I'm almost 21 and realise nothing matters. I don't care if I die tomorrow anymore. I've been depressed since I was 14-15. I don't think I have depression anymore because I realize how futile everything is. I can feel myself dying every day and it's not scary anymore. After having sex a few times I realized how pointless and overrated that shit was. After working I realized how pointless that was.
I feel like I've been through enough existential crisis that I'll never have them again. I feel like I've figured life out completely and just don't care what happens anymore. I hope I don't die a painful death and I'll try to enjoy myself before that happens, but I don't really care about dying anymore.
What kind of careers are actually fulfilling? Science I guess? I want to devote my life to something interesting that might actually make a difference, but even then I'll die and it'll be futile and I won't see the full benefits.
Is this common? Is this what being an adult feels like? Or better get a 60 year old man?
I just don't care about anything. If anything I just want to live long enough to see cool scientific progressions. I don't care about sex or drugs or partying, and I'm fine sitting in a room on my computer. I'm actually happier than I've been in a while. It's pretty odd.
Read about Socrates who became wise when he realized he knew nothing.
I was a jaded little faggot like you too. You will grow out of it.
Adrian Flores
The reward mechanisms in your brain are fucked up OP. Get some low-amp electrical stimulation to your brain to fix that.
It's called tDCS.
Adrian Garcia
I'm also not afraid to die. But I'm not depressed. Also I didn't read the rest of your post because it was too long.
Adam Stewart
Such is nihilism, but there's an alternative.
Jace Thomas
does she have a dick?
Angel Murphy
I'm only here for a higher quality pic of pic related
Christian Martinez
Why don't you stop this, hmm? You're a sniveling side effect, some unwanted sore on the face of this place. Go take your drivel somewhere else, boy.
David Davis
Ya obviously, all that DMT, psilocybin, and LSD may have prepared me. But ay you're never prepared, right?? ;P
Christian Harris
Did a gallon of period blood just gush out of her vagina all over the floor?
Daniel Walker
>something interesting that might actually make a difference killing non-whites?
Ian Lee
Depression is an illusion, you are the master of your own mind.
Luis Lopez
Buy a rifle and become the new Washington sniper, but with niggers only as your taget. You'll feel alive then.
Camden Price
Why don't you get with a woman?
Jackson Watson
>edgy mouthbreather just discovers nihilism and wants to kill himself
go ahead faggot
Aaron Mitchell
Where are the mods on this board?
Mason Harris
Read books. You need perspective on life and literature is the best place to get perspective. (Literature, not meme books like harry potter)
Carter Nguyen
I'm literally the same as you OP but older,i can't even be assed to put in the effort to bang chicks or get a girlfriend.But if you want a race war wait a little while longer.
Andrew Hernandez
don't feel your life is unimportant. Post some nudes and you will be incredibly popular here.
Jaxon Turner
i just want someone to talk to
i'm so lonely
idiot
Liam Torres
Nihilism is a meme
Anyone that truly cares about the meaning of life has too much free time.
James Reyes
Yeah, pretty much this. Wisdom is gained in intervals of 3 years and I am consistently astonished by how retarded I was 3 years ago. I felt kinda similar around the age of 18-19. I am about to turn 25 now (holy fuck it feels weird typing that) and my views have changed dramatically on a lot of things. I am willing to bet that once I hit 26 or 27, I'll be even wiser
Jose Robinson
hahahahahahah first world faggots and their problems, do something for your life nigger
James Campbell
>edgy mouthbreather just discovers nihilism and wants to kill himself >go ahead faggot
You at least realized the irony, right?
Juan Lewis
You probably have a personality disorder.
It's okay though. Eventually you'll get bored of sitting around and decide to go do something. You'll gradually work your way from minor diversions up to bigger projects, and eventually you will achieve great things as casually as one would make dinner plans. Without ever really trying, you will have made your mark on history. You will probably never care about any of it, but hey, it's something to do. Maybe you'll look back on it all on your deathbed and think "Well that was fun."
Meanwhile, the people who are normal, who take life seriously and care a lot about things will pop out a couple of kids, spend the rest of their lives working meaningless jobs to support them, and then waste the rest of their lives trying to convince everyone else that it was totally what they wanted to do with themselves, right up until they die in obscurity with nothing but their equally-insignificant replacements to show for it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you really don't feel the unholy compulsion to go Be Somebody(R), you should probably just keep rolling with it.
Jonathan Rivera
I'm not although physically fight or flight would still kick in during a life or death situation.
I don't have much to live for. I'm 25, no friends, never had a gf, and working a dead end job. The only person that actually cares about me is my mother but she has mental/emotional issues.
Cameron Jenkins
There's Real Life action to be had in Detroit or Chicago.
Noah Johnson
yeah nihilism woooo it's probably your habits, it sounds cliche but if you picked up a knitting class and went fishing then helped bums return glass bottles on your free time I guarantee you things would be looking different for you, even if you find these activities inherently and superficially "lame" shit examples but as far fetched i can draw up on short notice. you're fine being on your computer because it's a habit forming activity, brain doctors know this "they" know this, and capitalize on it. especially anything with interactivity like a video game. oddly enough being in that bubble is rewarding, if you let your mind leave your desk, or off the palm of your hand (take that how you want it) then, you'll look around and see nothing but ashes forming in the fuel of your existence, burning idly so and you will realize "this is dying, this way" to each his own, but you only get one real death, feel free to make the act of dying slow more interesting until the reflections are no longer anxious and compulsive.
what this guy said
Aiden Davis
You don't have to be a nihilist to not fear death.
Austin Barnes
Literally do something new every few days/week. And learn something new every couple of months ans your life will change bigly and it will not seem to be a drag.
Evan Miller
I was never afraid to die. It's always nearby and people should embrace the cruel reality of it.
Elijah Garcia
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Owen Richardson
I was never afraid to die. Got deployed to a warzone, I honestly didn't care at all. Heard explosions near me, but I never felt afraid of death.
But then I got married and had kids. Now I want to be around for them, hopefully guide them a bit through this world that can be nightmarish at times and beautiful at others.
Jason Smith
> 21
You're still a baby retard, I thought the same when I was your age.
Aiden Ramirez
At least you're not me. I'm nearly 28, still live with my parents, went to university, graduated right as the economy was collapsing, only worked meaningless jobs, back in university now, still living with parents, no relationships in years, pretty meh sex life. I've basically wasted my life but I'm kind of hoping we achieve immortality or can become cyborgs some time within my lifetime so that it won't matter in the end.
Leo Hughes
I guess being afraid to die is what keeps me alive.
David Sullivan
Do you even lift?
This is a very normal early experience in young adulthood. Let it shape you. Let Christ instruct you.
Bentley Wright
There's a lot you can do. The fact that you're giving it this much thought and asking these kinds of questions obviously means that things matter to you.
Do yourself (and me) a favor - pick up the phone and call a crisis clinic, a local United Way office or even the local ACLU - any organization that does intake and referral - and ask for a referral to a social worker. It's a good place to start going where you want to go.
You do care; and you do matter. Go - get the answers you are seeking. Good luck.
Jackson Flores
Die for our cause.
Mason Lee
what sort of "personality disorder" are we talking about exactly? and which one do you have?
Gabriel Clark
Of course you don't care, you're 21. Leave the internet alone for 5 minutes, do something that you find interesting and stop worrying about finding 'meaning'.
Joseph Taylor
how do you "find something interesting"? different user but i'd really like to know how this works
Robert Nguyen
Learn an instrument. I started learning piano only 6 months ago (I'm 22) and it's so enjoyable and takes up so much time that I plan on pursuing until I die.
Lincoln Baker
In Australia, living under the constant threat of Emu aggression makes life interesting.
Blake Peterson
take out chiraqis when you kys
Joshua Bailey
can you post your dick? nothing matters so just satisfy my lust
William Harris
Try getting into medicine. Go oversea if you couldn't get into one in the US.
Jackson Cooper
I feel like OP except older and terrified of dying, which is in tension with the constant existential crisis that is waking existence.
Nathaniel Bennett
Get a motorcycle user, it's a really good reason to live
Elijah Sanders
>I'm almost 21
>I feel like I've figured life out completely
YOU ARE A WALKING STEREOTYPE, BOY.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A FUCKING THING YET, TRUST ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DEPRESSED IS.