Christcucks

>Christcucks

>was joseph cucked by god
no, cuckoldry implies sex
it was more like an artificial insemination, a divine insemination

Only the first time, the rest of their kids were his.

They were married, and she was only a virgin when she got preggers the first time.

aka cucking.

...

the angel showing up to corroborate her story probably helped

They managed to beat the fuck out of your pagan ancestors and your great (x) grandmother spread her legs for the "christcuck" cock after they slashed the throat of your pagan granddaddy

I'm pretty sure that was just Chad in a costume and Joseph was really gullible

Everyone is cucked by God.

Even fucking Jesus was cucked by God.

>t. not a Catholic

...

No because
A: No sex
B: He was massively rewarded. Heaven's the biggest and most obvious one, but he also got to go down in the history books. 2000 years later, people on a Mongolian basket-weaving forum are still talking about a middle-eastern carpenter.

So if I pay you to have sex with your wife and you're cool with it then its not cucking?

According to the talmud he was cucked by a roman soldier.

through that reasoning,
how would you make sense of all the miracles Christ performed, including His resurrection?

>all that rationalization
>I-I'm not a cuck even though the little nigger that crawled out of my wife's vagina isn't my son, she said that Tyrone didn't insert

And muslims will do the same with Christians, it's beautiful how "do undo others as you would have them done to you" came back to bite you right in the ass.

You mean besides the obvious explanation of none of them happening?

Magic tricks, optical illusions, sleight of hand, audience plants, and he never actually died but escaped.

Pure speculation, whereas we have written record of what we say.

...

So? There are written records of the holocaust but you're not going to tell me that's real too are you?

>it's in a book, therefore it really happened!
Remember that time when we avoided the muggle holocaust because Harry Potter chose to sacrifice himself but then came back to life?

>You mean besides the obvious explanation of none of them happening?
why say any of it happened then, including the cuckoldry?

>he never actually died but escaped.
you don't david blaine out of a roman crucifixion

>my wifes son is such a great carpenter!
>his father must have been a great man
>i hope the goyim remember to celebrate his birthday!

Yeah that supernatural being nobody has evidence for.

>it's in a book, therefore it really happened!
this, fuck all history

Yes

Thats why christcucks are such cancer: theyre either cuckolds or sinners in disguise

Remember when orc resistance groups blew up Barad-dûr and blamed this innocent small, hairy person from a far away land?

no, tell me more

>you don't david blaine out of a roman crucifixion

Ok yeah maybe that was a bit of a stretch. But his body being missing also doesn't mean he was resurrected. The Romans, or Jews, could very well have stolen his body in order to prevent it being worshiped.

The fact is that the New Testament was written over 100 years after Jesus' death, and even the books within it contain different recollections of events, so everything should be taken with a pillar of salt. You play Chinese whispers for 100 years and you're not going to get a good account of what happened no matter what the event is.

The difference being that historians are more than willing to change an adapt in the event of new evidence and always say that the things they know are based solely on the evidence available and is not set in stone.

>there was a guy called Jesus
Nobody's denying that. The whole being son of a god that totally exists part however...

>But his body being missing also doesn't mean he was resurrected
his reappearance does though

note: this is in 1 Corinthians, but even secular historians date this credal statement to around the year Christ was crucified:
>3 For I passed on to you as of first importance what I also received—that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures,
>4 and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures,
>5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve.
>6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep.
>7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.
>8 Last of all, as though to one born at the wrong time, he appeared to me also.

the dating:
James D. G. Dunn writes:
>"This tradition, we can be entirely confident, was formulated as tradition within months of Jesus' death."
Michael Goulder:
>"Paul 'received' the tradition -- that is, he was taught it at his conversion -- perhaps two years after Jesus' death."
Ulrich Wilckens:
>"indubitably goes back to the oldest phase of all in the history of primitive Christianity"
Gerd Ludermann:
>"the elements in the tradition are to be dated to the first two years after the crucifixion of Jesus."
Paul Barnett:
>"within two or three years of the First easter."
Richard Burridge and Graham Gould:
>"from only a few years after Jesus' death."
Robert Funk and the Jesus Seminar:
>within "two or three years at most."
Richard Hays:
>"within about three years after Jesus was crucified in Jerusalem."
Alexander Wedderburn:
>"first half of the 30s."

so either:
A: the witnesses to the resurrected Christ were all lying
B: they were hallucinating
C: it actually happened

Nice pic. Saved. On this note, folks should check out The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel. Good stuff.

>A: the witnesses to the resurrected Christ were all lying

I'm going to go with this one.

>tips his fedora

the de facto argument against that one is the "die for a lie? i think not!" stuff,
but you've probably already heard it.
i for one found it convincing, but i'd wager you don't.

>prays to god, jesus and the bear that he'll finally get a boyfriend-free girl from the ground up

I guess I'm a muslim now looking at their death rate

Nah sorry. Look I'm not some fedora who hates all Christians and shit like that. For better or worse Christianity has been a vital part of Western civilisation for a long, long time.

Do I think it has good lessons to teach? Yes
Do I believe that Jesus was a nice guy who got screwed over? Yes.
Do I believe he was the son of God? No.
Do I believe its the only source of good lessons? No.

If I was going to teach my children good life lessons, from a book, I'd take Aesop's fables over the Bible any day simply for clarity reasons.

yeah that's the de facto attempt at refutation for people who don't understand the argument.

the jihadis are willing to die for their beliefs, that's different from the specific group of martyr's i'm talking about
because the specific group of martyr's i'm talking about purported to witness the events first hand, they would KNOW that it was a lie if it were.

>The god we worship is an alpha Chad

Yeah so?

The problem of course being how gullible people are. Especially simple people back then.

Have you heard the tale of the wandering jew?

If that's the case then you definitely weren't created in his image

badum tish

Your argument is "people believed that shit, so they were willing to die for it". Muslims die more for the shit they believe in than Christians.

>because the specific group of martyr's i'm talking about purported to witness the events first hand, they would KNOW that it was a lie if it were.
Maybe something about sunken cost, wasting their entire life following someone's wife's son with him then getting impotently nailed to two sticks and dying. Jim Jones had people kill themselves. Marshall Applewhite had people kill themselves. It's really not that outlandish.

What part of no sex do you not understand?

>believing stories about Jesus written by people who never met him

I don't know, you're the expert on that.

...

Good one, kiwi.

...

...

...

>wasting their entire life following someone
Jesus' ministry was less than 4 years.
try again.

reminder mary was actually like 12 when God impregnated her

decent bantz
1/10 on the argument
cucking requires sex
God created man
Tyrone is just another creation of God
If God impregnates a woman via the holy spirit, it is far from cucking
No need to rationalize anything -- if you can't accept valid logic you are rationalizing to get yourself out of losing the argument

>getting impregnated by a spirit
>valid logic

>Jesus' ministry was less than 4 years.
Same timeframe as Jonestown then, funny.

oy vey goyi... i mean fellow christians... please give tithes thanks. 10% minimum or god won't love you and i won't be able to get a new cadillac. stupid goys.

>something that's not your son crawls out of the vagina of your wife
>you decide to raise it regardless
>t-that's totally not c-cucked

Degenerates.

yeah never happened you retard.

>christcucks actually believe this

>literally a cuck fever dream
Kek

Fucking Kek I had to look it up, but holy shit it's true, the kikes holy book seriously alleges Joseph is a fucking cuck, my god

*tips*

...

He also wasn't married to Mary...

Here's why mother-in-law jokes aren't funny: without them you'd have no wife. God made you. Cuck is a negative connotation. God doesn't do those

>1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. 1:19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. 1:20 But when he thought on these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. 1:21And she shall bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name JESUS; for it is he that shall save his people from their sins. 1:22Now all this is come to pass, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying,

>1:23Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son,

>And they shall call his name Immanuel;

>which is, being interpreted, God with us. 1:24And Joseph arose from his sleep, and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took unto him his wife; 1:25 and knew her not till she had brought forth a son: and he called his name JESUS.

Oh ignorant amerifat, Jesus is the son of God because everyone is the son of God. Jesus was the son of Joseph and Mary and most of his life he lived as a normal being, until the experiences he went through changed him from man to messiah. Not for nothing he says He is the son of man and everyone the son of God.
A lot of people know this. Even writers like Saramago or the man who wrote the last temptation are aware of this.

Even an atheist moviemaker like Passolini decided to take this route on his film.

not praiseing kek and his innumerable works.

...

>Jesus was Joseph's wife's son

...

>let's make a son with that married virgin and then abandon him
>actually christian god

...

...

...

...

...

so your argument is now what, that the people seeing Christ were hallucinating?

the people who killed themselves at jonestown believed what they died for (besides the ones who were physically coerced)

...

...

Maybe one hallucinated him and convinced the others, as the case with Marshall Applewhite.

>the people who killed themselves at jonestown believed what they died for
I'm not denying that they believed, I'm denying the validity you want to attribute to their belief.

...

last post for the keks

Christianity is literally "My Wife's Son" the religion. Mary was getting dick from her side nigga and got knocked up

Jim Jones convinced 900 people to mass suicide, what if instead he convinced them to spread the word that he was a God?
People can go really nuts sometimes...

>one hallucinated
but that's not what the credal statement said.
( )

it's cute you already knew the counterargument to the hallucination hypothesis,
that hallucinations are subjective to the individual perceiving them.

Yes, shit that's been written years if not decades after the event sure refute the possibility of that one guy convincing the others.

>written years if not decades
read the bottom of the post i linked you to

>2/3 are realistic
>1/3 is insane

yeah, that'd be a good point if we were talking about some guy just saying "i am god"
i'm talking about groups of people witnessing a man who had been killed being seen again after he'd died.

>what if he wasn't really dead

there are two historical facts about Jesus that are indisputable:
1: Christ lived
2: Christ was crucified

Atheist New-Testament Scholar Gerd Ludermann declares:
>"Jesus' death as a consequence of crucifixion is indisputable."
John Dominic Crossan, of the infamous Jesus-Seminar says:
>There is not even the "slightest doubt about the fact of Jesus' crucifixion under Pontius Pilate."
Marcus Borg, another member of the Jesus-Seminar states:
>Jesus' execution is the "most certain fact about the historical Jesus"
Jewish Scholar Pinchas Lapide:
>Jesus' death by crucifixion is "historically certain."
Paula Fredriksen:
>"The single most solid fact about Jesus' life is his death: he was executed by the Roman prefect Pilate, on or around Passover, in the manner Rome reserved particularly for political insurrectionists, namely, crucifixion."
Bart Ehrman:
>"one of the most certain facts of history is that Jesus was crucified on orders of the roman prefect of Judea, Pontius Pilate."

you don't survive a roman crucifixion, after the scourging and actual crucifying part, there is the deathblow.
they would smash their head in, or stab them through the heart with a sword or spear, or set them on fire, or let wild animals rip them apart before prying them off the cross.
not something people walk away from

>Christcucks literally worship some dude's wife's son.

2/3 and 1/3 of what?

Least likely option, so I'm not going to go with that one.

>A: the witnesses to the resurrected Christ were all lying 2/3
>B: they were hallucinating 2/3
>C: it actually happened 1/3

When a pure being beyond human comprehension acts, it transcends mere words.

No he wasn't fucking cucked, kike. Also number of beast in your digits, can't be a coincidence.

No. Joseph was cucked by Chad from his village and Mary made up the virgin bullshit so she wouldn't be killed for adultery.

Was Jesus the son of god or not?

They're trying to shill against Christianity since we truly win once we restore and secure Christian values in America. We will be alright if we instill the correct values and defend them til the end.