Well no because

well no because
*brings the mic closer*
every 10 years your cells in your body actually completely change.
i was reading this article about how DMT can actually advance this process into only taking 6 years because your pineal gland- jaimie could you get that article up? yeah but its because your pineal glands can actually make your cells rejuvenate faster ... here we go
*looks over at the screen*
look at that ...
yeah that chimp must be what? 400 pounds? jesus those things will tear you to shreds

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=gH4c3aS7q2Y
npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/09/17/223386084/healthful-living-may-lengthen-telomeres-and-lifespans
youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk
youtube.com/watch?v=04wyGK6k6HE
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

great thread

lold

Top fucking kek

I like a good Joe Rogan thread. Sup Forums doesn't like them though. Sup Forums thinks they should be on Sup Forums and Sup Forums thinks they should be on Sup Forums. Joe gets squeezed in the middle.

Herojimmy Niggersucky should just make /jre/ and be done with it, I say.

Fucking KEK that was perfect

We need a separate board for /joe/

apex hue

>*brings the mic closer*

Top kek, lost it at the last line. He is always talking about monkeys

>"moves the mic farther"

You beautiful bastatd

>how dare you

...

DUDE ELK MEAT LMAO

>when you call him brazilian monkey

I have a feeling joe is closet conservative??? but he can't admit it because he's surrounded by liberals and many of his fans are dude weed liberal shitheads.

hahahaah

I love that bastard.

>i was reading this article about how DMT can actually advance this process into only taking 6 years

It's called apoptosis, basically meaning 'cellular suicide.' Most cells die long before 10 years, and it's obvious that he's talking about neurons which have the longest turnover period.

The process by which these neurons are killed is called excitotoxicity, and involves the neurons excreting dopamine (Low pH, acidic) and absorbing calcium (High pH, basic.) The neuron dies, and leaves a little neuron-shaped grain of calcium phosphate - this is how bones are formed and grow, except in that case the cells involved are osteoblasts and osteoclasts.

Every cell division shortens telomeres, and eventually they completely fray and you start losing genes. This is intentional, and differentiates cell types. The fetus grows into the infant in this manner.

The high of DMT is basically the high of many years of metabolic life flashing by in 15 minutes. You're aging - killing yourself.

a fucking tree

>it's a joe rogan thread

Fuck yes

10/10

NOOOO say it aint so

FUCK JHOE ROGGIN NIGGUH

I like joe. I play his videos when I'm cooking

i saw the real joe rogan selfsuck humiliation video

This post brought to you by Shroomcore Kettle Tanks(tm).

Bravo

On most social issues he comes down that way but most conservative factions don't give a shit about drugs anymore and that along with faux spirituality seems to be the main thing for Joe.

Fucking lol

>jaimie could you get that article
I died

I think that's what Alex Jones mentioned

holy shit. is this pasta? it is spot on, lold to the max

On the election night podcast/stream he said he wanted Hillary to win

>its another MMA guy episode

youtube.com/watch?v=gH4c3aS7q2Y

I fucking love this guy...he has single handedly raised mart sharters image up a couple points.

>1 post by this ID

These posts are made to destroy the abundant #pizzagate evidence.

Do not fall for them.

/heem/ on Sup Forums is the official place for anything and everything /joe/ related

Is this true?

Holy shit

Your telomeres never grow back, they just run out and you die.

when you go down the self-reliant road long enough you find yourself in traditionalism, specially after you do psychedelics and figure out what "spirit" means

kek

It is possible user.

If it were practically for them, they would have handed and mass produced this technology already. Same with age related illnesses - all treatable, preventable, hence nonlethal.

I am confident in saying that a child born today could easily live 150 years being healthy till the end. Problem is that as you age you still lose productivity, hence you are not useful anymore. The system wants you to die quick after worklife ended.

So the SNAKE in the white house, President OBUMMER, the lying, decietful communist is doing everything in his power to undermine and SUBVERT the election result.

Him and all his brainless followers are trying everything to DESTROY this country, they put these islamoFASCIST and third world subhumans before you, before me, the American people
And I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT.

WHAT ABOUT MY COUNTRY? WHAT ABOUT MY PEOPLE? Robert put the music on, I can't deal with this right now.

>Your telomeres never grow back

Not true.

>Ornish is known for his work showing that heart disease, in particular, can be not only prevented but reversed by rigorous changes in diet, exercise and stress reduction.

>In recent years he and his colleagues have focused on the hypothesis that telomeres are at the root of these health-promoting changes. They studied two groups of older men. One group didn't do anything special; the other adopted Ornish's healthy regimen.

>"These included a whole foods, low-fat, plant-based diet that's also low in refined carbohydrates," Ornish says. "Walking for a half an hour a day. Doing various stress management techniques, including yoga and meditation, for an hour a day. And spending more time with their loved ones, including friends and family."

>After five years, study authors say men who followed this regimen actually lengthened their telomeres by about 10 percent. Men who didn't had a 3 percent shortening of their telomeres over that period.

npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/09/17/223386084/healthful-living-may-lengthen-telomeres-and-lifespans

spot on

>buy my totally not alex jones pills and kettlebells

DMT is harvested from the pineal glands of child rape victims.

Joe Rogan is an asshole.

...

Smoking weed causes stem cells to multiply, and some time after your last toke these stem cells begin to differentiate into adult cells. The telomeres of these new cells are very long, like the cells of a young person. Eating right and excercising helps this process.

This replaces the cells lost during metabolic hard times, and medical science is exploring these pathways in an effort to attain immortality. Stem cells have already helped MS, alzheimers and parkinsons patients - all diseases caused by neuron death or damaged DNA in neurons.

Just use DMT in moderation, like you would a vacation to Aleppo.

>implying you wouldn't listen to two hours of based Cowboy

10/10

aubrey de gray says he can stop'em from shrinkin'

postpone agin'

cure it

>The process by which these neurons are killed is called excitotoxicity

you talk about excitotoxicity with a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo but you don't mention NMDA/AMPA receptors, kys senpai

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO BODY TEMP (37.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:

- ALPHA BRAIN
- SHROOMTECH
- KRILL & MCT OIL
- PRIMATE CARE PILLS
youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk [Open] YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOATATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

- Joe Rogan, 2015


>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

- Brought to you by SquareSpaceｩ

cue the hempforce mustard

10/10

>OH HE HURT HIM

We need a separate board for /Jew/ you mean

This is the best thread of 2016

Dude brazil has this disease that goes into ur brain through cat shit and men get more aggresive and women get more submissive

berrypicker deception

convince himself he live forever if eats berry

berrypickers should keep diary
would be ironic joke after berrypicker die because telomere no replace itself

>have you heard of pizzagate?

I saw Joe live at the comedy store earlier this week and the first thing I thought when he stepped on stage was
>Duke of Manlets lol
But seriously, he routine was pretty good and it was a nice change of pace cause the 4 comedians that preceded him were full SJW. Actually now that I think about it 2 women that were before him were terrible. It's just as all the anons say "muh vagina!! Wage gap! White ppl lmao!"

And Joe bashed on women in general so that was fun. Good times

heem urself my man

Yea, so she can fail and we can put to bed that , Yea, a woman cant do that job either.
That was from his netflix special

Isn't it so weird that we have these rudimentary lines that we've told people outside of these lines that they cannot cross because the land inside these lines is ours?

Like, what gives us the right to draw this border and claim that everything within these lines is ours, you know?

Tl;dr: what is international law

I dgaf what anybody on Sup Forums says his podcast is legit sometimes funny and sometimes redpilled.

He likes being a contrarian fuck though and doesnt hate nogs and jews so naturally NS/pol/ hates him.

Plenty of worse shit people could be watching/listening to, if joe even inspires 0.05% of some of the neets on here to get fit he has made a possitive difference, we already question narritives which is why we are here so JR clearly is never going to redpill any of us, but for normies half of his shit would trigger them.

His stance on bruce jenner is the truth.

I like joe so fuck me right?

>tfw joe is redpilled on race but has to hide it from his faggot friends

...

Agreed. Joe definitely has his problems and oddities and silly shit but he does give a platform to some legitimately great guests. His podcast with Jordan Peterson a couple weeks ago was fantastic and should be mandatory Sup Forums listening.

youtube.com/watch?v=04wyGK6k6HE

Oh i disagree my man

Welcome to the Savage Nation!

I guess OBUMMER didn't learn that in Marxism 101.

And this CHARLATAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE is destroying this country!

it's just a fuckin line in the dirt man

that's why I feel like if more people took mushrooms regularly and went on an adventure in their mind they'd realize that's all that mattered, nothing else fucking matters. It's all bullshit

jaimie pull up that explanation of the multiverse theory I was talking to you about yesterday, this shit will blown your mind

oh and can we get giorgio tsoukalos back on the show next week?

great.

>the moon landing is fake
>buy my brain power pills

Topkek

Bravo OP this is 10/10

His answers are always 'well yes and no' --- yes. a chimp would tear you to shreds. but no. A chimp doesn't weigh close to 400lbs more like 90-120lbs.

DUDE DOLPHINS LMAO

>convince himself he live forever if eats berry

It is not about living forever but prolong it a lot of vitality at high age. This is more matter of advanced science than berry eating though berries are pretty awesome.

Let's all be honest here. This little Italian scrotum of a man would rip you a new asshole and call you a silly bitch in front of your mother.

Joe is a true alpha. I bet he is extremely dominant in bed even if he does need to stack pillows on the floor to have access to his wife's vagina while attempting to fuck her from behind.

Yeah when he runs his mouth and talks nonsense for five minutes because he's self-conscious about the fact he knows nothing about the field of interest his guest specialises in, it can get cringy for me.

But I agree I really enjoyed that podcast you linked.

My good friend Steven Rinella has a term for it, "charismatic mega-fauna."

because you were born on this side of the invisible, made up line... that somehow makes us better than people on the other side of the invisible made up line

*laughs and strains to suck in air annoyingly on purpose*

Yeah that one's pretty good because he keeps his mouth shut for most of it. The one he did with Kevin Smith the other day was almost unwatchable.

I did not get around to that one yet, but will do, thats from the past couple of weeks right? Im on a backlog and about 2 weeks behind on em atm.

Is that the educator/professor guy who was arguing with the triggered sjw fucks at yale/harvard the other month?

this.

lol

I introduced this podcast to a guy in my unit who thinks he is really intellectual because he listens to Dan Carlin's History of Rome over and over again.

He now constantly posts on facebook "omg if you love having me as a friend this joe rogan podcast is required listening"

Then people say "wtf this shit is 3 hours long"

He constantly talks about DMT and useless pseudo science shit and has taken up hunting because of the podcast.

That was the day I psyoped a 32 year old man... all thanks to uncle Joe

...

those are the best you cuck

Yeah, he even gets into religion some at the end which is also interesting, give it a go when you can. Even Joe says that it's one of the best podcasts that he's done.

"Brian what do you think of all this?"
>Boner Pills
>Squirting is real though I ate out a stripper once and she squirted on my face
>Poop fart poop

Fuck I hate Redban.

Joe Rogan is the DUDE WEED MAN of America.

He talks utter shit and nonsense. He's a degenerate just like all liberals.

>I am confident in saying that a child born today could easily live 150 years being healthy till the end
Then the LORD said, "My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years."

too bad the bible says we are numbered at 120 years so thats a no go

>Makes joke
>No one laughs
>Looks at Jamie

Roganposting is hilarious

>pleasure monkeys

>tfw to inteligent and smart not too really think about the stuff and things joe rogan says

we're just here to eat the sandwich

That's O-N-N-I-T onnit!