DARK JOKES

Let's have a good ole fashion dark humor thread. Share your funniest jokes and images.
What's the difference between a jarjar binks and the Jews? Nothing they both ruin anything that's good.

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youtube.com/watch?v=kv0iXXAgnhM
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twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

How many black people does it take to start a riot?
-1

A horse walks into a bar

Holocaust

...

3/5

Two Jewish kids are sitting on a roof by a chimney when someone on the street asks "what are you doing?"

The kids reply, "we're waiting for our parents."

heartily keked

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice.

"I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, 'Please, think of my children!'
Kinky bitch."

How come black people only have nightmares?
Because they killed the last one that had a dream.

Ouch

why did Hitler actually kill himself?

cause he saw his gas bill

Pls kill yourself

What did the pedophile rabbi said to a little boy?

"Hey kid, wanna buy a candy?"

checked, also POO IN LOO

Why do indians suck at making jokes?
Because all that microscopic fecal matter they consume in their contaminated water supply eroded there sensory input and pre and frontal cortexes which disabled there sensory output.

So a few nights ago, neighbor was banging on my bedroom wall and moaning. She's single, so I though she had some man over. It stopped after half hour.
Next morning there was an ambulance next to our apartment building and apparently she had a hearth attack and was calling for help. I kinda feel bad for that wank now.

This thread is cancerous and unfunny as shit. Mods pls delet

/r/ing the green Anonymous edit of this now that we're being old-fashioned anyway.

I don't have to. My cancer will ;)

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Why do Ethiopians never take medicine when they are ill?
Because the prescription says to take it after dinner

How do you get a jewish girls number?
Pull up her sleeve

A muslim walks into a gay bar on an empty stomach... Bartender asks him what he would like to drink
The man says "shots for everyone"

Why does an Ethiopian baby cry?
He's having a midlife crisis

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A picture of Jesus only needs one nail to hang

Also check pic related. I can post more dark jokes if you guys want.

>BOZANGA
>don't maek job of me shelduhn iam smart indien

why do cows wear bells?


their horns dont work!!

Take a bullet and unload it in your temple. Then use that same gun to kill yourself

why do scuba divers fall backwords out of the boat?

if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat!!

what do you call cheese that is not yours?


NACHO cheese.

A patient comes to a doctor:
>I have a problem, during sex I just finish too quickly.
Doc says:
>No problem, just buy a starter pistol, when you're near finish, just shoot it in the air and the feeling will go away, you'll be all set for another round.
After few weeks same man comes to doctor.
>Thanks doc, thanks to your advice I'm divorcing my wife.
>Wat???
>I took your advice. Well you see, one day we decided to try 69 before sex. I was close to finishing and shot the starter pistol. Not only she shat my face, but my neighbor came out of closet with raised arms.

Don't ever reply to my thread again monkey. These are white jokes only so you wouldn't get them anyway.

Have some patience boy, it's only a matter of few weeks

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How do you make a baby cry twice?

Clean your dick on their teddy bear.

Checked and Keked

what did the melon say to the strawberry when it wanted to get married

i cant-alope

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A priest and a rabbi see a kid. The priest says "Let's screw him!". The rabbi responds "Out of what?"

>using they

try that joke by replacing they with i or we.


t. a jew

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Why do you need this thread? Sup Forums as a whole is a dark humour board.

What do you call an Mexican chick with one amputated stub foot and dirty feet?

DORITOS bruh

We'll all look back in five or ten years and say "do you guys remember when black lives mattered?"

How does a black woman know if she is pregnant? If she pulls out her tampon and all the cotton has been picked

post more please

if germans are so efficient, why didnt they use industrial ovens for cremating jews but those small for 1 person per cremation?

Why didn't the American cross the road?
They were celebrating Easter on the other side

kek

Why did Moses and his people go through the red sea?
Because he didn't want to bee seen on the street with that scum.

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(((they)))
Fixed

i hate tacos

said no juan ever.

I don't really see what the author is going for here, I now red skull is a villain but he is raising perfectly rational and solid points.

Sooooo much butthurt

A news reporter is on scene at the aftermath of the Orlando shooting interviewing the boyfriend of a victim.
She asks him: "What do you plan to do with your boyfriend's body?".
He replies "I am getting him cremated and turned into a curry.".
"Why do you want to do that?" she asked.
He replies "I just want to feel him dribble out of my ass one last time.".

why did the moron throw the clock out the window?

because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man accused of knife raping his wife

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?

Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

What's the worst part about being a black jew?

Having to sit in the back of the oven.

A social worker, lawyer and a priest are sitting beside one another on a plane when suddenly it starts to go down. The social worker screeches "SAVE THE CHILDREN!", the lawyer says "Fuck the children!", and the priest asks "IS THERE TIME!?"

What do you do when there's a one legged nigger hopping around and bleeding on your porch?

Stop laughing and reload.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and an aborted fetus?

I've never been inside a Ferrari.

youtube.com/watch?v=kv0iXXAgnhM

I was eating this woman out the other day when I had to stop because I'd caught a throatful of tepid horse jizz. I sat back choking, wiped a tear from my eye and said

>oh grandma, so THAT'S how you died

should i tell you the joke about the butter?

nah you might spread it.

Why are there cotton buds in drug bottles?
To remind niggers they were cotton pickers, before drug dealers.

I've got a joke, Women's rights.

should i tell you the joke about the cloud?

nah its over your head.

Manchester United fans discuss what should be done with Fellaini.

- How about we loan him to Chapecoense? They certainly gonna need players.
- Come on, man. They've been through enough.

The reason you're so fat, is because your father gave you a cookie every time he came inside you.

A Canadian Gardner needed some help watering his plants so he went to his neighbor and said: "can I borrow your jose?"

Why do niggers hate aspirin?

>They have to pick cotton to get at it
>It's white
>It works

Q: how many darkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: it only takes one

A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic.

>"I was raping a woman the other night and

This a joke thread, not an anecdote thread, Rapejeet.

underrated

They're hillarious.
Please go on!

How many newfies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We don't give a fuck, we'll drink in the dark.

A man walks into a bar
He's an alcohol and is destroying his family
haha

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nobody knows, it's dark

>He's an alcohol

Dark humor is like an African child. It never gets old.

A Jew, a black man and a priest are sitting at the bar, until the Jew pays the tab for everyone and wishes everyone a goodnight

And who said serbian humor was bad.

British Union of Fascists should be on the top row

auswaertiges-amt.de/EN/EinreiseUndAufenthalt/StaatenlisteVisumpflicht_node.html

Kek

Why diddn't the Jews fight in the second world war? They were at summercamp.

These got me. God damn it.

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I don't get it

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-Knock Knock
Who's there?
-You're inevitable death
Come in, I've been expecting you.

oh i am laffin now.

Ok here I go:
-How do you pick up Jewish girls?
With a broom and dustpan

-Why do Jews get circumsized at birth?
Because Jewish women wont touch anything that's not 20% off.

-How does an Ethiopian climb a tree?
Through the ribcage of his brother

-What's the difference between a black guy and dog shit?
The dog shit eventually turns white and stops smelling

-How do you start a rave in Africa?
Tape a piece of bread to the ceiling

-Difference between a bench and a black guy?
A bench van support a family

More?

Who are the fastest readers in America?
New Yorkers! They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.

Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it

YOU ONLY MEME TWICE

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Hillary Clinton on November 9th

wtf I like red skull now

God damn it Serbia.

Repeating 7s confirm

It was from old anti-joke threads on Sup Forums like 7 years ago. Thought someone might recognize it

Why are there no pigs in Saudi Arabia?

Because they are not prepared to live around a bunch of filthy, stinking Arabs.