I am the sole reason that both Brexit and the election of Donald J. Trump succeeded. I this thread, I will take your questions.
Allow me to explain:
On the eve of Brexit. As I was counting down the hours, I realised that in almost just 24 hours time, we'd have decided whether we will leave or remain in the European Union. Upon this realisation, I took an oath. An oath of celibacy for those 24 hours. An oath that if I broke, Brexit would surely lose. It was hard, just about the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But I did it, not only for queen, but also for the country that I love. Fate rewarded my struggle, and come morning the result was confirmed: We had voted to leave the European Union.
Vowing to never use this power for evil, the next time I decided to try it out again was on the night of US Presidential election. Again, for 24 hours I committed myself to celibacy. Another hard, torturous struggle but I managed to pull through. In the morning, my efforts were again rewarded.
Do not fear me, know that I am on your side. Know that I will never use my power for evil. In this thread you will have the rare opportunity to speak to someone in this world who is truly gifted, use it well.
Wow this guy didn't touch himself for a few hours. Nice.
Aiden Barnes
Mate if you're gonna larp at least make it believeable.
Aaron Foster
Thanks I guess
Jaxson Martinez
fucking larpers
Samuel Stewart
>Again, for 24 hours I committed myself to celibacy.
Ha-ha-ha, I've been celibate my whole life - jokes on u
Ian Morgan
You got all that for 24 hours?
Man, I should've asked for something years ago!
Angel Lopez
Do you suck dicks?
Justin Rogers
You don't mean it. Trump and Brexit are not decided just in 24 hours. It's a result of campaign and overall dirt.
Like here on Sup Forums, they were assuming their moloch Kek while counting votes - but in that time, it was already all cast... Quite vain struggle that late.
Also - 24-hour celibacy is a joke...?
Noah Sullivan
Who is the semen demon you posted?
Mason Nelson
Have you thought to see a therapist for your delusions?
Benjamin James
>oath of celibacy for 24 hours
wow so brave
Brayden Baker
I've been celibate since April so go fuck yourself. And I was a sex addict. Youre just pitiful
Noah Jackson
Is this that bitch who killed her little sister in Walking Dead?
Jack Brooks
Can you tell me something about your eyes?
Daniel Murphy
>none of this was a problem for me, naturally, because i never get laid anyway -OP
Charles Ward
Fuck I'm having a REALLY HARD TRIP on mescaline rn.
Robert Rodriguez
>british humor
Noah Anderson
>1 post by this ID Thanks for still being a fag OP
Sebastian Young
Spawn of kek?
Dominic Richardson
Please dont be a kike fampi
Grayson Lee
Can I violate your vagina?
Kevin Johnson
OP is talking shit I embarked on a wank-a-thon where I masturbated non stop for 24 hours leading up to both votes. It was I who was responsible.
Aaron Peterson
Your mom did it, it was the schills and the trolls responsible for the world events.
Jaxon Peterson
Is that then retard from Walking Dead who fed her sister to zombies?
Evan Long
Impossible, because the US election was decided based on the game of OpenRA I was playing at the time.
Adrian Lopez
>slovakia posts this like evry thread Feelsbadman
Gabriel Ward
Look at this class S narsaccist. Go away faggot try correcting the record in your mom's basement
Josiah Thomas
>Impersonating kek This is HERESY
Eli Cook
Don't listen to this lier, this deciever.
It was in fact, I who was behind the election of Mr. Trump to the office of President, and it was me who was behind his defeat over Hilary, not the millions of voters, their votes didn't do anything they just think they did.
For you see 3 days before the 8th I took a pledge of Nofap and Noporn, and it was a hard and arduous struggle, by the night of the 8th my loins were ready to burst, the constant stream of information showing Trumps ever growing lead over Clinton made my member grow ever taller and stiffer, by the wee hours of 4am of the 9th day I knew then victory was assured, his candidacy was confirmed and I overwhelmed by sexual energy and loosh unleashed an orgasm to rival that of any other, having spent myself empty of sexual magickal energy I retreated to bed, knowing I have done my duty, for it was my absitenence alone that held the fate of this nation.
You're welcome, America.
Parker Jackson
Ironic
>Sup Forums IS one person
Colton Russell
>Is that you?
Brayden Morgan
>knowing I have done my duty, for it was my absitenence alone that held the fate of this nation. >You're welcome, America.
When men give up masturbation for the sake of their nations, it's like a powerful prayer, and God hears it.
Or perhaps he's just relieved a bit that his sons aren't fapping to anime for a change. But now we're counting angels dancing on the head of a pin.
Believe.
Xavier Bell
Gross but funny I suppose.
Bribri
Yes.
Leo Edwards
>I am the sole reason that both Brexit and the election of Donald J. Trump succeeded.
But it's true, you know.
They admit as much.
Luke Gray
Actually, I'm the reason why brexit and Trump succeeded, because I voted for both of them. Get out faggot
Julian Richardson
That's fine. Believe whatever you like.
Not even 1% Jewish.
Yes but there are far more important before you right now.
Chase Robinson
Thank you, for your service Sir Bong.
Hunter Cooper
thank you my friend surely your powers will be important in the coming meme wars, magicians will be highly sought after
Tyler Moore
Why'd you have to stab your sister.
Go look at the flowers.
Cameron Wilson
Wrong, I'm the sole reason that both Brexit and the election of God Emperor Donald J. Trump succeeded. Don't ask me nothing.