Wow, I'm so sorry user, it sucks you lost $500

>Wow, I'm so sorry user, it sucks you lost $500
>That will be $25 tip

Other urls found in this thread:

legaluspokersites.com/
nordicfoodlab.org/blog/2013/6/ants-and-a-chimp-stick
youtube.com/watch?v=193tYXDnrYs
salon.com/2000/11/22/weimar/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

The player has the better hand there.

The player has a pair of queens while the dealer has a pair of twos.

"user, I enjoyed the $1000 dinner, but this date isn't going well, I'll go home with Chad, you can leave now"

YOU CHEATING BITCH!!!! WHERE'S THE FLOOR MANAGER! CAN WE GET A MAN OVER HERE DEALING?!?! THIS SLUT THINKS SHE CAN DISTRACT ME WITH HER WHORE TITS AND SWINGLE ME!!! SHENANIGANS!!!! SHENANIGANS!!!!!!

>actually knows how to play Tel Aviv Hold'Em

Degenerate detected.

>on the button
>AA
>raise 3BB
>small blind reraises
>fuck off nigger
>reraise
>SB shoves
>shove too
>villains hand and flop get shown
>94% chance to win
>turn
>97%
>river
>0%
>mfw

What is that? Online? You gotta play in person if you want to sucker someone out of their money.

Are gamblers white?
What is it about the casino floor that makes successful white people throw their money around like stupid niggers?

At least niggers who buy chrome rims have something to show for it, unlike you when you leave the casino.

>b-but muh comps

>Are gamblers white?

The ones who play at the tables are, the slot machines is filled with Asians and old people though

>Frequenting casinos with female croupiers

Online, yes. Multitabling cash games for some change.
>mfw feeling kinda guilty after winning a few buy-ins from a Venezualan

Poker isn't that much of a gamble if you're not retarded. Fortunately, most people are, and you can take a lot of money from those idiots. Most other casino games are set up to make you lose money (unless you do shit like counting cards at Blackjack, giving you the better odds).

>What is it about the casino floor that makes successful white people throw their money around like stupid niggers?
they load you up on free alcohol in casino

"you can drive us to his place now"

Casinos are probably the most diverse establishments in America. It's like 25% each white, black, latino, asian when I go to one

Dealer's pair of 2s beat my Queens? Fuck off. Pay me cunt.

>Frequenting casinos

Americans should have the freedom to gamble more and the common sense to gamble less. Fuck off with your authoritarian eastern bloc bullshit

I dont get it how is counting cards forbidden.
How do they limit your skill as a player?
Do they just randomly go:"oh vey this guy is winning, thats illegal!"

>tfw have to go search in the trash now

You're all small stakes scrubs compared to me

My leafy plebeian, I don't mean the Harrah's at Niagara Falls.

Degenerate here: you only tip if you win a bet

This

Tipping without winning is like getting drunk on a tuesday. You just dont do it unless youre a nigger.

Fellow gambler here.

The only people that call it degenerate are just the ones who suck at gambling.

>playing pleb card games when you could be playing redpilled chess

i like chess, but lets be honest, it has 0 entertainment and pussy value

house rules gtfo commie fags

Who /Rounders/ here?

>playing holdem against the casino instead of going to the poker room
kys

Casinos want there to be an illusion that games are all based on chance, if it gets out that someone can count cards and walks into a casino treating it like a free money machine, people are going to figure out for themselves how to do it, and then there goes the casino

Counting cards gives you a better statistical judgement. Wiki has some info about how they counter it or suspect someone is doing it.

but poker is much harder, user

chess gives perfect information to all players, that's why computers already wreck the best players in the world with ease

meanwhile, poker bots get destroyed by legit players, and are only dangerous because they beat fish 24/7 around the clock

i've won money playing poker over time but it's still degenerate regardless if you're a loser or grinding 50 hours a week online

>Sup Forums is filled with low test cucks who don't gamble
Unsurprising with the amount of redditors that came here.

Where to play?

Gambling is like the one crime that Asian Americans are actually over-represented for.

1000 dollar dinner? what? was it cocaine and gold buffet.

Running a business is a gamble, the only difference is we call the casino a "government"

I'd punch this fucking bitch right in her oddly shaped forehead and get out of there

I'm personally always using Pokerstars.

legaluspokersites.com/ look there first though. Heard some US players have problems playing online.

>what are 3michellin star restaurants

Online poker is banned in the US.

THE DEALER DOESNT HAVE A QUALIFYING HAND SO YOU DONT WIN THE CALL JUST THE ANTE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Actual "food" served at 3 Michellin Star restaurant Noma

what are 3michellin star restaurants?

...

It's actually 2.

in america there are only a few cardrooms that you can play in, google around for a full list

Blackchip Poker, Americas Cardroom, and Ignition Poker allow americans to play, that's about it for the most part.

If you live in new jersey or nevada, there are also some cardrooms that let you play online only within the state. Nice thing about those is you can load the account or cash out from the local casinos.

But the games are really tight nowadays compared to the golden age of 10-15 years ago. It's very hard to make money and your edge is slim even if you are good. Online poker gold rush is dead, don't even bother.

...

Counting cards is not illegal, but it is frowned upon by casino management for obvious reasons

i think id rather have the cocaine and gold buffet.

>Do they just randomly go:"oh vey this guy is winning, thats illegal!"

Obvious body language signs, like looking around the table, looking like you're thinking hard, upping your bet when you get to the end of the shoe

That's not how tipping works at the table.

Essentially when you play casino games you are really just playing for the "entertainment" of "trying to beat the odds and win big". There is really no concept of "fair play" involved. The casino retains the right to eject anyone from their premises for any reason.

I have seen them kick a guy out just for winning too much, period. He started with $400 and ended up with $200k at blackjack. There was a whole crowd watching him rake in the dough by the end. "You're too good for us" they said, made him rack up his chips, cash out, and leave. he tipped the dealer $20k before he left.

They don't care if he was counting cards, an honest-to-god psychic, or just the luckiest man on earth. As soon as they realize this guy will break them if he plays indefinitely, they boot him.

the dealer doesnt expect a tip when you lose retard

>named "Chimp Stick" because it was inspired by literal chimps digging ants out of the ground with a stick

nordicfoodlab.org/blog/2013/6/ants-and-a-chimp-stick

Wait am I actually supposed to tip dealers? I'm visiting family this weekend and they are taking me to a casino since I don't have any near me.

no youre not '' supposed to '' its not a restaurant. literally nothing will happen if you dont not even a frown

Most of the cost would be booze, but it's possible to easily run up such a bill if you have a mid sized dinner party.

Why anyone spends that much money escapes me completely.

A casino is a private establishment that can choose not to serve you, just like bakeries can choose not to serve gays.

Oh good. I only brought $100 because I've never been smart enough to walk away with money in my pocket, and they just told me that dinner would be $30-$50 so between that and this I was kind of concerned that I would get to lose two bets, then walk away.

A $1000 dinner for two would typically be $100-150 each for food and then $700-800 for the wine. Food prices rarely get too outlandish, but it is extremely easy to spend ridiculous amounts of money on wine due to individual vineyards becoming world famous and the whole world bidding on their limited annual production.

The wine's usually good at that price, but it's not objectively better than a well-chosen $30 bottle. It's 99% about showing off that you have money to burn.

with 50$ budget you dont need to tip anything to be out in 10minutes lol. min bet are often 10$+ on table games.

you shouldnt go in a casino with anything under 500$ unless you come there for the slots

Degenerate gamblers.

>As soon as they realize this guy will break them if he plays indefinitely, they boot him.
As soon as they start to believe, you mean. When it actually is just a lucky streak, he's likely to start losing at any moment, and they're giving up their chance to win it back.

That's why other casinos will treat a big winner like royalty, so he'll stick around and come back. They'll do stuff like offer him a free luxury suite in the building with meals and drinks, so he can stay late, rest up and gamble it all away the next day.

...and it works. A lucky streak often leads to totally irrational behavior. Hence the concept of "beginner's luck": most problem gamblers were lucky when they first started, and they never quite manage to shake the belief that it's something special about them, rather than mere happenstance.

are you expected to tip the dealer if you lose?

to be fair, $400 to $200k is a ridiculously insane streak

you have to assume the guy has some kind of trick up his sleeve

>female dealer
Absolutely disgusting. Want a lad to shoot the shit with.

Dealers don't talk to sheep, mate

>he thinks based michelin would give a meme like redzepi three stars. what those pellegrino cucks think is irrelephant.
TOPPEST OF KEKS, EVERYONE LAUGH AT THIS UNCULTURED PLEBEIAN

the best fine-dining restaurants in the world. this is a universe that practically nobody on pol knows exists, let alone appreciates.

>spending $700 on wine when you only spent $150 on food
>thinking this is how you into conspicuous consumption
*upper lip curls*

They just don't want to lose money yo.
I got kicked for winning around 100k or so.
And on the way to cash them in the casino tries it's hardest to take your winnings away before you cash out.
Shit like vip "dealers" and penthouse suites

Well, I did have more in mind bottles of wine that cost thousands of dollars.

There's only a handful of restaurants in the world where even the most expensive meals you can order could approach $1000 for two, and those are generally "tasting menus" where they make you a little of all their best things. These are more for reviewers or obsessive gourmets than a conventional dining experience (though there is a stupid fad for "tasting menu restaurants").

$150/each before drinks is a very high-end meal. As I said, it's the wines that people go crazy on.

I know it exists, bitch, I learned about it for French class lol. I've never been in one for obvious reasons you faglord

>VIP Dealers

What the actual fuck is that? How is a VIP dealer any better than a normal dealer? Do normal dealers knock your cards on the ground and VIP dealers do it slightly less?

Special tables and sections for big betters.

I work at a casino

>I lost with pocket rockets
What are you new?

youtube.com/watch?v=193tYXDnrYs

>It's 99% about showing off that you have money to burn.

Why do people do this? Why do they take pride in getting ripped off?

if you did one of those long as fuck like seven course ordeals with wine matching or whatever then 500 a piece doesn't sound all that expensive

Don't blame the player, blame the game, fool

>tipping when you lose gambling

OP needs to learn casino etiquette, is a dipshit.

>actually gambling for profit
>not setting a limit on losses
Only retards lose $500 or more at Casinos.

Gambling is more suited for old people who have nothing better to do with their money, and vacation-goers who know they'll probably lose their wagers.

Casinos aren't for poorfags who know nothing about odds.

Casinos are private establishments.
1) Every second you are in a casino and are not in your hotel room or in a bathroom you are being watched by security.
2) If you are at a gambling table you are watched extra hard.
3) If you are winning big, the casino will send a girl over to entice you to do something else, like buy a drink (returning funds to the casino) or check out a room (returning funds to the casino). Ideally they'll get you away from the table.
4) If that doesn't work, they'll have security ask you to leave. Which means they're kicking you out. It's private property, they're allowed to do it. You get to cash in your chips and then are escorted out of the building and not let back in.

There's nothing wrong with counting cards and winning big. But since you're taking the casino's money, obviously they're going to stop you. Then you just go to another casino and do it again until you're bored or broke.
t. Las Vegas

It fully depends on where you are so if you are in Jersey you have Atlantic city and online gambling, if you are from New York then you have empire city casino and if you are on the west coast you have Las Vegas.

>playing poker is degenerate
You're gonna have to explain that one to me Ahmed.

They mainly do it by watching when you repeatedly up your bet to the table max for a few hands then suddenly drop it to the min/no bet at all.

Interdasting. Is AI poker a potential biz meme? I like poker and chess. Is it not a matter of tweakage before a poker bot could clean house?

That was all the money I had, but let me tell you about the jews.

salon.com/2000/11/22/weimar/

>For instance, Gordon identifies 16 different types of prostitutes, including “telephone girls,” enormously expensive child prostitutes ages 12-17 labeled “Marlene Dietrichs” or “Lillian Harveys” according to their physical attributes. These girls could be ordered by phone and delivered by taxi to the client. There were also so-called minettes, who acted out S/M fantasies, and “demi-castors” (French slang for “half-beavers”), young women from good families who made extra cash by hooking part time.

>Weimar Berlin boasted an equally diverse assortment of lesbian and gay labels. “Sugar-lickers” were nighttime gay pederasts, and “Breslauers” were men with large penises. Lesbians might be ultrafemme “madis,” or tuxedoed, highfalutin “dodos,” and so on.

>“Another thing which distinguished Berlin was the popularity of transvestism,” Gordon notes. “There’ve been transvestites in every culture and time, but in Berlin they organized, they had special clubs and they became an entertainment. Strangely, the lesbians identified with the male transvestites and the homosexual men despised them. The major organization for gay men (the Militant Homosexualists) saw themselves as supermale. Transvestites were at the bottom of their Nietzschean hierarchy.”

>Transvestism proved to be one of the main attractions of Berlin’s burgeoning sex tourism industry. The pathetic situation of the German mark ensured tourists a real deal on the little boy or girl who’d caught their eye, and, unlike other European capitals that employed red-light districts for their sex industries, Berlin had no red-light district, or real censorship for that matter. Indeed, it seems the entire city was a red-light district.

Because nigga I'm so rich I can waste money without even thinking about it. Sheeeeiiit bae show me then titties

They already clean house... even a bot that just plays standard tight poker and never tilts is enough to destroy fish. People park them on the tables 24/7 and they suck all the money out of the fish while taking up a seat the whole time. Even worse, there exist bot "nets" that communicate and collude when two bots manage to get on the same table.

It's not the #1 priority of online poker rooms to stop these bots since they play fairly tight and pay rake the whole time. In a sense, the poker room itself profits in the short run from these bots

>Do they just randomly go:"oh vey this guy is winning, thats illegal!"

You're allowed to win sometimes, user, just not every time you frequent their establishment. The card counters that get caught usually try to take the house for a ride.

This is why every retired NFL football player is bankrupt

>Have paid that much for dinner for 2
>mfw live in commiefornia

Not that tight

Ignition gave me a free $10 to try their room after the switched from Bovada, i rarely play anymore, but used to play $5/10 pretty regularly on Bodog before black Friday.

Anyway, i ran it up to about $27 and was gonna cash out and play some sit n go's.

>until i get dealt AA in the BB and have some faggot felt me chasing a gutshot to the river.

Same as it ever was

Why does anyone gamble? The odds are against you and they dont build casinos because people win money.
I have never gambled in my entire life and look down on people who do.

>gambling for anything you're not prepared to lose

>tfw i learned how to play in it in Red Dead Redemption

>going to casinos for anything other than food or hotels
you get what you get