"You don't need a gun because you can just call the police :^)"

youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc

"You can just use the tazer!!"

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youtube.com/watch?v=GorgFtCqPEs
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Not funny.
I was raped by a gun

bump

"I tried stabbin' him and it made him worse" :)

Kek thats a good one

Feel like owning a gun would be common sense if you got a chimp

he dindu nuffin, he a good boy would never do noting like dat!

The fuck is that thing

>it was an actual chimpanzee

Who's this fucking 911 operator? How are you asking so many retarded questions? Dude answers the phone like he can't believe someone called him with an emergency and it sounds like barely gets english. This is hysterical.

I was thinking the same thing, but he had to process that an old lady just said a chimp ate her girlfriends face.

was it a black glock?

you realize they get so many retarded calls a day that they have to do this now, its illegal to call 911 without an emergency.

I know you krauts love the big black glock

Wonder if Minnesota & Sweden emergency operators are used to it by now.

nice quads but i don't see your point.

Which is more dangerous? A "chimp out" type chimp or a literal chimp?

true, but i'd imagine their training says to take every call very serious.

idk, it'd be hard for me to take it serious i guess, but maybe that's why i'm not a 911 operator.

Also, tfw Missouri is a big chimp breeding and export state and they've had "the chimpening" for like that past 2 years. (she bought it in Missouri)

a literal chimp. A nigger chimping out becomes terrified if he is alone, and outmanned. A chimpanzee, even outnumbered, will become a ball of fury and violence.

she looks very sexy. btw i'm poor need money.

>niggers chimp out
>get looted, maybe shot and killed

>chimp chimps out
>get mauled and brutalized to a near death
>disfigured, blinded, crippled for life

I'd rather get shot and killed

Does anyone else hate the way actual chimps are characterizes in media as happy go lucky and friendly when in reality they're fucking niggers who could decapitate you with a pinkie?

>"b-but he can always teleport behind you and steal your gun/knife after you drop it!!! "
This is what retards actually believe.

You'd like that, wouldn't you Germany?

you don't need a gun if you don't live in a shithole country that abitrarily forces huge chunks of its population to live in squalor.

you brain dead apes.

When they get into fights in the wild they will kill rival babies then eat and play with the corpse.

>two old hags met a chimp in some bar.
>they brought him home for some afterparty
>they had been leading him on all night
>when he tried to make a move on the first woman, she rejected him
>they kept drinking until one of the women said it was late and asked him if they could call him a cab
>wtf? he didnt spend all that time for nothing!?
>he tries to make a last move on the other woman.
>but she says shes married.
>in a rage he rips her face off.

classic teases

>Charla Nash

She deserves it for poking it.

Gorillas are easily much calmer and go lucky. They do mock charges and shit but rarely fuck up people.
youtube.com/watch?v=GorgFtCqPEs
>Koko asked Mister Rogers what his watch was
>Wanting to know and learn is what separates humans from animals

Agreed. Chimpanzees are fucking terrifying. I don't know how there are still dumbasses out there in the exotic pet trade that keep these things in their house in a fucking daiper

Funny how Missouri is chimp central in more ways than one

someone who got their face torn off by a chimpanzee. iirc it bit her fingers off too

What scientists project the average white american will look like in 2050.

God I never realize negros could be this savage.

They can rip you in half. 20x stronger than human man pound-for-pound

Thanks Joe Rogan.

Liberals lol.

>muhh girlfriend
>muhh pet chimpanzee

What could go wrong

Think you're confusing Gorillas with chimps

What's the story? Did the chimp just wake up one day and decide to tear a woman's face off?

She got CHIMP'D

I didn't watch the video and only halfway through the thread I figured out y'all were talking about an actual chimp, I just assumed she paid the toll.

They fed it tea laced with Xanex the night before. It was their pet for a number of years