After intensive investigation, sources say that he did NOT slip in his poo, but that he was drunk and merely lost his balance while trying to avoid stepping in his poo.
He should be out of the hospital by next week.
DESIGNATED
Dylan Robinson
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Ayden Sanders
How do you say "Get well soon" in poo ?
Easton Kelly
designated bump
Sebastian Sanchez
that's fucked up
Brandon Price
>He should be out of the hospital by next week.
I don't know reassembling the brain should take a long time.
Eli Reed
It could have been avoided... it didn't have to be this way...
Adam Ward
Also, I don't think that driver ever stopped.
Indian medical science is way ahead of the curve.
Aaron Russell
>insta-death while wasted
>875,000,000 are starving to death, excruciatingly, every day
big fucking nothing
Nicholas Hernandez
Is he kill?
Lincoln Reyes
yeah you could be born white. chances of this happening to you is then diminished because:
>you shit at home, or
>if you decide to shit outdoors it won't be right next to traffic on the side of a road
Alexander Gray
And the Darwin Award goes to...
Nicholas Lewis
He is better now.
Henry Edwards
Luckily he evacuated his bowels before hand
Joshua Gonzalez
They patched him with poo he good
Jack Ward
>implying he didn't undergo poo-mitosis so that a new poo would be formed
Bentley Kelly
>insta-death
There was a solid quarter second of drunken scrambling.
Doctors revived him at the hospital. He'll write a book about his near death experience and how he talked to all 100 gods.
If only he had listened to Sup Forums.
Fuck, not even that. If he had just used the designated street...
The one who died the same way 1.2 seconds later but wasn't captured on video. They pass the award on to the next winner each time.
He's growing stronger every day.
Good thing too, or his death would have been really embarrassing.
It was Nanotech poo sent back from the year 2030.
Asher Roberts
i thought he was going to fall into shit ditch i was wrong
Michael Torres
I don't think that driver felt it to be honest.
Matthew Smith
NEW EVIDENCE HAS EMERGED THAT WAS OVERLOOKED IN PRIOR INVESTIGATIONS:
He shit his pants. Check when he falls and his leg goes up. He never pulled his pants down...
Matthew Phillips
Probably not, the truck didn't look like it moved at all from it.
Nicholas Jones