You wake up and find out that everyone in the middle east thinks you're the reincarnation of Mohammed

>You wake up and find out that everyone in the middle east thinks you're the reincarnation of Mohammed
>You are asked to solve the crisis in the middle east
>Every middle eastern government is willing to listen to you but may not agree with your decision
How do you fix the middle east, Mohammed?
>hard mode; no war/nukes

Declare jihad on israel

Build a Wall.

Muslim mass suicide

should have put that as easy mode too

>solve the crisis in the middle east

Implying there is a crisis in the middle east. Westerners view things on a very short timeline, ~100 years. The middle east has been at war since 6000 B.C.

>Jihad isreal
>invade poo in loo land and china
>europe and north america is haram stay away

The last time somebody claimed he was the reincarnation of Mohammed his armies were annihilated, people enslaved and cities laid to waste. Seriously though the whole place needs one government.

This is really sad desu.

Tell them I was wrong and that Islam was a mistake. Christ is the Messiah

create a fascist pan-middleeastern empire and invade the poo in loos

Teel them they're just being used by the American government to start rebellions that America can clean and kill russia.

They're not hot shit and need to take down any rebel groups that are being controlled by the cia.

I unno

I was thinking split it up into Persia (iran and iraq) and arabia (everyone else). Then declare jihad on all the current governments and israel. After that say that they must have a proportional democracy or else they're going to hell.

Oh and make friends with russia

No. They could and should all stay together. Persia included. Jihad on Israel would be catastrophic and is unnecessary. They should ideally make a deal with the Israelis and have all the arabs move out. The goverments of most current nations could be overthrown through coups/revolutions. They cant go directly to a democracy. They need a good leader first to create the state before it eventually becomes a democracy.

I'd push for normal fucking behavior, or at least steps towards it.

>No sex with anyone below 16
>Stay in your own lands, fix them, be proud of them.
>Control your borders, your neighbor's fuckups belong to your neighbor.
>Pork is okay but not in deserts, they require too much water.
>Thieves and murderers must do productive work for society or be hanged until your nation is wealthy enough for a criminal reform system.
>Be nice to doggos
>Homosexuality is a sin
>Gauges are degenerate, as are all piercings on men.
>Everyone must serve 2 years in the military to learn how to not be a bitch or an autist. Military work includes national project construction in times of peace.

"Time to move to Europe!"

Ideally ally with china who they've never really had any conflict with now or historically.

>Chinese
>Middle east
>No conflict

Muslims must advocate ethno-nationalism for all people.
Arabs need to stay in the Middle East, to leave the Middle East as an Arab is a sin.
A jew leaving Israel or living anywhere but in Israel is a sin.
The moment a nigger or a mudslime goes to Europe they've committed a crime punishable by death.

Tell all my brethren that our new holy land is Western Europe and that it is our duty and right to leave the Middle East and settle there.

What conflict have they had aside from one major battle in 751? and even shortly after that they became allies and basically annihilated the Tibetan empire. Historically they were trading partners and still are.

Based Lativa. The Arabian Peninsula should be established as a sort of "holy land" for Muslims, it's their ancestral homeland.

Kill the ginger cow

>thinking the reason wars in ME is because of Russia
Kek you're an idiot

>Tell them if they kill themselves then the will go to paradise and this is what Allah demands
>muzzies neck themselves
>problem solved forever and all time

/Thread
You faggots had your time and you pissed it away with self immolation and adopting a kike religion and then building everything you know around it
America will be fine on its own, Muslims can have you

Probably read the Koran, then approach the eu stating we(Muslims) need to go back to the holy land and help our people. It's literally the best option.

This ain't old school shit, this is the last 10 years. Hate for Islam is on the rise in China, which gives no fucks about PC culture.

Chinese Muslims, the Hui, are most prominent in the Xinjiang province. That same province banned burqas because they refuse to allow other cultures to subvert theirs. To prove that it wasn't about clothing, they banned members of the Chinese Community Party from Ramadan.

Let me repeat that: They are not allowed to follow a Muslim holiday of fasting or else they're kicked from the country's leading political party.

China is fucking based

That's not the Hui, its the Ughyr. Nobody cares about the Ughyr. Hui have one province (Ningxia) and the rest live throughout China and usually support the government while the Uyghur are separatists. The only reason Xinjiang is part of china in the first place is because a hui warlord conquered it and have it to the PRC. Regardless that doesn't have anything to do with their rleations in the middle east because again barely anyone cares about the Ughyr. Not even the Kazakhs or Hui.

Keep telling yourself, see how they treat them in the coming years.

>How do you fix the middle east, Mohammed?
I don't. I spend my days being worshiped and banging hot arab sluts until I am killed.

Also the Hui population of Xinjiang is an entire 50% of the Hui population in Ningxia (their own province), they're absolutely targeted by the policies in Xinjiang.

The Hui are absolutely targeted.

Support in Iran is high because they sell them weapons, support in Pakistan is high because they are building an economic corridor there and they protect them from India. In Arabia they are the main buyer of their oil. They have never taken part in any middle eastern war. I don't see them changing their stance any time soon as it's not beneficial for them.

Fpbp

get them to exterminate all the niggers

first step would be annihilating the rebel occupation of half of syria so that syria would be free to focus its efforts on isis instead

>How do you fix the middle east
Same way you fix Russia: by sending there 200 millions of Chinese.

There's less than a million Hui in Xinjiang out of the 10 million Hui in chia. They are given more freedoms than the Ughyr. One of the vice premiers of china was Hui until 2013.

China is communist bro. They hate all religions.
Protip: confucianism is not a religion.

Tell them I am ashamed of what they do in my name then fake my suicide.

I remember watching a documentary by Louis Theroux about a mental institution and there was a dude who had this delusion, he thought muslims had mistaken him for the reincarnation of Mohammed and Benjamin Netanyahu was sending him psychic messages warning him that muslims were coming to take him to the middle east so he got in his car and drove off through traffic at 100mph injuring 22 people since even mentalists know the middle east is a shithole and you don't want to hang about muslims.

>t. 60% white

Also the government allows Hui children to go to Islamic school even though its against the law for all the other religions and peoples.

This "rebel opposition" that you speak of is the only thing standing in the way of full-scale genocide by their PROVEN EVIL dictator Assad. If we don't support the rebels then get ready for a lifetime of hardship for the Syrian people.

>China banned a book titled "Xing Fengsu" ("Sexual Customs") which insulted Islam and placed its authors under arrest in 1989 after protests in Lanzhou and Beijing by Chinese Hui Muslims, during which the Chinese police provided protection to the Hui Muslim protestors, and the Chinese government organized public burnings of the book.[196][197][198][199] The Chinese government assisted them and gave into their demands because Hui do not have a separatist movement, unlike the Uyghurs.[200] Hui Muslim protesters who violently rioted by vandalizing property during the protests against the book were let off by the Chinese government and went unpunished while Uyghur protestors were imprisoned.[201]
In 2007, anticipating the coming "Year of the Pig" in the Chinese calendar, depictions of pigs were banned from CCTV "to avoid conflicts with ethnic minorities".[202] This is believed to refer to China's population of 20 million Muslims (to whom pigs are considered "unclean").
In response to the 2015 Charlie Hebdo shooting Chinese state-run media attacked Charlie Hebdo for publishing the cartoons insulting Muhammad, with the state-run Xinhua advocated limiting freedom of speech, while another state-run newspaper Global Times said the attack was "payback" for what it characterised as Western colonialism and accusing Charlie Hebdo of trying to incite a clash of civilizations.[203][204]

Declare that the muslim rapture is near and vaginal sex is forbidden also getting kids is forbidden. And if it happens the newborn has to be sacrificed to Allah. Wait 70 years problem solved.

tell them all to all adopt camels as currency and refuse to trade oil in anything else

I would Jim Jones every single one of them.

Kek'd and checked.

This

A FUCKING LE....wait that's a pretty neato idea.

yo

Declare that killing for faith shames Allah. Do you want to shame Allah? Everyone who doesn't believe in Allah will see when they die, why scare them into fake-believing, now?
Establish a single Muslim nation in the Middle-East, let Israel be its own thing, get the Palestinians out. Establish New Persia for Zoroastrians, rest of Iran joins New Muslim World. Establish democracy as being something Allah finds cool, wish he had thought of it earlier. But, hey, that's what his children are for, right? Generally, water down Islam into something like Christianity, try to make us First World.

:DDDD

Ask Israel to provide water to my baron lands. If they refuse we take the water by force.

>it is our duty to bring the Kaba into outer space
>we must convert Mecca into a space station
>we must prove to the world that muslims are superior, not by forcing ourselves onto them, but by having them beg to join us
>lock them out, build a new society, focus on space travel

Maybe it'd work. Maybe it wouldn't. At least I'd create a system that would keep them off of white people's backs while simultaneously encouraging a system that promotes scientific progress.

>No war/nukes ?
Name it unholy and as sinful as being the recipient in a gay relation to kill anything that is not for food or to defend a nation not the religion

Any Muslim that violates this is to be stoned to death immidiatly

War is haram.

(OP)

Make it haram to receive welfare and to make kids if you cannot give them a princely life. Encourage them to be hard working and be charitable so the whole world may know that they are the best. Tell them to pursuit the arts and sciences because the one who masters it is getting closer to god. Only have one version of the religion and the one you say will be the absolute. The ones who cannot fulfill these requirements are shameful and will not be allowed to partake in heaven and in the religion itself.

ask everyone to read the new math code 19 quran and follow it to end internal power struggles in the religipus theology across countries.

submission.org

Ba'athism