>"shieet drayvon, I hear dat white boi bought a plasma screen TV fo christmas"
>"iz you fo real, nigga? daym Imma snatch dat shiet"
>2am
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>you wake up
>hear a voice from downstairs "check da house nigga"
>you have 30 seconds until they climb up the stairs to your bedroom where your wife is soundly sleeping
What are you gonna do, Sup Forums?
Other urls found in this thread:
The Fendippitous Eggmen are returning soon.
Rack, aim, shoot
Does Canada have a castle doctrine law enforced?
I keep my Benelli M4 loaded about 3 feet from me. I also have my P320 with my laser sight on my dresser which is an arm's length away from me.
Empty a clip on them
The world will thank me
I don't live in a house
I don't have a wife
if someone managed to break into my concrete block of an apartment I'd tackle one and choke him the fuck out
I live in a stand your ground state so I'd grab my gun and go coon hunting.
i think you can only use equal force in canada as the intruder
Sounds like you choose your guns from csgo
>clip
Admit it, you've never fired a gun.
Plasmas? What is this 2009?
Fluff the pillows
Wait can you booby trap your home legally here?
In Canada.
>I lock the bedroom door
>Call the police
>Curl up into a ball, cry, and hope they are friendly Negroes.
America
>Pull out my pistol
>Open my bedroom door
>Scream "I'm out of bubblegum motha fuckas!"
I prefer it the American way.
they dont make plasma screen tvs anymore
I'm a cop. I have a lot of guns.
I've got a bat
>pistol
Shotgun not pistol. Those little 9mm are not gonna do shit against tyrone.
>fendip poster
>sweden
i hate newfags so much
no
I am convinced a bayonet mounted on a Mauser Kar98k is an effective weapon in a house invasion scenario.
Imagine charging them while they climb the stairs.
>implying I'd own a TV
>get my shotgun
>go downstairs
>splatter the niggers all over the wall
>yell as loud as i can "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKIN THUGS"
>wait 2 seconds
>shoot the ceiling
Laugh as they shuck and jive into the fatal funnel.
Canada is a country were you can rack up more charges trying to defend yourself or attempting a citizens arrest then you can committing a crime.
Let them take it, I'm a retard for still having a plasma, they're doing a friendly service for me.
Faggot don't steal my Shotgun for HD shitpost meme template from /k/
It's not Drayvon either it's Lil T.
I'd rape the nigger.
I make it a point to often clean my guns on the porch and loudly talk how I wish a mother fucker would.
the old saying goes, Don't turn this rape into a murder.
and yet
>leaf
Die trying to decide what gun I want to use
I sling 180 grains of fuck off at em.
mag dump into the nearest dindu
bonus points my tag has nigz in it
Shoot to kill
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
>BUDDY YOU'RE A BOY MAKIN BIG NOISE PLAYIN IN THE STREETS YOU GONNA BE A BIG MAN SOMEDAY YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE, YO BIG DISGRACE KICKIN YOUR CAN ALL OVER THE PLACE SINGIN
WE WILL
WE WILL
ROCK YOU!
>*BOOM BOOM CRASH*
whats wrong with plasma
10mm JHP to ensure Drayvon will no longer have an intact skull. Then kill the second nigger with my trusty buck knife. No mercy.
9mm Sig Sauer
aim for center mass, not even a split second of doubt
Stand your ground state, unload my 9 on them
>Gun
I bet you have never discharged some ordinance
Low life span and after images on screen.
*unsheathes adamantium claws* heh heh...the nose knows, bub...*teleports behind u*
I don't want to ruin my home. A nice pistol wound scare the shit out of him, and get him out of the house. A shotgun wound would kill him, most likely damage my house. and leave stains everywhere, but worst of all, now I have to deal with his nigga ghost. I can't have that.
I gibs dem poor disavtaged yoofs my TV. They need dem reprations.
Call the KKK
>using a shotgun for HD
Let the dogs out of the bedroom. Wake my spouse to share the screaming growling happiness of angry canines dispensing teeth justice.
>dump an entire magazine into drayvon
>reload
>dump another magazine into drayvon
>reload
>dump an entire magazine into drayvon
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>dump another magazine into drayvon
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>dump an entire magazine into drayvon
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Laugh maniacally as I lock the doors and spend the next 2 days deploying my Besieged inspired traps until they learn to fully appreciate just how fucked up in the head I am.
Once they do I burn down the house, change my name and start over in the next city down the road.
they sell shit like this but you probably cant actually harm them or youd be breaking the law
>Grab 870 by the bed
>blind them with the light mounted on it
>watch their heads explode in a fantastic display of pink mist
They'll come to get a fancy t.v. in their hands.
They'll leave with a .45 ACP in the chest.
Actually I think if you injure him and not kill him he can sue you. Better to kill.
>overheated barrel explodes in your face
Using the power of my stand [YOUR GROUND], I quickly dispatch the intruders
>not having solid steel door
wew lads
Doesn't even happen. One of my two dogs bark outside, they run off in fear of an animal less than half their size.
Because dogs>niggers.
Pretty much this. Dead men tell no tales.
Load my musket since that will always be legal and attach my bayonet.
I have a TAR-21 in the cabinet next to my bedside and it's perfectly legal to kill both niggers under the Israeli self-defense act of 2007.
In Canada you'll go to jail. Even if you put your hands on the guy. I thought in the states you can defend your property?
>plasma
what is it still 2006 in leaf land?
> Cut the lights
> Deploy the Doombas
> Post Doombacam footage on liveleak
> Profit
so if you shot them, decapitated them, and posted their heads on your fence it would even out?
>kill nigger
>nigger ghost haunts you
>sitcom?
Idk the nuts and bolts are all there for a very Sup Forums comic
I'd board my interdimentional cruiser and visit Whoville knowing that I'm still dreaming because I live in a country with no niggers
>Not using an M1 Garand for HD
Only if they find the body.
*Teleports behind them*
It's over before it started gentlemen
if you draw your gun the reason is to kill not maim
>kys so your ghost lynches the nigger ghost
>I thought in the states you can defend your property?
You can but due to jewish bullshit if you injure him and he runs away or say breaks his leg by his own fault robbing your house he can sue you.
N-NANI?!
Draw my butter knife and teleport behind them
>*Opens my bedroom door to see pic related standing there*
>"Hello sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"
Ayy yous betta git outta mah house
Lock door, grab knife, use wife as human shield.
Is this you?
i would shoot my dick off and throw it at them
First off thank God for this wonderful opportunity. Then slip the tranqs in the gun...
I live in florida.
Them motherfuggers gonna be dead as shit. Im making the newspaper the next morning, look out for me boys.
I laughed user
waste of perfectly good ammo
that shit ain't free
one magazine should be plenty to liquefy both of their brains
unless you're rich is fuck, in that case knock yourself out
Both barrels into the first darkie to attempt to take my possessions.
>butter knife
The police have been notified.
Grab me trusty axe i sharpened the night before and use my superior MCMAP and axe fighting techniques to sucessfully slice Drayvon open.
Hold on, don't come in I have to put my face on
Dig at least 6 feet deep and later never utter a peep.
Oh Canada what are bears for?
>using a high-point shit-tier gun
Two people broke a window and were climbing into my apartment last year, they ran off when I yelled at them to GTFO.
I've got a k98 with a Czech bayonet and I agree, butt stroke, bayonet thrust and twist.
Super gay.
It must be done.
Aren't there auto shotguns? I mean you'd pretty much ruin your home spraying.
>Not sleeping with a bearded axe next to your bed
I dream of the day I can fulfill my viking fantasies.
First off, I'll get a pillow.
Second: have trusty maple syrup I have because am Canadian
Third toss pillow down to bottom of stairs so that the ni- I mean African Canadians don't get hurt slipping.
Fourth: I pour ten gallons of maple syrup (any more and I couldn't eat my normally 20 gallons of syrup per day) on the stairs they are climbing up, then because of the fact that it is always freezing in Canada, I pour water, for a hybrid of water and syrup. The ice freezes so quickly that I almost forget that I should've thrown two pillows, just to be safe.Luckily in this confusion they haven't started up the stairs yet. I quickly apologize for the injury I may cause. Hearing this, they quickly run up the stairs not noticing the ice. They slip quickly, their heads landing on pillows I placed down. I start making beaver noises as it is the way of the Canadian. The confused robbers will be disoriented and will try again, repeating the same process. This continues on until midnight.
They finally give up. I forgot to call the police as I was worried for their safety. I make sure everything is locked this time, and go to sleep with my wife. The next the cops are at my door. They tell me I am going to jail as I forgot to place a third pillow for the robbers. The cops allow the robbers to take my stuff. They also have sex with my wife, forcing me to watch it. I think it's only fair, after all, I forgot to turn off my small heater two years ago, and kept it on for 10 seconds after use, causing me to pollute the earth.
12 guage. I live in the middle of nowhere though, if thugs are busting down my door its because theres a revolution happening, and I'd have long since retreated innawoods.
/k/ related
youtube.com
>miss
shoulda used the right ammo dumbass
*turn in stereo surround sound*
[chu-chuck]
Y'ALL GONE MAKE ME LOSE MY MIND UP IN HERE
UP IN HERE
So your bet defence is saying "I invited them over to beat them up" which is criminal assault instead of defending yourself?