Sup Forums Colony on Tuvalu

So ive formulated a strategy to capture the capital of tuvalu. i believe we shouldnt take one of the smaller islands first because there is no resources or manpower on them, also it will allow the enemy to counterattack with forces from the capital.

if we take the main island first and if we have enough kawasaki jetskis then we might have a fighting chance at making the enemy capitulate before they call britain.

with this plan we will be able to call britain first and tell them everythings fine and that tuvalu now has a government thats willing to pay the crown more money in exchange for turning a blind eye to the reorganisation of the government of tuvalu

Claiming airport for best country.

Sounds like a plan to me.

So when do we get shipped out to battle sir?

This is where Sup Forums is really going.

as soon as we gather up enough equipment and Sup Forumsack recruits. at this point in time we need at least 100 men, 50-100 kawasaki jetskis, at least 500 cans of energy drinks, guns, ammunition and qt's for the men, and someone with really good wi fi so we can broadcast the invasion live.

pic related is an example of the types of qt's well have once we control the government

>This revolution sponsored by Kawasaki Jet Ski Division

Is Kawasaki sponsoring us?

you don't fool me with your Kawasaki Jetski advertising you jew OP you

>you will see the Kawasaki Jet Ski war in your life time
To what a alive be time

how many of these qt's will the average Sup Forumsack on Tuvalu have access to?

They should be.

I suspect they are a bit blacker than that

Fuck, do you think I can surf there? I'm down for this.

This is so stupid.

I believe every man at arms gets 1 to start, and then everyone picks through the left overs

aren't these people notorious spam-eating cannibals? you guys are literally going to get eaten once you have no spam left to offer them.

Sounds like one of those ancap memes

The pmoftuvalu dude on reddit must be sweating a lot if someone has informed him about these threads

Count me in. Remember, one Finn equals ten Russians.

1-2 per Sup Forumsack for the intial phase

we will not mix with the natives of the island, russian government qt's will flock to our islands once we have full control

there will definetly be time to surf in between collecting taxes and executing via helicopter tours

we will construct a spam factory spliced with estreogen and chemicals and have the villagers work there night and day. if they start acting like niggers then thats when we start acting like its 1939

I SHOTTY BEING MINISTER FOR SHITPOSTING

Speak English only please

Shouldn't Team Yellow focus on the police station and government building instead of the supermarket? I mean free Doritos and Mountain Dew sounds fun, but gaining control of the only possible source of resistance is vital in the early phase.

wow so bossy you must be a white male

It's a shame you don't have a helicopter to spray the island with Diesel so it mixes with the phosphate the island is made of, one hand grenade and the whole place would explode if you got the mixture right. Which would be simple to do with common core maths.

Remember to keep reporting these b tier shit threads

do they import water or what?

Polygamy is disgusting and degenerate

8
ch
/camac/

>no fresh water source
KEK why invade this crap island?

Crossing an air field. Peleilu has some lessons for you

That must have been hard to guess considering my flag.
Also nice trips friendo

Yeah, its simple math, what could go wrong, right?

>Tfw i own a btr 60

...

granted

without a steady supply of energy drinks the entire endeavour will fail. also the islands inhabitants are very fat so they will need sugar. Kawasaki jetski Team Red is the main focus and air support is vital in completly controlling the government building but more importantly the islands entire populace.

mark of the beast speaks the truth

You must firstly control communications, electricity and airport. Fucking supermarket isnt a strategic target. Control communications so they will not be able to mobile effectively.

*mobilize effectively

Fuck off with these retarded roleplay threads already

Also try to surrend decision makers. If you cut your animal's head, body wont move.

i was gonna insult you for being a roach but thats actually a good idea. we need an insider to sabotage there comms and wifi before we begin the invasion

dedicate one Sup Forumsack to videoing this shit I wanna watch you piss your swim trunks when guns start firing

>we can broadcast the invasion live.
So you want UN to involve all this shit. Everything must be in secret. It is better if you find a real citizen of Tuvalu. You would make him president therefore it would increase legitimacy of your invasion in the eyes of international community.

thats why were going for the capitals government building first. capture the officials, make them sign over there islands, then call britain and tell them everythings chill

Why don't we just move to the Falkland islands instead? They only have like 3000 people living there and they have resources like gold and oil.

Brits wouldn't be on board, m80.

>Role play
Keep telling yourself that kiddo, we're taking that fucking island

we wont win unless kek blesses us with digits. it must be livestreamed in a thread

If you declare that you did this invasion for creation of white supremacist state, you will be screwed. Find a real tuvaluan, declare that tuvalu freedom forces initiated a revolution against corruption and nepotism. You will did this for democracy or something like that.

I doubt they will do anything until we out number them. As long as no one spergs out we should be able to get a colony going.

Try it.

We must seize the means of production first for our glorious communist state

Colony will fail there. Tuvalu is going to get under water in the near future, if the projections are correct.

I mean, what could go wrong. Jet skis and spergs with AKs vs a type 45 destroyer, i think 4 eurofighters, and few thousand strong garrison and rumours of a nuclear sub down there.

>Nuclear sub

Did you not see ?
We have that covered.

>beleving the liberty meme
>not realising that the world powers only want money and power

>saudi arabia

>
you misunderestimate the power of misunederstimating your enemy being misunderestimated is our greatest strength

You dont need to declare your own reason. Remember the coup d'etat in july. Isl*mists did it. But they declared that their main target is protection of Atatürk's revolution and secularism. Thus they gained legitimacy in every western capital. You can create death squads if you want but you cant declare it to whole world.

Oh god no taking on the British military would be suicide. This would have to be done diplomatically.
>1 mass Sup Forums immigration to Falklands
>2 out number britbongs
>3 vote for referendum to leave UK
>4 suck off some strong foreign nation so Argentina doesn't rek our shit.

this. we should present ourselves as fighting against imperialism. might even confuse some lefties in the beginning

wasnt half of florida going to be under the sea by 2015?

Fuck dudes, desu i imagine this sort of invasion is the last thing they would expect. Nuclear subs probs arent geared up to shoot at jed skis. It's so crazy it might just work

Pitcairn Islands have 50 population and 30 eligable voter. Plus you can rape 12 year-old lolis in the islands. Its in their culture.

Nah this is funny, besides I really hope a few autists actually try this.

how do we launch the jetskis?
are we just going to jetski across the entire ocean?

he's calling dibs, fellow ameridumb

why not Rockall?

But the Pitcairn Islands are too small.

I know, I just don't want to hear his outback ebonics

>are we just going to jetski across the entire ocean?
Yes.

>implying the UK government would ever support the Republic of Shitpostistan

b-but guys there is no water there? how will Sup Forums get access to fucking drinking water??

They already did... Twice.

bring powdered drinking water?

fucking German education, whats the ocean made of?

syria bro is right. once we have control well tell the world that were peaceful soros loving sjws but take away tuvalus internet access so they cant tell the world of there oppresion under the right wing safety sqauds of the pol islands

yes

We need to strike some sort of deal with another country to import drinking water until we erect our mass desalinators

Install a small nuclear plant on the island that takes the salt out of the ocean water for drinking water

*Provides energy to

saltwater. you should try drinking it anglo

Yup and yup.

I'd get in on this just to be in the "Waterworld Becomes Reality with Real Life Smokers" headline in the Fiji Times

Evaporate it and you are left with what

When?

NOTHING IT ALL EVAPORATED AWAY YOU IDIOT

Okay boys I figured out the drinking water problem, one of us needs to steal a boat and load it with desalinators

Nice try, Kawasaki PR team.

forgot pic

this is gay

Our prophet will be born in Tuvalu praise kek

> pol colony
> aka virgin island
> island competent depopulated within 70 years

...

Why do you decorate your second hand shops in Budapest with British flags? Is it a subtle neg?

my god boys this just might work, dibs on driver

OH YEAH WELL WAIT TILL A BUNCH OF GUYS ALL GET ON THE ISLAND AND MEET UP AND START LIVING TOGETHER AND THEN I DARE YOU TO SAY IT'S GAY

I assume they never replied to the email, right? This is all just LARPing?

Salt.

>Why don't we just move to the Falkland islands instead? They only have like 3000 people living there and they have resources like gold and oil.

Britain has actual armed forces guarding it, including a destroyer or frigate class warship, as well as a small contingent of fighter jets and hundreds of soldiers.

Will we become a modern Nazi Germany?
Can we order a Hitler off of Ebay to run the country for us?
Will we form an alliance with Trump?

These are important questions before I send myself and my sheep off for the war effort.

Can I put a houseboat on that lake and be the supreme Admiral of all the navies?

Every kawasaki jet ski must tow two of pic related

After we land we immediately set up a team of engineers to begin installing