You have been hired to write an Iceman comic...

You have been hired to write an Iceman comic. Make a story that can actual garner acclaim even from people who hated the Grace run, and Marvel will reward you handsomely.

Hard Mode: You cannot change Bobby's sexuality.

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Nightmare Mode: You cannot ignore Bobby's sexuality either.

I make him flamboyantly gay. Like, Venture Bros Shore Leave gay. They wanted a gay Bobby, and dammit they're going to get it

/thread

it's not actually possible.

bobby is just a ridiculously bland character in every sense imaginable. he has precisely two defining traits: he's young, and he's got enormous untapped potential. oh gee willikers man we can really get some mileage out of that

here's an idea: give him a spinoff series in an alternate reality where he leads a ridiculously gay relationship with peter parker. maybe by attaching him to someone who's just like him but actually interesting might make him somewhat likeable

Make him Jeffrey Dahmer levels of self-hating homo.

I'd give him a new boyfriend, and have him go on a sexy superspy adventure. Use all the tropes that Nick Classic and the Contessa used to play with. It would be hilarious.

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Bobby finds out that Jean turned him gay, but he decides that asking her to change him back would make him look like a homophobe, so he has to quietly endure the knowledge that every dick he sucks is only because Jean is the worst human of all time.

Go into what makes him an Omega-level mutant, the implications of making sentient ice golems and shit like that
Change the power level of the stuff he fights to be more in the mind, so you can psycho-analyse his repression of his gayness
Restrict relationship drama shit to about half an issue each trade

Go full fujo. Iceman is paired up with some other handsome guy, I don't care who. The other guy is supposedly strait but they keep getting into homoerotic situations. Hotel only has one bed, have to suck poison out of a wound, etc etc. Nothing ever happens though.

If I could generate good stories for characters that never had them, I would fry bigger fish than Bobby.

Imagine if I wrote the first Harley Quinn solo story worth a shit? I'd be rolling in dough. Iceman offers nothing and he will always offer nothing, he is literally nothing but his sexuality now.

We're talking about gay characters and yet somehow you're still the biggest faggot in here

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Bobby realizes his Omega level powers. Story becomes about how a God can relate to his old friends and cope with divine powers. Other marvel character also become elemental gods (i.e. Pyro, Whirlwind, Ricter..) Bobby has a three way with Jean and Emma because he's alpha af with all his power. We find out Bendis' future icemam was actually Hydroman who's been gay since MJ left him. I'm not gonna let some kike married to a nigger ruin my favorite Xman

>"Oh no, Bobby, I was bitten by a snake on my cock! You're going to have to suck out the venom!"
>"That's not a poisonous snake."
>"How do you know? You should suck it out just in case."
>"Dude, snakes are my favorite animal. I know everything about them."

So Grayson but with Iceman?

AoA Iceman from Uncanny X-Force but mega gay

>Iceman
youtube.com/watch?v=eH-E58w3lmU

>here's an idea: give him a spinoff series in an alternate reality where he leads a ridiculously gay relationship with peter parker. maybe by attaching him to someone who's just like him but actually interesting might make him somewhat likeable
Why make it an alternate reality? Let's go full force and make Peter Parker bisexual

I won't write a gay character not even for money and fame. There nothing they can give me, nothing

Have him get into a freaky fire accident that makes him lose a large majority of his power and what remains is hardly controllable. Ensue an antihero arc where he makes alliances good and bad to get it back. Culmination happens when all sides betray simultaneously and he damn near frozones the ozone’s and shit before someone balls him and the burst gets him back to full instead of killing everyone. Then another explosion is set to happen and he has to decide between forgiving allies or losing powers again. Cliffhanger and then he goes alone only to be saved by allies that once betrayed, only for him to betray them for their kindness and then fuck off remaining a bad guy. End story

Make him the porpotionally rarest minority in Sup Forums of all: An evangelical christian. Team him up with Nightrcrawler, representing old school christianity, Peter, representing atheist humanisim, guest star a hero or villian of a different faith or ideology every third issue.

He stays gay, but tries not to act on his feelings, thinking that there's a larger plan for him.

Dedicate a section of the letters page to angry mofos.

amazing. who are you?

The last issue of his run implied that jean brainwashed him into being gay.

Casual easy mode scrub

Iceman fucks Kong, 48 pages about that, checkmate Bendis

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Use either the AOA or Ice Wizard version and have fun alternate reality adventures

A graphic novel where Bobby summarises his personal history and sexual repression in the X-men in several therapy sessions, it's done like those classic PAD X-Factor Doc Leonard Samson stories. Gets into his troubled relationship with his parents, how being 30-something loser and seeing his younger self be more relaxed and in touch with his real feelings has him have conflicting emotions like jealousy and anger, his shame for being in the closet despite knowing nobody was going to judge him, how he feels shitty for dating women and fooling them, how his current disasterous love life is terrible, etc.

Tell me that doesn't sound good.

Make all that "you're gay BS some mind manipulation, implanted thoughts. Iceman goes after whatever messed with his mind and in the process go back to his old gook girlfriend and marries her. End of history.

ICEman v Iceman. Iceman's new boyfriend turns out to be a illegal immigrant. Watch as he beats up the AmeriCops, rebranded as the Iceman

Iceman brings back the poles. Iceman refreezes the polar Ice Caps. But in the process awakens a ancient foe waiting for the planet to get cold enough, long enough for his return.

Iceman loves Iceman. Both Iceman bounce around relationships, both unable to find the one. But then through a blind date app, they get matched and think they found the perfect one for them. Until it turns out to be each other. Oh boy.

Okay this sounds fucking hilarious.

Also it should have the Iceman on the cover like pic related. The dialogue will need to be changed, but still recognisable.

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Iceman is dating a frosty the snowguy.

Easy, it's never mentioned since the book isn't about his sexuality.

Instead, it would focus on Bobby running solo, and developing from a rich kid goof off to taking his powers and life more seriously in order to deal with increasing threats. Instead of ice walls, throwing icicles and surfing on ice, he starts to learn to focus his cooling powers at different intensities, finding ways to arrange ice to change it's structural properties, and generally taking a more scientific approach to his powers rather than just doing the same old same old.

And if it really needs to be Nightmare mode, it starts off with Bobby in a happy relationship with some nice gay guy, but over time as Bobby starts to change he grows distant and eventually they split up. As he becomes more serious and skilled in his powers, he also becomes colder in relationships, and eventually stays to one night stands.

>Easy, it's never mentioned since the book isn't about his sexuality.

That's a horseshit double standard, though. A dude can fuck as many women as he wants on a comic and his fine, but a gay dude even sneezes near another guy and we get a wave of "UGH DOES IT HAVE TO BE ALL ABOUT HIM BEING GAY FUCKING LIBERALS."

You could do the same thing if he was straight, it would be an improvement either way. Change guy to woman in the second paragraph, it's still the same story.

Iceman saves Cyclops

Iceman shits ice cubes

Then I make him straight.

This

I'd wager that's The bizarro version of Gail Simone.

Get hetero Bobby from another dimension, make him stay and call him Vanilla Ice

The comic is now a two-Bobby team book

And it's a horseshit double standard that men are still in skin tight cheese cake outfits now and women are all prudes.

Which is why there is so much resentment towards sexuality being so important to faggots and women of sexuality can't even be eluded to when it's not gay.

Iceman Fucks the (male) Marvel Universe

Also pretty much no male superheroes get pussy anymore.

He just sucks dicks for eight issues. But not just random dicks, the dicks of other Marvel characters. And not just gay ones. Straight men. Married men. Bobby sucks em dry and they find themselves loving it. Bobby even gets a little group action going with the Avengers guts and they get a little rough with him, which Bobby loves.

Issue nine is Bobby now has AIDS. Not even HIV. AIDS. Cue two issues of Bobby getting worse and people being sad and him dealing with the drama of having AIDS, and then issue twelve is Bobby using his ice powers to fight an anthropomorphic version of his own AIDS, a battle which he wins and returns it to a manageable form of HIV while Professor Whoever tells Bobby he's close to finding a full on cure, but Bobby just has to keeping on fightin' that AIDS until then.

Then I just sit back and let the awards roll in.

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My old idea

Plot:

>Iceman buys an ice-cream truck which he calls the ICEVAN and travels around the country selling ice-cream, battling villains and solving droughts and shit with his Inhuman boyfriend Romeo. Series ends abruptly when Northstar is punched into the Earth at a substantial portion of lightspeed and totals the van. Bobby never speaks to him again.

Snapshots:

>Hel is overheating, so the Norns team up with a pagan Neo-Nazi group in an attempt to kill Bobby and send him to the Viking underworld so he can keep it eternally frosty

>The ICEVAN's freezer unit becomes possessed by the ghost of Jack Chick

>Bobby gets into a fight with a drought-causing mutant in Texas but freezing all the nearby water accidentally breaks the already-overloaded storm drain system. Can he possibly raise enough money to fund the necessary repairs only through selling ice cream? And can he do it while Kaine Parker, the Scarlet Spider, *also* needs to sell ice-cream to raise money for his own charity cause?

>Bobby's powers are being leached through time by a mysterious time traveler to cause the 1936 North American cold wave

>Bobby signs an advertising contract for a beer company marketed on having "a cold one". The campaign is phenomenally successfully and he goes mad seeing his face everywhere every second of the day and has to figure out how to void the contract through industrial sabotage

>Romeo stars as Romeo in an amdram performance of the Shakespeare play, but something strange is happening that drives him to act more and more like an authentic 16th century Italian bravo

>Iceman finds himself being hunted by Abominable Snowwomen

>Bobby teams up with Wiccan and Hulking to prevent a cluster of meteors hitting the Earth but while having a celebratory drink afterwards Iceman makes a faux pas and says something that causes them to split. Forever, no takebacks

there are onlu 2 options

-acknowledge he is gay, but ignore it and dont make it a plot point

-make him a cum sucking pig slut