IM IN A POLICE STANDOFF. POLICE ARE OUTSIDE MY DOOR. IM SCARED AND I DIDNT COMMIT A CRIME. I CANT GO OUT, WHAT DO I DO?

IM IN A POLICE STANDOFF. POLICE ARE OUTSIDE MY DOOR. IM SCARED AND I DIDNT COMMIT A CRIME. I CANT GO OUT, WHAT DO I DO?

Shitpost on Sup Forums and Sup Forums, naturally.

Shoot them.

That's a really low quality baby

Post it on Sup Forums like a moron

IM NOT JOKING

kill urself

Tell them that you're a Muslim tranny who also identifies as a butane gas stove and that even telling you to open the door is a hatecrime.

OK, then my real answer: beat off

I DONT KNOW WHAT ILL HAVE TO FACE ILL KILL MYSELF I THINK. SUICIDE BY COP MAYBE. PLEASE AND LEGALANONS HELP ME FUCKS SAKE

Surrender, then run for it.

you can slide

Masturbate while opening the door and ask them if they have warrant.

Relax. Dress nice and stroll out with your hands up.
Be white of course or you are probably dead.
kthxbai

get rekt goyim,you will now pay for all those jokes about us you made on 4chins.

post pic

>I'm being raided
>better shitpost!

kys

I DIDNT COMMIT A CRIME MY GF FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND AN HOUR LATER I HEAR A MEGAPHONE. WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? WILL THEY GO AWAY EVENTUALLY?

ask if you're being detained

OPEN THE DOOR FAGGOT

Yes they're going to get bored eventually.

This desu. Tell them that the sound of you shitting yourself is your vital life essence escaping your body and if they don't stop right now that you'll die and they'll all be charged for hate crimes.

Peace was never an option.

First let us talk why did you think that this thread belongs to Sup Forums not Sup Forums

THEN WHAT?

Repeat it

A.) Get detained. Go to jail. Get butt humped by Jamal and facesat by Tyrone.

B.) Probably A

Make sure to record everything on camera so they can't kill you and then say you were crazy.

Tell them if you don't read this post, your mom will die in her sleep tonight.

Tell them they are violating the NAP code of honor for disturbing you at this time of night.

IF I IGNORE THEM WILL THEY GO AWAY? THEY DONT REALLY KNOW IM HERE OR NOT. I CAN DO A FEW NIGHTS IN JAIL, BUT I DIDNT COMMIT ANY CRIME?!

Call the police department and ask what the fuck is going on if you're not LARPing. You're probably larping, though.

Paint your face with shoe paste, yell Black Lives Matter and shoot some cops.

post a timestamp pic for proof or tell us what city you are in so we can watch teh news

Fake and gay.

Make sure you destroy all your cp

praise kek
They know you are there dumb ass.
It's over.
Better microwave your hard drives

SERIOULSY NOT LARPING THEY ARE SAYING STAND DOWN, user, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP.

proof with timestamp or livestream or GTFO

What did you do?

THEN DO IT DUMBASS

I CAN PROBABLY TAKE AUDIO, BUT IM NOT GOING BACK UPSTAIRS IN CASE THEY THINK IM NOT HOME. I GOT A CALL FROM A 'BRO' AND IT WAS THE POLICE, I TOLD THEM I WAS AT A BAR

Take as many of them with you as you can OP.

Weak larping, at least give a hint of realism

Comply with everything they say, make no sudden moves and don't say anything incriminating

THEN FUCKING DO IT
POST SOMETHING
OR GTFO

lol u tk him 2da bar|?

are you hiding under the floorboards or something, why do you think they wont check the downstairs of your house

MY GF FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND FUCKED HER LIP UP, AND LEFT. AN HOUR LATER COPS CAME WITH A MEGAPHONE

Real advice in case you're not larping, just yell back at them that you're opening the door and put your hands up. That's going to be better for you than if they have to enter with force.

Someone probably played a prank on you, unless there's some reason why they could think you are enough of a threat that they can't just ask to talk with you peacefully.

>I GOT A CALL FROM A 'BRO' AND IT WAS THE POLICE,
Please elaborate

You're in trouble now boy.

Start your house on fire, when the flames start going leave the house as a victim. Go to hospital, it's better than going to jail.

I WAS HIDING DOWN THER BUT NOW IM JUST IN MY BASEMENT ROOM, ILL BE ASLEEP IF THEY KICK DOOR. IM FUCKING SCARED AND I THINK THIS WILL BE THE END OF ME

Looks like someone's gonna get locked up for attempted murder

What state are you in OP?

pics or gtfo

MY ROOMATE CASLLED MY PHONE AND IT WAS THE POLICE ON IT I WAS SURPRISED BY THAT THEY ASKED ME TO COME OUT I SAID I WAS AT THE BAR

Don't do that you retard. Intentionally deceiving the police can be an offence itself.

Pics or it's not happening.

are you on drugs?

Don't open the door just hide and escape when it's dark they probably don't have a warrant or they'd be in there already

Fuck off through the back door

Scream "ALRIGHT IM GOING OUT" Open the door with one hand, and the other hand in the air, then put both hands in the air. Oh, and if there's something illegal in your hardrive then microwave it or run a strong magnet on it

Get out there and take it like a man!

hope you closed the lid on your garbage can. they could be out there until morning

If you did nothing wrong, peacefully surrender and lawyer up. Plead the 5th. You will not incriminate yourself.

Go to your window and take a picture of the police with a timestamp.

They won't shoot you unless they believe you have a weapon or have already killed someone.
If you had a hostage they'd definitely shoot you but you'll be fine.

I'm a legal major and want to help you get out of this user. That is if you're not larping.

You're not larping now are you user?

So , your gf went to your "friend" who she is either fucking, or who is pissed because you pushed her down the stairs. This is why the call came from his phone. Your "friend" and your girl are both in on it.

They're here for your realistic loli folder
Better an hero now

Also when you get caught don't say shit to them without your lawyer and do what your lawyer tells you.

SO DO I JUST GO TO SLEEP OR TALK TO THEM ON THE PHONE? I THINK THEYLL THINK ITS A\N ARMED STANDOPFF IM NOT DOING THAT I JUST WAS CHILLING SIPPING BEER AFTER MY BITCH LEFT

judged on the picture you posted, you should kill yourself

this probs

any possible pics for proof of you hiding?

Regardless of whether or not you beat up your gf, it's going to be better for you if you just face them now.

But even if you're innocent, DO NOT tell them anything other than your name and address. You aren't legally required to, and anything else you tell them will not help your case and can be used to incriminate you.

just go outside if you didn't do anything, resisting makes it worse

post proof retard and the many lawyers of Sup Forums can assist you

Well, why do you think there are officers of the law outside your home, asking you to come out with your hands up?

If it was a real stand off, a SWAT team would have cleared your home before a guy with a speaker phone unless someone told the police that you had a gun and were having suicidal thoughts or something melodramatic that did not risk the lives of others.

Normally, they would have a warrant and enter your home if they had intel on you doing something really bad like hiding drugs. If they got no warrant, but are just telling you to exit the home, then I don't know what else it could be. If you aren't in trouble, comply.

just call everyone anti semitic and racist and sucker punch the reporter like any other basic US retard, if the police uses force that´s all the reason you need to shout kill cops in liberal protests for next 20 years

MAGNET YOUR HARD DRIVE AND PEACEFULLY SURRENDER. PLEAD THE 5TH AS NOT TO INCRIMINATE YOURSELF THEN LAWYER UP

NO IM NOT IF I WAIT WILL THEY GO AWAY? I DIDNT COMMIT A CRIME MY GF LITERALLY FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND IS BEING A BITCH BLAMING ME

Most likly the police are montering these posts if anything go outside with your hands up dont prelong it

call 911, and ask what the hell is goin on

OP r u retarded? Srs question.

You prove it.

LARPing is for faggots

Timestamp it or periscope

GIVE US YOUR LOCATION SO WE CAN GET SOME KEKS FROM THE SCANNER

IM GOING TO JAIL REGARDLESS CAN I JUST WIAT IT OUT?

Tit pics with time stamp and then fuck off back to Sup Forums

Did you tell her you were sorry?

Follow this user's advice. Also break up with that clumsy bitch of a gf you got there, OP.

Periscope your surrender

Also op fucked for not complying

>not using 7 proxies

you're going to gitmo lad

2D WOMEN DO NOT HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS AS 3DPD

They will not go away. If they're using a megaphone and you have a bunch of police on your lawn they're expecting a standoff. This will eventually lead to them getting approval to enter the residence due to non-compliance and what they consider resisting arrest inevitably leading to death by police or detainment.

If your girlfriend fell and blamed it on you then you still have rights. They can't just shoot you and this all seems a bit of overkill for a suspected domestic abuse.

Post proof unless you're larping.

Suck their dicks

Barricade yourself in the basement with all your food. Become a mole man and self identify as one. Demand the police dig a tunnel from your house to the police station.

>not complying
>with us police

sweet dreams OP

it'll never get old

I'm in law school. If this sperg is actually in a stand off and he purports to dindu nuffin, he should peacefully surrender, plead the 5th, then lawyer up.

Timestamp of lights or periscope or fuck off, larping faggot