Why aren't you hygienic?

Why don't you have a bidet in your house? Why do you live like a filthy animal? It will both save you hundreds of dollars a year and will only cost you $30.

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using cold water?

>Leaf

If you really want to hose your bunghole or nads, install a detachable showerhead for those times you need it.

Mine has a heater.

That's unhygienic. That wand would be super dirty.

What kind?

LINK GOOD BIDETS TO BUY FAGGOT!

I do use regular toilet paper and finish with a flushable wet wipe. I try not to dump anywhere but at home now. I need that last wet wipe. Even when you think it was a dry solid shit, you'll still find a little color on the wet wipe. You won't regret using them.

I'd rather not have a jet of water shoot up my ass

I do it's called a shower head.

check them numbers, Canada

Yes im a nigger, but at least i have a clean asshole not like you americunts.

Cannot believe how can you live scrubbing your asshole away with tons of toilet paper

>only dumping at home
pooping in public restrooms is a life skill that really should be taught in school

Now that is the truth. The courtesy flush is a thing.

Chec ked.

>shit in toilet.
> shitty toilet water shoots back into your ass.
>now ass it wet and you have to put clothes back on.

wowww great technology there.

Poo mixed with water splashing on floor. Hygienic.

idk, it feels like it would get poop water running down your ass cheeks, seems kinda gross.

>current year
>not collecting your piss and frying it

wkow.com/story/32509329/2016/07/Friday/strong-smell-of-cooked-urine-prompts-apartment-evacuation

Flushable wet wipes don't dissolve like tp and flush like paper towels. Those things keep turd wranglers busy 24/7.

Because I don't want it splashing shit water all over myself and the toilet. I am a civilized being and therefore shower after I shit.
I am also civilized enough to not eat meat.

It uses potable water from your angle stop. There's not shitty water going at you.

>toilet has bidet
>someone takes a shit
>it sprays their ass
>shit flies back and lands on the bidet
>you use toilet
>it shoots the other persons shit into your asshole

So how do you dry off your ass after the spray is done blasting the shit off it? Do you have an ass towel by the toilet? Do you use the same paper as we do? Do you just pull up your pants and walk around with a wet asscrack for the next ten minutes?

Use your moms guest towels.

Yeah but as soon as it hits your ass it'll make shit bacteria fly all over.
>Do you just pull up your pants and walk around with a wet asscrack for the next ten minutes?
lol

The real reason why americans dont use the bidet is because early Americans hated the frivolous french lifestyle and associated bidets with brothel houses because thats were ww1 soldiers first saw them. also they used to involve the hand and toilet paper leaves a shield between the hand and poop. the first toilet flush scene wasn't even shown on american tv until the 60s. modern bidets are embarrassing bc it comes of ass lazy and an old person thing.

If I need to get my ass extra clean I just use a wet wipe

if you are eating a healthy diet, your ass will come out clean every time after pooping

bidet isn't necessary. toilet paper usage minimum.

>his diet and digestive cycles aren't synchronized so he always shits right before his morning shower

If you don't do this, you are subhuman.

Yea, thats filthy
I hate biology

How do you recognize the ass towel?
Say I'm visiting Eurostan for some reason, do I need to sniff the towels before using them? Is there a traditional location for the ass towel?

>wasting money on paper or utilities

you have two perfect hygiene dispensers on the end of you arms.

>wanting the equivalent of a money shot launched onto your asshole
You're fucking gay

No bidet. Simply putting my leg over the sink and half-sitting on it while rinsig my ass with soap and water. :/ Doing that after every poop. I dont poop outside of home - Id feel filthy.

I shit 3 times every third day, come at me bro.

I don't want to try to convince the other residents of my group cuck housing to let me install one

>he doesent wash his ass in the shower

>durr im too stupid to breath through my mouth
Ill shit however i want to, bitchboy.

checked
yeah, pretty much that, I usually get the toilet paper wet for a pseudo wetwipe.

Having water up your ass is the first step to a dick

i already use enema

...

Seriously though....

I have a shower right there next to it. Why would I have my toilet spray my ass when my shower can?

>wanting to have your asshole tickled
>i-it's for hygiene guys...i swear..

>he inhales airborne decomposing shit directly into his body instead of using the filtration build into the human nose and putting up with a smell for 5 seconds before you get used to it
sounds like you're the bitchboy

I kek'd

Japan has actually been buying up American toilet companies.

Sup Forums didn't notice but I won't be surprised if bidets started slowly becoming mainstream in America because Japan didn't buy those American toilet companies just to do nothing.

How's that shit taste tho

this
i never questioned the instinct to continue to breathe through the nose when you smell something atrocious
i guess that is how noroviruses are spread

Are you stupid? You use the dryer feature.
youtube.com/watch?v=Rvb3qUtRFxk

I wouldn't mind one. They're just not conveniently available in my country.

A real man doesn't let any solid or liquid substance into his asshole.

>Those things keep turd wranglers busy 24/7.

my poop is creating jobs! seriously though, bulk baby wipes from BJs for like $20 for 1000 wipes. i keep travel baby wipes in my desk at work and in my truck in case im out and i have to shit. theres nothing worse than being out and having to shit in a nasty bathroom in public and smearing shit all over your ass crack and then walking around with an itchy bunghole all night.