I stole my first phone today

>be me
>brazilian
>no prospect in life whatsoever
>see 400 pounds average american type sjw tourist flashing his/her mc donalds stained cameras on everything that moves
>follows her/him as he/she (we never sure of gender) goes to the beach and complains that bikini objectifies women and that brazilian women like to show their asses to the people on the street
>complains men are staring at their asses that the women are literally pointing upwards
>lose my shit
>she picks up her phone
>obvious tumblr page paints her screen
>i start running shirtless with only my swim pants and grab her phone and run away
>she starts screaming but I get in bus and no one does anything
>40 minutes later she is blocking her iPhone on the Apple site
>still totally worth it

I've become a full brazilian today. I'm proud. My initation is complete.

>carioca
Help make this country less shit by killing yourself

Should have wrapped it in aluminium foil. So she wouldn't have been able to block it remotely.

Monkeys seem to love shiny objects that aren't theirs.

>Sulista
Help make this country less shit by pretending you are white

Sorry, Argentina-bro.

I'm still new to this stealing things. I am only a mestizo.

But I will learn with you the next time.

Cool, see you on the front page of Liveleak bro

pew pew

Just remember that there are no black hackers.

porra cara. e bom ta aqui nos estados unidos. sai dai e vem pra ca. vende esse iphone e cai fora desse lugar fudido.

If you plan on using it, do a DFU wipe

I wish I could come to the USA.

Is it hard to get a visa?

I have no degree. My english is B1.

I'm broken beyond belief.

Yes, I'm planning on using the phone. Either that or selling it to some dumbass on OLX.

we're full, nigger

I promisse I won't steal anything.

Book a return ticket to Seattle or Portland for a 'holiday'. Once you get there overstay your visa and become friends with some liberal hippy people who will help you get under the table jobs as a dishwasher or something.

I have seen enough of your countrymen at Disney World to know that there is no hope for your people. I'm sorry.

Your only way out is Soccer or MMA.

pics or it didn't happen

You're quite well spoken and lucid for a fevalado.

I'm not a favelado. I became one today

I live in Seattle and I can confirm that if you were to fly here and then overstay your visa you would probably get a party thrown by the city government itself.

That is nice.

That shit has a GPS tracker. Get rid of it ASAP

Police wouldn't come after me even if it had a teletransporter attached to it.

kek

>Based as fuck

I hope the cucks you robbed were numales or SJW and they deserved it.