Be american

>be american
>wake up and pour a bowl of High-Fructose Sugar Clumps™
>drive to work in my Chevy super truck 3000 that handles like I'm driving a king size bed
>listen to some true blue american hood culture on the radio
>drop daughter to Tyrone and Jamal's for morning reparations before school
>pick up my morning coffee (long black with 1 shot of coffee and 3 shots of caramel syrup, room temperature)
>sit in traffic for 30mins
>remember I need to stop at the strip mall because its my day to pick up the glazed donuts for work
>park car, Dacquan knocks on the car window
>get shot, it takes Dacquans whole gang to drag me from my car
>shart
>Hernandez steals wallet from my dying body
>everyone claps at the funeral

>everyone claps at the funeral
kek

You forgot the shart in mart, Ahmed

remember white people are doomed so dont even try
use all your effort getting whites to fight each other instead
(you)

Actually Chevy trucks handle like cars

>>drop daughter to Tyrone and Jamal's for morning reparations before school
O...oh my.

kek why would we clap at the funeral, because we would treat it like sports ?

> be european
> wake up smoke cigarette
> go outside to use my car that actually only as strong as a golf cart
> get stuck in traffic
> guy next to me praying in his car nervously
> allahu akbar
> loud explosion and fire everywhere
> takes a whole team of paramedics to drag you from the car
> as paramedics pull you from wreckage, you say something ISLAMOPHOBIC
> Immediately arrested and sentenced to life in prison
> Everyone claps as they read about you getting raped in jail while the suicide bombers family gets more welfare

Fuck off mutt, stop hiding coal burning propaganda in kids shows and stop toppling democratic governments for the kikes

If you dont like freedom feel free to stay on your rainy socialist island

...

>be american
>wake up in the land of the free
>$20 million college debt, A+ in all diversity, rape culture and privilege classes, still unemployed
>bungalow is made of thicker, reinforced cardboard this time since the last one flew away in a hurricane along with the rest of my cardboard town
>look out of the window, sky is blackened by drones. Neighbor is struck by a cruise missile
>drink diet corn syrup out of a jerrycan, because bottles are signs of European high-handedness
>grab the shotguns and lift fat ass into a huge pickup truck
>drive down a straight highway with cruise control set to 60mph for a thousand miles. All the cardboard bungalows look exactly the same
>spill corn syrup on the accelerator, accidentaly hit 61mph
>get instantly pulled over by 16 year old illiterate cop in an unmarked car who just finished his 6 week cop training course after dropping out of highschool
>butthole gets examined at gunpoint
>continue for 900 miles, pull in to shopping mall
>ride around Walmart on mobility scooter, fill up cart with jerrycans of genetically engineered corn syrup
>tip cashier 20% so she doesn't spit in my corn syrup next time
>600Ib cop in a tank and drones following truck
>attend Glenn Beck rally to scream about how Obama is a muslim atheist communist
>Rally is cancelled because the blacks are rioting
>drive home, more harassment by unprofessional cops
>arrive at front yard, sheriff arrives in black helicopter and lands on the grass with a distraint notice
>try to grab shotguns, suddenly drones everywhere
>get randomly tazed and have an epileptic fit
>ambulance arrives, get charged $1000 for aspirin
>grab tent, straight road to internet cafe. More harrasment and butthole searchings
>choose words carefully because NSA is monitoring everything
>sleep in tent crying because Yuropoors will never know what it's like to be as free as I am
>14 year old cop in military gear enters tent to butt search me one last time, drones videotape all the action

Put me in /r/Sup Forums screencap pls

Wew lad

The irony about all the anti-white characters is that they wouldn't even be able to legally complain about how evil all white people are if it wasn't for white people. Even I see that and I'm a slant-eyed chink too/

Consumerism isn't inherently bad its what made your pathetic excuse of of a life of comfort possible. And the united states doesnt practice a capitalist economic structure also capitalism isnt a political idea its economic.

i hate how fags like you ruin good memes by sharing them in /leftypol/ and then bringing them here, please kill yourself.

t. Le'monjello Al-Londoni

I'm not complaining about white people, I'm complaining about Americans.

Big difference Jamal

We won the war.

Britain still BTFO like a million years after the fact.

American consumerism is disgusting and degenerate

Hitler was right about the moral-less american mutts

t. abu bakr al-bahgdadi

t. Huan Lee

which war was this

>Consumerism isn't inherently bad

can you read bahgdadi or are your child sex slaves reading this to you?

>>ambulance arrives, get charged $1000 for aspirin
kek

We're pretty clearly discussing a specific example of it here

Since you're clearly well versed in sucking american cock can you answer me this?
Is it true all Americans shaft when they cum?

It's a 3500 you bus rider

Underrated

Shart* fuck

The one that mattered :^)

> shart

learn2read you race-mixing mongrel

come on muricans, you gotta admit these were pretty funny

It's not underrated, it's just unoriginal and unfunny, like most American "comedy".

>ambulance arrives, get charged $1000 for aspirin
Accurate

You're the one that implied consumerism is bad then said "muh amerifat consumerism is bad" one that wasn't my point in the first place. this directly connects to the idea of capitalism and what has been shoved down the throats of american makkng this not their own fault but the fault of the government as well as mine and yours bahgdadi. Keep trying shill, your divide and conquer shit will fail.

You forgot to tip, that's 5 to 10..

>be European
>wake up in my twin sized bed in my 100 sq ft apartment in the city that costs 2,000 euros a month
>brush teeth and shower, pay water tax
>make breakfast pay food tax
>walk out into hallway and see neighbor Hajid
>amazing government lets him live there for free because hes a refugee
>"Bonjour Hajid"
>get slapped by Hajid for insulting islam by using western language
>Hajid, 35 and his children, both 30 year old kids, assault me and rape my cat
>die

>wibbly tibbly the tobbly tom?
>u w0t?
tobbly bobbly tibbly wibbly colour, itnoint hard to un'terstan
>crowd explodes into laughter as a female viewer somewhere in america gets wet just from hearing an accent she otherwise can't understand
>mfw british comedy

I love Russell Brand as well. He's hilarious. John Oliver too.

First post best post

>American comedy
>a Jewish man stands in a spotlight
>so what's the deal with farting? Am I right people!
>*whole room clapping*
>I mean like BAAARP, what's the deal with that?
>*room explodes into applause*

top jej

>And what's the deal with airline food?

>Russel Brand
>Relevant

The British public didn't like John Oliver's "humour". He's in the USA for a reason

>We won the war.

The French won you the war.

>>sit in traffic for 30mins
? where?

>when you hate America so much that you actively cheer on the destruction of whites

But hey, at least we got our relief, can you say the same?

Hows that empire lad?


:^)

Grrrrreat.

1812?

Damn nice id

He didn't shart in mart though, he sharted en route to the mart.

>be American
wake up in XXXL bed by Shlomo Goldstein Medical Company™, healthy body mass hanging down the sides of it
>use crane to get up medical cart to roll into kitchen
>eat healthy portion of Kikestein Cereals™ with high-estrogen milk
>try to browse the internet, but monthly 100MB data cap is exceeded
>pay Moishe Shekelberg Internet Corp.™ $75 plus tip for extra 50MB
>also pay $49.99 for porn flatrate
>everything available is BBC cuckold porn
>jack off using half a gallon of lube (by Shlomo Goldstein Medical Company™) because of mutilated dick
>shart and cum at the same time
>wipe cum off the floor and get heart attack because of too much physical effort
>wake up in Mordecai McDonald's Hospital™
>therapy consists of strict diet of burgers and soda
>thank doctor for being the greatest ally and gladly pay $20000 plus tip

DAmn

Great pasta really enjoyed it mate keep up the good work cheers

DAmn that shit get for butthurt

>be yuropeen
>wake up and pay sleep tax
>walk across 3000 euro per month 75 square foot flat to eat breakfast
>Breakfast consists of a thin slice of toast with 75mg of butter on it (oi we use metric ere mate!)
>pay luxury tax for butter
>while eating breakfast, listen to Achmed give my white wife her morning breeding
>pay tax to support future mixed race children from wife
>finish breakfast and head outside to my brand new vehicle I purchased with 10 years of savings
>a bicycle
>get on and head for my government mandated job serving 5-star meals with "happy endings" (which I provide) to refugees out of a former historical palace converted into a refugee center
>pay bicycle tax
>pay tax for being a white male in current year
>go home a hear news from wife that she's pregnant with Achmed quadruplets
>Government declares me legal father despite DNA evidence and charges a child tax for my brown skinned allahu ackbar kids
>disagree with being forced to pay for my own racial replacement
>arrested for anti-Semitic neonazi far right extremist hate speech
>pay prison tax as I'm sent to max security prison
>state decides my crimes are too heinous and has me executed
>pay execution tax
>as the bullet enters my brain, my last thoughts are "a-at l-l-least I'm n-not one of t-shirt racist Americans
>pay final thoughts tax
>die
>pay burial tax
>pay embalming tax
>pay sitting in ground tax
>pay casket tax
>pay funeral tax
>pay methane released while decomposing tax
>pay hearse tax

>Romania
any life is better than being a filthy gypsy

the globe could be subsituted for usa in this pic

>YOU'RE NOT WHITE UNLIKE ME, I HAVE THE WHITEST BLOODLINE, 100% IRISH
>t. Tyrone Martinèz Wang Nguyen MCCONNOR

Personally i liked the comedian that went full red pill and screamed "kill that guy, he's a nigger!! hang his ass in that tree cause he's a nigger!!!"

Hungarian actually ;^)

remember white people are doomed so dont even try
use all your effort getting whites to fight each other instead
>(you)

Why do the cunts always clap though?

>this thread

>I'm not complaining about white people, I'm complaining about Americans.
which is majority white
but remember, white people are doomed so dont even try
use all your effort getting whites to fight each other instead
>(you)

you must be one of those rude cunts

Just a question FUCKWIT

GOD DAmn THATS THE TICKET

Having a bad day, mate?

Its alright, I still like you.

Here is what I don't understand

Why are we all rooting for other white countries to be in decline and be destroyed?

Every single American for example loves nothing more than see Sweden, England and Germany to become less white.

But doesn't that also mean for them less white immigration from those countries?
While Mexico, Africa and China are still producing babies like on an assemble line. I guess only male babies from china.

Long term the destruction of one white country hurts most other white countries. If you genuinely care about this whole white race stuff.

And we are just as bad.
America is like only 30% white if you don't count Mexicans. And europeans are elated about that.


Maybe I just have autism and that is all just banter but something about the whole Sup Forums culture just seems wrong.

>tfw you just got redpilled but it doesn't matter because you are already a minority
This is what the future holds

this happened to me yesterday, but i can't talk about it, nsa is snooping

clapping to everything and prison rape are american phenomena

>be British
>wake up on knittedly wittedly sheepity sleepity in a 5000 lb./month flat in Wourmchestershire-upon-Figgity-Fag
>grab jerryjar of Jamal's Grade A Nutty-Cum queefed out of wife's gash
>squirt it on top of choco-chip buckywicky biscuit
>cum gets inside one of multiple cavities
>gets infected
>gets stabbed by a hooligan carrying a pip pip gollywock
>god save the queen

The truth is everybody on the board is sensitive and can't sleep without posting some 'stinging' response to the offending flag that insulted them, based on an inaccurate meme macro posted in a ylyl thread

No-one does anything productive on this board, they just laugh at the misery of others whilst miserable themselves

If people on here were truly 'happy' and 'repilled' like they claim they are they wouldn't feel the need to sneer at others constantly

I feel like redpill is just how we collectively named our depression.

the banter makes us stronger

You lost to the French? holy shit kek

Every jest tends to hold a bit of truth. We just highlight the misfortunes and idiocies in each other's countries by trying to make witty jokes backed with factual evidence. Just stating facts all day gets boring. Throwing some jokes and insults to watch someone else's autism flare is how we pass the time.

Started off good but got weak towards the end mate

Here's a short history of the USA.

>be American
>fellow British are asking you for money because you're costing a lot in trade and protection
>kill your own brothers to get out of paying
>import a bunch of nigger slaves because you're lazy
>end up splitting the country in two and kill your own brothers again to set nigger slaves free
>realize this was a terrible mistake
>replace niggers with mexicans
>go into WWII after the axis is already defeated, still get btfo, drop nuclear bombs on women and children in Japan instead of military bases
>call yourselves the heroes of WWII
>get btfo again by a bunch of poor Vietnamese farmers
>elect nigger president who's first lady is a man
>topple "dictators" and actually turn relatively okay countries into utter hell holes, causing them to flood into the only nice parts of the world
>get btfo by arabs the entire time

>be 60% white and dying

>be Canada
>wake up and realize I'm a shitty irrelevant tundra being slowly taken over by Chinese and lead by a flaming faggot
>get depressed
>drink maple syrup while I shitpost on 4pol with blacked and BBC threads
>cry

>Be american
>Wake up in my king size bed
>roll over, no cheetos left
>"ughhhh" I get out of the bed
>My knees hurt from getting down the stairs
>"Oh, hey, honey!"
>"Call me Stuart, today!"
>Shit, I forgot I have a genderfluid queerpartner
>"Ok, Stuart honey, what are you making for breakfast?"
>"A very healthy vegan pancake with soy syrup, quinoa, lots of ogm strawberries!"
>Sweet
>Meanwhile the pancakes get deep fried, my queerplatonic partner shots our daughter with a penis with zeir daily dose of hormones
>Ze says that Tyrone touched zeir ass the night before
>Get in a rage, get in the car
>Shot dead by police right after I turn it on
>No one cares, so Shaniqua, Sharone and LittleBoy steal my shit
>God Bless America

>no tax tax
kys famolia

Perfect

Pretty accurate user.

>be britbong
>at the pub drinking with my m8s
>eating some crumpets
>no butter knife though, they've been banned for our safety
>suddenly peaceful Muslim refugee pulls out AK and starts blasting people away
>get shot at by amhed
>call him a wanker
>get arrested for hate speech

>be italian
>eat spaghetti
>realize it was just a bowl of my own arm hair
>keep eating
>sell my gold chain for gabagool
>god bless america

>I traveled to argentina
>Go visit my cousin in Buenos Aires
>Wanted to keep it as a surprise
>arrived at his house
>knock knock
>he's not there
>im waiting
>im waiting
>Wild Argie appears
>"What are you doing here, black head?" - he said
>mfw i'm faaaaar whiter than him
>"I'm waiting for my cousin"
>"Che, i know him, black head, he went buy something, he'll come back in a while i think"
>I thank him and we started talk about random stuff
>he was always calling me "black head"
>got somehow mad
>"Put your hand aside mine hand"
>He was a little confused but he did it
>"Did you see?, im pretty whiter than you, why are you calling me black head?"
>Awkward silence
>The people that were walking on the street started to stare at me
>A random girl said "are you idiot? he's 1,57% german"
>"wow, 1.57, thats fucking high" i heard from the crowd
>I didn't know what to say
>The guy hit me on the face.
>My nose was bleeding
>The crowd was clapping and screaming "KILL HIM KILL HIM"
>my cousing came
>he yell
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WE'RE 27% ITALIAN"
>the crowd started to adore us
>The police came
>They arrested the guy for "bad conduct in front a whiter guy"

If only I could eat spaghetti

[spoiler] ;___; [/spoiler]

Believed everything before
>>and sentenced to life in prison
>> Everyone claps as they read about you getting raped in jail while the suicide bombers family gets more welfare

>be burger
>take a small loan of a gorillion dollars to buy house
>garage must be a trumptillion square metres big
>or else it can't fit the family's gas guzzling behemoth of a car used for 10-minute shopping trips to Walmart
>garage must also be wide enough that each 400-pound family member can fit while stepping out of said wheeled behemoth, also bought with a loan of a jewtillion dollars
>squeeze burger ass through door, door breaks to the pressure of the ass, whose weight is equivalent to a 15th-century medieval seige cannon
>"that will count as today's exercise", Cletus-Tyrone thinks while sweating profusely
>hear doorbell ring
>"excuse me sir, would you like to buy some cookies to support our girl scout club?"
>"how dare they set foot on my PROPERTY?!"
>starts to walk up the stairs to the gun locker to fetch AR-15 w/ a 100-round drum mag
>stairs and floor collapse
>land in the basement, in which you realize there is a spic meth lab in
>spic chemists start scrambling for their kalashnikovs
>burger breath ignite the toxic fumes in the basement, causing it to explode
>burger fat absorbs all the shrapnel, leaving you the only survivor
>"CLETUS-TYRONE HERNANDEZ CHOLESTEROLSTEIN, WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN THERE??"
>"Just help me up Martha, ma & pa won't be glad to see this"
>"talk for yourself, they're my ma & pa too Cletus-Tyrone"
>manage to get upstairs using your private elevator paid for with a loan of a nigtillion dollars
>fetches AR-15 and walks to the door to deal with intruding girl scouts
>girl scout parts lie scattered over the lawn, ripped apart by the meth lab explosion
>instead there seems to be some sort of public official there
>"Hello Mr. Cletus-Tyrone Hernandez Cholesterolstein, my name is Shlomo Shlomostein, and I must sadly say that the massive unpaid loans taken by you and many others have led to a housing bubble causing a financial crash, you will be immediately evicted and carried by an industrial crane to the nearest trailer park
>yfw

>measuring house in meters
You failed already lad

>mexicans
>white

pick one Manuelito

>get charged $1000 for aspirin
Delete this

>be swedish
>awake on straw pallet in cuckshed since that's all you can afford after taxes
>open window so you can hear wife being bred by her government assigned Somali-syrian refugee
>get erection at sound of tolerant integration but can't masturbate since sweeden banned white male sexuality
>decide to walk to Ikea to get new furniture for cuckshed
>have to avoid gang of vibrant nuswede youths playing a friendly game of "toss a handgrenade at the unbeliever"
>stop by halal kebab shop and pay jizya on my way
>arrive at Ikea but realize I have no money left after 99% tax rate
>diversity jumps out and stabs me and 10 other oldswedes
>10000 man police army dispatched to arrest all of us for attacking the poor immigrants knife with our racist bodies
>feminist authoritarian council finds us guilty of doubleplus ungood thoughtcrime
>sentenced to life in the Somali cum extraction camps
>die of AIDS

you JUST got redpilled? How? Tell me your story.

not even half way through and laughing hard. Thanks sven.

Canada did all of this, if you replace the beginning with lick boots of tax thieves, and is 70% white and dying.