Why doesn't America use bidet-style toilets?

Let's be honest, at this point having to touch and wipe your poo is totally Pajeet poverty-tier.

Why haven't we transitioned to modern aesthetic and clean toilets yet, fellow burgers?

>having to touch and wipe your poo

How the fuck are you wiping?

With toilet paper, how are you?

>jet of water into your asshole (gay)
>you still have to wipe afterwards
>fuck the metric system

Wouldn't your pants have a wet spot in the back? What if it misses your asshole?

because americans are extremely insecure about their sexuality

you can't look at or touch another man unless you're shaking their hand or punching them in the face without being called a faggot

The toilet paper industry is in bed with our politicians. Ask yourself why no environmental activists have ever proposed a toilet paper alternative.

gotta stand with your ass under a hand dryer I recon

You're wiping clean water away, not poo
What, are you pulling your pants up to get hit by the water jet or something? You can easily wipe water away, and it's clean and not full of poo.

We just don't want to get literally assblasted by a French assblaster

> jet of water into your asshole (gay)
> being this childish
Literally there is nothing at all wrong or gross about it, as opposed to touching literal feces.
LOL I can't tell if this is a shitpost or not but it would be hilarious and about the funniest conspiracy imaginable if true.
> I recon
Are you spying on people in their bathrooms?

What the fuck

>Why doesn't America use bidet-style toilets?
Probably because we don't want a toilet full of water near an electrical outlet to power the stupid thing.

You are supposed to wake up, drink your coffee, take your once daily morning shit then immediately shower. Unlike most countries, Americans shower.

Wouldn't the shit particles get onto the nozzle and be blasted into other people's butts? You probably have shit on your ass from everyone you live with.

My asshole has been really itchy the past month or so it sucks. Sometimes when I scratch it there's a bunch of dead skin that flakes off. I'd give it a shot.

>as opposed to touching literal feces

Once again I really don't understand how you're using toilet paper such that it's necessary for you to touch feces.

The positive pressure of even a few mL of water would flush the nozzle every time. In any case, it's much more hygienic than touching the same door handle as someone who just had his hands in his ass.

first of all, don't scratch your asshole. that's fucking disgusting.

second, get athletes foot powder. you probably carried it to your asshole from your feet because you put your underwear on before your socks. desenex is a good powder. put it on your feet after you shower, and put some in your asscrack. it will clear it up in a few days.

hope this helps, user

Even if you don't directly touch it the paper you're touching definitely does allowing for the transmission of feces and bacteria, not to mention that your hand will likely catch some of the fecal smell.

>taking a simple reliable machine machine and adding a point of failure.

i personally use baby bottom wipes that have a bit of wetness to them.

pinky finger swirl to make sure i get all of it the second round

I lived in Nipland for a while and let me tell you bidets are the shit. My asshole was always clean and never irritated and now that I'm back to using dry paper I'm constantly getting mudbutt/hemorrhoids.

How can I get a bidet in America when I live in an apartment?

>point of failure
>literally a fancy water spout

Also

>toilet
>machine

>shit falls on bidet faucet
>your shit hydrolically injected into the next 20+ people who use bidet

Doesn't seem hygenic

nigga just wet a piece of toilet paper wipe your ass then wipe with a dry piece

That's why you wash your hands afterwards.

Having water sprayed on your ass is a little too homoerotic for American men. We're very homophobic. Most of us have never even hugged out father. Men hugging is too gay. Fuck gay shit.

Why would you shit on the faucet? It's withdrawn until you're ready to clean...

im guessing you wipe first like a normal human, then use the bidet, then dry with additional wiping, right?

that seems ok

not wiping first seems like a good way to splatter shit all over your balls and ass

Japan has these types of toilets and they're perfectly reliable, work fine, and don't regularly break down or anything, what are you talking about?

It's not like the bidet component is horribly complicated or anything, it isn't even integrated into the machinery of the toilet meant simply to flush, it's just an additional technical component. Plus by that logic we should never add mechanical complexity to anything, since it's more points of failure, even though obviously it can be worth it if the components are well designed and done for a purpose such as convenience, not many cars have manual windows anymore, even though automatic ones are more complicated and likelier to fail.

Wash your hands you degenerate

This is why you wash your hands before you leave the bathroom, you unhygienic savage you.

I have an untested idea

what if you aim your penis at your butthole and make a peedet

It's good for spraying poop into women's vaginas, other than that I can't think of any flaws.

They don't make them american sized.

>you wash your hands
>go to open the door
>can't open door without touching the door handle non-washers used

Seems like the best method is to just not stick our hands in our assholes. Wiping away shit from your ass is the civilized equivalent of open defecation.

Bidets are civilized and excellent. Yes, you wipe first, then clean with the bidet, then dry off.

Pity you've left it all to Italians and Greeks to outclass you.

I use them at home and have a portable japanese one for travel.

>Japan has these types of toilets and they're perfectly reliable, work fine, and don't regularly break down or anything, what are you talking about?

Yeah, but Americans will intentionally destroy shit just because we can.

Well don't use it like an absolute retard, keep it retracted until you need it, and run water if anything gets stuck to keep it clean, problem solved.
Yeah but I mean you wouldn't even need to dirty your hands or expose them in the first place, it might even just negate the need for hand washing entirely if your hands just stay clean.

He shuts the door when he shits
thats cute man

How else do you get out?

See It cuts out unnecessary middleman, and doesn't stop you from washing your hands if you'd want.
Not my fault the retard peasant class isn't capable of having nice things, that shouldn't stop the civilized and patricians among us from having them.

>Having water sprayed on your ass is a little too homoerotic for American men

But manually fingering your asshole is not faggy? i guess it's nice to have that faint smell of shit and men musk on your fingers when you're jerking it to remind you of anal penetration.

Always leave the door open, assert your dominance.

I have one, bought off Amazon

I'm here from Germany and I got to say wiping is so much better. playing with the shit that gets stuck in mein butt hairs is so exhilarating

>Cold stream of water hits your anus
>Spaz out, water everywhere
>Shit water dripping down your legs all over your shoes and underwear.

Yeah, no thanks.

lmfao 10/10 laughed a little bit

I'd give it a shot too.

I have had an annoying abrasion on the lining of my asshole for the past couple of months. Sitting for extended periods of time makes it too uncomfortable to continue sitting, as it feels like my asshole is being bludgeoned by a pair of knives. Worst of all, toilet paper wiping prevents it from fully healing, no matter how soft the toilet paper is.

At this point I'm about ready to kill myself, it's literally destroying my asshole and my life

I tried, but all the CIS women kept looking at me like I didn't belong there.

>At this point I'm about ready to kill myself, it's literally destroying my asshole and my life

You shouldn't have bought a playstation then.

They're incredibly unsanitary.

I've had one for about 2 years. Best $35 I ever spent.
You guys can keep smearing crap on yourselves, I'll just powerwash it off

> Cold stream of water hits your anus
You do know that a lot of the more modern designs, especially in Japan, have heated water specifically to be as comfortable as possible?

>Spaz out, water everywhere
>Shit water dripping down your legs all over your shoes and underwear.
Not my fault you're a fucking spastic retard who can't react normally to stimuli or behave like a civilized adult, it shouldn't stop people who can from having access to it.

What keeps it sanitary? Surely that nozzle is getting a splashback of poop water on it, right?

Buy a bidet attachment on amazon, that's what I did. Chicks fucking love them too.

>You're wiping clean water away, not poo
you've never had the shits, where it sprays all over the area in the OP pic related?

Kek Slovakia

Not having shit caked between your ass cheeks is unAmerican.

Ah damnit I dont know why but I'm laughing like a retard

I got a bidet probably 8 months ago and I swear my asshole has not been cleaner. I thought it was gay at first but then I started to enjoy it. It's a refreshing steam of clean water right onto your dirty asshole. Sometimes after i get the stream, i'll scoot back further onto the toliet and let the stream gently caress my balls. The overwhelming pleasure usually makes me cum within three minutes. After i blow my load, i turn around and spray the water jet directly onto my dickhole, and let the cooling steam of water wash the cum off of my dick. Best purchase ever.

I don't understand. Is the water warm? Can you get rose scented water?

Those toilets are fucking disgusting.

I had to use some when I stopped by in Istanbul, the feeling of water splashing my balls felt so awkward.

I don't think I would ever let someone use a water gun on my anus and then the splash going behind my testicle ball nutsacks. Having to wipe behind my testis because of a water gun, it's more idiot than simply wiping my crap with a toilet paper.

You can get one with an electric heater that warms the water. I had a hot water line run to my master bathroom toilet so that the water is warm when I flush. It's GOAT during the winter.

>build the wall

My mum got a bidet installed on her toilet for my dad while he had cancer to make things a bit easier.

Never tried it, the thought of it seems pretty annoying 2bh, like splashback but 100x more powerful and then you gotta wipe anyway.

Also wet wipes are fucking shit, makes your asshole feel all wet as if you need to wipe.

Sounds like you need some monkey butt son.

The bidet sprays water and isn't active all the time, it retracts to stay clean as has been mentioned repeatedly in the thread.

Not to mention it can be designed further to spray around and clean the toilet automatically occasionally.

Yeah let me just get this jetstream of water to blast my anus hole right after some AIDS patient shat on it.

The same reason we're still using Imperial measurements and keep circumcising babies. Blind adherence to the way our parents did things.

I dont like the idea of cold water hitting my ass hole, it would make me feel violated.

Also which hand do you anons use to wipe your ass with? Left or Right?

I wanna avoid Vietnam back splash.

Yeah it's not like AIDS patients are pretty rare and concentrated in certain areas where you'd generally know about them and the toilet's not only been flushed beforehand and the bidet's also sprayed in order to clean itself off. Totally valid hypothetical scenario you got there, user.

Americans attract mates with the smell of mud pussy.

Nips have those because of their short hands. Gain a little bit of fat and there you go, cant even wipe

It's not like the water just magically makes the shit disappear. How does this not splatter the shit all over your ass?

My right obviously. I'm not a fucking animal.

Both

at the same time

washlet's water is warm water tho.

It's a power jet stream user, think of it like a high pressure cleaner but for your asshole.

Every time I take a shit now I wish I had a bidet. I just want a clean asshole without having to go through half a roll of tp.

I usually use toilet paper, not my hands because then I would have shit on my hands.

True, it would be a massive blow to one of our oldest and most cherished cultural traditional practices here in Burgerland.

If it doesn't cover the entire lower half of your body, then this definitely splatters shit whereever it stops.

I use flushable wet-ones. Far superior to getting cold water splashed on my anus.

To be honest though, I'm surprised that bidets haven't become more common here considering how many land-whales and ham-planets struggle to wipe their own asses. Maybe bidet manufacturers need to start looking into making models with reinforced XXXXXXXL seats.

How do you keep your asshole and balls dry when that shit is spraying? You're wiping something at that point regardless.

Well yer and it reuses the poo water that you took a shit in.

So there's that.

wtf??

This. I whipe till the toiletpaper is only red

>cold water

this shit again.

Fuck, that can get messy. Don't you still have to wipe off after getting firehosed on your asshole and balls?

Just imagine you fell face-first into a big piece of shit. Would you wash your face with water or would you be content with just smearing it off with some paper and call it a day?

Why can't you get toilet threads like this anywhere else on the site?

Dont they have some kind of stick for it?

I want a water shined shitter too OP.

striking paper is 3rd world tier. British even.

They are kind of gross, in my opinion.

I just shower after every time I have to sit on the toilet.

Neither!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck clean all that shit with sanitary wipes. WTF is wrong with all of you. Jesus Christ. Fucking cavemen.

Neither, I'd use paper rolls and bleach or something.

Do you think water makes everything automatically clean user?