Tuvalu Prime Minister has been worried about this shit for YEARS

reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/12u2ic/if_an_army_of_mercenaries_were_to_invade_a_small/

Other urls found in this thread:

tuvaluislands.com//news/news-head.htm
tuvaluislands.com//news/archives/2011/2011-01-13.html
strawpoll.me/11881019
[fagbook].com/Tuvalu-Confessions
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>severe droughts

UR SURROUNDED BY WATER IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But no wealth to remove salt from water.

>but we have several extremely wealthy individuals that inhibit on our land.

Looks like they do. Plus dem .tv domain revenues.

More like being fucking brown, and not understanding how into solar desalinization

Memes to reality.

this. They only have an average IQ of 65 btw.

...

>Given the absence of natural resources (apart from tuna in the territorial waters), and the constrains imposed on the Tuvaluan economy by its remoteness and lack of economies of scale, practical policies are needed for improvements to the livelihoods of the growing numbers of young Tuvaluans who aspire to a more affluent lifestyle than older generations.

We must promise iphones!

god dammit if we get a computer in every Tuluvian houshold just like Bill Gates did, these people will worship us like Gods.

every Sup Forumsack must bring 1990's computers with win95/xp loaded onto them, we will use them as bartering for political favoritism.

That'll do more for votes of confidence than every minister they ever had, who achieved
>literally fucking nothing

if they get computers, they get educated.

Look at this

tuvaluislands.com//news/news-head.htm

tuvaluislands.com//news/archives/2011/2011-01-13.html

>every Sup Forumsack must bring 1990's computers with win95/xp loaded onto them, we will use them as bartering for political favoritism.

This. We'll need to ban pornography though. The Tuvalua Confessions page is full of Tuvaluans who just sit around the computer in their hut and jack off all day.

Is the island exposed to regular cyclone / hurricane /...?

el nino was giving them drought issues

>Tuvalu

I'm just hearing about this today Sup Forums... I live here... I'll join but only if I can apply for leadership role within the island as I have plenty of experience as an entrepreneur/ business man

ANNEX TUVALU
N
N
E
X

T
U
V
A
L
U

Burger here, lets go over the plan goys

>1: we meme the idea that Tuvalu is a sinking ship
and the people should live elsewhere, Canada like refugees right?

>2: we get a Sup Forumsony going
debate exports here, i say weed/hemp as we can get it going easy and its very profitable(trust me i'm a jew :^)..)
we gotta have a plan for the inevitable cartels, i say /k/ommando task force

>3: takeover
after we set up a steady stream of money though donations, crowd-sourcing and exports
we run for main office, if done right and we can set up charities for the natives to use and get popular support. we can win office with little struggle as seeing how their politics are fractured already

Questions comments concerns?

And king tides.
Strong ciclones ain't regular tho.

if you live there turn off your proxy

>tuvaluislands.com//news/archives/2011/2011-01-13.html

>The events leading up to this action started with a mid-December vote of no confidence over the planned budget of the 3 month old regime of Maatia Toafa. Three members of Toafa's government crossed the floor and joined the opposition, including Willy Telavi, who was subsequently elected as Prime Minister.
>...
>Apparently Prime Minister Telavi followed by broadcasting on Radio Tuvalu a Public Order for Funafuti that prohibits the assembly in public areas of 10 or more persons, for a two week period.
>...
>A great concern among the Tuvaluan community surrounds the involvement of the Coast Guard ship and the fact that some of the personnel have been armed - something that is unprecedented in Tuvalu's history.

He's paranoid. We're going to brink back freedom of assembly back to Tuvalu, that I can tell you.

Only two severely damaging hurricanes are documented in the last two centuries.

Invasion 2: Electric Tuvalu

nah were gonna need that just incase things get dice, think like a jew(us in this scenario)
we can do that later, but remember that any control from the top WILL be seen as tyrannical.

Well, what do we do about the rising tide?
promise construction of a sea wall?
obviously we can't protect the out-reaching islands, they'll have to sink, but the mainland we can protect..

They are already doing this and it isn't working quickly enough. We want to contain the Tuvaluan populace, not allow them to infect the developed world.

They peopleof Tuvalu have no money at all to emigrate somewhere else.
How are we going to get them refugee status if they can't emigrate by themselves.
Many of them will rather stay, since they're lazy.

you guys think we can turn Tuvalu into a safe heaven before the muslim conquest of europe takes place?

This is the entire tavulian navy.

It sports a 20 mm cannon on the back.

If you could get 5 men into a boat and spot this vessel while it is patrolling, you could use a smoke machine to make it appear as though your boat is sinking, and use marine flares to catch the attention of this vessel.

They will pull you onto deck to save you from your burning boat, at which point our men pull ccw and takes the vessel.

Now we have a 20 mm cannon and have defeated the entire navy of tavula

We are House Tuvalu now, N'wahs

So we need to do the same thing as Nestlé with pure life,litteral James Bond bad guy plan, it worked all over Africa

...

Yes.

>He's paranoid.

This is true. We have to keep that in mind as we do this. Hostile takeover for media attention, media watches us as we make speeches while media has it's eye on us. Trump strategy, do madman moves to get attention.

If we keep memeing this, it will become True. Just like Brexit and Donald Trump

Keep these threads going boys! don't stop! Praise kek, Tuvalu sha'll be yours.

We're gonna rock down to electric tuvalu

And then we take Papaya..

I doubt they man it 24/7 and even if they did they keep it near the docks. We could easily take it and use it ourselves, hypothetically speaking of course.

Tuvalu is not the problem. It is the response from the surrounding area and the rest of the world. Subversion is the way to go.

guys what if we mascaraed as humanitarian workers, build all the high-tech Sup Forumsony housing and desalination rigs. then invade as they sleep

we want the island user, Tuluvuians will be welcomed everywhere in the western world
if you have a differing suggestion on how to free up land then make it.

we'll have to fund it out of liberal pocket Jill stein style by pulling it out of the lefties pockets, think crowd sourcing. as well i propose funding a boat charter ourselves to and let them go on their own, like how the jews bring rapefugees into europe

It should be a vegan only island. No more degenerate meat eating (including fish)

>Sup Forums literally becomes a state, with state Kek worship
WEW

This seems fishy. I think all this talk of killing Tuvaluans and invading their country is going to get Sup Forums in trouble. CNN is going to call us terrorists or something.

good ole aussies

don't mind me just click the link

strawpoll.me/11881019
strawpoll.me/11881019
strawpoll.me/11881019
strawpoll.me/11881019

We'd have to have multi prong attack, at the same time we get that boat we'd need to make sure the other islands's residents don't leave for sea, make sure communications are down. All the major island's residents should be moved to one island for a while just to make sure everything is under control before we start spreading our own numbers.

>not spamming their population with porn so they stop procreating
we must become the jews

I do believe.

Tbh senpai.
I feel like symbioses is better than dominance. Why? Because you get more people to your cause and you can speak freely to them about what you want to do and what they are about to receive.
For example instead of fucking them over, help them fuck other people over by using Nigerian scamming tactics.

But if we invade them wouldn't we want them NOT to be educated?

[fagbook].com/Tuvalu-Confessions

shit man, their people are infested with degenerates.

These people are typing like niggers, how can we overcome this hostility?

>killing

No one said killing my dude. At most we'd just take this island hostage for a while, make sure we stay in control/gain media attention so we get recognized as a real nation

Why go through all that trouble when you could just take an uninhabited island?

Fluoride inside the already scarce clean water

This is going to happen eventually anyways, even if we don't advocate for Tuvalu. Eventually CNN is just going to brand us as bad guys and try to get the site shut down. This is exactly why we need a physical state. One that if they want to shut us down, they'll need to declare war on us.

Also, we can bring them to heel with just meme magic alone. No violence. No terrorism.

We need to start a gofundme for some boats and go take that clay with our army of neets

What's going on? why are we planning on taking over a Polynesian Island? how can I help

Its salt water shit head

what the fuck is a tuvalu? i think look it up.

>trust me i'm a jew

thats what were doing, but we want the island never forget, to do that simple subversion that gets the idea that they want to leave will work best for that end, if we do it right and fund it properly we can make it so we help them(in the long run, think colonialism, but without us getting fucked by a jew) and they help us because they want to leave or have a better life in our areas(small scale urbanization)

nice spotting t*rk, i was getting worried about Sup Forums

We'll just have their bits cut off.

...

fuck off you pansy
we are making a permanent white nation we aren't "holding it hostage for a while" and i don't think island abbos are considered white.

wrong reply

meant for this:

hey that's me

Please spare the local shaman, I need to know the wisdom of the land to take over his duties.

Alright faggots this is the battle plan

were gonna not kill them, but maliciously help them by encouraging certain thoughts like how nice the outside world is and how they should live in a nice place like Canada or something

thanks, how are we going?

why do you all hate that island?

why don't we just help them?

we should BUILD instead of destroy

Stop Bullying Tuvalu.

Sup Forums is a board of peace ;^)

send a carrier, a battleship, and two destroyers. and something with cruise missiles.

>no one said killing
Read any of the threads on this 'Tuvalu mission' and you'll see people calling for extermination of the natives

correct, make Tuvalu great again!

So if you commit to making a colony full of redpilled, traditional folks who troll autistic imageboards..
where are the women gonna come from?

Anyone got the screenshot of the guy who sent Tuvalu's government an ultimatum ?

we're going to do that silly, we'll just convince them that it'll be best if we're running things, and the best way to do that is let them do as they will and make them happy and fat with the convince of the west :^)

if this actually takes place please someone record it and upload it

Underrated

This guy tried it in the Seychelles Islands in 1981.
A gang of mercs showed up at the airport pretending to be from the "Ancient Order of Froth Blowers" drinking club.
They were actually hired by BOSS (SA secret service) to overthrow Renee's commie regime.
The coupe failed when one of the mercs went into the "something to declare" line and customs found the guns. D'oh!

Forceful invasion is retarded and unless someone here is willing to donate 2 bit boats it's impossible.

The best course of action is to move in, group after group, buy up land, until we have a decent size population then we can come up with a take over plan whether is violent take over or political take over, but for that we need an expeditionary force of people willing to actually go and live there...
Who here has 20k laying around and 6 months of their life they can give to Sup Forums?


That's what I thought.

just kiddin tuvala

you'll always have those silly people here, but don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch

Nigger it'd be easier to just storm the government building directly from land and seize power by force.

the natives have no weapons and wouldn't even know what was going on.

Silicone filled coconuts

>implying were going to overthrow anything
>by force

That's a good part of their GDP.

and then Australia sends the SAS and you get BTFO in your very own Iranian Embassy siege

Checked
Yes, but killing won't let us stay a permanent nation with our current or near future level of resources. We infiltrate and get into power, all while subconsciously programming their youth and amassing wealth from companies we own. Once we get in power, we turn it into a tax haven for our corporations.

Natives mostly, this is an assimilation as well a takeover after all. but i'm sure we'll get some tourist pussy too

ALERT
ALERT
FAT AUTISTIC CUNTS ARE INVADING AN ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE FOR THEIR NEO NAZI OVERLORDS IT LOOKS LIKE THEY ASSEMBLED IN A WEBSITE CALLED 4CHINS
SHUT IT DOWN

see

OY VEY SHUT IT DOWN

OOOOY VEEEEEEEEY

Shit pham, gimme a few years and I'm in.
The group thing's actually a good idea: buddy up with people and move in near each other. That way we hold one another accountable to going through with the move and can form a community when we arrive. We can even make our areas into Sup Forumslack law controlled zones :^)

>bank of tuvalu.jpg

That's not even the main island

THE WAR IS OFFICIALLY STARTED