EU4 Thread

Post stories or greentexts about why France is horrible

>Start as a Hungarian duke in Croatia in CK2
>le absolutely historical Hungary and Croatia gavelkind separation happens
>get sandwiched between HRE and Byzantium
>Mongols fuck the latter up
>Crusades happen
>get Serbia and later Greece
>stole yo empire Basileus
>become a decent empire by 1450
>export
>basically all the remaining Muslim world as Egypt
>Russia
>Bohemia starts with half of HRE
>all three get luck bonus
>mfw

>Prussia
>Pwn the entire world
>Play as another nation

>play as poland
>form the commonwealth
>go to war with Muscovy
>after a long and echausting war wich drained all my manpower i annec a fuckton of sweet terriotory
>pskov and stuff
>oh shit
>its 1600
>"Struggle for royal power" fires
>COuntry falls apart literaly everyone gets independence
>mfw

>why France is horrible
They ally Ottomemes in 8/10 games I play.

>Removing kebab all the way to China
Top Kek Neighbour!

Yeah,nly hope is for poland to ally tchem before the ottos do it.

>all those wants your provinces penalties

>implyinf that anyone cares at that level of power.

*crusads u*

>be austria
>free moneys, manpower because emprah
>hungary PU for free
>bohemia PU for free
>inherit burgandy
>PU over russia
>try to take one province from france
>rage quit

>play as tuscany in eu3 meiou mod
>takes me 200 years to form Italy
>prepare myself to invade greece
>get gangbanged by austria, france and spain, lose north italy and sicily.
JUST

Das pretty gay lol

>srbija do tokija
Topkek nice one

lmao

>stops being autistic burdens on the continent for around 20 years
>unite italy
>sort out germany
>puppet spaniard generates
>basically unites Europe for the first time since rome
>what now??
>fucking attack those suicidal degenerate russians, thats what
>niggers literally abandon their capital
>everything goes to shit
>fucking Napoleon...

25% of Frenchies work for the state.

Only 11% of Germans work for the state.

SAD!

>IT's an ottomans ally the french game
are the austrians that big of a deal? most of the holy roman empire fight itself what a shittybroken game

So like real life then?

Ha, interestingly enough, it is exactly the reason Why I Actually Left France.

>go to France on holiday
>camp at cute campsite by the atlantic ocean, beach closeby, very touristy
>water is cold as shit, my dick reverts into what looks like a dead newborn rat
>sleep in tent, cant sleep because of retarded french croissants singing in tent next to us
>wake up next morning; ants everywhere, probably still inside my ass even tho it was 3 years ago
>go to bar, ask if they have any outlets i can use to charge comp
>"stupid british go somewhere else to charge stupid tv"
>mfw im swedish
>4 days later, driving home
>stop at gas station, need to refuel le shitty 11 renault laguna diesel
>"where the fuck is the diesel" dad is pissed, mom starts crying thinking its her fault
>people staring like they have never seen a tantrum b4
>dieselfound.exe
>continue driving
>expensive af roadtaxes
>never visited France again
>fuck retarded croissantland

>uniting Italy as Venice
>war on Albania before Ottomans declare, delaying peace to keep T*rks in their war
>attacking Byzantium, split his territory to my vassals
>annex Albania
>wonder how mad are T*rks right now
>extending into Balkans
>fight countless wars with Ottomans, get pwned several times but pushing back
>finally utterly crushed the Ottomans, owning all of the Balkans
>meanwhile Shadow Kingdom hit, and I'm expanding into Northern Italy
>holy shit the coalitions batman
>holy shit Austria is in those coalition because he hates my guts cause of AE
>fight Austria time after time after time
>utterly crushing Austria several times, everytime the motherfucker recovers and ends up owning half of Europe with PUs and shit
>finally able to form Italy
>owning Venice, Genoa, Constantinopole, Alexandria and Crimea trade nodes
>convert to Protestant because all of the HRE is protestant
>become holy Roman Emperor
>at this point nothing can stop me, killing time till 1821

BEST. CAMPAIGN. EVER.

France is easy to manipulate into fighting wars for you even as Provence, however the Ottomemes make most of the kebab region fucking unplayable

>be British
>Have rebels 3 times bigger than the royal army rise up every 4 years
>Try to snatch up Irish provinces
>Have to wait for stupid boats to come transport your army all the way from the Northern Atlantic
>yfw France invades in the middle of all this with the entire population of Mordor, The Shire and all the elven Kingdoms combined.

>be me
>get tired of rage quiting EU4
>go play Victoria 2
>Release Hungary
>Rekt Austria with Germany
>Puppet Gypsiland and win countless wars against Russia
>Get revenge on EU4 Ottos by taking Bosnia
>8th power, a week away from becoming GP
>Spend many shekel on decent BB Fleet
>Germany Spheres me and the Serbs
>Forms Yugoslavia, taking away 50% of my territory including my coast
>Become the Bolivia of Europe

Gotta admit, stackwiping a 60k stack with a 30k prussian stack is pretty satisfying

When will Paradox unnerf Russia? Fucking russophobic shits, Russia sucks massive dicks from every neighbor for the last 5-10 patches.

How? Le Cannons?

>be any country
>start a new game
>day one no-CB DOW on serbia
>end up controlling venice trade node
never tried playing serbia

Le 130% discipline and 10 land morale and 20% infantry combat ability.

Which gets even more OP when you try to take as many military ideas as possible

>yfw EUV let's you play untill WWI and you can crush lesser nation as Daddy Otto

Indeed. They could stop buffing ottomans while they're at it

>Playing as ottomemes
>ever

I can relate to that, I played as dozens of nations but playing as Ottomans never struck my mind, fuck roaches.

Exactly. I find it highly more rewarding and satisfying starting as a small nation like serbia or byzantium and rise to power than to start as a powerful nation.

Rate mein reich.

>start as Austria
>inherit and integrate Hungary by 1520
>trash Ottomans over and over for more land, Byzantium ends up getting free by revolt, I ally with them, they force release Trebizond and eventually inherit them
>use my power to fuck up my rivals in HRE, win big imperial ban wars against Burgundy, France and Poland
>HRE formed in mid 17th century, shortly after Poland integrates Lithuania, immediately ally with them and start doing royal marriages using my retarded OP heir generation
>start colonizing in the new world, win some random colonial wars and take tons of land from Portugal while beating the shit out of France on the continent
>get personal union with the Commonwealth in the late 17th century, kick Scandinavia out of their Russian holdings
>use my basically unlimited money to pump up my allies, Byzantium, Papal States and Tver

Only a few years left lads, do I finish off France or focus on building my Asian colonial holdings up?

He meant Otto Von Bismarck
Not ottomans you mongol

I gave up on blobbing, it makes the game too easy, I try to stick to historical boundaries and rather make my vassals or allies powerful and wage wars through them, meanwhile developing my country.

I had a pretty great game as Britain desu

>start as England
>finish war of roses pretty early, disown Tudors because my their was a God
>ally Austria and castle, take Paris by 1500
Entire game is just me destroying France and colonizing
>PU Spain in the end
>integrate
>own all of the americas

It was a fucking fantastic game, iron man too
Ended up owning the Americas, all of Egypt/levant, Indochina, Australia, south Africa, franco-iberia, and alot of Indonesia

Also built Panama and Suez canals

fuck the Jewy dlcs, but this game is too fun

>play japan
>marry insult exploit the ming
>unite the island
>ming implode
>conquer korea
>curbstomp wuu too
>conquer Mexico with a 20 man stack
>60 ducats / month from Beijing node
>"change culture" of my Korean and chink lands (genocide)
>get bored because my aesthetic borders were achieved and quit in early 1600s
And that's how most of my eu4 games end

It's not a simulation game, it's fantasy based around the whims of a few cuck devs and their multiplayer games
Orthodoxy has been buffed to hell though, literally best Christians right now

Why not both?

>Play with extended timeline mod as somalia
>By the year 2030 half of Sweden has converted to Islam and Somali culture

It was okay in the early patches, Russia was a powerhouse from the east, for some cuck reason they decided to fuck it all up, creating a power vaccum with all kings of shit like nogai, bukhara, kazan, crimea and whatnot rising up now.

>tfw took forever to learn how to play vicky2
>tfw don't want to put the effort into learning to play any other paradox games

Am I not autistic enough, lads?

Territorial mechanics kind of reduce the power of blobs in general, even at tech level 30 I don't have enough states to incorporate all of my European holdings.

I also do vassal improvement. Tunis and Ndongo are marches of mine, while Khmer and Champa are my protectorates. I also have two colonial nations and recently allied Scotland, I think I want to try to get them to finish off England while I finish France.

France's manpower is op af

Yeah I remember back then they actually colonized Siberia and could pack a punch, when their disasters didn't fuck em up
Devs buffed Lithuanian swamps wway too much, and now Russia prefers just to make protectorates of turkic states and watch as Denmark keeps spb

How do you get such an insane amount of money?

i was worried when nobody else pointed that out gj serbia

>Post stories or greentexts about why France is horrible
>be genoa
>get delicious cb's on random lands everywhere
>be protected by big bro austria from nasty turks
>doing pretty well tbqh
>france your faithful ally gets CBs on all your european lands
>breaks alliance, declares war
>lose all european holdings
>kicked out of HRE
>ottomans declare war
JUST

Once you hit the second to last HRE reformation you get EVERY HRE nation as a vassal. They all pay vassal tax so you're making hundreds of ducats per month, then after you annex them in the last decision you have maxed out trade power in most of the biggest trade centers in Europe. I had over 200k at one point.

kek

Ty bro. But apart from all the vassals, is there a way of getting all that money with another nation as say Spain, Brandenburg or Byzantium?

I fucking hate learning and found EU4 and CK2 not too difficult to grasp.
The recent updates are fucking trash that punish you for being successful, play 2.4.5 CK2 and 1.15.1 EU4 for a better learning experience. And play 1.13.2 EU4 if you want to play Japan, the changes to alliances in Cossacks make it a pain in the cunt to unify Japan.

lel

you have to get to milwauke next
da bude srbija od tokija do milvokija

Bully weaker nations with no allies, extract war reparations, vassalize minors, build a navy with light ships (far more cost effective than big ones) and have it privateer or protect your trade power in your best maritime nodes.

This is what my income looks like. Lategame production generally > tax/trade but early in the game trade, for most countries, is better. Trade is better for smaller countries or maritime countries in general.

Game is easy af desu

AI doesn't know how to do warfare

Thank you very much bro

...

>CK2
>play as Croatia
>Rashka forms Serbia
>Marry my king to the Serbian kings eldest daughter
>game of thrones intensifies
>son inherits both Croatia and Serbia
>ayyrabs JUST the byzantines
>religious war to reclaim Greece
>the empire expands
>take Constantinopole and move the capital there
>form Latin Empire
>mongols arrive
>they come at me
>get rekt hard by the horde
>ragequit

Doesn't matter how many troops they have when they don't know how to win wars

...

At this point it feels like theyre changing shit just for the point of change, and so they can charge 25 bucks for a new DLC every 6 months.

>Muscovy attacked Poland first
well duh

Although you still get some 700+ hours into the game before you figure everything out, so still definitely worth the money

Around Swedes, your wallet bleeds.

>when you're a weeb before it was cool

Poland and Lithuania are not allied. I took care of that before this war.

Youre using the duplicating troups exploit, stfu please.

I'm not using any exploits. I use my allies as meat shields and trick the AI into only taking battles that are to my advantage.
Once you learn how the AI act in war its pretty easy to keep a war going forever even though you are far behind in troops.
Also 80% of my army was mercs iirc. Conquest of gold fuels the war machine. As long as you keep going you always have funds.

>CK2
>Play as Leon to learn the game
>Crusade, marry alliances, first 100 years,
>start eugenics, take huge prestige hits
>dont give a shit, imma CRUSADER
>genius or quick AND strong, kind, gregarious
>conquer all of middle east except morocco and persia
>feels deus vult

>start another game
>Imma expert nao
>Zoroastrian in tabriz
>get REKT everysingle time
>ragequit

holy shit you can export to EU4?

I was told this game had realistic genocide mechanics.
All I see is some bullshit way to change culture, which can't be done when the province has separatism.
Am I missing it?
I wanna kill 6 gorrillian.

>troop count at start 54k, battle of altmark 83.3k
>not duplicating troops
pick one

well Leon in that timestamp is easy mode because all the Muslims are broken up in small Duchies.

One of the dlc let's you do it. It's not ideal, no historical events, but hey you keep playing your game.

>holy shit you can export to EU4?
Its DLC.

But what else to expect from parajew.

a shitty dlc that doesn't work properly too.

Stellaris has actual genocide

That was from when Hungary was in the war, you can see them scattering at the bottom of the pic.