Why don't we have magicians guarding the criminals? Imagine if someone cursed the Joker with eternal bowel movement...

Why don't we have magicians guarding the criminals? Imagine if someone cursed the Joker with eternal bowel movement, no killing involved and he'd never leave.

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Gordon, what's up with you and people's butt hole?

It would lead to a year long event where he gets one of his henchman to feed him his own Joker venom so his farts expose everyone to the venom worldwide. It would creep into every title and kill off several C-list heroes and villains, have multiple variant covers and be collected in an omnibus that sells for more than any revenue generated by an actual comic.

The conclusion would also be very anticlimactic and rushed.

Why don't we just chuck them into the Phantom Zone?

Here's some concept art for the upcoming event.

Just say the magic phrase and go, Gordon

first you want me to rape him

now you want him to shit all over me while I'm doing it

what's going on, Jim?

not only do you have to clean up his mess, you want to clean up his shit too?

>anal but in reverse

jesus christ

Why doesn't batman learn magic?

>Implying the joker wouldn't gleefully commit crimes with shit constantly flowing from his ass.

>Imagine if someone cursed the Joker with eternal bowel movement, no killing involved and he'd never leave.

Jim...

Poop jokes are the funniest jokes.

>magicians
We already know you have dream magic, Gordon.
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This is a legitimately good question

Isn't this some diaper fetish's wet dream?

Maybe his autism prevents him, à la Reed Richards.

>diaper

you don't know the joker well

The Phantom Zone has changed a lot since I was a kid. Aren't things solid there now? And there are buildings?

Even in my childhood, the criminals there could see everything going on in the real world. They knew Superman was Clark Kent and they probably passed the time watching women getting undressed.
Didn't matter because they were never going to get out. Now, there are weekly escapes and then The Joker would know Batman's identity, the location of the Batcave, and everything.

Superman should just drop all super-criminals, naked, on to some world light years from anywhere. Scheduled flights with a designated pick-up point all police departments know.

I don't care if the criminals can fly, or walk through walls, or are so smart they can build disintegrators out of orange juice cans. If there's nothing on planet X but rocks and dirt and edible fungus, they're not going anywhere!

But the comic companies figured all that out after the Joker's first appearance -- the one where he died at the end and the editors demanded the final panels redrawn.

...

>Imagine if someone cursed the Joker with eternal bowel movement, no killing involved
...Jim, shitting yourself to death is something that does happen, and it's one of the worst ways possible to die.

Only if the spell quicks if he tries to escape. It's efficient.

...I don't know actually.

Any Batfags know why Bats never bothered with learning magic? Seems like a good way to keep up with the power levels.

>this was Gordon's endgame the whole time

Batman doesn't handle superpowers very well and he knows it.
Everytime he gets them he always goes on some kind of demented rampage or fights other superheroes or whatever.
He struggles with self-control enough as it is.

probably something something too obsessed with his parents death something something can't let go of 'facts and logic' enough to just habbeeb.
it's pretty much plot driven and always creates an excuse to bring in the sexy magician, the rhyming demon, or dr. Akbar.

still an unaging ghost filled nightmare hellscape. There is a solid area in it where people can move freely but its controlled by criminals.

He did, actually. He studied with Zatanna under her father. He just never really got the hang of it. He also had 'more important things to do' so he left. There were some comics not long ago about it.

I thought Zatanna was naturally magical like dnd sorcerers or Sabrina the teenage witch