If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Hard mode: make up a useless and/or impractical one.

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Superspeed. Outside of helping myself I'd use it to rescue strays.

I'd want hyper elastic flesh. I'd eat and drink continuously to see how big I could get before I couldn't move and acquire food anymore.

simultaneous apprehension

>having a power
If you weren't born with it, you don't need it.

Wow, I never thought of it that way, doc.

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Is there a power that suppresses want?

Self control

>impractical one.
The power to make anyone who's shitposting in a thread I'm in suddenly shit themselves

That's actually very practical and useful.

>Permanent erection
You can pee fine, blood flows and everything but the magnum dong is always rock-solid.

I can shit on command

even if I have no shit to shit, I can generate shit to shit

Being a Speedster would be OP. Either that, or phasing. I'd rob banks. And jewelry stores, I love seeing something shiny on a woman.

Useless: the ability to nullify reflections.

King of gay tacos

For men: your dick slowly grows in size until you have sex, then it shrinks down to it's original size and the process repeats
For women: applies to your tits and ass

the ability to turn into a girl

t. glasses-wearing, medicine-drinking, teeth-brushing, wisdom-teeth-removing, jacket-wearer.

having people fill out forms/ producing forms that need to be filled out

I'd go by the name of
THE BUREAUCRAT

if your name is going to be "the bureaucrat" your power should be "the power to produce and fill out forms that really need no filling out at all".

That's not useless or impractical, though
That's more like it.

Practical power: Event Manipulation.
Useless power: Controllable vibration, as in I could control which part of my body to vibrate. Would be helpful for messages and burning off excessive fat.

>If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Transformation into an all powerful monster at will
>Hard mode: make up a useless and/or impractical one.
My tongue gets super fat so I can make legit sounding retard voices

Remote viewing both real time and in the past. Makes it easy to black mail people with secrets they thought was safely buried. Though I think I'll end up using it to fap.

Teleportation.

So I can be that faggot from Jumper before Nick Fury starts hounding him.

Telekinesis- I'd use it like those guys in Chronicle but without any apex predator shit

Be an instant expert at every matter or subject I tackle. It would save me so much trouble if I just knew how to do something.

Healing. I'll start a fucking cult, with fucking.

For pure practicality, probably something that allows me to teleport stuff around. Basically I want the mobility of super speed without having to carry shit if I want to bring it with me.

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If I wanted to be OP? Reality warping
If I wanted it to be a fun one I like? Elastic, stretchy body ala plastic man
If I wanted it to be impractical? I can change any see through material to be solid at will

super speed

I always find myself wishing I had more time since I'm so fucking lazy and dont think things through enough

When I was a kid I wanted the power to know where anyone was, by thinking about them. It also let me see what was happening to them. I'm pretty sure I had a dream where I had this ability, more than actually wanting it.

Specifically it was so I could help my friends if anything bad happened to them, but I'm sure it could be twisted into something lewd...

People born without legs, arms, proper immune systems, etc...
> If you weren't born with it, you don't need it.

Yay, one of these threads to come up with ways to use useless powers.

If your goal is to cause people anguish and embarrassment, that is a very useful power.

Maybe useless in a fight, but not useless for getting Goth girl pussy. It's easy to convince a bitch you're a vampire if you've got no reflection.

Controllable vibration is vague. Self vibration is less vague and I assume what you meant. If you can vibrate your hands you can be a spectacular boxer. Add some extra oomph to your punches by vibrating your fists on contact.

Useless in combat, not useless in sex. A big tongue reaches places you couldn't imagine. Gene Simmons was a hit with the ladies you know.

Impractical? That's insanely powerful, nobody could fight you. You could solidify the air in their lungs instantly.

>you could solidify the air in their lungs
Air isn't a material, retard.

>If you weren't born with it, you don't need it.
>user tries to be deep but out's himself as a spastic

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Super/Hyper intelligence, with that I could simply find a way to acquire others.

Useless: Ability to speak to Ecuadorian sea life, but only the sex.

Power of Suggestion.
Basically, mind control for lazy people

Live life on easy mode with that.

>hey, I wanna live in this hotel. Is that cool? Cool
>hey, can you install fiber up here?
>you guys are investigating me? can you stop that?

I'm a reality warper but reality fights back so I only can warp for a subjective minute otherwise reality would kill me. Reality retcons all realitywarping so that a minute after my minute I can't remember my own reality warping.
So I can do anything but change nothing.

IRL save/load system that makes me older by the lenght of every time-skip.

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Telepathy mind control I’d visit prisons and mental institutions and re write fucked up brains for awhile. Eventually cracking and basically becoming a less rapes kilgrave and than just kilgrave. Fuck I better find a nice purple suit.

OP power: shape shifting
Useless power: I've always wanted to slide along the ground like Gumby. So basically perma-roller skates

You can turn invisible
But only while you are wearing cloths that don't turn invisible

Power of the cum Touch ID just use this power to fuck with protesters on both sides. Walk into any protest and make them cum regardless of what they’re protesting about. Why because it was funny.

*While singing a Jamaican-themed tale of your life

I want the ability to control ants and make different forms of ants

The ability to make inanimate objects alive but they can’t act only see and talk to other setiant objects and myself.

Power I want: fall into the ground and fall up somewhere else, with momentum preserved, that I have been before (like a very limited version of teleportation that feels like falling into a trampoline)

Power that's more or less impractical: to be able to fall down and not get hurt

Superspeed.
Not the bullshit magical power of The Flash who can make a few steps faster than everyone.

The ability to run really fast. Like doing the 100m in 5s and needing to run hundreds of meter to reach max speed. When an olympic runner start his run, he's not instantly at max speed.

And that would be highly impractical: the faster you move, the higher your kinetic energy is, which means that every collisions could lead to serious damages for yourself. You can't save people while running because gripping them while running would be the same as tackling them full force.

Still, to run so fast than you could cross the oceans, Siberia, deserts easily could be nice. Just for the scenery.

The power to understand language and manipulate it. I don’t want cosmic powers just to be able to read and write and language and fuck with people by making them speak perfect English when they try to pretend they don’t understand.

SCHOOL ATTENDIN

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We have a retard of immeasurable proportion here. "Air isn't matter." Stupidest thing I've heard all year.

My serious power would be Super/Absolute Luck.

My power for fun would be friction manipulation.

My impractical power would be to fill empty holes thats used to being filled.
>Missing a key for a lock? Fill it.
>Someone won't shut up? Fill it.
>You want to dp your girl but want to do it alone? Fill it.

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My power to complain about anything makes said thing minuscule.

>can turn invisible
>but only if no one is looking at me
>can't look at myself either

That fun power is also great for potholes when driving. You could also easily give people heart attacks with that power fucking scary shit.

Super luck.
I get good grades, everyone likes me, i get a great job, meet good friends and end up banging a hot chick.

Portals except it all works via printed images of myself and I pop out in whatever gear I'm wearing in the image.

For example send a postcard with a picture of myself in full beach wear with a wallet full of cash to hawaii then leap out of the photo a week later wearing those clothes and ready to spend.

Practical: A prehensile dick
Useless: Micro teleportation, a can teleport a sphere of any matter 0.5mm in diameter anywhere I want.

The power to make real tulpas but they are real in every single way, as real as you and me

Stopping time

I think being able to turn into a Killer Croc/The Lizard style reptile man at will would be cool.

I guess a useless power would be being able to stare at the sun without damaging or hurting my eyes.

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Time travel
It triggers to me how much is just lost to time, how there's so much we'll just never really know and that so many stories are colored by the people telling them
Ideally I could also be invisible, intangible, and be able to teleport, then I would be the Watcher and make it my duty to record all of history

Is Superhuman Intelligence cheating? Because I feel like that one's the easy answer.
Failing that, I'd say maybe some sort of instant teleportation, especially if I can teleport others with me. There's a LOT of good and bad that can come from a power like that...

Timestop.

Do easy crimes. Just empty cash registers while the clerk is going into it, shit like that.

Would devices work if time was frozen? Would you be able to interact with the objects around you?

Also, for my useless/weird power: Thought Form, where I can turn myself into thoughts and appear in people's minds. I feel like I could do a lot of good with this, but at the same time it would be entirely up to the person I'm inside whether they take my advice or not.

Infinite amounts of enthusiasm for any task I attempt.

I'm sick of running out of passion halfway through a project

The power to say a bald-faced lie and whoever hears it will 100% believe it even with conflicting evidence right in front of them

Pity you won't be able to use that power online.

All my life I've craved immortality. I do not agree with any of the downsides people bring up.

Not useless carry flash grenades with you everyone’s blinded but you.

Which kind of immortality? The one that keeps you alive as long as you don't do anything stupid, the one that heals your body from any wound no matter how severe, the one that creates new bodies as you die...?
I can only think of one mayor downside of immortality that's going to fuck you over no matter how you feel about life and humanity, but it's only applicable to some kinds of immortality.

Alright enjoy it I guess for me that would suck, sometimes I wanna die. I mean fuck I get bored all the time and feel like I already forgot most of my childhood. Give me infinite time and I’ll never get anything done.

Full on Mr. Immortal style immortality. Nothing can take me out, ever. I haven't given thought to the mechanism since to me its totality is key.

Wouldn't that kind of suck once the Sun becomes a massive red, all the water evaporates, the atmosphere disappears, everything turns into Venus?

Dunno, maybe it is due to my experimentation with hallucinogens but fundamentally inhuman experience does not scare me. Now that you mention it though, whatever my immortality it would require ability to perceive and move about. Ability to interact, preferred but not mandatory.

If you had any idea how eyes worked then you would realize that basically removing reflections from things could make a person blind, or another person/object invisible.
That's actually a really good fucking power with the right mind.

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Telekenisis is a good utility power. Flight, shielding, strength, speed, etc. You could go to Vegas and clean out the casinos at the craps tables or roulette.

SOY CONSUMIN'

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Superstamina and durability, and fast healing (not walverine like, more like spiderma).

Plus, a big cock.

Real answer? Zamasu-style immortality. I wouldn't want to be a superhero or supervillian or anything, but the self-preservation instinct in me says that that's the best power for a boring life away from attention.

An impractical power? The ability to communicate with animals. I guess it'd be neat, but I can't imagine most animals would be good conversationalists.

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Power to heighten someone elses senses.

FAMILY MANNIN

the power to put effort into something

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I didnt get It. The comic.

Useful for avoiding skin cancer.

Too powerful. Next.

>make up a useless and/or impractical one
No one is able to sit down around me.

You can transform into any animal but the closest animal you transformed into turns into you.

But that would be very useful on public transport.

- You can read peoples minds but only while they are aroused.

- You sense when a dog is about to sneeze.

- You can turn invisible but you're screaming in pain while doing so.

- Change a tv channel by ripping out a pube.

- Gain someone's memories by eating every piece of their body.

The power to make SJWs disappear from the comics, game and movie industries

Duplicate Self powers. So much I could do with unlimited labor.

Assuming humanity doesn’t kill itself off, wouldn’t we move to mars, and eventually the moons of the gas giants, a long time before then?

Immortality.
>b-b-b-but you can do ANYTHI-
Yeah, if I had the motivation to do anything. I barely eat and mostly sleep in my free time. Now, if that immortality came with some actual motivation and conviction, then sure, it'd be damn useful.

The ability to focus on and see perfectly any object at any distance but every time you look at something further away than the last object you looked at your eyes stay focused at that range until you get close enough to touch it so that your vision "resets" to normal.

The ability to materialize any cartoon,video game, or other various entertainment media into my hands.

I don't really want much to be honest.

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I think she fucked the cat

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>ends up thinking about your crush
>end up spying on her for the entire day out of sheer curiosity and perversion.
>completely forget that you were supposed to use your power for helping others

The ability to summon both realistic and unrealistic fish sculptures