Let's suppose you were hired by DC to write one of the Batman books. However, in your heart of hearts...

Let's suppose you were hired by DC to write one of the Batman books. However, in your heart of hearts, you were something of a double agent. You had hated Batman for years, and actively despised him now. But after some initial reluctance, you realized that your newfound position afforded you an opportunity to wreak your vengeance upon the object of your disdain. As a Batman writer, you could destroy Batman, or at least severely weaken the character.

How would you do it? How might a Batman writer go about actively sabotaging Batman as a character? Is there a blueprint? Hypothetically, of course.

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Hasn't that been the past couple Batman writers in recent years?

Well if we follow Sup Forums's guidelines to terrible characters, it's really easy:

>Selina has an affair with Jason Todd, reveals that Bruce is a dicklet.

I'd make him a pathetic shell of a human being who's nothing without his caped persona, then I'd marry him to Catwoman.

Is there really any point when future writers will either just ignore your contributions or retcon them away?

>In retaliation, Bruce has an affair with Barbara
>who also confirms he's a dicklet

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Is King /ourguy/?

systematically point out how each of his kids and other side characters have done what he does without his baggage and prejudices, and has managed to do it more efficiently and effectively. he's not the best fighter, he's not the smartest detective, he doesn't have the most money or best gadgets.

everyone's used his legacy and his start to do what he does, but better, and there are a lot more of them. he's obsolete.

>he's not the best fighter, he's not the smartest detective, he doesn't have the most money or best gadgets.
Aside from the detective thing, Batman has never been lauded as the best in those things. You are stupid.

>all the Robins abandon him because reasons
>earthquake beneath the mansion destroy the fancy batcave stuff
>Alfred gets hit by a car and is in a com a for the whole run
>Joker somehow discovers Joe Chill killed Batman's parents
>zany scheme where Batman has to kill Joe Chill or Joker will suicide
>Batman doesn't kill Chill so Joker suicides but then Chill has a heart attack
>Cass becomes a LoA member

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JOHNS DOESN'T HATE BATMAN
He hates BatGOD and grim asshole Batman

He dislikes what Batman has become and prefers the Bronze Age Batman, who was dark, but still nice to people, and who couldn't magically science and keikaku his way past any conflict

>>Batman doesn't kill Chill so Joker suicides but then Chill has a heart attack
Kek

This already happened buddy, look up who designed the Azbats costume right before going Marvel Exclusive

i would make it canon that he really gets his more super-humanly attributes from being in close proximity to other supers like green lantern or superman. his real power is leeching power from those other supers

>Supervillain is robbing labs of parts to build a time machine.
>Batman and Robin track him down to his lair, villain reveals his plan. He's going to show Thomas and Martha what their son becomes.
>Thomas and Martha show up, are very disappointed in Bruce
>Bruce shuts down machine, tells Robin the machine never worked, those were fake holograms
>Bruce is brooding in his cave later, reveal he was lying to Robin, his parents really are disappointed in him

Bruce gets raped by the Joker and likes it
Criminals all over Gotham now know that the Bat had his cheeks taken and is labeled a punk
Batman loses fear as a weapon since no one respects let alone fears a punk

>You had hated Batman for years, and actively despised him now
Now this is a thread I can get behind!

Downplay batgod prep, have metahumans be a real problem for him, have him mention how many times his anti-Superman plans have failed (which is every time). Have Batman *aspire* to the role fanboys see him in, rather than smugly already being there. Have the Joker hit the gym so he can fake being Batman, make a fake costume, then trick Selina into thinking it's just another rooftop fuck, only for her to get pregnant and she wants to keep it. Make it clear Joker did in fact rape Barbara. Have Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, etc visit for various reasons, only for them to casually capture a few villains on their way out of town.

Batman was adopted.

Make him more manipulative and emotionally abusive
make him seem more like a villain

ITT; Anons with shit ideas but that will complain in every King/Snyder thread.

I wouldn't mind seeing Flash take on a couple of Batman rogues and have the story play up his role as a forensic scientist.

This. The Batman is hight tier in practically everything, while not being the best, but his other traits make even the greatest of his enemies tremble.

>Image related

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I literally can't do anything worse than what Scott Snyder has done. I honestly never believed the Batman mythos could be permanently damaged until he proved me wrong, and everyone worships him for doing it. I'm in a fucking madhouse.

>work for the CIA for a few years to pick up the proper skills I need for this task
>slowly establish myself as a pretty cool guy with a half dozen well reviewed titles for DC Marvel and other companies no one cares about
>barter with DC eventually getting a sweet contract to write 100 issues of the Batman Rebirth title
>take my time to slowly bleed the series away while I enjoy my time watching the fan base eat itself alive
If I were a King this would be my plan

>Bunch of villains break out of Arkham and Blackgate and start running amok in Gotham
>Batman spends the next couple of days rounding them all up, the grind slowly beginning to wear him down leading to him growing increasingly violent and hostile towards the crooks and their goons
>Breaking spines, ribcages, brutally I might add, not the whole intimidation tactic shtick , but literally guys in wheelchairs for the rest for their life after the beating they all took
>Guys weren't even doing anything particularly dangerous, just hired goons off the street
>Alienates the GCPD and the Batmfamily as Batman slowly grows more violent and less tolerable towards criminals
>This alienation infuriates him further and he continues his downward spiral, represented thematically with his continued violent attacks and visually, growing more monstrous proportioned with excess weapons and armour strapped to his figure ala The Dark Knight Returns
>As the run goes on he's constantlyr reminded by colleagues and other heroes that this behavior is the reason this cycle of violence exists in Gotham. Batman is just lashing out at the chaos, not actively attempting to rehabilitate the villains or help improve Gotham
>Superman intervenes and tries to reconcile with his friend after everyone else has left him. He tries reasoning with him to try and abandon the Batman persona and try and do better as Bruce Wayne. Batman responds by challenging Supes to a duel
>Later Superman battles a huge monstrous batman power armour piloted by Bruce. After a tense battle, Batman beats him, before realising he was fighting a Superman robot the whole time
>The real Superman comes in and with a single push, strips away the armour and breaks much of Batman's body, leaving only a crippled, crying Bruce lying in the wreckage
>Superman gives him a final "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" speech to his friend and flies away.

You don't need our help, Tom. You're doing just fine on your own.

Do what pic related did to Spidey.

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Kill off Bruce and make pic related Batman.

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So basically just TDKR set in the current timeline, but at the end Superman wins and gives a monologue, and maybe cut out the whole government service shit?

I really like how they dislike each other and don't take each other's shit. One of my favorite League dynamics

Pretty much. That Batman worked because the world he was in was a shithole and while his decline was tragic and horrifying to see, in the end he was the better option for the world going forward opposed to the dystopian government in control. This story would have Batman's action be explicitly painted as bad and easily avoidable considering the world is fairly okay and Superman isn't a government lackey and still helps people.

Showcase how his distrust and general asshole behaviour creates problems and makes him more ineffective. Villains getting away because he doesn't trust other heroes, missions dragging out and causing undue suffering because he wants to do everything his way.

Show him losing and being proven wrong without a "ha he was actually right all along" moment. Have people stand up to him and question his decisions and behaviour.

Basically, as a comic writer you can't, because >comics.
The only course of action you can take is to write the best book you can and to fix aspects you hate.
Batfans will be pissed off whatever you write btw.

You mean the current Tec run?

This sounds exactly how he's been written ever since Dixon.

>you were hired by DC to write one of the Batman books
>it's Batman '66

>Wayne enterprises shuts down entirely
>bruce utilising millions of company dollars on private stuff has left it worthless
>Gotham struggles to fill in the economic void as hundreds of jobless workers turn to crime
>Some blame bruce for the loss of jobs, they torch his home
>Batcave is destroyed.
>No funds for gadgets and resources for batwank

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They don't, they actually really like one another. I'd say after Clark and Barry they're the closest in the league.

This is the thread about destroying Batman and not making something interesting with him.

I'd probably seek out counseling before I let my animosity towards a fictional character impede my professional and artistic work. Having a god complex isn't healthy

I'd read it, I mean Batman having to budget his equipment in order to function. Like he has to not crash his batmobile every 15 minutes or picks up all his thrown batarangs,etc.

I’d sabotage the Batgod and try to write a good Batman with lots of hooks to let other writers keep my Batman alive and the bullshit one dead.

And then fucking Bendis would totally ignore everything I did and bring (black) Batgod (female) back.

>batmobile
You mean a bicycle.

Bat-pedicab.

I think you mean the bat-wheel, friend.

Bat-skateboard. Is there a comic with budget Batman?

No but a low budget batman would limit the bullshit considerably

He admits Cass would beat him if she wanted to. Jason will kill if he has to which would make him better in a different sense. Damian will probably be better when he's older.

Dick is the one who's really got shit on. He's just there now. His series sucks and he's lost anything to make him unique

I mean Ultimate Ironman kinda pulled it off during Armor wars where Tony was running out of funds till he was on his last billion.

This. And when it comes to ruining batman I'd say they're some of the best ever.

When he gets off batman or offs himself.

Have numerous characters Highlight Batman is a grown ass man still crying over having no parents to liven his existence and is pretty much a overgrown emo teen because of it.

That's the first thing to do, when you consider that Superman and Aquaman have been orphans and pretty much are the last of their line, Batman is not cool compared to them

You should stay far far far the fuck away from batman until you read more. Snyder and Miller are not a good mixture of inspiration. The latter knew what he was doing the former just apes shit from everyone with no consideration of the reasoning, like you seem as if you'd do.

Even fan fic from people like you should be avoided.

Go read that terrible White Knight story. Seems like it's right up your batman hatin alley.

You expected a thread of people who've read batman? Most of the people ITT don't seem to know who he is as a character beyond memes. Much like his current writers.

No a writer had him "admit" that. Any writer who actually likes batman firmly places him at the top of his own "family". Just like the writers who put wondy on supermans level cause of "muh training."

Cast Ben Affleck as Batman and have him be a murderer in the vein of The Shadow in one movie and then have him be Silver Age in the next

Hi James, you fat fuck.

Batman decides to get rid of what he considers the sources of his villain's traumas, but in the end he just shows his complete misunderstanding of mental health.

He decryos Nora Fries
He shatters Two Faces coin and forcibly plastic surgeries his face
The Riddler, he places in a never ending simulation against Batman's mind. Essentially stuck on a chair until he dies.
Then Joker. He decides the source is Batman, so he shoots himself.

The end.

honestly, it would be the Dark Knight Returns

Break the fan imposed rules.

>Have him shoot guns, make him glorify it like some 90s Liefeld character.
>Have him kill criminals, Joker second.
>double down and confirm the pederasty rumors that he had between Batman and Robin
>Include a bunch of random equipment for toy tie-ins, like the Bat Toboggan, Bat Skis, Bat Jungle Camo suit, whatever
>Have him smile, laugh, and be happy all the time
>Bruce Wayne goes to psychological therapy, helps him overcome the childhood trauma
>Bat suit is altered to no longer be bullet proof. He wants more movement
>1000% more visible bright yellow pouches
>have him be wrong, accidentally kill innocents
>follows the wrong leads during his detective bits
>Bat computer takes weeks to analyze DNA, cloth samples, and other forensic stuff for the sake of realism.
>retcon him into being meta-human (although I'm under the impression that's already been made the case)
>through psychic shenanigans, he's been made to forget the details of seeing his parents die in crime alley

Reminds me of people who lived for their work. Guys who have no personal life and blame coworkers for not having the same level of dedication to work as them.
Some people have a life beside work. I'm not sure Bruce really has. Even his girlfriend is from work.

Oh yeah, and Batman hits a person in the face with glasses on.

I'd be willing to believe that except I've read Batman Earth One

>He dislikes what Batman has become and prefers the Bronze Age Batman,


He doesnt and he didnt read or liked batman growing up, the only batman he likes comes from CARTOONS. Johns hates batman and you are a moron and you have never touched bronze age batman, for fucks sake bronze age batman could stop swords with his palm and close his wounds by using chi.

No, this is a thread for batman haters and there's nothing wrong with that.

Bruce's father is really alive and was really a super evil criminal who went out of his way to make Bruce Batman. He was the guy who threw a bat through Bruce's window and gave him that push to become a vigilante

This shit is so dumb it would HAVE to ruin Batman

His argument is so retarded, the thing is that he knows it. He always spam the same shit and ignores that batman fans love nolan, mask of the phantasm, year one and legends of the dark knight.

>Batman doesn't kill Chill so Joker suicides but then Chill has a heart attack
This can't be real

Superman wins at the end of TDKR

Why the fuck does everyone act like he got his ass beat? Bruce faked a heart attack and Superman didn't want to kill his friend

Batman repeatedly gets knocked out on the first page and the rest of the issue is Batwoman, Red Robin, Not Robin (the black kid), Batgirl, and whomever else Loner Bruce isn't surrounding himself with in the most recent runs figuring out who punched Batdude, why, and having an intervention at their home until they promised not to do it Batgod again.

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I would say Hal and Barry are closer; Bruce not being friends with people is (a) fan fiction that (b) was made worse by the Nolanverse and primarily Nolan's hard-on for Batman existing by himself with Fox and Pennyworth really just being gofers for him (which is why, even with much less screen time, Iron's current Alfred is far superior) and likewise (c) Bruce Timm batwankfest cartoons giving people the idea that Bruce was a brainiac AND didn't really need anyone, be it Tim, Alfred, or the League.

>Superman some how gets into an orgy with Selina, Talia, and Zatanna. They all confirm Bruce is a dicklet and reveal that they only put up with him out of pity. Now those three are tied to Supes

I meant to say After Clark (Bruce) and Barry (Hal) Bruce and Hal are the closest ones in the League, I'd say Bruce and Diana but then they just want to bone.

Make Batman accidentally kill the Joker and cry about it every issue. While doing this, he admits he's not sure what he felt for The Joker and may be gay. Selina tells him sexuality isn't fluid and reveals to him the world is diverse now with so many genders.

After a heart to heart with Dick, where Dick confronts Batman about his sexuality, Batman realizes he's trans.

Batman goes out as a trans hero for the first time, facing off against Poison Ivy, who calls him sexy. Batman smiles and decides to let her go.

Alfred starts a Tumblr blog to document Bruce's transition for him. Jason is revealed as transphobic and there's a long drama arc of him aligning with Black Mask to take out the " The Bat-Tranny".

Meanwhile, it's revealed Joker is alive. There's a threesome with Bruce ( now called Brandy), Selina and the Joker. It's graphic and is one of the most progressive moments in comics.

Then Tim finds out Batman was infected with a virus developed by the CIA to turn men gay and trans. Batman refuses to believe it until Waller confirms its true.

Selina is disgusted and decides to return to crime, working for the Koch Brothers. Then, Batman reverses his transition, causing Dick to commit suicide out of shame at having come out.

It's revealed Dick is still alive, but has been given the same virus Batman has, except in an extremely strong dose. Dick becomes extremely flamboyant and in a sex-frenzy rapes Damian.

Batman hunts down and beats Dick Brutally, sprinkling the last of his glitter on his battered body.

Alfred records all this and decides the Patriarchy is to blame. Patriarchy is revealed as a propaganda artist within the government..it turns out there was no virus...Batman was transferred for real!

At the news, Selina returns, pegging Batman while he asks to be treated like a beta bat bitch boy. We see Damian watching through a crack in the door, visibly aroused.

Alfred hosts an intervention and everyone comes to terms with their sexuality.

It's so sad, martian manhunter gor fucked hard by johns. Now Bruce relationship with the outsiders will go to shit too.

Well didn't Metals confirm that Bruce did form the outsiders?

Batman finds out that he was shot at crime alley. As it turns out, he got hit in the head which caused him to misremember the truth. His parents actually tried to kill each other for their life insurance but they both missed and shot Bruce. Both of them are actually alive in arkham under a pseudonym.
Bruce then hangs himself out of depression and the Riddler decides to become batman because fuck it. His Robin is a young clone of Bane