Americans walk around everyday with dried shit on their asses. 50% of people don't even wash their hands at all.
We are no better than poo-in-loos.
Wake up! Running water means nothing if people just "wipe" themselves with paper.
>2017
>not washing your ass in a superior bidet
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Haven't got a bidet but wet wipes are a God send.
how does your wet butt dry from the projectile butt water without paper?
>2016+1
>Not having your asian housecleaner lick the fecal matter from your anus
fuck you and your ass-douche faggot, about 6 feet of quality american made toilet paper is all you need to get clean
Bidet master race reporting in. Civilized people don't walk around with a shitty ass.
I shower twice a day and am clean enough even with toilet paper. Also, I hate wasting towels for drying my asshole from the bidet.
I find a combination of toilet paper and wet wipes work best.
I take a shower when I shit.
Why is this such a problem for people? Do you folks shit like 10 times a day or something?
not if you have mad wiping skills
This
this desu
>wake up
>shit
>shower
if you dont do this your subhuman
i don't have the money to get a bidet like you french snobs pierre but good thing i have a shower
How far do you need to clean? I've always pushed my anus out a bit to really clean up in there but I'm not sure if this is too far. Am I supposed to just get the surface?
wet wipe master race. enjoy your butt fountain.
>spaniard talks about subhumanism
What the fuck are you eating that your shit is wet or sticky?
Do they not have fiber in Europe? Usually I need about 4 squares of TP max, and even then it's just a precaution. There's not anything left up there unless I'm seriously sick or ate something with too much grease.
this
nigger tier
I clean my anus with damp flannelette after I shit
shit is aryan tier fetish tho, us germanics basically invented scat.
>are you fucking kidding me
i thought americans went through a book on their toilet break
also
>posting on the toilet
>spending a hour in the shitter
>using 4 squares of TP max
>claiming to be hygenic
american educashoon
Heres a thought for ya. Stop eating shit tier spiced up food and you wont have swamp ass. A Bidet is only needed to compensate a literal crap lifestyle.
Says the guy that wipes with a communal corn cob.
> American outhouses contained a box of red and white corn cobs. One started wiping with the red, used a white one to see if he needed to continue, and reverted to the red one if needed
>Be Estonia
>Never experience a clean break shit
Feelsbadman
>claims to have clean break shits
>shits himself in a public place
not even mad m8
Run normal toilet paper under the tap for a sec, if need be.
you have a small towel near the toilet on a hook which you use to dry your clean ass.
you wash the towel every few days
Tfw you always thought that thing was a fancy urinal
Feels like Pajeet
A bidet will only cost around $250 in the US yet no one uses it.
The more reason Americans should have one. Have you seen what we eat?
...
>Shitting in the morning
Just shower after
>Have to shit at work
Stick an extra piece of paper between buttcheeks after you are done wiping, take it out and wash ass after you get back home
Pretty embarrassing but it works
>first world (no bidets)
>hygiene
those seem mutually exclusive to me
>tfw you eat so much fiber you barely need any toilet paper
fix you're diets you silly peepole you
>not having such huge dense shits that it splashes water onto your arsehole
...
>communal ass towel
god damn australia.. just no.
I thoroughly wash my ass in the shower, can't stand the feeling of an unwashed ass
If I had to shit without being able to take a shower afterward, it bothers me until I get clean
there will ALWAYS be dried shit on your asshole.
doesn't your asshole itch? touch it and smell your finger after you're done wiping. smells like shit? that's because there's still shit on it.
do an experiment where you wipe, then wash off with a big cup of water while sitting on the toilet, like a liter. use your hand, pussy. get it all off. only takes a few seconds. dry off. wash your hands like a man.
now touch your asshole and smell your finger.
no shit smell. like magic.
Wtf? I though I was the only one who did it. Guess I'm not alone in the world.
i'd just combine the bidet with toilet papers instead of using an ass towel like some retard
>communal
It's the one kind of towel that anyine has its own in the bathroom.
Hand towel may be communal, bidet towel never is.
Pooping while squatting us the natural way to poop, it's healthier
don't you guys just use one of pic related?
there are many options in such a situation. get creative. i use an old wash rag.
>bidet
I can't live without anymore either
even though I have one I use shower fuck this shit
mate, you're missing half the experience if you dry with TP. ass towels are GOAT. no paper fibers stuck to your asshole like some yankee.
I don't have a bidet but I use wet wipes.
My asshole is spotless.
always trust a leaf to leafpost
>clean it every few days
That's fucking gross. Immediately wash it or else you're India tier
Decadent. Nice
you're using it to dab up the water off your clean ass. you're not wiping the shit off of your ass with it. and no, i'm lazy, so fuck you
after i shit i go into the shower and clean my ass.
If i had money i would use that euro gadget.
>cleaning your worthless gay ass with drinking water as it becomes more scarce as days go by
>Stage 1
Confidence brand wet wipes (unscented, aldi)
>Stage 2
wash with water using a cup i keep by the toilet and fill with water before shitting
>Stage 3
dry ass with ass towel
>Stage 4
wash hands, obviously
feels good doing it properly
You want water squirted up your ass rather than learn how to wipe properly. You gay?
The Burmese where my father works do that. Apparently whatever the fuck Burmese eat makes them spraypaint the wall and floor with shit.
>take a shit in the morning
>take a shower after taking a shit
>walk around with a clean tooshie all day
How many times do you have to shit anyway?
Get your metabolism in order and you won't shart yourself every 10 minutes.
Why not just pat it dry with tp?
wet wipes don't go in the toilet
there's no squirting involved. check my post number for the play by play
Use a bidet.
Trust me I know poop mechanics
pretty good way to die
you ever see that story about the girl who stood on top of her toilet to fix her shower curtain or clean or something? turns out ceramic is not as strong as steel, and it is really fucking sharp if it breaks.
paper fibers get stuck to the ass and surrounds
If you need a bidet, you're just incapable of properly wiping your ass and should kill yourself
>this savage doesn't have flushables
pic related
well that's just great to hear because i always slavsquat on my toilet, i hate sitting on it, too damn cold for my ass, but i guess its better than dying.
That's why I said pat it dry, not rub
Wiping your anus afther turding is gay and only faggots do it becuase they like touching down there.
Those bidets would probably do well in faggot countries like poofta france or canadia and maybe melbourne.
Yeah Americans tho.
I personally shit in morning then clean my asshole with the shower head, orienting it such that no poo gets on the head.
Never poo outside, that's disgusting
nah mate, even "flushable" ones are just a marketing lie. they all get stuck in the sewer, forming enormous globs that someone has to break down with a stick
but i use them anyway, it's just too goddamn comfy
yeah, keeping your body clean is for homos
Yeah don't do that.
Well someone has to clear the sewers out anyway so no big deal.
YES happy to see so many aus bros shower after shit
from now on not anymore.
thanks for the warning
>50% of people don't even wash their hands at all
How fucking nasty are some of you people?
>he belives the flushable kike lie
this thread is disgusting
>he uses a cup of water
You're not making this better for your case at all, my disgusting Australian shitposter
Well, all I can say on that one is wow. I guess I won't be tempted to stand on the toilet to change lightbulbs anymore.
do they share the ass towel?
I mean, squatting on top might not fuck you up so bad, assuming you were serious which i'm sure you aren;t but gonna continue for theoretical purpose anyway. As long as you're not shifting your weight, or weigh too much in the first place it should not break. She was presumably standing on top, maybe going on one leg, tippy toes, and moved around. So a lot of force... And because she was standing up she came down really hard. Fucked her up good.
Still, I take it as a lesson to never, ever, ever, ever, fucking stand on a toilet bowl.
>current year
>digging out shitchunks with one's fingers
Subhuman
should've installed ido 59
ze panzer of thrones
Hows melbourne faggot, dont sweet it, you dont need a bidet you can just stick the garden hose up your hole, fairy!
>bidet separate from toilet
How is it living 40 years in the past?
Tfw dry ass with hand towel then dry hands with same towel
>you ever see that story about the girl who stood on top of her toilet to fix her shower curtain or clean or something? turns out ceramic is not as strong as steel, and it is really fucking sharp if it breaks.
Can contest, was drunk and toilet got stuck so took the top off and it slipped out of my hands, when I was grabbing it near the floor it broke and sliced a vein in my hand open. Was bleeding like a god damn mad man, left a huge pool of blood in the bathroom, had a drink and a cig to wait for it to settle and it still bled, eventually just said fuck it and passed out in bed only to wake up to my bad and walls being covered in blood, there was also like a 3 inch by 12 inch congealed blood jelly pool on the floor which actually looked and felt like it would taste great. The point is don't fuck with ceramic, it will fucking slice your shit up and one cut can seriously wound you.
>wipe my dick after pissing; push down on my taint and squeeze my dick like a tube of toothpaste to massage out stubborn drops, then wipe again
>shove fingers deep into my ass (covered by toilet paper of course) to make sure I'm clean up to an inch
>wipe with dry paper first, then wipe with wet toilet paper (I run it under the tap), then wipe with dry paper again
Feels good to be hygienic, and I don't even need a bidet.
I feel sorry for the neanderthals who walk around with dry shit on their anus and let urine leak into their underpants.
>Never poo outside
Are you retarded? Best feeling ever, you will never have to push it again
Not taking responsibility for sharing a communal poo rag
I have a bidet. Had it since I moved in here around 15 years ago. Not gonna lie, I've only ever used it once. The cold water splashing on my asshole felt so uncomfortable and nasty, I didn't want that again. Been using it every once in a while to wash my feet.
...
> Only costs $250
> Plus another $500 to have your entire bathroom torn apart and new plumbing installed
> Because you eat so many burritos and drink so much energy sludge that your feces squirt and dribble out in a gelatinous glue
what exactly is the meaning of this post?
You're literally the first fucking leaf poster in this thread, does it really have to be a shitpost ??
The issue is you need to spread your legs and have your feet forward of the rim so your ass is actually over the bowl
They sell little stands you can put around your toilet so you can get the angle right
I'm sorry to say but squatting is the natural healthy way to shit. That's how you actually clear that colon and prevent butt cancer. I don't have a bidet bUT I do wash my ass in the tub next to my toilet using my shower head.
Its weird how japan doesn't really market the robot toilet to the foreign market.
Maybe they do but i have never seen one.