Prison stories

I start my job as a prison officer next month, in a youth offender jail.

I need as much info as possible. I am nervous as fuck.

Don't drop any soap. If you do the soap gets dirty and you won't be able to clean your doodoo hole.

What qualifications do you need? for this job?

seems like someone who would want that job is the type of person who is looking for some type of confrontation, not being nervous.

none.

You do 4 situaitonal judgment tests online, then a maths test. If you get a good enough mark they invite you to an assessment day and a fitness test.

The pay is good and it's extremely stable because nobody wants to do this job.

I did see vacancy for a prison officer job online.
I may apply.

Last time I got lifted (schizo GF flipped out on me, called the plod when I bolted from her crazy ass) the police were quite decent, and professional, they treated me with respect and I was not going to act like a dick in front of them - but it was G4S who ran the security for the holding cells. Absolute cunts, thought they ran the show.
If you are working for G4S, they will abuse their power and be resented for it straight back by the inmates, even ones who wouldn't normally have any issues. There is currently a rise in jail riots and everyone knows this.
I am not trying to put you off the job or be judgemental, as I have worked as security too (at a homeless hostel, not the same but kinda similar), and realise a man has to work, but I am just letting you know the reality of the situation.

Here where i live 3 kids in a youth offender jail are making life hell for 20 adults

You can't hit them
You can't scold them
You can't do shit
Let them kill themselves
They are mostly trash

you posted this same thread before

former youth corrections officer from north texas

>most coworkers treat it as glorified security job
>a lot of the kids will respond to parent-like authority when applied correctly
>a lot will try to be punks and fight the system
>when someone acts out, saying something like "I know you're pissed off because you're in jail!" you can then bridge the above to teach them a life lesson
>protect the kids getting picked on (even the sex offenders) because one 13 YO sex off. got murdered in our facility
>coworker got convicted of negligent manslaughter or some shit
>unless the kids are in their cells dont take your eyes off them
>if they are out of the cell have them stand at least 3 meters away from you when talking

There was this one nigger who used to make prison wine in his asshole. He would shove a bag of fruit cocktail and sugar packets in his ass and let it ferment over the course of a week. He then would trade shots for cigarettes and bags of skittles. They called him Pruno Man.

Nah I'm employed by ministry of justice.

Good stuff, I am from Scotland, they obviously have a better approach elsewhere. It may be worth sticking with.

that sounds fake as shit but is funny as fuck

Is that what they call "bum wine"?

>one 13 YO sex off. got murdered in our facility
wtf

kid was talking about what he did to his brother and sister by showing off his court documents

looked like an innocent kid at first with a good family but shouldve kept his mouth shut. people would've found out anyways but shit is his fault for not stopping to talk about his crimes (i guess other detainees wanted to hear more)

basically he got strangled and his body was hidden for a few hours

Knew a guard in Angola said they like to rape cats they find in the complex

Enjoy dealing with MRSA sores on young heroin junkies. Everyone will hate you and you WILL eventually get to tazer some people for fighting or something of the sort. Homeless kids brought in will sometimes dig through the trash for food and lots of people will try to sneak shit into cells.

Enjoy it.

Show no weakness, show no mercy. Don't belive anything they tell you, they're in there for a reason. DO NOT get with five feet of the criminals unless your breaking up a fight with your mates/instructed to under supervisor. Most of all be safe, and always have somebody with you.
Good luck, you'll need it.

>Show no weakness, show no mercy.

Pretty sure this is the wrong attitude to have.

It's the truth, if you do they will throw their cum n shit at you, and will rape you if they get half a chance. Go back to fairy land re-re

>babysitting little punks in UKistan
Meanwhile, in America...