Britfag here. Other britfags gimme ideas for Legal self defence that you can carry with you

Britfag here. Other britfags gimme ideas for Legal self defence that you can carry with you.

Other urls found in this thread:

ukpoliceonline.co.uk/index.php?/topic/22008-law-regarding-body-armor/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Just carry a knife. If you ever have to use it, having carried it is the least of your worries.

Op bumping to not get killed
Also trips

Rape alarm? If that fails shout as lod as you can, wave your hands around in the hopes it doesnt hurt the attacker so they dont take you to court and win

Good luck bruv

Rape alarm??? You know how loud that is?? I don't wanna go to prison for cussing a rapist hearing damage

If you use anything on your person to defend yourself it can be classed as premeditated, even something innocent looking like those "tactical pens"

But if you must carry something, you can legally carry a 3 inch non-locking knife, I suggest a friction folder like pic related, which is locked in place when you hold it.

A shield. Not a riot one, just some knight shield. They are no weapons and you can defend yourself pretty well. Also good to bash someone's teeth in.

Seriously, bin that.

In the eyes of the UK law
there's no such thing as a Self Defence Weapon
If you are carrying ANY weapon, legal or not, for the sole purpose of self defence you are breaking the laws in the United Kingdom – fact…..
The laws for buying, owning and using a weapon in the United Kingdom are mighty strict – and rightly so – we have some of the lowest injury and death statistics in the world.
This can only be attributed to a near zero tolerance approach towards weapons of all sorts.

A Bag or Sock of batteries. Good bludgeoning weapon and not too suspicious If someone asks, just say you keep them on you just in case you need them and none will be the wiser. I recommend 3 AA batteries if you're keeping it in a pocket or 2 D-Cell batteries if you have somewhere else to keep them.

Something solid in between you're fists can work as well, Like a lighter. Saying that, one of those small pocket deodorant cans you can get and a lighter could work. Even if they don't actually do that much damage in reality, Ahmed's not gonna fuck with the guy with a handheld flamethrower.

If all else fails, take some sort of self defence martial arts class. I'm personally of the philosophy of "Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six". It's better to be jailed for bullshit and alive than beheaded by Muhammad.

Leatherman or ceramic knife is the go to option

Baseball bat and bowie knife and shovel hidden in the car

Best thing is to thread your keys through your fingers for a spiked punch. They can't take your keys away.

Get a gun

Oh wait

You can't

The point of a weapon is increased range, retard

Top tip from this Britanon.

I hope you're enjoying your holiday break back home.

The government is the best form of protection that you can ask for.

Remember, I have my eye on you.

kek

big heavy set of keys, perfectly legal to own & carry.

Mate can you like invade us and make this country great again??

Can you invade yourselves and make your country great again? Seriously, if you can take a quarter of the globe, I'm pretty sure you can save yourselves.

Sincerely Yours Son,
America.

Come to America buy you a nice Smith & Wesson M&P 15 to know what it feels like to be free then pop off a couple hundred rounds, Then invest in a Smith & Wesson 40 Cal with some Wade cutters that do the job & send a whole group of savageser to see Allah the pig God very quickly.

A sock filled with pudding.

I can't just move to america user, it's a long process.

Jesus Christ, Nigel, you're so pathetic, how the fuck did you get like this?

You used to be so based but now it's like I don't even know you anymore.

I used to carry a couple snooker balls in two socks. If the police were ever on to you put on the socks and say the snooker balls are for your friend who just bought a new table and is short of balls. Devastating if you use them on someone's head.

An insulate flask of boiling tea

Unscrew it and throw it in the assailants face to blind him and give him some nice 3rd degree burns

Make it your life's goal. That's what I plan to do. I can't wait until I can get away from this stupid island.

A swiss army knife as the retarded british law says you cant use anything that is a designated weapon. in court you could argue that its your multi pourpose tool and you felt there was no other way to stop the attacker.
I cant believe this country. How could our parents let them cuck us like this.

Forget weapons, even carrying a biro pen could be considered premeditation.

Body armor is the only thing we can rely on. Everything up to and including a full suit of armor was still legal the last time I checked.

A rubber spoon

I know bro feels bad man

What is true. No one else can make our country great for us. We have to do it ourselves, through hard work and determination. It's our duty to expel the bullshit people believe, to campaign to get these bullshit acts removed.

Motorbike gloves with carbon fibre knuckle overlays
Or if you're a goth attach heavy chains to your jeans that can be detatched and swung

I thought body armour was considered a "weapon" by the police. I'm sure I remember reading that somewhere.

^^
the picture
brits attacking african immigrants with rubber spoons
then arrested by their own police

>A swiss army knife
The plan is complete

lmao. I can't even believe this.

You cant have bullet proof armour I think as it imply's your going to be taking bullets at somepoint in your life in a country where only the farmers and police own guns.

Steel toe boots could be useful. If you manage to block an aggressors attack and redirect it, a swift kick to the nads with a pair of those will probably get him to fuck off at the very least, and probably incapacitate him.

>Print a gun with 3d printer.

>manufacture a pin for a shotgun bullet, walking stick for example

>multiple marigold band slingshot

>throwing knifes

>ice pick

>large spanners/hammer

a

A Bulgarian Umbrella.

Google it.

We need to reverse this cuckening that adults of the time let past. Like I don't agree that we should allow fully atomatic rooty shooty's but I'd at least like a single fire fizzbang that I'd have to pass several tests to aquire in the event some bongo tries to rob my house.

Padlock + Bandana

I think I'm correct, but it seems like it might not be a good idea, since wearing one will get attention from gang members.
ukpoliceonline.co.uk/index.php?/topic/22008-law-regarding-body-armor/

>Google

It's like you want Mummy May to imprison people.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)

a good pair of fit leather gloves will already give you a much more compact punch, similar to a light hand wrap

British "food" to forcefeed your attacker and poison him

Chain mail - stops knives and your excuse is that you are wearing it to get used to the weight in preparation for a historic recreation.

>lowest injury and death statistics in the world.
>This can only be attributed to a near zero tolerance approach towards weapons of all sorts.

The most ass-backward, draconian, and tyrannical method. I'm glad our countries are separate.

If its to protect your house why don't you buy a crossbow? Also ignore the Tony Martin reference, you can legally kill a intruder.

Just buy a plane ticket to Mexico and hop across the border.

easy peasy. some lad wants to knock your lights out the best thing to do is strip completely naked and if you can shit in your hands. they wouldn't want to go anywhere near you after that

I don't even mind the process of getting a firearms license if they allowed pistols on your own property (or even at a shooting range cause god dammit I can't die without using a good revolver at least once)

You didn't get the umbrella reference.

>he doesn't use Brave

What about your own body?

Try Krav Maga.

polonium-210 is pretty expensive tb h

Also to the OP, make a weapon out of a 25 cm log piece of rebar.

Yeah and look if the laws were like well you can carry a 2ft machete and it's legal then you'd get chavs carrying around 2ft machetes threatening you.

The trick has always been to live in an area where you don't actually need self defense because basically everyone is civilized, if you're in a massive city then move to a smaller one, I'm In Norwich and we get violent crime with weapons almost never because we're 250k people and about 99.9% white.

if you can get away with it live in a smaller and quieter neighbourhood, if it's expensive to live there then there's only other civilized people around you. Villages are great, they're full of either old people who have lived there their entire lives or rich people who moved there to get a house where it's quiet and literally the only thing you have to worry about is the local pub running out of crisps on a sunday.

Chavs are stupid but they're street smart they know what to carry and where to injure you (legs/arms) so they can't get done for lethal assault, and whatever you can carry knife or protection wise they can also carry legally. You seriously want to get into a knife fight? Do you know how terrifying that actually is?

Be smart, carry cards only that are insured, carry a phone you can remote lock, keep the cash to a min, don't sport stupid unecessary flashy jewelry like expensive watches. If you get stood up just hand your shit over, and go and cancel your cards and order some new ones.

All this hurrr well if I carry a taser or knife or whatever. Yeah if you're asking that question and some chav comes at you one night, you're going to lose, they spend their entire lives fighting. If you're even encourntering that at all you're fucking doing it wrong. Get a job and move up the social ladder and out of that life ffs.

Got a compound bow for home defence. Christmas presi off my redpilled gf. but for walking around?! dunno i've purchased a sling shot (not arrived through the post yet) could probably carry it around in a bag.

>200 years ago a Briton could walk down the street with a sword on his hip
>2017 can't even carry a 5 inch knife
What happened Bongs, you used to be so good.

Or just be a hermit who only goes out to walk his huge dog that growls at chavs and shitskins anyway.

Jews happened, soon america will be the same.

You can still get a pistol.

Everyone that says you cannot doesnt have a fucking clue what they are talking about.

What? Are you referring to the humane dispatch pistols which are only given out in very specific circumstances?

Or the long barrel revolvers?

a syringe of swine blood?

You could try the old scouse trick of two stanley blades taped together with a matchstick between them - makes the wounds far harder to stitch together

>I'm in Norwich

Holy shit senpai so am I which part of the city?

Where do you think of the UEA students?

A bicycle wheel. You may have to get it register it though.

Holy fuck lad, nice bloody Quads. Kek truly favours the Swiss

Running shoes is the top one. No kidding!
I saw an interesting youtube on this subject the other day and one tip was to always carry a gumshield... It's a significant advantage in a fight and if they see you putting it in, it gives them pause for thought.
A high powered pocket flash light/torch is another interesting idea... can blind someone for up to 10 seconds and that's plenty of time to leg it.
good leather belt with a chunky metal buckle is my default... if nothing else you can give them a symbolic ass whipping after you defeat them but that would probably be illegal.
Lots of potential ideas but definitely do some regular training in martial arts or something like that. Getting used to handling yourself in training situations is important as long as it's practical and basic stuff - not too fancy.
Keep fit and strong of course.

Yeah a dog might work, that's a good deterrent but it's a fairly large burden to look after correctly and if there is an altercation you have to be prepared for it to be put down if it's defensive of you.

On the east side of Norwich, I don't run into the UEA students much other than on night outs, brother went there and there's some OK guys coming out, just depends who you meet and who you hang with, me and most of my friends and people I know who studied there are all compsci guys so we're all pretty chill.

It's a fucking excellent city because it's small, easy to manage and about the worst thing that can happen is on a night out at a club and that shit is so well policed these days that there's basically nothing to worry about.

Plus there's really no significant amount of niggers or shitskins here, the place is actually the most atheistic city in the UK which tells you something important about the culture and how things are changing.

That's what I'm saying, if you're asking the question what weapon do I carry to best defned myself, you may have overlooked the bigger question of: Where do I live so I don't need to carry a weapon.

Protip, don't live in london, or anywhere full of cultural enrichment, and remember that only a handful of really big cities in the UK are culturally diverse, there's so many more places that are basically 100% white.

>
I will definitely buy a Swiss army knife now!

High powered torch is actually the best thing you can carry, there's a reason why all security guards carry one.

jif lemon with added cayenne pepper to the lemon juice..fiery face!

just get a High Powered crossbow, some of them are so powerful the bolt will go through your brown assailant and hit the black assailant behind him, either that or get a longbow and reek havoc like the good old days

We didn't have an issue with gun crime until society began to collapse, just like you.

In fact we both had, when pretty much every single person was armed, some of the lowest crime in the world. There was so many guns floating around that during a shoot out police were borrowing guns from passing men in the street.

bump in the night... Trip in time. Rolling pin but say it was unintentional as you just happened to have the rolling pin in your hand at the time.

Not a Brit, but if the law allows you carry a fair-sized flashlight (e.g. a Maglite) on your person, or even in a car, then that'd be a fine choice. Failing that, using keys as makeshift "spiked knuckles" wouldn't be a terrible idea.

If you don't want to or aren't allowed to carry or use anything that might be considered a weapon, then I'd learn some hand-to-hand techniques in order to protect yourself, although I wouldn't be surprised if even resisting Abdul or one of his kiddy-fiddler buddies would get you summarily executed over there.

I carry one of these. Modified with a higher pressure cylinder so it has 2x the power, and hopper filled with glass balls instead of paintballs.

Glass balls have a nice fragmentation effect if you miss your target.

>you were born just in time to retake your country, emboldened by he spirit of Henry's warriors of Agincourt

get a doggo tbqh

That's probably illegal. You should really bin it before someone finds out.

On the street a walking stick and take some bartitsu lessons.

You'd probably need to have been training from a young age to be good with a longbow
start practising now though and you will eventually get swole arms

It isn't as hard as you think. I took up archery after years of rifle shooting, the transition isn't bad. As for the longbow, they look cool but really the recurves are way better weapons, specially with a draw lock.

Nice trips.

If you can only get a pump action shotgun, get a dp-12.

Pic related.

A Quran

If you can't kill a cunt by king-hitting him then you are a faggot and don't deserve to pass on your shitty genes OP

>walking down street
>see police officer
>he notices my custom 3d printed gun/spanner with throwing knive holster attachment and handle pick
>arrests me
>mfw

Kek!

That is the ugliest gun I've ever seen

There is no legal self defense in britain. If you do anything but let the immigrant dick in your ass you're breaking the law.

Need a firearms certificate for that in the UK - which would be difficult to get and comes with all kinds of constraints.

3D printing overcomplicates things, the easiest to make gun is a slam for shotgun. This is easily made with parts from a hardware store.

But would you rather be butt raped by Ahmed or put him in a grave and deal with the law later?

BB gun

Be a farmer and get a license for a lovely looking Double-Barrel shotgun, son.

a rolled up magazine
A nigger (pretend you are his friend but really he is just protection. 5 or 6 niggers would be better)

The Airforce Texan. A .50 cal. Air powered rifle. Quiet, and great for hunting large game or sandniggers.