NEETcucks don't even get paid to poop

>NEETcucks don't even get paid to poop

They're getting paid to do even less, which also includes pooping. You're barking up the wrong tree here.

>only spending 10 minutes

>tfw getting paid regardless of what I do or where

Someone copy pasy #democrats2020

onto this bullshit

>doesnt get paid to drink coffee
>doesnt get paid to shitpost on Sup Forums
>doesnt get paid to have a wank

Great job shad, 10/10 thread

>10 minutes

I literally shitpost on Sup Forums multiple times a day. About a half hour a day i'd say. Not to mention the time i spend browsing the net. In fact, today I have done nothing except post here and browse the net. And i'm leaving early and getting paid a full day's salary. Just for hanging out with mates in a comfy chair in a heated office and shitposting.

I do all of that at work. Plus free breakfast everyday. Get on my level

I get paid a salary so I don't really get paid to poop even if I poop at work.

NEETcucks are going to be so screwed when to social safety net breaks under the weight of all the immigrants and poors.

>be me
>volunteer for testing on weekends
>labour laws stipulate employers need to pay a minimum 4 hours for employees who come into work on weekends.
>come in for half an hour testing sessions every other weekend
>6 Sundays working a total of 1.5 hours gets me 24hours worth of vacation time

You just to play the system lads.

>have to walk past a bunch of cute girls in marketing to get to the restroom on my floor
>they clearly see me and just say hi as i make my way there
>they know if i'm in there too long then I'm taking a massive/messy shit
>have to speedpoop/wipe as fast as humanly possible so they think i just piss/freshen up at the sink
>consider just taking the stairs down to the previous floor and using that restroom instead

HELP

thats what I said

Shitposting myself right now
I never miss a poop at work

How does one even spend 10 minutes to poop?
I just go to the stall, slide down pants, sit down, push a bit and the shit slides out, wipe, put on pants, wash hands and go back. A couple minutes tops.

Do you guys even know about fiber?

>wagecucks don't get paid to spend hours commuting to work

>when

You mean IF, wagie.

How can one poop in only 10 minutes ? I'm not even talking about taking your phone and chilling. I can't shit in less than 20 min for sure as all the shit won't get out so easily.

I'm a anormal ?

>volunteer for testing

Testing what? What the fuck do you have to test in Canada?

I used to like this guy, until I heard him talk about politics.

Never look up musicians.

>Look up favorite musician
>Calls Trumps cabinet a kkkabinet
>mfw

Do you not know about wasting time? Thats the whole point of this.

Who gives a fuck what the bullshit degree feminist "marketing" women think? They majored in a crap degree and graduated with debt for that shitty job.

Bro I know this is hard for you, but you gotta stop caring about what other people think of your bathroom habits. The fact anyone could care about it says more about them then anything else.

Systems, it systems

I always shit before I go to work, it's more enjoyable.

I'm a milfag and there are days at work where I am paid to sit in a shack and shitpost on Sup Forums for 8 to 12 hours. Feels good being a welfare queen

Thats getting paid to poop. Salary is still paid per hour with an agreed amount of hours per week.

Yes

Supposed you poop daily, that is 20 minutes each day, or 2.33 hours each week, or in the span of a year more than 5 full days spend pushing out turds.

No, it's only a matter of time unless the economy really picks up in Western nations. Then all the NEETs will be left with no money, no skills, and no one left to hire them. All the McShit jobs will already be taken by Abdul fot $4/h or automated due to ridiculously high minwage imposed by the same leftists who kept upping your welfare.

At that point, mommy will probably toss you out of the basement and you'll starve.

I actually can't wait.

>he's not in IT

I log onto citrix from home, do a half hours work first thing in the morning one Sunday a month, get paid 6 hours for it

>paid $3 per shit
>post occasionally from the john
>mfw better pay than ctr cucks

He's a semen inspector, making sure canada gets the highest grade of rapey 36 year old adolescent refugee.

That's actually based as fuck.

Nice fantasy you have there, wagie. Does dreaming about that scenario help sleep at night before you get yanked out of bed by your work duty?

Yes. Eat less baguettes and more fiber.

I don't think I ever took more than 2-3 minutes to shit.

I have a question for the neets, especially americans: how do you get any income? And how much do you get?

This.

Working the gates of base all day is aids fa.m

I'm a tea-drinker, so I'm in the bathroom on the half-hour

get on my level!

He talks about exempt vs nonexempt employees in the U.S. I assume he's exempt so he gets paid a fixed amount no matter how much or little he works.

This except I'm alone and have no office. I don't mind it though.

Sure is. Thankfully I do aircraft security which is the biggest joke ever considering that the US defense in depth strategy is actually half decent. Makes my life super easy but makes me super deaf because of aircraft engines being so close

>huffing jet exhaust and shitposting on the taxpayers dime

Only 40 hours a year? I'm browsing Sup Forums and reading books at my desk for 5 hours a day on average. That's not an exaggeration. Working at private universities is great. We're straight up robbing you and your parents, though. Sorry.

kek enjoy literally being permabroke
also when talking to girls

>so err what do you do
>I'm a proud NEET, wanna come back to my mom's basement

Exactly right

I'm an exempt salaried employee. I get paid for results not for time spent

Ah right. Im salaried but still get overtime and the like for weekend work.

My contract is "we pay you x and you work at least 37.5 hours a week", which is just 9-5 with a half hour lunch break (except i take an hour).

>he doesn't spend extra time on the shitter just tapping away on his phone

Few years ago I always brought my DS Lite into the shitter with me and slowly but surely beat New Super Mario Bros one level and one shit at a time

I only leave fast if someone in another stall drops a nasty smelling shit

I agree, pooping at work is my little pleasure of the day.

>talking to girls

that's your first mistake

Do you know anything about ashworth college? I'm looking at some online classes there.

LOL

Pooping at work is my greatest pleasure

>free brekkie m8?

Jealous as fook I am m8

/comfy/

In charge of putting up our Christmas tree today lads.

Mulled wine, mince pies, Christmas tunes and leaving the office at half 3.

you guys have no work ethic.

if you don't like your job then get one you enjoy, otherwise your wasting your time and being completely beta

>kek enjoy literally being permabroke
I get 1300 Euros a month and have an expense of maybe 200.

>>so err what do you do
Tending to the farm I inherited that allows me self-sufficiency.

What do you do in your, what, 8 hours of free time a day?

What is you job

Dude, you know nothing. I was in a bathroom with like 4 stalls in this large corporate workplace. There were guys in the other stalls quietly farting out shit. Remember, workplaces are stressful. Shitting while in audible range of colleagues is stressful. A couple of guys were chatting at the sink. Suddenly I ripped a huge fart. A loud and long one. This actually interrupted the conversation at the sinks, one guy had to ask the other to repeat himself.

But even despite all this, or perhaps because of it, taking a shit while being paid is surely one of life's greatest pleasures.

>can't enjoy a shit at the office without hating your job

Are you autistic?

Fucking love mince pies. My mum makes the best ones. I miss living in England. Why did we ever immigrate to America I swear.

>Only allowed a 15 minute break
>Take a poo break
>15 minute break becomes 30 minute
>Nobody can say shit

I'm pooping at work right now

>10 minutes

You're all small time, I take a shit for atleast 90 minutes.
I usually go shit twice a day. Before and after my 2 hour lunch break.

who the hell can finish pooping in just 10 minutes

the foamy pre-shit doesn't even stop dribbling out in 10 minutes

I'm a test analyst for an automatic enrolment pension scheme (the largest of its kind in the UK).

We're not executing at the moment and we start sanity testing (making sure our test environments actually work properly) next week, so this week has been chilled as fuck.

I'm not a loser virgin unlike you

This.
>tfw I was an asst. property mgr.
>free 2 br apt with patio
>any work over 15 hrs a week was paid $15 an hour
>talked to owners about finding another job in addition to mgt of their apts.
>what kind? they ask, retail I say, something easy
>go to work for home improvement/building materials
>schedule is 6am-3pm but cannot have weekend off
>I take Sun & Mon off
>boss like me cause I have "split' days off but they are, he just looks at the week which ends on Sun
>I go in at 5:30am, take a half hour lunch instead of an hour and get off at 2:30pm
>go in 6 min late, leave 6 min early.
>time clock rounds up to full hour
>now I punch out at 2:15 pm
>plenty of time to do my property mgt job
>after time I get two week vacation
>instead of taking vacations I take a 4 day weekend erry month
>in Dec sales are slow so I take 2 extra days
off per week.
>boss loves me as I work hard and come in early erry day and saves payroll $ cause I take off when its slow
>no rent & utilities to pay so I bank most of my money
>apt. owner gives me upper keys to washer & dryer for repairman
>all my laundry done for free, saves $50 a month which goes in the bank
>tenants know I work full time on the other job so they leave me alone unless full blown emergency
>life is goot

>read
>lift weights
>go out and do shit
>fuck thots

>you still spent that time at the company though
not much of an improvement really, you still couldn't do what you wanted

I know burgerland cuisine is disgusting, but how on earth can your stomach have digested your food so poorly that it takes 10+ minutes for it to come out the other end?

>flag

working unsupervised is the best, when I can't be arsed working I just fuck about on my phone for all except an hour before and an hour after lunch - where I do a huge slug of coke in the toilets then blitz through my workload

>Implying i havent been in here for 20+ minutes

Cool, I do the same but I don't have to restrict it to only the 8 hours that are granted to me by my corporate masters.

It's very comfy.

Do you work at Bosch because I might be wiping your shit on my windshield every single day

>only 10 minutes to shit

you don't waste 40 hours of work a year if you have good work ethic

Post benis

Are you secretly German

>pooping is such a fun word haha. Getting paid for pooping am I right? haha
Fuck off to plebbit

Thid is such bullshit. In a libertarian utopia you would have to sign in to shit and your pay would be docked every minute instead.

Decent view from my office last night lads

WHY the fuck are those plastic bags on your shoes?

...

You can't be NEET in Belgium user, unless you think 700 euros a month can allow you to live anywhere.
If you live with your mom 350 is maximum and if she earns too much (>1500 a month) you get nothing

Manchester?

>>doesnt get paid to have a wank

People wank at work?
Is this really a thing?

NEET asking here.

>Modern architecture

I make cold-press juice, and I forgot my work shoes at the gym yesterday. I have to hose the machine off and beet juice will easily ruin shoes.

London? St. Paul's cathedral in the back?

I've done it a fair few times

Landan, thats st pauls in the 2nd image. I'm right on the thames, pretty comfy. Get a great view of tower bridge on my walk to the station.

Jesus where do you even work user? The building rent must be a fortune.

>POOP

Don't try and use cute little baby words for it, I FUCKING POOED, SHAT, BLEW OUT MY O RING

ahh
i'm up north in Liverpool, not all that much to look at from where I sit unfortunately

I mean he's austrian it's close enough

Once I pooped in the bathroom of the Eiffel tower . Does it stand for something?

Correct lad.

>not showering after taking a dump
You guys are fucking disgusting.