What was the most Jewish thing you've ever done?

What was the most Jewish thing you've ever done?

watch schindlers list

Pretended to be half Jewish for best medical care.

pinch off a turd on the bathroom floor at a gas station. it was close to the door so when the next person opened it they would have smeared it across the floor

Your mom

Killed God

I ripped a 5€ bill in half, stapled it back together, folded it so that the staples weren't visible, went to the school's stationery and had it changed from a bill to coins.

Pretended the holocaust actually happened.

>start uni
>have $50,000 spare (more than at 99% of people at uni)
>go out drinking with people
>OYYYY VEYYY, I have no money to my name and my student loans haven't arrived yet (they had), please may poor old me borrow some money goyim
>have absolutely no intentions of paying them back and know full well they'll forget

>be me
>see person drop 100 dollars on the ground
>pick them shekels up
>guy franticlly searches for his bill
>asks if ive seen some money by any chance
>nawman.jpg
>guy gets of the bus
>shekelscollectedgoy.webm
>mfw

Replied to this obvious bait.

Convinced my buddy to sign up for online poker site because new members got 10 dollars for free, then stole those 10 bucks to my account.

vote for trump

exist

I scammed a guy out of 10,000,000 mesos when I played Maple Story like 8 years ago

Never go on dates because they cost money

I betrayed Jesus for 33 silver shekels

Believe that the holocaust happened and that Israel is slightly better than the other countries in the Middle East.

I've never committed a sex offense against a child as many crimes as I've secretly committed. I once jew'ed my jew boss tho. See he owned a few properties he rented out and I was the repair handyman and it was up to me to write accept rent payments at the office and also cash the checks and give him the cash. He NEVER put it in the bank for some reason and had a giant wall safe so knowing this I started pocketing the $$$$ every month and giving him counterfeits for his safe that weren't ever likely to see a bank and if so he'd have to explain. I did this for over 6 yrs too. I think it's a holy act to rip off a jew and I'm not even religious just agnostic, like most sane people who don't need to be guided tend to be. Ya know fuck them damn kikes

Broke my stapler.
Bought a new one (same brand) at Walmart.
Put my old one in the packaging.
Returned old stapler for a refund saying it was broken.

When I was a kid I run away from Slavs in my neighborhood (dunno what they are doing in Israel probably they lied about being Jews to get out of their shitty countries)

I am Germanic. I do not commit to such sins.

...

Learn to speak Hebrew just so i can read the talmud and get shekels from good goys

Being born

Got my former high school bully fired from a job by bringing up how he used to act to my ultra-liberal gay boss.

that's nigger tier

Oy veyyy...

Felt indifferent towards the suffering of others. Not really that Jewish tho, since I wasn't the cause of their suffering...

>believed I am chosen by god and everyone else are subhumans

i banged your mom without paying

getting out of my mothers kosher vago

I stole a kids drugs at a party(more like found them on the floor) and then sold them back to him at a higher price because he really wanted to get high. It wasn't really scheming Jewishness but I ended up in a good situation and took advantage of it.

Also the drugs were Xanax so he wasn't exactly functional enough to realize that I may have been the one to steal his shit. Don't hang out around xanax users they're stupid scum.

one time I accidentally turned a girl into a crackhead by teaching her how to make foilies after our noses were so fucked from doing blow all night

We had a broken wending machine in my school. People put money in them every day and I fished it out(got 100$ in a few weeks), then they fixed it

I collect old coins, so sometimes i'll pick up change off the floor to check its date. I bet it looks pretty jewy.

Live in South Florida

Ate a foreskin

Sold a single crisp to a friend at school for 40p. That's probably about £1 in today's money (maybe more).

Joined a Jewish fraternity

Believe the Holohaux

>waited for the pizza delivery goy to give me my 10 cent change back

Circumcised my son.

When I was younger, I told a person that I was arguing with that I didn't understand a point he had just made, even though I understood it completely.

I once spun a dreidel - no one told me it was Jewish... NO ONE TOLD ME!!

>order a thing online
>they fuck up and lose it in the warehouse
>I call and ask about it
>they send another one next day air for the delay
>I get it
>a week later, I get the first one as well
>call to make sure they didn't charge me twice or something
>they didn't
>they ask me to pay for it anyways, though 50% off
>I don't
>"o-okay..."
>hang up

I once took a penny from the Take A Penny Leave A Penny dish at the corner store when I didn't need to. Twenty years later and it still haunts me.

To be honest I deserve to be gassed on the day of the rake. I have ruined many lives all in the pursuit of shekels.