Hi, I drew this comic and I am thinking of redrawing the second panel

Hi, I drew this comic and I am thinking of redrawing the second panel.
Opinion?

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on 2nd panel the guy on the right could push the other out of his little circle with a sign that says " my town " outside

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In my idea they are supposed to be in love and planning a future. Is that stupid or did I do a bad job conveying it?

Honestly, the joke is pretty bland.

That didn't come across to me at all,i just thought it was a subversion of the western trope where that phrase leads to a duel.

Honestly it's a pretty funny anti-joke that way, I chuckled. Kind of niche though, basically Webcomic-name style humor

How could I convey that more clearly when I redraw the second panel? Thank you for your input.

Keep going and making new shit. Don't get too bogged down on this that you lose the chance to make 3 more..

I'd add some decorations like strings of cans to the back of the wagon to sell the "just married"

I understood the joke

I think the last panel is good it's cute with his head poking out of the wagon

I think for the second panel you should make the cowboy waving goodbye facing front so that you can see his face. It would make the joke a lot clearer.

Okay I drew some cans. How is it?

Thank you. I might draw the wagon from a different perspective though to make it more obvious

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Do you think this is a better angle?

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Didn't come across to me one bit, what I took from that was the guy on the right not giving a fuck because he can just go to a bigger town since it's not worth getting shot.

yes

Yes, because you can actually see his expression better. The back view in the original means you're pushing the focal point to...some vague point on the wagon.

Better. It draws attention to the "just married" part, which is your entire punchline. Ideally, you should be able to show it to someone who doesn't know english, and the joke still should work.

.

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Make the Loco Bandito appear.

I got it. Maybe make it more obvious that it's the black mustached guy in the "just married" wagon

Then there's 3 of them and it doesn't work

if there's not enough room for the two of them how could there possibly be room for the three of them?

I can't remember who made it, but I've seen this joke done before.
The town in the webcomic strip I saw had a very miniature town with one of them saying "guess we built it too small" and the end joke was they were gay and married to one another.

That being said it's still a fun joke and glad to see more strips of it.

That's why they're leaving the town.
Because it's not big enough.

finished the comic

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goode

Much improved. Keep pushing forward.

Much-a better OP.
Give them some dogs
And maybe a gimp suit
Or a sex swing in the wagon.
Typical gay stuff

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