I converted to Judaism. Ask me anything, goys

I converted to Judaism. Ask me anything, goys.

Whats the name of the Abraham god

Nice pic Wednesday. Yud Hey Vav Hey.

Was it painful getting your cock chopped off?

I don't have a cock. I have seen a mohel do it to a babby and he cried a little. Maybe it was the penis sucking though,

>He actually worships Baal off the tetragrammaton
>Jehovah is Jahbulon
>Signed his soul into Lucifer-doctrine

Surely you must have known.

Are you female?

tits or gtfo

I didn't hear about that.

Yup.
Nope.

Ha that's not true, because the jews don't actually allow you to convert unless you can prove that your mom was a jew.

The weed was pretty good tonight huh?

Are you planning on reproducing, and if so, if you have a son, will you chop part of his dick off?

>Converted
Filthy reformist. You still won't be allowed a burial in a Jewish graveyard.

Do u use soap?

What I said is true, goyim ;)
Go ahead and have fun LARPing on /pol as a jew, but everyone with a basic understanding of judaism can tell that this is fake :D

Moon rocks

Why did you do that?

How does it feels knowing that during the day of the rope you gots to go now?

Do you want a fan oven, or regular?

Do converts get to benefit from jewish nepotism? Something tell me no, but I figured I'd ask anyway.

No plans for kids now. I would not subject them to circumcision in any case. It would be their choice.

LARPERS PLEASE LEAVE

I'm tired of these shitty ass threads shitting up this board. If you're in here and you can to Sup Forums from Reddit in the last year, you have ruined this board with constant shy like this. Fuck all of you

Should I move to Oz Zion to help in the building or continue Red Boots.

Doesn't converting to Judaism take a year or two to do? You end up with more Jew knowledge than 95% of Jews by the end.

They'll never accept you as one of their own user. Get out while you can.

What kind of fucking Joo would refuse our covenant with God?

Reform "conversions" are not conversions it's like people saying they are gender fluid.

They are not.

You children will never learn.
Animals at best.

The kind that's gentile and thinks going to a reform temple filled with mostly other non-Jews somehow makes them Jewish

You guessed right, Reform. I don't care about Orthodox graveyards.
Wat.
Nice try.
Because I believe in God but not Jesus.
Bring it nigga.
Not even close to the worse thing I've heard.
The nepotism is mostly a myth, except in Orthodox circles. Usually converts are treated as lower status even though it is not supposed to be that way. I keep quiet about it.

Yeah, in my case years because I was moving between communities. You do know more and are often more observant but still not really accepted totally.

They are accepted by most Jews by far.

how old are you and why would you feel compelled to join? it's literally a religion about studying ridiculous old religious texts all day.

>hurrr what kind of Jew would refuse the sacred act of sacrificing animals and stoning adulterers to death in public?

This is the Orthodox battle cry, I'll let you guys figure out which logical fallacy it is.

Do the other Jews now treat you like one of their own? Or is there still a sense of alienation from them?

I've been seeing a Jewish girl (she's conservative Jewish) and she asked if I would move to Israel with her. A lot of her family lives there and her family is religious (they keep kosher, go to a synagogue, etc.).

I'm a Christian right now, but currently don't go to church. I've read some Jewish stuff and a lot of it seems to make sense. I'm worried that if I convert, I'll be seen as lower status in the Jewish community, even if this girl accepts me. We've been very close friends for a few years now and she's been flirting a lot with me and also just got out of a bad relationship.

I wasn't thinking about becoming Reform since it seems a little liberal, but perhaps Conservative? Do you get viewed differently and what do Orthodox people think of it? I've heard in some circles that Orthodox Jews don't welcome converts, but I've heard the opposite in others and so long as you're committed they don't mind.

20s. I originally did it for strictly religious reasons. I half regret doing it. I don't study old texts like the Talmud or anything. I have a couple of books that I read once in a while.

Do you feel more subversive now?

There's nothing wrong with circumcision

No, they are not, they are only accepted by American reform Jews. conservative and Orthodox Jews reject them as do traditionalists and Jews outside of America like in Israel

Not Jewish.

Why Judaism?
You can go to your local Church, Mosque or Chinese Temple and poof you are now one of them. Judaism takes fucking work

Sort of. Usually young people are the best. They just don't care or their own mom converted. There are plenty of bitches that will put you down. Old people always gossip about who converted. And rabbis always want to talk to you about it, even though they are not supposed to remind converts of their status. So it ends up being a reminder and in that way it makes you feel different and not legit.

Cuck faggot, you're still a goy wether you like it or not, they'll never accept you.

Her "Judaism" didn't require work, reform "conversions" are a joke and rejected by the overwhelming majority of Jews worldwide.

Only assimilated Jews in America consider them Jewish

Can you use your newly acquired jewish superpowers to push the comies out of our country?
The jews we have in Spain already called them anti-semitic, so I don't know what you are waiting for.

im cut, am i jewish? or am i pathetic goy? will the jews let me in on their shekels?

Israel is cool as shit but Israelis are really tense and they expect you to speak Hebrew. Non Orthodox conversions are not currently accepted officially in Israel but most people accept them personally. You will be 100% Jewish even with a Reform conversion. Even a Reform rabbis make their converts go into the mikvah nowadays. It is just that Orthodox rabbis are a pain about it and cry illegitimate.

Orthodox Jews welcome converts who go through the proper procedure and they are considered 100% Jewish.

Said procedure takes anywhere between 1 1/2 to 5 years depending on the country and hundreds of hours of classes and studying and showing real commitment however

Oh yeah only a literal violation of human rights that would be actively prosecuted if not for the crowd that shouts "literally Hitler" at any challenge, no matter how remote, to the practice.

Nope.
Conservative Americans accept them now and most Israelis do. Go drink some more Chabad wine and suck the Rebbe's penis.

Do you pound all the Jewish bitches?

Conservative Jews also don't consider you Jewish and it's absolutely false Israelis don't consider you Jewish in any way whatsoever

Reform "conversions" are only accepted by other reform Jews

How far would you assimilate into a schul without a formal conversion? Say you studied Torah, Talmud, Tanakh, etc. on your own, forwent the mikveh, and showed up to Temple on shabbat. How long could you masquerade as a Jew before you got figured out?

DId you cut your dick?

Good question. I am not going to worship a dead man. If I knew what this would all be I wouldn't have bothered.

Lol keep telling yourself that

You said you half regret it, you got nothing to regret since you did nothing so go out eat some pork and basically just keep doing what you already do

You can repeat this at your circle jerk later.
I would say that there is no need to pretend. There is not pressure to convert but some people might ask if you will or even invite you to. Don't even need to study. There are plenty of non Jewish guys who come just to be with their Jewish wives.

Orthodox synagogue, you would be found out within seconds because you cannot learn from books and you can't fake it

Reform, they might make you rabbi on the spot, especially if you start ranting against republicans or about lgbtqaa+¥

I mean I'd be willing to do that. I've engaged in degenerate behavior (partying, sex, drugs, etc.), but on the macro view I feel very socially conservative and once I get out of my youth (in college), I don't see the appeal of belonging to anything else.

If I do that though, how should i explain it to family?

Now I understand, you're making up for your own insecurity by pretending to be ultra conservative.

how much do you hate palestinians on a scale of 0 to 10

There's nothing wrong with expecting people to speak Hebrew. I know a bit of slang thanks to her and she taught me a lot back in high school that I've now forgotten.

I mean, I'm not like a full on Haredi or anything, but not gonna lie I've heard you can do a Reform conversion in like six hours. No offense, but if you don't get circumcised, don't eat kosher, etc. etc. and you're a convert, you kinda deserve not to be accepted.

Just make sure you are only doing it for yourself.

>convert to Judaism
>ignore the biggest tradition of Judaism
>the tradition that literally symbolizes the fact that der Juden are God's chosen people

You're like white homemakers who claim to be buddhists

>pretending to be ultraconservative

I'm a gentile currently, but I understand why people hate Reform for exactly the reason you're being right now. Judaism is supposed to exclusive, it's a religion that is based on study. If you're not willing to do that, then don't convert. I wouldn't convert if I didn't commit to the full tenets of Judaism and for you to parade around here must be very insulting to

0
No true Scotsman. And I kept kosher and Shabbat for years.

Which one?

I've been philosemitic since my time in high school. I had a lot of Jews there and go to learn a lot about Jewish culture. I live on the border of a Jewish community in New York now and actually visited Israel last summer.

do you believe that palestinians should have the right to return to their ancestral homes and that the occupation of the west bank should end

"No true Scotsman"

There's a difference between using this against people for obvious ideological reasons and then using it to clearly redefine specific terms and religions.

As a Christian, I would say that someone who doesn't believe in the divinity of Christ is not a Christian. As a Jew, I don't blame for saying what he is saying.

Cool. Everyone is Jewish in New York. Have you been to a Shabbat dinner?

Well to be honest a real conversion doesn't usually begin with "well once I'm done partying and getting that stuff out of my system I'll give it a go". It's from the deepest part of your soul saying "I need to come home".

You have to realize that the only way for you to truly be Jewish is an orthodox conversion and that this is something that will require your life to change from A to Z. There's no cheat days, it's things you have to do day in and day out for the rest of your life whether you feel like it or not

That's part of the reason why the process takes so long and to avoid people who'd jump in then "half regret it" a couple of years down the road while breaking all of Jewish law and not observing any

>"occupation of the West Bank"
*Judea and Samaria

There's no occupation, it was Jewish land and it will be Jewish land.

>"Ancestral homes"
should they also have a right to return to Iberia?

>circumcision is unique to Jews
But that's wrong, you fucking putz.

No.
A bunch of Jews got together and decided that Reform is legitimate, that makes it legitimate. That said I am not really advocating for Reform Judaism.

You don't know shit about my involvement with Orthodoxy.

Exactly. It's ridiculous to say you reject the biggest parts of a religion you claim to have embraced but still want to be counted as a member, especially when the REAL entrance to that religion for those not born into it requires so much dedication and effort from others while all you did was take a couple of classes and call yourself if

>I claim to not hate palestinians but I think that they should continue to get fucked over for eternity and be denied the right to live in historical palestine while literal converts move into settlements on the basis of religion
wew

Did you have to get your cock mutilated?

Nice fallacy there. One of your friends? Shit you Chabad guys almost have this Internet thing down.

1. What did you believe in before you converted?

2. Why did you convert?

Lol no that's not how it works. G-d said that it had to be done a certain way at Sinai more than 3,300 years ago, and just because a bunch of assimilated German Jews went "nah" doesn't grant their movement any validity whatsoever.

I'm not moving there.
No cock to be mutilated.

I believed in one God. I was raised a Catholic but did not believe it.

Who is this G-d nigga?

You don't need to be Chabad to know a non-Jewish woman who says she doesn't want to give a Brit Milah to her children is not Jewish, that's literally what all Orthodox, Traditionalists, Conservative, Sefaradi and Israeli Jews will say

Not literally. I love how I have got you worked up though. Someone on the Internet is wrong!

>that's literally what all Orthodox, Traditionalists, Conservative, Sefaradi and Israeli Jews will say
Are you saying reform Jews aren't real Jews?
Also, are you aware that Theodore Herzl didn't have his son circumcised? Some Israelis are rejecting the practice as well.

What convinced you that Judaism is the true religion? It also worships 1 god correct? The same god in all 3 abrahamic religions.

>2000 years ago
>irrendentism being an acceptable argument post world war 2

what's a jewish woman doing posting on a notorious neo-nazi infested board anyways
what's your angle?

Jewish nationalism (Zionism) and religious Judaism aren't the same thing.

A lot of Zionist leaders were atheist ethnic Jews. Just because you're a Zionist doesn't mean you're an authority on religious Judaism. Similarly, authorities on religious Judaism, like those Orthodox Jews against Zionism, aren't authorities on Zionism.

Good questions. I believe that a Christianity is not monotheism. I am not going to be a Muslim. I do not believe that Judaism is a universal religion. It is just what worked for me. I still respect Christians and Muslims in their way of finding God.

How does it feel being a complete fucking faggot?
Do you enjoy stoves?

Again, I'm not Jewish (yet), but seriously get your kids circumcised. You don't get to go to a religion and dictate to its members how to act.

And there are "Christians" who believe in Unitarian Universalism. There are also "Christians" who engaged in the slave trade.

What's your point?

>fag and oven comments
please.jpg

Are you of true Jewish blood or just a LARP used by rabbis to get a little extra shekels? If so, what is your descent?

>Christianity is not monotheism

Bullshit

>"It's just what worked for me"
How do you know it worked if you're still pretty much a fake Jew. You're pretty much a meme Christian that goes to temple on Saturdays, which for all intents and purposes is just a Marxist re-education center, and you don't eat pork and meat/cheese together.

Not worked up at all, you got major gotis going on and it's pretty sad

Considering 97% of Israeli Jews say they'll do a circumcision I don't think you're quite right here


Reform converts are not Jews. Anyone born from a Jewish mother according to Halacha is Jewish, whether they are reform or orthodox or anything else.

Except if they are Giants fans.