Born as the 4th child to a 43 year old mother and 46 year old very tired father

>born as the 4th child to a 43 year old mother and 46 year old very tired father
>show autistic tendencies since birth
>father gives up on me, he never wanted more than 3 kids anyway
>mother is a psychologist with a specialty in child psychology, so she's convinced she can fix me
>mother and him divorces when I'm 5
>father becomes a reclusive alcoholic
>mother gets tired and start controlling me through fascist rules
>move to the capital later on
>mother is down with the whole multiculturalism thing, so she moves us to the middle of a ghetto
>mugged the first time at knifepoint when I was 13
>mother couldn't understand why I got more and more depressed and reclusive
>spend most of my time on my computer
>mother invents a debt system to force me to get part time work after school and pay off this debt
>Lied to her? $100 on the list. Came home late? $100. Spent some of my own money without asking her? Whole amount + $100 on the list
>get stress at age 16
>mother doesn't give a shit, basically tells me to man up
>I start getting into drugs to cope
>become a degenerate junkie
>drop out of school
>mother doesn't know how to handle it
>kicks me out from home when I'm 18
cont.

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>I live as a homeless for half a year
>lose 60lb, spending only cash I get on weed and very little food
>mother sees me like this and gives me what she calls a "second chance"
>live on a mattress on her living room floor for half a year while working a telemarketing job and trying to get a dorm room
>finally get one and move out
>spend 3 years trying to get myself back on track
>finish high school, work a decent job, handle my own bills
>about to apply for university
>go to doctors appointment to have a look at a mole I have
>he sees something seriously wrong with me
>blood pressure check, EKG, blood tests
>I get diagnosed with high blood pressure, stress, and clinical depression as a 23 year old
>refuse to get antidepressants and blood pressure medicine
>do some serious introspection
>I have no idea what I want to do in life
>this entire time I've just followed along with my mother's idea of what I should do
>tell her out on all the bullshit she's done and kindly ask her to fuck the hell out of my life and leave me alone
>my siblings go all "ahh how can you do this to your mother that gave you everything!"
>they believe her lies about how it's all my fault for being a degenerate when it's her who pushed me into it to begin with
>say fuck em all
>drop out of school
>take a gorrilion shifts at work
>apply for a year's visa in a country on the other side of the planet
>pack my shit for living on the road
>now working my ass off until I leave

At least the years of drug abuse have left me with a slight personality and awareness of myself, so I'm not a complete autist now.

So tell me, why should I ever trust women? I have no intentions of ever having kids or getting married.

at least ur not a nigger

I'd honestly be okay with being black, if it ensured a normal and proper upbringing.

upvote

put me in the screencap reddit faggots

It will be okay, user. You're gong to be okay.

It better be okay.

After the doctor's visit, I spent an hour in the shower fondling a knife. I decided it was either slit my wrists there and then, or get the fuck out and dodge.

I hope I didn't make the wrong decision.

Even if I get better, I'm not going to have kids or settle down. That's such a ridiculous concept to me now.

Your mother was a shitty mom, user. A lot of young men suffer from what is known as "single mom syndrome" which is essentially a liberal, divorced mother shoving her beliefs and projecting her own disappointments onto their offspring while trying to live vicariously through them. You turned out alright though. I say fuck em.Come to the US and start your own life, and when you make it be sure to write and tell them you did this all on your own. Godspeed.

>Come to the US and start your own life
If anything, I'll start my own life somewhere in Asia. I'm done with the hypocrisy of the West for now.

you can come to Japan nigger mouth, I've met lots of gaijin fuckheads here more degenerate than you.

you can't stay with me but you can come here anyway if your country is in the working holiday visa thing which I don't know if it is and don't care to look up

Japan is actually where I'm headed, and yeah, I got a working holiday visa.

I'll be bumming around the countryside, though. Sleeping in a tent, cooking over a fire, fishing, woodworking, those kind of things.

Fix your body by eating well, thinking right and exercising. Work hard and become a man.

Yeah well it doesn't...

Where are you from, originally?

cool, you'll have a good time. Japan is great if you're not a salaryman or junior high school student

I've always wondered why people kill themselves over just moving to a completely new place and starting anew. But I guess it's easier said than done.

Denmark.

I've been talking to a lot of Japanese people since I started planning my journey. You all seem very nice and worthy of respect. I'll be sure to be on my best behavior while in your country.

If you're that far out and that hopeless about your own life, it really is a difficult choice.

Your mom was a shitty mom.
A boomer + a single mom...two of the worst combinations known to mankind. Just find a career that will allow you a decent living with minimal stress, and find a quiet, laid back place to live out your days. You will be alright, user.

>So tell me, why should I ever trust women? I have no intentions of ever having kids or getting married.

dont get married
enjoy every penny of your money
i advise not on degenerate things (drugs,tattoos,prostitutes)
if you are ever interested in sailing, get a boat
if you like cars, buy an expensive ass car
if you like motorcycles, get one but dont kill yourself
just live like a king and when you get tired, try and assess if you'd like a woman.
but for now, i dont advise you to be serious with anyone. youre in a fragile state and women are manipulative.

anyway, good luck user it seems you have money on your hands and time for yourself.
that really sounds so good desu

I don't know if I like any of those things. I haven't really had a chance to explore myself yet.

You are just a degenerate junkie weakling.
Kys my man

...

Your first 2 posts described a good black parent. If you were born as a nigger you likely wouldn't have been that lucky.

well now is a good time to know.
dont be so down user.
time away from famalam is good.
you miss them, you dont hear the shit they say, they seem good in your eyes from afar.
i wish i had the time and money, but i dont, so i'm rooting for ya.

Nice blog fag

nice poverty, cunt.

I already miss them. Worst part is that I feel like I'm missing a lie.

>I'm done with the hypocrisy of the West for now.
You'll get to learn the hypocrisy of the East. ;^)

Fucking weeaboos, have fun shitting in a bucket because those are the only countries that would let you immigrate

Remember, all the people who will try to push you into the rat race are either women or men shilling for women.

Do try to keep track of your blood pressure as it can have serious adverse health effects.

Good luck and take it easy.

>Japan is actually where I'm headed
There is no geographical solution to an emotional problem

Still wish you good luck

Sucks man - Hopefully everything gets better. Check Audible for The Power of Habit and No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline for Success in Your Life.

They are life changing - You start seeing people actions as a result of a specific set of habits. Once you break it apart like this, life's videogame becomes so much simpler to play.

Keep up the great effort brah!

Who talked about emigrating? I have visa free entry in 68 countries, and I'm going to abuse that until I run out of cash. Then I'll head back home, or kill myself if a trip like this changes nothing.

I've begun "meditating" and taking fish oil. Already my blood pressure is lower than it's been for years. Not being pressured by my family helps a lot.

True, but at least it's fucking far away from the bullshit that's been causing me emotional problems.

Embrace national socialism. It's time for men to rule again and put women in their place. Women only ruin society, democracy only lets morons destroy what white men have built.

It's time to man up for real, but not in the way all these cunts want you to. Become a proud white man, fraternize with like-minded individuals and become one with your proud ancestors.

Onward to victory.

youtube.com/watch?v=ncWM6OdSj3Y

Crazy mom.

No dad.

It's an old fucking story dude. You're doing the right thing.

Forgive women. Your mother does not represent all of them.

Move on from your family. By leaving, the other kids will have to deal with your mom's crazy and once you re-enter their lives will probably be able to empathize with you a bit more.

You're on the right track.

then check on them. play it cool. make it sound like you dont care. but just give them a quick call.
or go back if you want. but youre on a journey for yourself so.. thats like a contradiction.
anyway, as long as youre not knee deep in narcotics and being buttfucked by a meth dealer, youre okay being away from them.

Why is that guy sittings on KitKats?

he on a break, son

Women, not even once. Pathological monsters.

Like most jap posters on Sup Forums, I'm a gaijin, although I've been here long enough that I have permanent residency

I've already had to speak to my oldest sister about formalities in case of death - either mine or theirs.

She seemed to support my decision, but what do I know. She might've been told to play the middleman by my mother.

You could always try and take your mother to court for unfair child rearing or something of that nature.

At least you can then be NEET and have satisfaction in knowing that you were right all along. I'm in a similar predicament with my mom and I cannot wait to see how it turns out especially now that I'll be 24 this year and my sister will be 11 (my mom is 56).

This. Where ever you go, there you are, I've met a lot of people who were shocked to see there problems waiting for them at the airport when they arrived over the years.

He's not going to find a solution to all his problems in a little box hidden in the back room of a temple somewhere, but the trip will change him. It may change him in that way that he needs so that he can create a solution to his problems.

You mentioned smoking the herbal Jew in your degenerate past; I'm sure others have cautioned you but let me caution you again: don't try that here. You can be forgiven for a lot of things as a foreigner that Japanese maybe wouldn't get away with, but any kind of drugs and it's game over.

It all depends on what baggage you decide to bring with you.

Hey user

I have also been fucked over by my mother, although not as hard since my dad was still around

The meme that women = perfect and mothers = sacrifice much and help their children is pretty shitty.

Some people ,especially female professionals, cant handle the idea of fucking up this bad so they pretend it wasn't their fault. Works most the time

as long as they are not interfering with your plans, just go through with it. and call them every now and then, if you feel like you have to. gaijin over here is giving good tips seems like you have a lot to prepare for. anyway, preparing is shit but could be a little interesting too, keeps your mind off of things.

you shouldn't

I don't really feel like spending time in prison, get deported, and get a travel ban, so no, I won't be smoking weed when I get to Japan.

some have okay moms and some have absolute cunts.

i still have faith in some moms.
(PS. i dont mean i fug milfs)
im just obviously being emotional like a PMS-ing woman.

>>they believe her lies about how it's all my fault for being a degenerate when it's her who pushed me into it to begin with

your mom was a total bitch and a shit mom, but you made the decision to get into drugs, you don't get to blame anyone else for it

t. Drug addict for 9 years who is finally going to rehab

I was in very similar situation some ten years ago. Left for SE Asia for a few months, came back for a couole weeks then got work in Alaska for a couple months. Got back and left for a road trip down west coast for about a year. Joined the Army, went to Afghanistan, Lunar, COP Pirtle King. Killed some mountain trolls, got some medals, a couple broken bones and a bit of titanium.

All in all close to a decade 'gone'.

Fuck my mom, she's a backstabbing piece of shit. Dad is a stumbling, raging, blackout, drunk not worth a damn.

Leave and don't look back. Not for friends, family or familiarity.

Make a new...You WILL find yourself eventually.

I've been more places and seen more shit than just about anyone alive in my bloodline and I would do it all over again...Except for one thing, mostly...
...
..
.
tl;dr - Don't get married or have children with a western woman...She WILL betray you and fuck up your children just like your mom and sister can and did.

Yeah, because you make a lot of conscious decisions when you're a 16yo stressed out autistic loser.

Being through all that garbage, you stick to what feels good in the moment.

>>spend most of my time on my computer
>>mother invents a debt system to force me to get part time work after school and pay off this debt
>>Lied to her? $100 on the list. Came home late? $100. Spent some of my own money without asking her? Whole amount + $100 on the list

Fuck man that really sucks. I can't wait for pol to find a way this is the jews fault.

"Wahhhh my life's so hard my mummy was horrible! It's not like I wasted all my money on drugs and turned down a professional doctors advice!" Ffs pol is so shit nowadays. It's filled with Reddit tier blog posts that are disguised by just shoving in a 'so this happened to me so why should I do x'. Yeah, your mum was horrible, women can be cunts. But I've had plenty of male friends who have fucked me over just as bad.

Fu nigger , you can get 1300jewros from working part time in McDick.

>you make a lot of conscious decisions when you're a 16yo stressed out autistic loser.

yes exactly, YOU make a lot of conscious decisions

she may have had influence, but its on you sucka

I worked from I was 13 to I was 18 without getting a dime of my own salary.

It's true she didn't put that first joint in my hands. But she did very well at pushing me to that point.

you mean he doesnt have to leave Europe and just work at McDick?

>talk about aiming high

this
what do germans think of the man in the high castle? has there been a discussion about this show in your country?

>not a dime of your own salary
>could afford drugs like a degenerate
Hmmm, something doesn't quite add up there, kiddo.

>>mother is down with the whole multiculturalism thing, so she moves us to the middle of a ghetto

Danes have ghettos? Mother of God

>aiming high
Be schizo effeminate estrogentitsman
>aim high
>die because your retarded parents ruined your life and thought you nothing of value nor could they ever communicate properly with you , traumatizing you for life and making you a worthless leisure

your vocabulary is pretty wide for someone who advertises working at McDick's

its normal for people to want to be something.
some are pushed by their parents, others just want jobs that make them think.

Nice blog

Cripple fight !

nah the other guy left.
he had 59 kids to feed.

Have a feels friend, it's not your fault for this degeneracy we've experienced, it was our modern western environment, these places are a burden to the soul. We must be thankful that we are aware and not blindly burning our essences anymore. I pray for your very happy and successful future to kek, I know you deserve it brother.

Exactly, he wants everyone to hug him better and tell him how he's clearly in the right, when in fact he's a massive degenerate.

in America a disturbingly large percentage of black children don't have their fathers in their lives

That's why we never see Kanye West's dad

>get a gun
>serve the god emperor

DO IT FAGGOT

I pawned off most items I owned that I could pawn off.

Severely underrated.

>moves us to the middle of a ghetto

Brabrand eller Norrebro?

But at least he'll have his 2d waifu.

Norrebro. Lige ved stationen, over for Mjolnerparken.

Anywhere that a group of muslims move to becomes a ghetto.

>want to be something
>be sack of shit
It doesn't work that way.
Life is simple. Just be nice . Thats it . Be honest with yourself and dont be a retard following dreams.Dreams are for people that are asleep. When you have such foundational cracks what your mother wants you to be is most likely your last problem on the list.
I myself am pretty fcked up when it comes to what others expect me to do and that i haven't done any of that.
But it doesn't bother me at all because in reality profession doesn't define your life . Its what you're good at kind of like a talent or a trait of yours.
For example im good at communicating and understanding . Im only 23 but i've done professional counseling for children and parents without even having my degree yet (its not even related its in tourism).
But my talents allow me to do this because i just know how to do it naturally and im really helpful and good at it.
God's gifts are being denied usually by the people that don't believe in Him.
This is why atheists and heretics suffer so much. Because they're bad even at being selfish. By denying God they deny themselves and their power.
It is trully a burden to see so many people torturing themselves and having no joy and love in their lives . Putting up a fake smile but in reality are wanting in every aspect of their lives.
They never cease to want something from their sons, daughters,parents , themselves when in reality they always had whatever they need to get by.

>Mjolnerparken.
T-Thor's hammer park?

ive seen an interesting Bulgarian movie.
theyre all engineers and they seem kind.
youtube.com/watch?v=NB8Cpuh1W14

my point is you can be kind and have self actualization even if you have a good job.
its not wrong to want to be something.
others should not be criticized for it.

For Satan - That sucks, anyways OP, get out of here, go live your life somewhere else. Don't look back. Don't fucking an hero, work your ass off, read lots, get in shape, eat well. You can do this if you want - push through this shit.

>Anywhere that a group of muslims move to becomes a ghetto.

This... I lived in Brabrand for 6 months, what a tragedy. I can't believe Danes don't see those people for who they are.

>T-Thor's hammer park?

Clever girl...

Its not just single moms my mother on multiple occasions pulled my father into their bedroom and threatened divorce. I have no interest in marriage. I would like to but given the laws as they are I think it will be a long time.

Yes, but the state of the place is heresy towards Thor.

seems to me your pops married a good wife and a shitty mom

always look for woman with good motherly qualities anons

Why put all this thought and passion into wanting to be something.
You want to be a doctor ? You feel you're going to be good at it ? Great go work your ass off now and don't just stay there imagining stories where you're the hero saving lives just focus on the work instead.
Wanting means lacking to me. If you're craving something that becomes your weakness.
For example imagine the times you were hiking or something and you run out of food and you know you'll be home in 2-3 hours but you don't have anything to eat not even a snack.
Instead of bitching about it and constantly putting your thought into "ahmagerd im HUNGERY " and telling everyone you're hungry all the time doesn't help at all , its annoying and detrimental in fact. The more you feed the thought the less bearable becomes the hunger.
If you do the honest effort you'll get there when you get there ,eventually.

Well OP. Congratulations on becoming the freest person on Sup Forums.

I doubt I am. Go check the Homeless General on /out/.

But thanks.

...

>Why put all this thought and passion into wanting to be something.
why not?
is being "something" at what you do such a terrible thought?

if you want to be "something" it means you want to reach a goal. to reach a goal, you need to better yourself.

don't define "wanting to be something" as wanting a title.

I mean, what do you fucking want, a counterexample? My father knocked up mom in early twenties-- through success and failure she does nothing but remain loyal and keep up a good clean inviting home and respectable children. Five kids and thirty+ years later, I can say they both would view their marriages as a positive force, providing and caring in different ways for each other, complementing and completing the other. She wakes every early morning for him even if she isnt needed, to make coffee and breakfast, fresh lunch. While he works she works to make his entire evening comfortable and relaxing. Maybe you find a love like this later in life, maybe you don't. Your father sounds like a lazy piece of shit, your mother is worthless but at least a floor provided. At any rate congratulations on gaining your independence and getting clean, that is admirable work.

Why are you here when you have a family like that?

>wanting
The feeling and state itself is wrong. It is a hunger. When there is this hunger you cannot be at peace.

He is onto something

Are you white? If so, i hope you reconsider the children thing

White as snow.

She'd have to be one heck of a woman for me to reconsider.

>It is a hunger. When there is this hunger you cannot be at peace.
yes yoda

is it wrong to have drive? not everyone can deal with being chill about everything.
we have technology because of "hunger"
if people never had drive, we probably still live in caves now.

>yes yoda
Actually, he's just a Buddhist.