Jew Jokes - THE BEST OF

ITT Let's release our best and funniest jewish jokes.

I'll start:
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't shout while being cooked.

this one is pretty funny

Pretty good goyim
Check this one

Why did the Aussie go to the travel agency? Because he wanted to find a bookstore.

>How many jews died during the Holocaust?
>Not enough.

What's the difference betweeen a Scout and a jew?
The scout comes back from the camp
>alternatively, if the others answer that
Monitors don't go in the showers with the jews >extra dirty

K E K

A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest turns to the rabbi and says "so I crewed a young boy the other day..." the rabbi replies "out of what?"

A Catholic priest and a Rabbi are talking when the priest exclaims "Lets fuck some kids!"
"Out of what?" the Rabbi asks.

*screwed

ayyyy

Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years?
Someone dropped a penny.

>Why the nose of a jew is so big?
>air is free

A Jew goes to visit his Jewish mate.
He finds him stripping the walls of wallpaper.
"Doing a bit of renovating then, are you?" he asks.
"No, we're moving house," says his mate.

Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?

A: A long, long time ago, a Jew dropped a nickel down a gopher hole.

_________________________

What is the difference between a bar of soap and a Jew?

A bar of soap lasts longer than one shower.

__________________________

Q: How do you tell if Jews are living next door to you?

A: There is wet toilet paper hanging off the clothesline.

___________________________

I'm sweating like a jew in a taxi

What's the most Jews you can cram in to fit in a Volkswagen?
>6 million.

How do you get them back out of the Volkswagen?
>Empty the ash tray.

Rabbi shlomo is in his way to the synagogue riding a cab, the driver pissed stop the car and begin an violent argument with another driver, shlomo double facpalming yield *stop it! stop it* the taxi driver turn himself to the rabbi and apologize for his behaviour, shlomo reply *no stop it! the taximeter!!!*

It's: Air is the only thing in this world that is free...... That's why Jews have such big noses.

What did one Jew say to the other Jew?

>Nothing, lampshades can't talk.

What's the difference between a priest and a coal miner? One gets stuck in a mine shaft, the other gets his shaft stuck in a miner.

What did the Jewish peadophile say to the child? "Wanna buy some candy?"

Little Moshe is a little kid in Auschwitz.
Moshe come to the general during the inspection.
Moshe : "Hey, general, tomorrow it's my birthday. I will be 8 years old !".
General : "No."


Find a better one faggots.

>Let's release our best and funniest jewish jokes

>Posts one that everyone heard a bunch of times since elementary school

these are pretty good, but step it up goys
why do jews like watching porn backwards?
they love the part the hooker gives the money back

Checked based Israel

how do you get a jewish girl's phone number?
roll up her sleeve
im a samefagging kike fight me you dindus

Two Jews are walking down a dark alley in New York City when a mugger jumps out of the shadows and demands all their money. So they both take out their wallets, and one Jew turns to the other and says, "oh, by the way, here's that 20 bucks I owe you."

>how do you get a jewish girl's phone number?

You fucked that one up Schlomo. It's just "number."

ayy im paid to shill by the word and im making more shekels that way

Stop illegally occupying our thread or I'm telling the UN

...

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

The hardest part about telling a jew joke is maintaining your concentration.

fucking kek
why do jewish cannibals don't eat germans?
they give em gas

it was my thread first, i've been in this thread for 2000 years
it even says so in my bible