatter.

I was just given belt spankings (which are, in hindsight, more about pageantry and dignity since they were too loose and soft to do real lasting harm as you would a real whip or reed), but in theory, I suppose la chancla would be more damaging as slippers are rather sturdy things and their smaller size allows for more force from wrist movements to inflict further pain faster.

Just thinking about the belt makes me angry. I never got it because I did anything wrong, I got it whenever he felt like I wasn't "respecting" him enough. It's not my fault you're a piece of shit and everyone hates you.

You forgot Caning.