Caesar was the most alpha male to have ever lived

Caesar was the most alpha male to have ever lived.
>His name has been remembered by basically everyone for over 2 thousand years and has become literally synonymous with autocracy, power, and strength
>Fucked the senators wives, then later BTFO'd them all and made them declare him Dictator for life
>Fought on the front lines with his troops on multiple occasions
>Personally lead the cavalry charge that won the Battle of Alesia
>Won the Civic Crown as a young man for saving his cohort from annihilation
>Is aesthetic as fuck
>Rolls dice
Name a cooler dude.
Protip: You cant.

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>BTFO by Brutus

Fucking cuk

>stabbed in the back by a very close friend who was secretly extremely jealous and butthurt that you fucked his mother
>cuck

???

>Name a cooler dude.

(You)

Fair.

Aw you make me blush

sleeping with other men's wives isn't a positive point, that's a minus

participating in cuckoldry at any level is garbage

he only fought forest niggers, not something to be proud of

>His name has been remembered by basically everyone for over 2 thousand years and has become literally synonymous with autocracy, power, and strength

So, what was his name?

Took like 50 stabs to bring down to

if anyone cucked him it was cato

Quick rundown:

-Rothschilds bow to Caesar
-In contact with aliens
-Possess psychic-like abilities
-Control Rome with an iron but fair fist
-Own opidums & banks globally
-Direct descendants of the gods
-Own 99% of amphora facilities on Earth
-First designer babies will in all likelihood be Caesar babies
-Ancient Etruscan scriptures tell of an angel who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
-Own garum labs around the world
-You likely have Caesar water inside you right now
-Learned fluent greek in under a week
-A salad is named after him

Is the Caesarpill on a higher plane than the Bogpill?

Julius "scutum to the scrotum" Caesar

>Got cucked by Brutus and his senators.

Dropped.

Wrong

Spanking or not thread!!!!

Don't mind me I'm just busy being the best Caesar

Caesar "The Marblepilled" Augustus

*blushes* ouo

Were they not all into orgies and shit around that time? If he fucked a guy he ain't cool.

That was late Empire
This was late Republic, bout 300 year gap

He wouldn't have had anything if not for his stepfather though

So long as he still came from a patrician family he would probably have made it all the way to the consulship with or without his great uncle.

He didnt though
Octavian was Equestrian

>Name a cooler dude.
Stalin.

PIZZA PIZZA

that is right, comrade. now go to gulag.

I need a quick rundown on him

Fuck off pidorashka, Caesar is obviously way more cool.

the pony riding and bow shooting finnish guy

>now go to gulag.
to watch over enemies of the people?
with pleasure

Genghis Khan would like a world with you. The man slayed so much pussy, 5% of the world is directly related to him. On top of being the most bad ass frightening warlord in history.

wow пыня easy

take your pills and calm down

He was a lil bitch

There I blew him the fuck out, delete this thread

you got my point, comrade ^_^

>pinya
What does this mean

He's merely a puppet of the Bogs

omfg, now this unter-mem comes to 4ch...

He was Pompeii and Crasuss' bitch. Not alpha at all.

Baka!

>mfw when the Trump is literally the American Caesar
>mfw he transforms the American Republic in an American empire
>mfw Trump becomes the name who will be remembered for the next 2000 years and becomes synonymous with wealth, power and authocrazy

Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix.

Should of killed the pleb Julius when he had the chance.

Don't come to a patrician board and post pleb icons...

History is for cucks

can someone edit this so it looks like a Bogdanoff face?

23 stabs
Boris, is that you?

>>Won the Civic Crown as a young man for saving his cohort from annihilation
Hey dumbass: Honda cars weren't invented yet! Check your fucking facts, Mr. Fake News.

>Spoke fluent latin and greek by age 4
>Became head of his family at 16
>Became the youngest ever Pontifex Maximus of Rome (basically the Pope)
>Escaped Sulla who wanted him dead and served in the legions as an officer
>Won the civic crown (second highest military reward)
>Got captured by pirates who held him for ransom
>Got offended at how little they were asking for him and demanded they request more
>Ended up befriending the pirates, and joked about having them all crucified to which they all laughed
>They released him, he then marched on their town and crucified them all
>Became the youngest ever Consul
>Conquered Gaul, campaigned in Germany, discovered and immediately conquered Britain
>Cucked Senators tried to strip his family of patrician status and have him exiled so he marched his army on Rome and appointed himself Dictator
>Fought a civil war against pretty much everyone and won
>Put down a rebellion in Egypt and conquered Cleopatra's pussy
>Got stabbed about 40-50 times to death by Cucky Senators who caught him alone

Thats off the top of my head pretty sure i missed a bunch

Augustus was objectively better

Caesar was a fairly reasonable guy.

His war commentaries, be they propaganda or not, made him seem like a decent dude who was dealing with fucking forest niggers whould couldnt be arsed to be honest or keep a bargain.

t. Cato

holy shit it's voldemort

LEL

Fucked his step mother then killed her
Killed his mistress and her brother
Killed his wife of 2 children then went and fucked a 12 year old boy
Killed thousands of his own people out of paranoia
Wanted to kill the one man who saved Rome from collapse

GREAT ICON

>stabbed by "cucks"
>great

Daily reminder /best Cesar/ was Augustus. Without Augustus, Cesar will have been nothing but a footnote in history

PAX ROMANA BITCHES

>cesar
>without augustus cesar would have been nothing
>american education

Sup Forums in the morning is best Sup Forums as evidenced by this thread of history majors.

Holy shit I'm going to play Rome 2 Total War when I get home. So pumped.

Perhaps he meant Caesar's revolt would of been forgotten without Augustus to secure it? Which is entirely correct.

Gatta do something to charge our morning brains up before our jew lord professors try to infect it in the afternoon.

No one is debating that Augustus wouldnt have been possible without Caesar.

Stop being retarded, Australia.

Augustus, Marcus Aurelius, and Trajan are TOP tier.

The alpha cuck is alpha and good.

Who's bog, can you give me a quick rundown?

CAESAR WAR STRATEGY TIME

youtu.be/wlrNX3zxAk0
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youtu.be/ou5ecpHdWYI
youtu.be/QfLOaunQqxA
youtu.be/3b3HMoE_3qI

This shit is like porn, watch at own discretion

Jesus

>tfw lost 1500 rolling dice last night

kill me

>who is Mark Antony

Trajan, now thats a real Emperor

A loser.

Yeah man. Trajan was a real man of the people, and literally the only emperor that history struggles to say anything bad about.

debatedly the only 100% good emperor.

Dacian genocide BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

According to Augustus

youtu.be/7X9C55TkUP8

Antony wuz a gud boi he dindu nuffin

Augustus deitified Cesar. Making Cesar a God would inherently make Augustus' rule a decree by divine right

Lern 2 history, Jacky chan

Alexander the Great
His nephew Augustus

Both are much bigger badasses who even their rivals bowed to.

He had a bald spot tho

>was literally made a divine entity by later romans
>showed uncharacteristic mercy and virtue to his enemies after he defeated them
>had love and support of the roman mob

Brutus was a dick

...

He was a populist that the elites were terrified of, and did everything to put down, make a fool of, but his accomplishments just threw that shit back in their face.

Why do you think I voted for Trump?

>Mark
>Alexander

Fuckin' playing in the mud.

Also one of the best roman leaders.

And he was born in my owhispania! i know his place of birth has barely any relevance in the context of roman empire but...fuck that!Hispania!

>Sleeping other men's wives is not a positive point, that a minus

fuck outta with your fake moral meme, if bitch is not getting a good dicking from her man, she sure can get mine...

Also a military genius.

Cartago delende est.

He was born in the Empire!

That means he was Roman!

The whole story of Brutus betraying Caesar is so sad
Apparently Brutus was written in Caesars will as next of kin after Octavian, because he always thought of Brutus as a son.
I can only imagine what he was thinking when he saw Brutus run up and shove a knife in him.

Fuck yeah, Historia Civilis is amazing. Love his vids.

...

-Augustus- GOAT Roman Emperor.

-Tiberius- Meh. Said to be a pedophile who molested infants. May or may not be propaganda.

-Claudius: Decent

-Caligula: Demonized, but he probably was unstable, mostly due to seeing most of his family being murdered when he was just a kid.

-Nero: Demonized, mostly through Christian propaganda. He was just a young guy who probably wanted to have fun in his life instead of taking responsibilities of an emperor.

It is sad desu

>pic related, Brutus haunted by the ghost of Caesar.

>Nero

Everytime I talk about how he might not have actually been a bad guy, I get eye rolls.

I fucking hate not being able to talk about this stuff with normies.

Caligula was totally fucking insane brah
He led a massive military campaign to Britain to collect sea shells, then held a triumph and executed anyone who didnt applaud his sea shells KEK

I remember one story, can't remember the battle name, but the Romans got ambushed when setting up camp, and the lines were about to break, Julius jumped off his horse, grabbed a shield, and move to the front lines, demanding them hold position, and fought, thus raising his troops morale in a hopeless situation, and pushed back the Gauls.

Growing my parents told me Nero was "one of the antichrists" and was lucifer incarnate.
Fucking bullshit.

Plus Nero is cute. CUTE!

>no mention of Hadrian
>no mention of Trajan

Dacia BTFO

Bullshit! Gengish Khan might be a fearless warlod, but the fucker was fat out of shape dude. Unless they have got wrong all of his statue

Yeah man, battle of the sabis
Its the first vid here i think

Nero wasn't even in Rome when it was burning . But he still got the blame.

Andrew Jackson

>Caesar was the most alpha male

Wrong.