Am I jewish?

Hello Sup Forums! Am I a Jew?
My surname is jewish.
I have curly blond brown hair.
I am fairly short (5.9)
Lips are big
Eyes are blue
Nose is normal.
Ears rather normal, maybe a bit small, very small earlobe
strong chin and and hard cheeks
pretty good black blond beard growth
bushy eyebrows

fuck off

I wanna know without a dna test.

Gotta take a dna test to know for sure lad, either that or do some Genealogical research and look for a recurrence of stereotypically Jewish names

man, it's so expensive but I guess you're right.

Do you like money?
Do you like working in entertainment?

I like entertainment and I am a brilliant writer

maybe
Do you think goym are inferior?

if I were jewish, sure

How is $ 149 for personal genotyping expensive, you cheap jew?

Just donate plasma 6 times and you're turning a juicy $ 1 profit, you Alpenferengi.

I'm currently studying and do not have a lot of money. Do you get a good DNA test for 149?

>black blond beard growth
>curly blond brown hair
>Lips are big
Absolutely disgusting. Gas yourself, Shmuel.

ok slavshit

You'll need a second person for this test:

Tell a friend to take a small coin and glue it somewhere you'll find it in about one month, but not tell you where.
If you try to pick it up, you're 25% Jewish.
If you try it more than twice, you're 50% Jewish.
If you instinctually start crying about filthy antisemites and how this is another shoah, you're 100% Jewish.

sounds good lad, will start the test tomorrow

That's the price tag to 23andme. It's good enough for your purposes (if you are aware of inherent limitations); plus you get full access to your raw dna data file and can e.g. also use it to check for genetic risk factors and recessive diseases. That's a steal (if you don't worry about an American company having access to your genetic fingerprint).

>fairly short (5.9)

le baitey bater hehe

Krusty Krab

kk, will look into that.

what do you mean? I am a manlet hurr durr

5'9 isnt short, most men are like 5'7 or some shit, I'm 6'0 and I'm a giant among men here

come to Austria dude.

I know some Austrians and theyre all quite regular heights (below mine)

man, maybe it's just my region.