Wake up. Look out the window

Wake up. Look out the window

>See this

What do?

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Wonder how I ended up next to the ocean.

...

Suit up

show them my big scottish arse

Leave 2 lanterns in a tower. Watch them get annihilated by Hicks.

Laugh as one submarine and a destroyer wipe out the entire fleet in less than 5 minutes.

911

Wonder how they got to a landlocked country

T H I C C

Being mildly surprised, as I live in the middle of a landlocked country.

Put the kettle on, Nigel and our allies have made a long voyage.

Holy fuck we're finally not landlocked anymore

What the fuck are the british doing in california with 17th century galleons? Beach party?

Treacherous identity less scum.

I answer to Jesus not your faggot monarchy.

DIE BITCH

Swear alliance with lizzy

These
This.

Better wake up the Kraken!

You know what sailors are like: rum, sodomy and the lash. California would be a home from home.

Say to myself "Vegas has a coast now? Dafuq?"

>Wake up, look outside
>British flagships flanked by galleons
>happening.exe
>Go to closet, grab AR
>Rush through the house, locking doors/barring windows
>Head to kitchen
>No time for pie
>Set up in a forward-facing window
>Wait to see combatants
>Wait...
>Someone's already on the front lawn?
>Some goofy looking guy with glasses strolling around
>Yell at him to get inside
>He walks over as the ships begin to land
>The ships hit land and tilt over, lanterns setting the wrecks ablaze
>What
>Look at this guy with the biggest shit-eating grin
>He asks "Why do male deer need braces?"
>Stare at him as the ships on fire collapse into an inferno
>"Because they have buck teeth."
>I reply with "Goddammit Mike, get out of here."

Toss my cigarette overboard while chuckling. Head inside and wait for the Office of the Watch to call General Quarters. Man my battle station and listen for the sound of the fifty cals and Phalanx system chew a bunch of limey ships to splinters.

Nothing personal, kid.

...

Look at my pocket constitution to confirm 1776 is commencing once again.

>Those Sails
>Not the proper Ensign

Not aesthetic at all

>Defeat the Royal Navy
>Write the Star Spangled Banner
>Trigger Colin Kaepernick 204 years later

Call Georgia Washington

>Accept that the experiment is at an end
>God save the queen
>stop brushing my teeth

Pray to Felipe II and start the construction of a new Armada Invencible i think

>naval ships

its 2016 you fucking muppets

Call George Washington

HEIL

It's as easy as that

Laugh and capture their ships with my lads from the cavalry

> We finally have sea access and the brits have sent their deligation to concratulate us on conquering Germany.

>I answer to Jesus not your faggot monarchy.
>the monarch derives power to rule from God
Well fucking done mate.

Ask them if they want a cuppa.

You can't capture looking backwards.

Make Canada British Again.

time to BEAR ARMS

throw tea in the sea

Get on my horse and ride to concord telling the minute men that the redcoats are marching on the armory

...

Now, I will capture them and burn them.

FUCKING FRENCH FAGGOTS! REEEEEEEEEE

I'd probably ask myself how the fuck I ended up in an animated cartoon. I guess meme magic really is real

I will fight satan because im flawed. I'm not Jesus.

what has that to do with dwarves?

Well I live 400km off the nearest coast so I'd be really surprised.

>Americans aren't British
Then what the heck are you?

But this time listen to the weather lady, PLEASE.

You sure about that cunt?

Laugh, as always.

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I'll see you tyrants at old north bridge

lol

>Habsburg

kek, every time..

pls no bulli

Double Kek

throw some bags of tea at them

Nice image

You should get Croatia back

laugh

>British
>navy

You'd better not

This.

welcome home, dad. i hope you brought good cheese.

my nigga

Call Blas de Lezo then

Probably the worst king not of Spain, but of entire Europe history ever had.

>British navy
That's the Royal Navy to you, son.

Wait for the British army to land and arrest them

FPBP

An ocean? In my desert? Sweet, Cali must have flooded

BEADY EYED ANGLO MANLETS

>see this creaking armada approaching
>get on phone and demand to speak with Boris
>he's not in the office yet, got stuck on a zipline
>no response

I guess it's war then.

Live right by the English Channel,take no action at all apart from a casual handwave.

Still dining out on 17th century victories I see.

You've been a waste of time since -- embarrassingly placed in to the same sentence as Belgium ("Holland and Belgium"). And at least they have Bruges - what do you have these days?!

Is that Richard Hammond?

>land on france
>get sick
makes sence

>What do?
By having an efficient trading system, with more ships, lower freight rates, better financing, and a wider range in quality of manufactured goods to sell. We would simply outtrade you and gain more wealth than you could possibly steal.

If we were heading towards France, all we'd be able to see are 37 year old Afghan children begging us to come on board.

...

Whenever I read his story I somewhat feel sorry for him, but it really is just baffling to think how such a severely retarded man could've been allowed to rule for so long with no resistance.

seriously, why are your men minute?

you had me at burgers!

fuck king george

Go home Tea Niggers, we're full.

OK, well start doing that rather than being the European HQ for Nigerian 419 scammers.

>We would simply outtrade you and gain more wealth than you could possibly steal.
Is that a bet?

>bongs
>winning
>ever

>Being proud of being a minute man
Thus all of your women go and fuck the blacks and your children become cucks. Gotya.
[spoiler]>Supporting Preston[/spoiler]

Shove the USS Constitution ever so aggressively in it's ass

JUST

"so brexit finally went through"

...

Don't kick them out of the mainland this time around.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_invasions_of_the_River_Plate

Salute and offer the seamen my gratitude.

The biggest port of the western world. Pretty much the trade gate to europe.

YES THEYRE COMING BACK!

Good job capturing those sloops.