Be american

>be american
>wake up and pour a bowl of High-Fructose Sugar Clumps™
>drive to work in my Chevy super truck 3000 that handles like I'm driving a king size bed
>listen to some true blue american hood culture on the radio
>drop daughter to Tyrone and Jamal's for morning reparations before school
>pick up my morning coffee (long black with 1 shot of coffee and 3 shots of caramel syrup, room temperature)
>sit in traffic for 30mins
>remember I need to stop at the strip mall because its my day to pick up the glazed donuts for work
>park car, Dacquan knocks on the car window
>get shot, it takes Dacquans whole gang to drag me from my car
>shart
>Hernandez steals wallet from my dying body

...

I'm not actually British, I'm a jet lagged Australian

While you're here, why do Germans all look like pork?

>be british
>wake up to to the call to prayer of the nearby mosque
>make self some plum pudding because its the only edible thing in britain
>hop into your vauxhall, it breaks down right next to your job
>whip out a plastic knife at lunch, people freak out and SWAT is called in
>finish working, witness a beheading
>go home to slag wife and drink to till you pass out

>be american
>not exercising 2nd amendment right to carry a gun to shoot that niggers face off

you're talking about a very small minority

>be british
>make a post saying you should lower Muslim immigration
>20 years in prison, 500000 quid fine for hate speech

>be american
>wake up and pour a bowl of High-Fructose Sugar Clumps™ because I am free to choose to do so
>drive to work in my Chevy super truck 3000 that handles like I'm driving a king size bed because I am free to choose to do so
>listen to some true blue american hood culture on the radio because I am free to choose to do so
>drop daughter to Tyrone and Jamal's before school because I am free to choose to do so
>pick up my morning coffee (long black with 1 shot of coffee and 3 shots of caramel syrup, room temperature) because I am free to choose to do so
>sit in traffic for 30mins because I am free to choose to drive to work if I want
>remember I need to stop at the strip mall because its my day to pick up the glazed donuts for work because while it is not required, we are free to show comraderie at work by doing so
>park car, Dacquan knocks on the car window
>get shot, it takes Dacquans whole gang to drag me from my car
>shart
>Hernandez steals wallet from my dying body
>thanks liberals for ruining my freedom

>be britcuck
>be responsible for creation of canada

the blood is on your hands faggot

>Be British
>Teeth are so yellow that putting them in the microwave produces popcorn with extra salt

Do you bongs honestly believe this meme about Muricans?

>Be Canadian
>Smoke weed
>Lmao

Story is fake, not a single person clapped.

>be british
>morning adhan wakes you up
>thick fog and grey skies and the air smells like wet dog
>another beautiful english morning
>enjoy a breakfast of tea and beans on toast
>ride your bicycle to work at the plastic cutlery factory
>go through multiple security clearances and full body pat down
>take a deep breath as you brace for another day at one of britain's most dangerous jobs
>greet your coworkers Mohamed and Ahmed as you walk in
>they make the same money as you even though you've been working there for 15 years but you don't mind, they need the money more than you
>12 bong of the big ben signals your lunch break
>enjoy a lunch of tea with beans on toast
>Mohamed and Ahmed get 6 breaks throughout the day but you don't mind. it's part of their religion
>ride your bicycle home to your dusty 1 bedroom flat where you enjoy a supper of tea and beans on toast
>have your nightly gentlemanly wank and tea to the new BLACKED video
>try to fall asleep amid the nog violence outside and the pain from your decaying teeth
>god bless the queen

AND THE LEAVES COME THROUGH AGAIN

>Wake up
>Realize I'm Canadian
>Mfw there are 360 million poor souls called "Americans"

Thank you god for the gifts you have given us.

i dont get how people can drive econboxes and smart cars without hating it. seriously get yourself a decent sized truck (nothing stupid and lifted) and you will feel much safer and see the roads better.

ooooo-kay let's see how many ya got:

>be american
>wake up and pour a bowl of High-Fructose Sugar Clumps™
>sit in traffic for 30mins
>remember I need to stop at the strip mall because its my day to pick up the glazed donuts for work

4/12 arrows is only 33%, sorry you failed the test.

they're evolving a defence mechanism

>when your country's history is mostly comprised of getting ass-kicked by the Mongolians, Chinese, and Japanese so you have to over exaggerate everything

Oi thats looks fucking yummy I mate I do love me a bit of them saucy peas on toast.

>be Bong
>suck

>be a jet lagged Ozfag
>suck even more

Kek

Fucking hell, I didn't get that at first

Hahahahahah

> A fucking leaf attempting humor.

FUCK OFF LEAF CUNT

>Be American
>Ruin the one opportunity for a majority white world

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