...a Serb decided to fuck his ass with a bottle and blamed Albanians for it.
>a Serbian farmer from Kosovo who was at the centre of a notorious incident in May 1985, when he was treated for injuries caused by the forceful insertion of a glass bottle into his anus.
>On 1 May 1985, Đorđe Martinović, a 56-year-old resident of the Kosovo town of Gnjilane, arrived at the local hospital with a broken bottle wedged in his rectum. He claimed that he had been attacked by two Albanian-speaking men while he was working in his field. After being interviewed by a Yugoslav People's Army colonel, Martinović reportedly admitted that his injuries had been self-inflicted in a botched attempt at masturbation. Public investigators reported that "the prosecutor made a written conclusion from which it appears that the wounded performed an act of 'self-satisfaction' in his field, [that he] put a beer bottle on a wooden stick and stuck it in the ground. After that he sat 'on the bottle and enjoyed'."
>A second opinion was sought and provided a month later by a commission under Professor Dr. Janez Milčinski.[4] The Milčinski team concluded that Martinović could have inserted the bottle by positioning it on a stick, which he had pushed into the earth, but had slipped during masturbation and broke the bottle in his rectum under the force of his body's weight.
You literally can't make this shit up.
