If the Lord of the Rings movies would have been created today, how diverse would it have been?
What ethnic makeup would the 9 kings of man have had?
9 white guys representing the kingdoms of man?
OY VEY
No sex scene with Aragorn plowing some qt brown QUEEN?
SHUT IT DOWN
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It's actually amazing that LOTR was made desu.
Nice observation OP. Never thought about LOTR like that.
the original trilogy is one of the purest things in this world, almost completely untouched by the jews, and as times seem to get darker and darker at least I know that lights can form in the darkness
>smeagel would be a shitlord white male
>Sam would be a trannie
>Legolas would be super gay (more so)
>The ring would be a cock ring
Hey this is fun user
About 30% of all the warriors during the battle would probably be female too, like it is in tv-shows such as Vikings. Most likely one of the Hobbits would have been a female too.
And yeah Legolas would probably be ever more feminine
Agreed. And just before the SJW shit hit the fan. We dodged a bullet. The LOTR movies are a monument that will be forever.
the kangz of man would all be black
Aragorn would of been a nigger
Weren't the orcs the black people, the movies were diverse.
I don't think. Look "The Hobbit", made 1-2 years ago, and it is pretty based.
The orcs are oppressed minorities under the patriarchal rule of Gondor. They are looking for a new home after they snackbar'd Mordor. The Fellowship of the Ring is a deportation unit created to eliminate orcs and spread racism and white nationalism. The White City of Gondor is now facing some cultural enrichment and diversity. Also, due to complaints from the orc citizens, the sigil of Gondor is expected to change from a white tree to a black donkey. Not to mention, Gondor citizens who are unaware of their privileges have been caught saying bad things about Sauron, the leader of the orcs. He is also the founder of feminism and empowered female orcs. The orcs are not happy with the slander of their prophet. Hence, pic related.
Arwen would be Zulu-Tier-Black and have a Dong with 30cm
No it sucked, it lacked the serious LOTR atmosphere, also remember that elf women that didn't even exist in the book? Why did the jews put her into the movie - because STRONG INDEPENDANT WOMAN!
How did they get a picture of the picture theyre in?
Best film ever desu
I agree with Also it was crammed with minorities for no reason at all(well we know why)
As a matter of fact it isn't supposed to be 9 white guys at all. Tolkien wrote that one of the Nazgul is Khamul, the "black Easterling".
yeah but that multiculti cesspool of a town got razed down too - maybe that's telling
J.R.R. Tolkien was BASED CATHOLIC, so it just follows healthy values and anti-degeneracy
I don't know man, they say Brazil is catholic too
>id
>loL
its gonna suck when the mandela effect makes Aragorn a nigger
I had to laugh at the chinks and niggers in lake town in the hobbit, what complete bullshit. It's so obvious as well
And they would certainly create a stronk female character who will be a mary sue, beating Legolas at archery, replacing Aragorn as the leader, and being stronger than Gimli.
Eowyn killed the Witch-King, you know. And a race of midgets ended Sauron, not the "high race" of Numenoreans
midgets were representing slovenians or croatians, thos are midgeds in real life.
But neither of those are perfect characters, with no flaws, unlike the female leads from the new Star Wars movies.
The ring would not represent power, but instead gay marriage, and instead of the movie being about trying to destroy the ring, they instead decide to make a million copies.
yeah that was some bullshit, Gandalf gets owned by the guy, then some regular women comes along and beats him? wtf was that
>Putin not one of the hobbits
WE
Tracy Morgan as Gandalf would have been pretty based. Shaquille O'neal as Bilbo Baggins too, it would be funny because they would shrink him down with special effects
hobbids :DDD
Can't comment, didn't watch that movie
I don't think Gandalf lost to the Witch-King. They were about to fight, but then the Rohirrim arrived, so the Witch-King had to leave to defend against the Rohirrim. However, he did kill Theoden before Eowyn and Merry double-teamed him
Ok but there weren't niggers.
It's something.
Rogue one was really good.
Nigga what?
Gandalf the grey/white would be a tall stronk black chick in a sexy wizard outfit.
Gimly the dwarf would be the fat black uggo from patriarchybusters remake.
Aragorn would be a tiny chink.
Frodo would be Lena Durnham.
The "fat hobitsis" would be an Asian lady.
Legolass would be a giant, unconvincing tranny.
The only white male would be Smeagal/Gollum - they would say it's symbolic of a "nice guys" nature, how they are in a constant struggle between "good" and "evil patriarchal oppressive values". The ring would symbolise owning women.
It would most likely be played by Micheal Cera or (((Jesse Eisenberg))).
The movie would flop and the liberal media would talk about how much it was a success.
I've literally just given hollyjew their next big idea.
We really got so fucking lucky, New Zealand was apparently uncontaminated during production.
Look at how pozzed The Hobbit is, my brother and I couldn't even sit through the second film, didn't bother to see the third in theatres.
Maybe he didn't lose in the books, but in the movie this is what happened:
youtube.com
there were some of peasant nogs in the second hobit movie
That was pretty cringey when she had her little "gurrl pwr xD" moment after killing him, but honestly I'll let them have one scene. Also at least she was white.
i think it would be pretty 'based' if you killed yourself, niggerlover.
> Gordorians, including Aragorn, are muddy brown people
> They find someone from the estate to defend this
> Black Riders get all rapey with Arwen until she goes full stronk independent womyn
> Mouth of Sauron talks a lot of shit about building walls and making Mordor great again
> After fighting Balrog, Gandalf brought back as a woman. No one says anything about this
> Eowyn easily outdoes Legolas and Gimli and is the main focus during the Siege of Gondor
The 9 would still be white since they're evil.
I don't get why you think the hollyjews would jew their own young jews by having a jew lead.
Must be yet another contradiction of da jooos theory.
Hobbits got some mad sneak attack bonuses
It was diverse, no need to change. White people were all the good folk and the orcs and goblins were black. Diverse see?
>Brown people
>Stronk women
>Nationalism is bad
>Transgenderism
>More stronk women
SJW's dream.
you seriously think that Tolkien would write such bullshit??? It's like RPG 101, always kill the cleric/healer FIRST!
You'll spend the night in atonement, reading the books. I spoke.
Ah, that explains it. I haven't watched the movies for a while.
As I've said, at least one of the nine, Khamul the Black Easterling, isn't white
In the books they're about to fight before the witch king goes to help fight of the Rohirrim. Only major difference is Gandalf doesn't get his staff broken. Peter Jackson left this scene out of the theatrical release because he realized Gandalf would wreck his shit in a fight and it felt too forced.
Also, the Witch King dies not because of any stronk womyn nonsense, but because Merry stabs him in the leg with an ancient, heavily enchanted dagger and removes all of his magical wards. This also goes in line with the "no man can kill him" prophecy thing as Merry is a Hobbit. The movie doesn't spell this out for people so it mostly looks like Eowyn did the real work even though it was actually Merry who fucked his shit up and made him killable, with Eowyn just happening to be the one to finish him off.
plus, it is a known fact that Wizards take their powers from their pure virginity.
Of course Eowyn has an advantage. Tolkien thought about everything.
It's been a while I didn't read the books, like 3 years, so I wasn't very sure.
That's cool, nice to have someone who know the lore better in this thread, thanks for the post.
foreal how can anyone be mad that a white girl stabbed king nigger in the face
Eowyn dismounted the Witch-King, making it possible for Merry to stab him. But nowhere does it say that Merry's dagger destroyed the Witch-King's magical protection, if any.
To be honest I've always found this scene sort of doubtful. The Nine are made by the Ring and, like Barad-dur, shouldn't be destructible as long as the Ring exists
They already did that in The Hobbit
Hobbits are englishmen, uruk-hai were Balkan people, Mt. Doom is somewhere between Croatia an Serbia.
Tolkien based the world on prehistorical continental plates.
The vikings did use females as warriors though, so it's not necessarily a sjw thing.
Vikings is a based show.
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Doubtful. From Wikipedia
"The historical existence of shieldmaidens is heavily debated, but scholars including Lars Magnar Enoksen, Neil Price, and Britt-Mari Näsström argue evidence they existed, while scholar Judith Jesch disagrees, citing a lack of hard evidence for trained or regular women warriors"
Strangely enough, Japan made the most extensive and best recorded use of female warriors, to my knowledge
No, only as a last resort. Once when they were besieged and they lost, females were found among the dead warriors.
Vikings didn't have a bunch of female warriors running around in their warrior bands
all-female cast
Frodo would be a refugee.
Legolas would be transsexual
Gimli would be gay
Boromir stays white and male cos he dies early on
Aragorn would be black.
Gandalf, just like Ian McKellen, would be a fucking raging homosexual.
The other 3 hobbits I guess would be Muslims.
Vikings did take their wifes for the journey but there was only ever one account of female warriors used in battle and they just so happened to lose. Can't remember the name of the video which went into detail.
Yeah its made up, as far as I know basically only from the fact that they have found weapons buried with females. This doesn't mean they were warriors, swords and axes were prized possesions obviously.
But people jumped on it straight away to pretend it meant vikings employed female warriors
"YOU GOTS TA THROW DA BLING IN DA LAVA HOLE SHANIQUA!!"
>Aragorn would be black
Idris Elba.
yep I was thinking exactly that.
>The Nine are made by the Ring and, like Barad-dur, shouldn't be destructible as long as the Ring exists
About half of the Dwarven rings of power have already been destroyed by dragon fire, so the human rings are also presumably destructible. Also the Elvish rings were all crafted by Celebrimbor alone so they too can be destroyed.
Only the One Ring has invulnerability as Sauron literally poured most of his soul into it.
Also in the books it is never stated directly, like a huge number of things, but I believe Tolkien clarified some of the subtler points in letters and other writings. Merry's dagger in the book was taken from (presumably a King's) tomb from the Barrow-downs. As the Kingdoms of the North repeatedly fought with the Witch King and his dark forces, they forged weapons with their knowledge of Numenorean craftsmanship that could break through wards and effectively kill dark creatures, Merry's acquired dagger amongst them.
But it is already diverse with different races and even interracial romance
Why would people be mad if some coloured people have been casted?
I guess. I just find it weird that the Nazguls were treated as indestructible for most of the books but suddenly their chieftain was killed by a girl and a hobbit with a dagger from Cardolan. I mean, if Arnor were capable of forging weapons powerful enough to destroy the Nine 1) they shouldn't have lost so badly to Angmar and 2) so should Gondor
>Those niggers townpeoples in the Hobbit
Those movies will forever ever make me fucking mad
>trump not frodo
>putin not sam
wat r u doin
I find it weird that a woman had never bean bagged one before.
Sure humans didn't put vaginas on the battlefield but elves totally did.
Did they just not show up to fight the elves?
Orcs would have been misunderstood gentlemen with heavy melanin content seeking to integrate into middle earth society.
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Lol, there is a literal and rather popular Russian fiction from the 90s which depicts a post-sauron Middleearth.
The Orcs are based on the Soviet Union and the Free Peoples are based on the West and are ruled by (((high elves))). They try to brainwash based orks with SJW propaganda but eventually screw themselves with it.
Funny how only one decade can make such a difference. I remember when SJWs were laughed at.
I remember when the movies came out that there was a nerd outcry that Arwen took Glorfindels role and that she was supposed to be in Helms Depp, but fans were protesting and PJ cut her out of the fighting scenes.
lotr is the most white book ever written. even the niggers in laketown in the (((hobbit))) are an absolut outrage,
I for one don't mind diverse Lake Town. Being such a far off settlement, I could imagine some intermingling of people groups. Sort of like the Wild West of middle earth.
Frodoette (trans) and his lesbian lover, Samantha. Aragorn would be black for sure, and Gandalf Asian. The only white male in the whole movie would be the Balrog.
>>Arwen took Glorfindels role
That was pretty fucking bullshit desu
Elves didn't use women on the battlefield in LOTR. I think women warriors was only present for the Wainriders in all of Middle-Earth.
Geographically Lake-town is pretty close to Rhun, so I won't be surprised if there were a few Easterlings living or at least trading there. But, of course, there was no mention of that in the book itself
and easterling traders look like sub-saharan diversity cast women?
obviously they took two pictures in the same stance, duh
"...out of Far Harad black men like half-trolls with white eyes and red tongue"
Return of the King, Battle of the Pelennor Fields
So, possibly
It would have:
>James Franco as Aragon
>the Rock as Sam
>Kevin Hart as Frodo
>Jason Momoa as Gimli
>Legolas would be the same, but openly gay instead of in the closet
>Channing Tatum as Boromir
>Cgi Christopher Lee
>The Dinkster as Gollum
>Danny McBride and Seth Rogan as Merry and Pippin
>Shaq makes his triumphant acting return as Gandalf
I have a hard time imagine they would have been tolerated by the laketown citizens. dark == evil
Sounds pretty neat.
One of the first things I noticed as a kid, I don't really think Arwen is supposed to be that powerful in Tolkien books.
Probably, since Rhun and Harad had plenty of military conflicts with Dale and their dwarven overlords. But during The Hobbit they were I think at peace, so technically traders are not impossible.
I'm discussing LOTR lore with a Swiss on Sup Forums on New Year's Eve. It is such a sad, hollow existence I lead
I dunno if you're trying to trigger me but I'd watch that movie any day of the week
Legolas is not gay though, he loved Tauriel in the Hobbit at least. He got cucked super hard in the movie though
It's called a beard my dude