I heard if I convert to Mormonism I'll get a qt gf. Is this true?

I heard if I convert to Mormonism I'll get a qt gf. Is this true?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=RD7vKmglHMc
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>Jewish tales episode IV: Jesus in space

She'll be cute, but she'll also be controlling and batshit insane. And she'll make you have a ton of kids, thereby depriving you of sleep for the rest of your life. Plus, you'll have to put up that fake smiley faced bullshit in church every Sunday. And you WILL be there at 8am on the dot without fail.

>not wanting to breed with an attractive aryan blonde mormon woman


just how gay are you?

>not wanting to breed with a batshit insane controlling woman and her even more batshit insane family and church that will control you like the robot you will be

It's like you hate freedom.

>tfw I'm in so deep that your scenario actually seems tolerable if it means I get a gf

No woman is worth giving up your freedom if it means she's gonna act like that.

Are you a kissless virgin? Because choosing a religion just to get a gf is about as crazy as anything a woman can do. Tell us more, ausfailian.

Yes.You'll also make huge amounts of money. Mormons are the next generation's Jews. They are dominating business.

Also they have really high birth rates.

No, if you want a GF work for one, Mormonism would increase the odds, but only if you truly believed in it.

>Are you a kissless virgin?
Yes. Also over 30

Are there Mormons in Emuland? I figured it was an American only thing.

Rather than choosing a religion, why not choose to move to a new city? A change of location oftentimes helps.

If you're a kissless virgin that's 30+, what do you do for a living? What's your social life like?

They are all over trying to convert people.

yesh,
see
they have designated churches called "singles wards" where the whole point is to get a qt asap
beware though there is alot of bs involved with tithe payment, abstinence till marriage and no drugs, coffee, tea,
you are expected to be at least somewhat successful with money since your qt will be pregnant the whole time,
you can try your luck with a "daddy issues" crazy qt for quick fuck but you will get bad rep with the church

>they have designated churches called "singles wards" where the whole point is to get a qt asap
Sold

True. But user here is 30 now, so he'll go to the older singles wards, not the younger ones. That's a bad thing, not a good thing. Have you seen the older single women in a Mormon church?

If you're really that hard up user, go to Las Vegas. Their single Mormon girls are cute, extremely horny and easy, and that's probably the most lax part of moronism.

> being prisoner of a qt who wants me to shoot my cummies into her fertile womb

this is my fetish tho

It's a shit deal. All the good stock gets married during college to ex-missionaries.

You'll get stuck with the fat cat ladies and the mentally ill in singles ward.

>controlling

No, not in my experience, although you're expected to be a good member, otherwise they'll think something is wrong with you. That's probably controlling to some.

this, sorry OP
most valuable qts dont make it past 25

If I make a donation will they give me one with the specs I want? Early 20s, brunette, C cup breasts

Use your wizard powers to kill the traitors in parliament.

But there are widows, right? I would keep my distance but find subtle ways of letting her know that I care. Sometimes women need a man around the house and I could be that man. Eventually one night we would lose ourselves and drink coffee and sit beside each other, I would lean over to smell her hair (she uses Mane & Tail and is a little embarrassed by this) and tell her that I will always love her.

In my experience, mormon women are really batshit insane, and mormon culture reinforces it. It's multiple kinds of bad UNLESS she's a convert and not born into it. They tend to be the most sane of all mormons.

Go to the Vegas wards. Plenty between 25-30 and fucking hot.

Few, if any. Mostly divorcees.

Nah, it doesn't work like that unless you go to one of the fucked up fundamentalist colonies. But _those_ girls are by no means qt. Pic related.

If you want a qt from the main sect you'll have to get lucky.

Do you really want to raise some guy's 5+ kids? That's like maximum cucked.

I'm fine with someone younger

No, but you get a one way ticket to visit a lake of fire for following your heretic denomination.

>my experience, mormon women are really batshit insane

Probably depends highly upon the location. Now RLDS girls are fucking nuts hands down.

most common are divorcees who got a childless bum deal or married shitty converts,
OP may find luck with an exotic foreign convert qt depending on where he lives ei "vietnamese ward" "hispanic ward"

mormons dont believe in hell
its complicated

There's a base level of batshit insane among them, but it does vary from location to location. I've been told by plenty of mormons that the least insane ones are the converts, because they came from the real world. That's why I was saying that OP should go to Vegas to find a mormon chick, as that's closest to normal that you'll find among them.

Everyone RLDS is batshit insane, making regular mormons look well-adjusted and normal.

It does not matter if your false denomination believes in hell or not. The fire will burn just as hot.

Here if Australia if you convert you get 10 thousand hideous fobs and 0 whites

Weebs have a special place in hell, the lowest level. You'll be Satans personal fuck boy.

Generally speaking yes, until they get married and have kids.

dont tell them that

they probably get excited thinking about getting their boipucci fukt by satan-kun

Fixed

there is a guy named moron in the book btw so it still makes sense
they pronounce it MORUN tho

At least your god makes you prostrate yourself to pray. Makes swinging the blade down alot easier.

Mormons are fucking ugly dude. They all have a weird bug-eyed "mormon look"

I was stopped by two Missionaries from the RLDS a couple of months ago. One was a solid 9/10.

I don't have a god, degenerate weeb.

It's inbreeding, isn't it?

shit is so cash, you can almost smell their untainted pure virgin essence

so have they convinced you?

I didn't realize that RLDS was out of the states much. I've never seen missionaries for them here, even. Only the occasional Mormon or Jehovah's Witness

There's enough mormons that they inbreeding shouldn't be an issue, unless you are talking about the fundies. They are definitely inbred.

I gotta admit, their female missionaries are fucking hot as hell. They do a good job using them to draw people in. Even the mormons realize that sex sells.

Where do I sign?

I'm in Manitoba and I have a Mormon church within walking distance

I went to a mormon dance once. Almost ended up married. The girls are hot though.

No, they seemed a little nuts and a bit too happy.
They were trying to convince me that their intention was not to convert or convince me, but to have a dialogue. I was on my way to the gym at the end of the day, so I wasn't in a rush and decided to have a little debate. Brought some common arguments against the existence of God, such as, why is their God any more likely to be true than the hundreds of others. Their response was "because I know in my heart", "God speaks to me", etc.

Since they asked so nicely, I decided to invite them over to my house for a chat, but later decided against it. Frankly don't have the time and don't want to be wasting theirs. Anyway, my wife would think it's weird as fuck.

Yes. Also, the church rarely mentions the individual relationship of one to Jesus, the sermon is usually just the big happy family meme aimed at ensuring the women have lots of babies as insurance in a world where the youth are getting increasingly apathetic toward religion and morality.

Dated a Mormon for a year. Went to her church. Rarely heard reference to the New testament of I did at all. That church will never refer to Matthew 10:21-23, the based /r9k/ tier testaments of which the new testament has many

>21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and [s]cause them to be put to death. 22 You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved.

>23 “But whenever they persecute you in [t]one city, flee to [u]the next; for truly I say to you, you will not finish going through the cities of Israel until the Son of Man comes.

so whats stopping you from going to the cdb and picking up one of hundreds of cuties

There are 3 RLDS churches in my city alone and I'm in the North-West. The church they were at is around 10 minutes from where I live. My understanding is that they have a massive international presence.

LDS churches aren't as uncommon I'm not surprised you have them in Canada. I actually knew a couple people who moved there. RLDS are rarer afaik. They did build this odd thing though. I've driven past it before.

I bet most of them take it in the pooper and mouth often before marriage.

Are you sure they're ReformedLDS and not LDS? RLDS call themselves "Community of Christ" these days. LDS on the other hand is "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". Say that ten times fast. I could tell you by looking at them.

You'd be surprised. Prepare to be completely blue-balled.

>frenchy not realizing mormonism is the american version of islam

Yeah. Their sermons make Catholic and Protestant sermons look legit and full of learning. Last I was in a mormon church, people gave me death stares, cuz I have long hair.

I did go to their singles wards in Vegas. That was tolerable. It was almost like being in an alcohol free bar to hit on women.

only if your making buku bucks as an engineer or some kind of CEO or industrial stock broker or something. they want your money much like the women want your money, they want you for your position in life, not so much that they want you for who you are or your views on things, unlike us here on Sup Forums.

...

Can I get a 'The Book of the Moron' edition?

Apologies, they were the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints".
>I did go to their singles wards in Vegas. That was tolerable. It was almost like being in an alcohol free bar to hit on women.
That sounds like it'd be good for a laugh.

it depends on location, here in texas its mostly new testament to keep up with southern baptists
for edgy passages like that they would rather mention higher ups sfw explanation rather than the passage itself

> coffee
> mormon

No booze either

So they really are just white muslims.

I live in Salt Lake City, and I can promise you that most Mormon girls, especially 18-24 year olds are closet freaks.

My first girlfriend was a Mormon and she let me fuck her after a month, put it in her butt and go ass to mouth after three. She would jerk/suck me off on the bus to wrestling meets.

tldr; Mormon girls are ladies in the streets but freaks in the sheets.

Had my mormon friend stayed around a bit more that night, I definitely would've gotten some. They were all solid 8/10s, except for one girl, but she had interest in my friend, not me.

It was funny, cuz the director of that ward was frustrated because none of the women would date within the ward.

based on my two experiences with Mormons, this is accurate
also to OP, yes

Utah barely fucking counts. Tons of jack mormons in Utah.

This is correct, although technically the wording is "hot drinks" iirc. For some reason hot chocolate and tea are culturally accepted though. But caffeinated pop gets thrown in because... idk reasons.

I mean, when I left they tried to bribe with with baked goods, not cut my head off.

Never going back. The church has devoted members and I respect their faith in God. Exgf dragged be to her singles ward. They meme the happy family shit hard but practically every single member I'd talked to individually had moved across the country away from what they complained of as crappy degenerate family. Ex had grown up in Cali and had a degenerate Cali family so moved to Michigan with her dad lol, these faggots need to read the book of Matthew to validate themselves.

For all the work the church demands of members you'd think they could establish a church school to counteract degeneracy and leftism spread by public school. But no.

Don't get me started on why gf dumped me...

this so much, my personal qt was into biting hurting masochist style

>2 qt american missionaries visited me last week
>Gave me the book and asked if I want to read it and become baptized
>Read some of book of mormon
>It's all hogwash from a racist charlatan thinking America is the greatest
>They'll be back on monday and I have to discuss it with them

How do I convert them to Lurtheranism?

I honestly wonder how people fall for stuff like that. Are they all like me and just in it for the waifus or what

See
Only feasible chance but women rarely dissent from their group so your chances are not likely

>How do I convert them to Lurtheranism?
Dunno, start to rip pages from their book and say it's better that way?

most member know its bs but dont say anything because they were raised in it, they enjoy the clean living and free favors, its tribalism more than anything
some people want in

I would assume most don't scrutinize it and get sucked in by the community. Not a lot of converts in Europe though, so being uneducated definitely helps.

Agreed, jack Mormons are far more prevalent in Utah, oddly enough. I went to school with kids that did ecstasy and coke every weekend but were the same kids doing baptisms for the dead. A large portion of those kids only did it because they got to see similarly aged kids in white attire. Fucking pervs.

There's a reason Utah is number one in internet porn subscription. Also, Mormons rationalize drug use because it isn't alcohol. Utah is a weird state.

People outside of Utah are far more strict in their adherence to dogma. It's weird as fuck.

>2 qt american missionaries visited me last week
>Gave me the book and asked if I want to read it and become baptized
Same thing happened to me on a train. Probably were the same ones.

Well in Utah it's sort of just background radiation. Outside of Utah it's you and a smaller number of people, so you tend to stick together. It also means more gossiping etc, so there is much more social pressure to not be a degenerate.

Turku?

>inb4 suomen perseen

You forgot the church will demand 10% of all your gibs.

>background radiation

That's exactly what it is. I don't even think about it anymore because it is just "there" all the time.

Utah is a good state otherwise.

7.5/10 would raise kids here if all the girls weren't fucking psycho with cultural indoctrination.

Nah, Helsinki.
Also one of them gave me her phone number, but i looked it up and it belonged to their handler or something.

>tfw you live in the ghetto and the mormons won't come anywhere near your place

>tfw you live in the ghetto and the jehovahs witnesses are crazy enough to come to your neighborhood

Meet up together when the qt's are gonna come by then try and convert them away from Mormonism as much as possible while meming it up and recording a video for us

>Utah is a good state otherwise.

Used to be. The commiefornias keep moving there and jacking up the rent and pollution.

Fuck i'm yet to meet any mormons. They just don't go to poorland or something? I want to get a book to! Back in the day Jehowa's Witnesses were giving out free bibles and those wonderfull hard-cover books with crazy ilustrations of ethnic children playing with lions and shit. Poor bastard were hit by the crisis so bad that they barely can afford to give out some low quality leaflets now.

>People outside of Utah are far more strict in their adherence to dogma
As usual, Terry Pratchett described it perfectly, though he was using Satanists.
>>Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them.
>They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when your got right down to it, particularly evil.
>Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.
>Anyway, being /brought up/ as a Satanist tended to take the edge off it. It was just something you did on Saturday nights. And the rest of the time you simply got on with life the best you could, just like everyone else.

Kind of. They mostly stay at Sundance and Park City. They are running out of room so they spill into SLC but rent and pollution are up because of the fact that niggers are reporducing at a retarded rate.

When I was a kid I saw one black person, a kid. And he didn't even go to my school. Now, I see these fucks speaking ooga booga at smith's and I get incensed as fuck.

I dislike all of the liberal fucks that are ruining the conservative utopia that Utah used to be. Small business was growing, whites were the only people held priesthood and therefore had a large influence on politics, and they weren't a drain on society.

Now we have blacks getting shot because they were going to murder a white man and the population protests because "he was 17 and dindu" despite what the body cam shows.

Utah is also one of the biggest supporters of the LGBTQ+XYZABC movement because they've been cucked by their emotions.

Well articulated user. Mormonism is just something you do on Sundays, and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. And sometimes Saturdays.

Even with all of the exposure to the dogma, most people do it because they are familiar with it. They are comfortable with it.

It is quite interesting to think about.

Jehovas Witnesses have been visiting me for years. They're pretty cool guys. Once showed me a video of how they go canoeing for miles to reach some shacks in south American jungles to spread the word every couple weeks.

They don't fuck around when it comes to media coverage.

As far as I'm concerned, the Mormons are weird, but they're alright.
Not as annoying as Jehovah's Witnesses.
They're traditionally big on the Second Amendment, which is a point in my book.
Plus, their theology has some cool crazy shit in there. I need to get a book from them, next time they come knocking at the door.

youtube.com/watch?v=RD7vKmglHMc

(Checked for KEK!)

Mainly pinoys if there were aryan women walking around id listen

I'm in! Where do I sign up?!

Should be able to get one sent to you if you go to the official site. The downside is they will probably send missionaries to your door to deliver it.

All the fancy pictures are in the Pearl of Great Price, though. BoM is just a wall of text.

>no tea
what the fuck

My gf I'd Mormon and she's converting to orthodoxy for me. They're insane and I've shown her what normal Christianity is like without the ridiculous rules and church worship over Christ worship.

don't do it. in high school i was friends with the mormons big time and i'd invite all my mormon bros out and occasionally their sisters would tag along and it was miserable. they are basically swedes with "awww da poor refugees" mentality.

Utah. It's Dry county- the State.