Brit/pol/ - You Lazy Bastards Edition

Merry Christmas you lazy bastards.

>Watch: Theresa May sends exclusive Christmas message to the Armed Forces
telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/24/watch-theresa-may-sends-exclusive-christmas-message-armed-forces/

>Jeremy Corbyn addresses homelessness in Christmas message
telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/24/jeremy-corbyn-addresses-homelessness-christmas-message/

>May: Britain must unite after EU vote
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38417101

>UK economic growth revised up to 0.6%
bbc.co.uk/news/business-38413787

>'Don't stand in our way!' Ukip leader Paul Nuttall calls for faster Brexit in 2017
express.co.uk/news/politics/747099/brexit-paul-nuttall-ukip-european-union-britain-exit

>CLOSE THE BORDERS: Europe’s migrant crisis puts UK at risk of Berlin-style terror attack
express.co.uk/news/politics/747054/Close-European-Union-borders-Schengen-Area-migrant-crisis-Berlin-terror-attack

>Archbishop of Vienna: Migrant Crisis Has Gone Too Far, Better to Help Asylum Seekers In Their Home Countries
breitbart.com/london/2016/12/24/archbishop-vienna-migrant-crisis-gone-beyond-ability-europe-cope/

>European Lefties Plan to March on ISIS While Waving White Flags
breitbart.com/london/2016/12/24/lefties-marching-aleppo-stop-war/

>Unsung MPs quietly making Britain better
theguardian.com/politics/2016/dec/24/after-jo-cox-the-unsung-mps-quietly-making-britain-better

>The wartime origins of Carols from King’s
blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/12/wartime-origins-carols-kings/

>Corbyn highlights 'shocking rise' of homelessness in Christmas message
independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-corbyn-highlights-the-shocking-rise-of-homelessness-in-official-christmas-message-a7493841.html

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/oGNMjo29WsI
septicscompanion.com/
theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/25/british-councils-used-investigatory-powers-ripa-to-secretly-spy-on-public
youtube.com/watch?v=rjuzjvwVqOU
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38432862
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

nth for a doomed society

yeah because you cunts can't bother to put down the wotsits and make a new thread

seriously

...

youtu.be/oGNMjo29WsI

Christmas choon

Thanks for helping me out on english. I am learning quite a lot.

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That picture makes me so happy you have no idea, fuck the snp.

...

I-is this pic real?

Is Scotland about to have a right wing renaissance?

more

Think I've overdone it on the Christmas dinner lads...

Who /feel like shit/ here?

I was wanting to get proper smashed but there was only 11 people at the Christmas party so I couldn't.

Next year I'm booking out a pub and getting the extended family in on it.

what's all this about then ?

> Power cut today
> Local pub allows us to go cook our turkey there
> Everyone else in the neighbourhood present
> All turkey's cook at the same time
> Neighbours all enjoying our food as one big family
> Old geezer playing christmas tunes on an out of tune piano
> Sharia patrol comes in
> No music allowed
> All forced to pour our £4 cava down the toilet
> Fined £1000 jizzyah
> Landlord got beheaded and Dot Cotton as stoned to death

Pretty good Christmas

more...

I do...

I started too early to get smashed
I started drinking with breakfast
then had my Christmas dinner after a few drinks
was impossible to get a buzz back after that

>lit as fuck
kek

Here's a good word that most of brit/pol/ will associate with:

>Limerence - a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated.

It's an improvement but even our conservatives are pretty far left, if ukip or an actual right wing party stood here they would probably sweep the board. Problem is the snp lowered voting to 16 because they know that younger voters are pressureed to all go snp.

We're teaching a savage to speak the Queens apparently.

I think I have depression from reading about history lads what do?
>tfw reading about the British Empires fall is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

i'm guessing it's a list of words he's learnt from browsing brit/pol/

I've compiled a list of some of the english expressions and fancy words the lot of you use.

It'll come at hand when I move to Chester

pressured* too many cans the night

Christ, you're not wrong.

>limerance

just wrote that one down

It's run-OF-the-mill, not run-ON-the-mill.

it means basic, stripped-down.

i'm scottish too mate no need for an explanation. the tories are barely right wing anywhere in britain aside from a few token high tories like rees-mogg but at least it's a start.

Would it have been possible to save if you could go back in time and be in control

Same.
>tfw I will never be the King of Ireland

>Limerence

And i'm not even the mummy poster

septicscompanion.com/

cant tell if youre drunk or a retard m8

The problem lies with the density though.

The SNP have cut their campaign resources from the North East because they know Aberdeen and the surrounding area is a lost cause, same goes for places like the Borders.

But to them, those areas are backwaters and the true prizes lie in the Central Belt.

If this prediction is accurate, it will cause a political rift between the Glasgow-Edinburgh corridor and the rest of Scotland. Rural folk will be shitting on the city folk and vice-versa.

That you frankie?

>Single market.
>Freedom to migrate to any member state.
>Aesthetically pleasing flag and a nice sounding anthem.

>the EU gives a shit about the environment
What a fuckwit.

I'd have knowledge of the future so maybe.
>stay out of ww1, treat the Americans like the enemy they are and form the Imperial federation.

Too bad I can't trust other European nations with controlling their own immigration. I don't have a problem with Germans, Swedes or Frenchmen having free movement in Britain. It's more the fact that free movement includes all the muzzies that they decide to let in their countries too.

It'll be like Goodnight Sweetheart but if Rodney died

I am my own Mike pence

I'm drunk and every Christmas I thank god no one knows I secretly want to be a girl. But I repress because I know that my faith in God will overpower the disease of the flesh

And that's why my family doesent hate me and I have friends. And I never need fear being a freak to the world or fear what I look like.

When my natural death comes. It will be gone forever

>Penceposter is a roleplaying poofter
Predictable desu

I would put my willy in your bum m8

It already is that way to be honest, my family were from the highlands but moved down years ago and pretty much turned from respectable people into alcoholic, drug addicted scum. Something about the central belt just changes people for the worst. Because of the highland clearances the proportions are all wrong, working class people live in the central belt, middle class people live in the outer towns and the various cities across the country and the upper class tend to live in villages, each views the others with contempt.

What ereader should I get lads?
I'm not too fussed about having a backlight, do the ereaders with a backlight strain your eyes?

Anybody a fapping addict wanting to stop next year lads?

What do you think Nige did for Christmas?

theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/25/british-councils-used-investigatory-powers-ripa-to-secretly-spy-on-public

Councils spying on dog walkers and pigeon feeders. And that's just the ones who responded

Yep.

Tip: I don't recommend cold turkey

Cut down slowly

>Tip: I don't recommend cold turkey

Not even on my sarnies tomorrow?

PRITI PATEL IS A FUCKING PAKI CUNT. So much for being "Based Patel".

>It's right to spend money on the helpless and on those in need.

She's now defending the the ringfenced £12.6bn foreign aid budget whilst the country continues nosediving into oblivion and ostrich politics.

4 course dinner with the extended family is my guess

JUST GOT 10 FUCKING QUESTIONS RIGHT ON UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

AHHHHHH

And I would fucking batter you you fucking degenerate.

This isn't some cutest tsundere sit. Fuck you armed your whole diseased community

Is a man a poof if he only dates girls and has never had any sexual contact with males?

Piss off. I control this affliction

What's the point in quitting
Just stop watching porn

>get really into one of those hands free orgasm hypno thingies
>suddenly keeps buffering
>deal with it for a good 10 mins
>get annoyed
>look up at pc
>torrent was downloading so it was making it buffer
annoyed

More like 'Universally Challenged'

Cutting down on my drinking and wanking massively next year, will probably only do both once or twice a week. I need to exert some control over my life

Fuck off.

>mfw

More fool anyone who took the new cabinet's words and suggestions at face value. Hence the age-old saying - never trust a Tory. Dont vote for the cunts, then maybe we won't get pissed all over yet again.

No.

Veganism gives the best testosterone boost fot white alpha males.

>Veganism gives the best testosterone boost fot white alpha males.

True.

Nothing boosts my testosterone more than when I am kicking fuck out of a scrawny vegan for berating me when using a plastic fiver.

I said addicts. Big difference.

I can's stop watching forced lesbian sex...

I wish my love compass would stop pointing due south more often.

;(

Good job lad.

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Kek

Queer. What do you even mean "I want to be the little girl"? Everyone occasionally thinks "wouldn't it be fun to have a cracking pair of tits for a day" but it doesn't mean anyone would actually consider being a tranny freak.

Never trust a career politician more like.

Lib cucks are scum
Commie Labour are scum
Tories are scum
SNP are traitorous scum.
Green party are hippy insane scum.

The voting system is archaic aswell which allows the chief two parties total control no matter what.

John Tolly is a Lib Dem councillor in the borough of Kingston.

>'Surreal' Is Merriam-Webster's Word of 2016 After Trump, Cubs Victories

Brexit and Leicester were far more surreal, I thought..

Yeah but it's either that or lab-lib-snp-grn coalitions for eternity

Is he really? Bloody hell they give out those verified stickers like sweets.

is discovering our lord and saviour Jesus Christ the final pill to swallow before we can truly save our civilisation?

If any of you want a very comfy video to watch when you've got an hour to spare, perhaps as you get ready to go to bed, this conversation between Mark Steyn and Conrad Black will do just the trick:
youtube.com/watch?v=rjuzjvwVqOU

How much you been drinking weekly?

Never been religious but it seems like a waste of time tbqh, gf is celtic pagan though and that's an even bigger waste of time and money, always leaving out food and shit, going to end up with ants.

Yeah suppose so, though Tories seem to take particular glee in malicious acts. Big fucking government shakeup when?
They're Anerican to be fair, they're bound to focus on their own bollocks

Fuuucking hell, George Michael just died.
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38432862
What a year.

>watching Father Ted Christmas Special while eating a cheeseboard with my sister

How can I be 27 and doing this

2016 needs a name.

No idea who but this year has been a wild ride.

>bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38432862

Was this his last Christmas?

>bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38432862

Holy fuck it's legit

Maybe 20-30 units a week on average. Been a lot higher this week what with my birthday and Christmas so close together.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll pop me fucking clogs

>watching tv at christmas
>spending time with close family
>eating cheese

there is literally nothing wrong with any of these things no matter what age you are

Oh fuck...

2016 is fucking ruthless.

>tfw didnt get me heart back in time

...

>tfw live right through the 80's and Wham and Georges music is a part of my youth

>Socialist upheaval never
>Nationalist upheaval never
>Sottish civil war never

Why is British politics so boring?

Crown Dependency of Aberdeen City, Grampian and the Northern Isles when?

Another degenerate banished.

Fuck u