First Ladies

Hello.

I am a 62 year old veteran and I wish to share a ritual that I've held for as long as I can remember. Every year on my birthday (Feb 4th) I must masturbate to the current first lady of the United States.

I missed the ritual one year due to being in hospital, and for the rest of the year I had the worst luck until I was able to perform the ritual again. The bad luck started out slow, getting caught in the rain, getting splashed by cars driving through puddles, getting reprimanded for being late for work due to unavoidable traffic, etc. The bad luck got worse as time went on and culminated in the loss of my beloved pet dog, Pinchy, my best friend for many years.

Regardless, I've had it tough all these years, what with many of the first ladies being absolute dogs, by-and-large. Michelle Obama has been very difficult to masturbate to, and I have had to get myself very drunk before even attempting to do the deed.

I am very happy right now, however, because Melania Trump will be the easiest first lady to masturbate to, ever. This is especially important as I get older, my libido isn't what it used to be!

Do any of you kids do something similar?

PS: I'm not even American.

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I think I may have to join you on this tradition user.
>No homo

I could get used to this

It's good to have a hobby, but I'll skip this and just have normal sex with my girlfriend.

Any vids or pics?

..... For proof of course

11/10

But Ivanka will be first lady.

>on my birthday I must masturbate to the current first lady

dude youre cool as fuck

DELET E THIS

This is a very good post

thanks for giving me a new tradition to do, lad

Why desu? Why do you care whether a Jewish woman blacked or not? It supposed to be a good thing that Jewish women are being culturally enriched.

How was it wacking it
8x to Michael Obama
8x to the mexican housekeeper bush
8x Hilary Cunton

any of them difficult?

Fapping to Hillary must be awesome. I had done before.

Imagine if Jeb had won.

Hilary was qt in the day before soros and the jews sucked her soul out in exchange for political power

DELETE THIS

Thank you grandpa of masturbation for sharing this with us.

May the good luck be with you

OP you are definitely in the right place.

She's not Jewish you retard

hello friend toy seem to be lost!

Please follow the link back home :)

>wizchan.org/

>you

I MEANT YOU FOR FUCKSAKE BUTTER FINGERS

it's a shame you didn't have to rub one to bill clinton this year, probably the only good thing if she had won

You can find lots of pics of the first lady on Google, the internet is wonderful, I used to have to buy magazines and newspapers and hold onto them for years!

It's been a long time since anyone called me lad! How old are you?
I refer to the 8 years fapping to Michelle as "the dark years", I think there's a pun in there somewhere.

>he would have to keep on telling himself that he's not gay for 4-8 years if she'd won

Fuck, does anybody have that other masturbating to Trump pasta? The one where he masturbates to each of Donald's children on each day of the week?

kek confirms it, you are hetero as the sun is hot

so you jerked it to a picture of obama for 8 years? fuuck. (everyone knows that michelle is a man)

no, she's a kike alright, we don't care about your trivial conversion standards.

I never had any grandparents to impart wisdom to me due to the all being dead.
Going through a dark patch at the moment and was wondering if you had any advice.

1 microsecond
explains that and my name :^)

>the dark years
Kek

Im guessing that you are REALLY glad hillary lost, because fapping to zombie bill 8 times would be pretty shit.

So happy all the best and brightest Sup Forumstards have grown up and migrated to Sup Forums, the artistic works of fiction and falsehood have gotten amazing here in recent years

kys and do it quickly

Yes, yes you do, that's why you say that she's a kike, because Jews declared that she is. You are such a goddamn fucking cuck, holy shit.
Do you even know how genetics work? If you'll marry a nigger would that make you a nigger?
She might be religiously Jewish but she's not a Jew.

it's almost like Sup Forums is most of what europe colonized, and Sup Forums is europe itself...

Forgot pic

You have lost a toy? I don't understand.

Can't say I do anything similar but I would say I'd probably give the tradition up if a dog like Michelle Obama came into play. Would reinstate for this year though.

May Kek be with you.

Oh, I understand now.

I've had a few drinks this Christmas.

I still Whack it to the First Grandma.

>Do any of you kids do something similar?
No sir. I wish you happy flapping all the same.

Keep them coming

No sir I do not have any fap rituals, but I wish you well and hope nothing disturbs you on the 4th.

>lady

More like transsexual, amirite

she was just the prostitute they hired to summon obama into this world

They have all been Men.

What if Shillary had won?

You would have had to jack off to Bill?

I know you wrote this to get a screencap on r/Sup Forums but i actually want to do this.

>Widowed at 25, she had four children with her first husband Daniel Parke Custis. Two of her children by Custis survived to young adulthood. She brought great wealth to her marriage to Washington, which enabled him to buy land and many slaves to add to his personal estate. She also brought nearly 100 dower slaves for her use during her lifetime; they and their descendants reverted to her first husband's estate at her death and were inherited by his heirs.[2] She and Washington did not have children together but they did rear her two children by Daniel Parke Custis, including son John "Jacky" Parke Custis, as well as helped both of their extended families.
So... The George Washington was a cuck...

>be old af
>still be newfag
lurk more. You don't want to be remembered as a shitposter. Neat ritual though, I'll have to give it a shot.

>...with print-outs for her paper bag.

>normal sex
>once a week at best
kys

is that juice of the watermelon

>If you'll marry a nigger would that make you a nigger?
Yes

Fucking turkroach